Less Alcohol- June 2018- One Day at a Time
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »Slept like a baby last night. Usually when i don't drink, I sleep soundly and calmly. I love AF evenings because the next morning you feel so damn good.
because - YES! i agree wholeheartedly!1 -
This was a good read this morning. As some of you know, The Sober school is a great resource.
https://thesoberschool.com/give-up-on-your-alcohol-free-goals/
Haha, very good.
And I loved the link to the blog post it sent me to:
https://thesoberschool.com/it-would-never-have-happened-if-id-still-been-drinking/
It's his students' many answers to the question, and perhaps others here might want to answer too:
"Is there something you’ve experienced recently that would never have happened, if you’d still been drinking?"
I have thought about this for a few days. I had hoped not to give an almost MFP cliché answer but the only thing I can think of is weight loss. That is no minor thing for me but kind of run-of-the-mill for here. While I was drinking tomorrow was usually the answer to everything regarding health improvements so while it is possible to lose weight while consuming for me it wasn't in the cards.
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Great blog on this site. Whole site is pretty good.
http://www.hipsobriety.com/home/2015/4/30/are-you-afraid-to-quit-drinking-x2w84-5emp7-mzw4y
One of you mentioned once before thinking about the "future YOU" and how it will be when you cut out or cut back on alcohol. There is a guided meditation for this idea on this blog. Xo6 -
I lost 8 lbs in May! Cutting back on the beer was a lot of it. Being in charge of 3 kids, ages 9 months - 5 years, probably helped too, LOL6
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Ok Sunday is here and the start of the AF week. Last night I had a few beers which was my drinking night. Didn’t start my Fifth one cause I had enough. Went to watch a DVD while the rest of the boaters were still having the dock party. Woke up feeling fine this morning and looking forward to this AF week. I have to find something that is in a can that has zero calories that when I put it into the beer sleeve it looks like a beer and then no one will know I’m not drinking alcohol. Then I won’t get bugged and just fit in. I think that will make it easier to stop.6
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@JulieAL1969 - That dream about your son is interesting for sure. You know you don't want him going down that path. I feel bad that you're blaming yourself, because you sound like an excellent mom. I think he's going to get an amazingly helpful education watching you confront your alcohol issues and conquer them. I'm sure he's inspired by your strength and determination already and I'll bet he thinks about you when he thinks about drinking in his own life.
I also am having a weekend I'm not particularly proud of. I had quite the powerful craving for Chardonnay and bought two bottles of a kind I love. This is the first wine I've bought since December. It was just kinda calling my name, and I'm not sure why. Something about a cool glass on a hot day maybe? So, of course, I drank too much of it, no huge surprise. I have all kinds of theories about this, including that I may be restricting too much in both the food and alcohol areas. Also having trouble with overeating, mostly sweets. My approach today is to plan to have a couple of things that I love in moderation (wine and sweets, LOL) and then call it a day. I'm also upping the protein to deal with food cravings and possibly upping the calories a bit (I try to stick to 1200, which is low). We shall see. The worst part of this is waking up the next morning, totally disappointed in myself with a headache in the background.
Hope everybody's weekend is going well or at least better than mine!8 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »Slept like a baby last night. Usually when i don't drink, I sleep soundly and calmly. I love AF evenings because the next morning you feel so damn good.
because - YES! i agree wholeheartedly!
Yes yes yes!!! For so long I’ve slept so horribly because of the drinking. I haven’t had anything all weekend and I’ve woken up each day feeling so good, and with much more energy!4 -
@amberellen12 Maybe you could use an actual beer can and rinse it out. Then, just fill it with what you want? I hate that you will get bugged and feel pressured to fit in!4
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amberellen12 wrote: »Ok Sunday is here and the start of the AF week. Last night I had a few beers which was my drinking night. Didn’t start my Fifth one cause I had enough. Went to watch a DVD while the rest of the boaters were still having the dock party. Woke up feeling fine this morning and looking forward to this AF week. I have to find something that is in a can that has zero calories that when I put it into the beer sleeve it looks like a beer and then no one will know I’m not drinking alcohol. Then I won’t get bugged and just fit in. I think that will make it easier to stop.
Have you tried any N/A beers? Back when I was pregnant and my husband was still drinking I drank N/A beers in social situations, one time we were in a boat on the lake and after finishing his beer my husband pulled it out of the koozy to throw it away and realized he had been drinking my Coors n/a instead of his coors light - he couldn’t tell the difference. Now he gave up drinking and I am mostly on wine ( in moderation!) but he drinks the n/a beers regularly And I’ve been considering doing that for some of my a/f nights except I’m afraid it will prompt people to ask if I’m pregnant!4 -
Heading out for another work trip to Europe - my third this year this is definitely not the norm for me! I’m excited because I’m going to France this time and Germany and I know our local teams have some really fun evening plans for us... but I also know the alcohol will be flowing with the group I’m traveling with. Going to do my best to stick with mindful moderation and not over do it - the worst feelings I’ve had after drinking too much come from being at work functions and the embarrassment and anxiety it induces the next day.4
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I highly recommend the book 'Rational Recovery' it's the most straight forward no bull *kitten* book on drinking out there. Alcoholism is not a disease! Cirrhosis is a disease. Smoking is not a disease! Cancer is a disease. Over eating is not a disease! Morbid obesity is a disease. Drinking, smoking and eating to excess or "addictions" and you do them because your "beast" tells you to. There are two of you in your head. At the base brain at the top of the spinal cord is where your mind generates enormous drives for oxygen, food, shelter, sex, and other base instincts. As man evolved we got to the point where we had a frontal cortex. That part of the brain is you. It controls decision making and all other facets of your life that are choices. That base brain is your "BEAST" and it's what's telling you it's OK to drink even though "YOU" know that drinking has consistently has produced bad experiences and consequences. You have to learn to recognize your "BEAST" and tell it to *kitten* off. Recognition of the addictive voice (Your Beast) is the key. AVRT is the whole process. AVRT is "Addictive Voice RecognitionTechnique". You recognize that the voice telling you to drink, and it only wants to drink for one reason; it likes to drink, no it loves to drink because of the deeeeep pleaaaaasure that alcohol provides. You don't need AA and those meetings where people talk about alcohol all the time. How many people do you know who quit smoking and don't go to ex smokers
meetings? "Addictive Voice Recognition Technique" is simply a technique where you recognize that the voice in your head doesn't give a *kitten* about you, but the other voice in your head is YOU and you know that time and time again drinking has produced bad results. But the reason you keep doing it is because your BEAST only cares about getting that deep pleasure that comes with that second or third drink and then into oblivion you go. And the calories just keep eating up your daily allowance. So your beast says don't eat and then you can spend those calories on booze. So now you're drinking on an empty stomach and we all know what that means. Google Rational Recovery and accept that if you wrote on this blog you are addicted to alcohol and your BEAST is running the show!
