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My date with the person above me was going great until...
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She started drinking from some other guy's straw1
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He introduced me to his alter ego, Sheila...0
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He didn't want to go into the bar with me and just waited outside while I got hammered. After 4 hours of throwing back shots of tequila and Jagermeister I totally forgot I was on a date.1
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I asked her to get out of the car and push it so I could pop the clutch “Daniel LaRusso” style...1
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We finished dinner and he left me with the bill0
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She spent the whole time on her phone responding to MFP Threads0
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He accused me of shrinkage even though I hadn't stepped foot in the pool...1
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He showed me a photo of his last girlfriend and it happened to be my Grandmother1
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I complimented her on her earrings and she replied that she wasn’t wearing any...0
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he liked to wear polka dot shirts with plaid golf pants0
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He didn't get my humor0
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She was into Slapstick comedy and kept whacking me with an extention ladder0
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He sneezed on my food ..0
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She put her cigarette out in my soup.0
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We got in the Uber and he requested Ice Ice Baby0
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She told me that the Monkeys were far better than the Beatles. And I was just about to "Hold her hand".0
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His hands were soaking with sweat0
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She couldn't handle my sweet dance moves and abandoned me on the dance floor1
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She showed up wasted and sat at the wrong table0
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She got violent when I refused to share my chapstick0
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