My date with the person above me was going great until...
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He preferred her box to my package0
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...he tried to sell me a time share in Florida0
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I asked her whether I can join to Florida0
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Beardfarmss wrote: »He preferred her box to my package
I was lmao0 -
She woke up the next morning and I was all like.....
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He wouldn’t stop obsessively using his toothbrush in bizarre ways0
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She kept getting on me for using the wrong folk for that course. At least I was using a folk.0
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He started to feel too Royal about himself with all those different types of courses and folks and forks0
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Until she mentioned bondage (me)
And something about a vacuum cleaner0 -
Actually I didn't even know we were on a date. Oops0
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She didn't give great back massages0
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He didn’t like my back massages0
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her hubby show up0
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His hubby showed up0
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Her boot heels kept stabbing my feet while we were dancing0
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Until the wine ran out and then so did she.0
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He cut me off saying the wine made me "too handsy".1
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She never got handsy with me0
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I offered to use my feet because my hands were busy holding tacos, or to use my feet to hold the tacos so I could be handsy. You should have seen the look on his face... Sheesh0
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We were kicked out of the restaurant after they saw her twisting my nipples with her toes0
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He sharted and got embarassed and left and stuck me with the tab.1
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I got jealous because she ran into someone better looking than me and then she pretty much just hopped in a luxury car to never be seen by me again0
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I realized she mis-spelled her nickname. DRUNKind45 doesn't know her limits!0
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His wife showed up and asked me to be their surrogate. #Yikes0
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she swiped left on me as i was sitting right there0
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LOL. What did you do to make me swipe left while you were in front of me?0
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online profile said it was a guy but it turned out to be a woman0
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