horrible - burst into tears in the parking lot at the mall..

tsuggs02
tsuggs02 Posts: 2 Member
edited October 1 in Introduce Yourself
so over the last 2 years, since my divorce, i've slowly put back on ALL the weight i lost in the past... 31 of the 35 pounds. i fool myself by buying pants with elastic, i fool myself by looking at only my face in the mirror, and NOT ALL OF ME... i fool myself when i am simply exhausted walking up one flight of stairs at work and say im just tired from the night before. FACT IS - i know i have gained the weight back - i am at my ALMOST BIGGEST - which was a very dark place for me.... fact is I went to the mall with my boyfriend today and saw my reflection in the glass walking back to the car and burst into tears.... i KNEW i had gained weight but refused to SEE that i had gained weight.... i came home, put together my plan (the same I used before) - NOT DIET, changes in my choices - and logged on to find a calorie tracker.... i decided to go ahead and put in my foods i ate today to see just about how many calories i consume every day... OVER 3100!!! i was floored.. okay, really i wasnt - but OMG!!!! how did i let myself become this way? I am 36, a mother of 2 very active sport involved teenagers and have a full time very demanding stressful job... and single mom... you know what... no different that many other women (who aren't fat) that are out there... i have made 2 years of HORRIBLE choices, have not taken care of me 1st, have not planned and prepared for each day, just go with the flow when the kids want fast food - it's so much easier.... NO MORE!!!!! Today, August 11, 2011 - I tracy VOW to take care of me FIRST, to plan my days ahead of time, to know there will be challenges and NOT take the easy (drive thru) route.... I will obtain my goal of 135 - 140 and I will get there making good choices. If i am not happy and healthy - and i know for myself they go hand in hand, then no one in my house is happy.... and that is not healthy for anyone.... i love my kids, i love myself, i just have to remember that even though they are my number one priority in life that I HAVE TO BE #1 too..... thanks for reading my rambling....
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Replies

  • Sherry1979
    Sherry1979 Posts: 457 Member
    Sounds like you are going into this with the right frame of mind and a well thought out game plan so I know you're gonna do great!!!
  • birdlover97111
    birdlover97111 Posts: 346 Member
    Good luck on your journey, Tracy...You can add me if you need more support... :flowerforyou:
  • yellowdog77
    yellowdog77 Posts: 64
    Good luck you can do it.
  • Heatherbelle_87
    Heatherbelle_87 Posts: 1,078 Member
    Welcome to MFP. Putting yourself first will NOT harm your kids, if anything it will make them better and appreciate what you are doing become as healthy and fit as they are. You are going to do amazing!
  • ering
    ering Posts: 183 Member
    Good for you for deciding to make a change. Good luck on your journey :)
  • DeeDeeLHF
    DeeDeeLHF Posts: 2,301 Member
    Good for you Tracy!!!

    YOu really can succeed with this program.

    Set realistic expectations and you will do great!

    Welcome!

    D
  • kayleeblue
    kayleeblue Posts: 273
    You have come to the right place! It's a hard journey but you have taken the first step. Now just one day at a time and if that's to much break it down from there. Hour...minute,,,second. whatever it takes to help YOU take care of You! Good Luck! add me if you would like.
  • jeffsgal105
    jeffsgal105 Posts: 195 Member
    You can do it!! :) Add me as a friend if you want. I will do my best to encourage you on this journey!
  • joimichele
    joimichele Posts: 382
    Wow! That was inspiring. Good Luck!
  • newmommy2cash
    newmommy2cash Posts: 118
    Awesome Tracy!
    Stay motivated because you can do anything you set your mind to.

    I want to introduce you to someone who is very motivational and will more than likely understand what you are going through. Her name is Lori and she is the sweetest person you'll ever come across. She is very supportive! Add her!


    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/lori_menorahlover

    I wish you all the best! xo
  • korygilliam
    korygilliam Posts: 594 Member
    Very touching story...excellent job on making this decision. You have come to a great place where many people have succeeded w/ getting back in shape. Stick to it...and if you slip, don't let that be a reason to quit...get back on the saddle and keep riding!!!
  • cownancy
    cownancy Posts: 291
    Good for you for deciding to make good choices in the future! Sounds like you already have a plan to follow and are going to take control of your food intake by planning in advance and entering everything in the food diary. What a great starting plan!

    Practice your positive attitude and give yourself credit for every step you take in the right direction. When you make a misstep, figure out what you can learn from it and then forget about it and go on.

    Keep your eye on the ball and try to have fun throughout the process. No more tears.....only CHEERS!!!!
  • Kelly_Wilson1990
    Kelly_Wilson1990 Posts: 3,245 Member
    You can do it!!! This is a great place to get and keep you on track!!!!
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    Welcome! You can definitely do this. There is a lot of support and information here. Read the FAQs and if you have any questions at all, there is a search function, because odds are, you are not the only one!

    Best of luck!
  • QueenFe
    QueenFe Posts: 81 Member
    I think we all at some point reached our darkest moment... When the light finally came on and we decided enough is enough. I think you're there. You can do this, stay focused and come here for support, we are here to support each other. I know u can do it!!! Feel free to add me for more support :-)
  • SailingMike
    SailingMike Posts: 237 Member
    Good for you for having the fortitude to move your life forward. May I suggest you include your kids (where appropriate) in not only to join your journey for a healthier eating choices but also in getting out with them and exercising together. Going on walks, riding bikes, swimming, kicking a soccer ball around... what ever. Do it together and you will be putting BOTH you AND your kids 1st.
  • SwtKittN
    SwtKittN Posts: 176 Member
    I too was pretty amazed when I saw my daily "normal" calorie intake. Some pretty scary numbers :\ But along with the site and the awesome support family you can build here you can start making new choices being better informed :) Feel free to add me as a friend if you like too :D Can never have too many friends XD
  • amycal
    amycal Posts: 646 Member
    I am rooting for you! You know what you need to do and you CAN do this!
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    Sorry you had a bad day - Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. It will be better.
    You'll love it here

    Good luck & best wishes
  • chrissym78
    chrissym78 Posts: 628 Member
    You picked a great site, MFP is amazing! Good luck and feel free to add me if you wish :)
  • sommernani
    sommernani Posts: 2 Member
    I remember the morning I weighed myself and hit the BIG 200 I went walking at a local school track and cried and cried for the entire time of my walk. I am only 5'3" and that is ALOT of weight to be carrying around. For some reason staying in the high 190's and even 199 somehow wasn't as bad as actually hitting 200. It was a big wake up call and I am still struggling EVERY day to work on my weight. I have more bad days than good but it's time to really REFLECT on the choices we've been making and the very REAL and Temporal consequences. I'm with you! You're gonna do GREAT!
  • ReneeJM
    ReneeJM Posts: 117 Member
    You've done the hard part by admitting your failure. Now go forward and do what you know you can do! Most everyone on here has had setbacks and reversals but now we are all moving forward. Let's do it together!
  • smallerthighs
    smallerthighs Posts: 148
    One thing you'll notice IMMEDIATELY about this site......the people here are soooo supportive. We're all in this together..you are never alone!!!
  • Kougra
    Kougra Posts: 358 Member
    Hello and Welcome! You took the first step in your journey. You are not alone in this. We are all here to help each other! HUGS to you!!
  • melhort
    melhort Posts: 31 Member
    This is certainly a great place to get the support you need! Logging my food everyday has helped me to think twice about what I eat and made me realize how many calories are in all the foods I eat. Feel free to add me and good luck!!
  • mytime60
    mytime60 Posts: 176 Member
    I was that person just 6 months ago. You have taken the best first step you could have taken. You found MFP. A calorie tracker has been shown to be a more successful way to lose weight. I personally feel the support you get here has been my biggest reason for success. I'm not done yet, and yes there have been good days and bad days. In fact today was not exactly a good day for food choices. But I have learned here that each day is a new day; and as long as the majority of the days you make good choices you will succeed. Six months ago I was at the heaviest I had ever been and rarely exercised; I have now lost 34 pounds and am within 17 lbs of my initial goal. I love to exercise, ok maybe not, but I love the way I feel when I'm done and feel accomplished. I wish you much success. I'm sure you will achieve not only weight loss goals; but you will find a strength you didn't know you had. I hear that from almost everyone here as they make the healthy changes in their life.
  • alexandradeyl
    alexandradeyl Posts: 67 Member
    you go girl
  • LisaZaugg1976
    LisaZaugg1976 Posts: 1,144 Member
    You can do it!!!! I use to weigh 170 pounds in 2008 now I weigh 109 now in 2011 it is something that can be done!!!! Wishing you the best :)
  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
    Just think, you could be a big as me and have infinitely more weight to lose.

    :)

    Kidding aside, you're in the right place for support. Just stay focused and you can do it!
  • BProudOfU
    BProudOfU Posts: 83 Member
    Wow! Reading this I can relate!! I too am a single Mom, drive thru is so much easier when you have had a long day at work, kids are hungry, you are tired, etc... I know I would not look at myself in the mirror, but when I did catch a glimpse...OMG. I understand completely! How did this happen? Good for you for making the decision to change your life. This is a great site with lots of friends and motivation. Sounds like you have come to the place where you recognize a change is needed. Good luck with your journey. I am here to support and motivate you!!
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