Time to put AVRT into action and move on.5 -
@kittybenn Just to add to your message a little background. Thankfully, neither of my kids drink. That is such a blessing to me. I've heard the earlier you start in life the more of a problem it can become. I think we got lucky- they've always been rule followers PLUS their friend group doesn't drink. So, while my son is in college, he and his friends are hanging out but doing fun things like hiking, karaoke, bowling, sledding, etc.
My friend, Chardonnay, told me she missed you, so she called you. Just adding a little humor:)
I know you felt a little defeated the next day, but think of the big picture and how much chardonnay you didn't drink over the last six months. You're way ahead of the curve. And now, you can go back to your AF days and move on. Xo3 -
@mdrhodes8317 Thank you for this post. I just had an aha moment. Feel free to add anything else you've learned along the way. This was eye-opening xo2
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@amberellen12, a few things I drink from cans—not to look like beer but simply because they come in cans—are LaCroix flavored waters and diet ginger ale. I think quite a few sparkling waters come in cans.4
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I find that alcohol is my main problem where weight gain is concerned so I would like to join your June group starting tomorrow (4th June). I have a festival to go to on 3rd July so would like to be AF for the whole month until then. Thanks5
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crazykatlady820 wrote: »@amberellen12 Maybe you could use an actual beer can and rinse it out. Then, just fill it with what you want? I hate that you will get bugged and feel pressured to fit in!
I’ve been thinking of doing that so I don’t bring attention to myself and can just enjoy the evening.WinoGelato wrote: »amberellen12 wrote: »Ok Sunday is here and the start of the AF week. Last night I had a few beers which was my drinking night. Didn’t start my Fifth one cause I had enough. Went to watch a DVD while the rest of the boaters were still having the dock party. Woke up feeling fine this morning and looking forward to this AF week. I have to find something that is in a can that has zero calories that when I put it into the beer sleeve it looks like a beer and then no one will know I’m not drinking alcohol. Then I won’t get bugged and just fit in. I think that will make it easier to stop.
Have you tried any N/A beers? Back when I was pregnant and my husband was still drinking I drank N/A beers in social situations, one time we were in a boat on the lake and after finishing his beer my husband pulled it out of the koozy to throw it away and realized he had been drinking my Coors n/a instead of his coors light - he couldn’t tell the difference. Now he gave up drinking and I am mostly on wine ( in moderation!) but he drinks the n/a beers regularly And I’ve been considering doing that for some of my a/f nights except I’m afraid it will prompt people to ask if I’m pregnant!
I’ve never tried any but will give it a shot but a lot of them can spot that kind of beer a mile away and then start all the questions.@amberellen12, a few things I drink from cans—not to look like beer but simply because they come in cans—are LaCroix flavored waters and diet ginger ale. I think quite a few sparkling waters come in cans.
I haven’t heard or tried LaCroix waters. I was also thinking about making unsweetened ice tea. Anyone got a good recipe? Up here in the part of Canada I’m in ice tea is sweet. I like the unsweetened kind.
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@amberellen12, I discovered this easy-peezy, delicious method for making a pitcher of unsweetened and un-bitter iced tea a few years ago. It's from The Splendid Table on NPR. Ever since, I've had at least one pitcher going at a time in my fridge, and I've used all kinds of tea--black, herbal, peach, raspberry, etc. This method works for all of them. Enjoy!
https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep1 -
@amberellen12, P.S. I use tea bags. Even easier than straining the tea.1
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@amberellen12, P.S. I use tea bags. Even easier than straining the tea.
Thanks for the suggestion! I will try this, too.0 -
I think it is great there are new techniques for helping people past alcohol. I don't personally feel I need AA or a rehab program because I want to drink but I don't have to drink. AA has been around for 80 years and have helped a lot of people and I think they still have their place for those that need it. As the old saying goes "you don't throw the baby out with the bathwater."
Speaking of babies about a million years ago before I was married I was putting myself through college working in a restaurant. One winter night the weather turned hostile and when we were closing a fellow full term pregnant employee realized it was unsafe for her to try and make it home. I offered for her to stay at my place which was much closer. She asked me and then my roommate for something to drink and lied and said the doctor said it was okay but there was nothing at our place that night. She was so desperate that a little later she drank our mouthwash.
It seems to me she needed a treatment facility and whether or not AA could have helped after that I don't pretend to know. I know some really rough stories about alcohol and substance abuse but this one stands out because when she was asking for something to drink she was a different person and it was my first encounter with an alcoholic of that extreme.
I don't know what is right or wrong for anyone but me and I don't judge but as far as I am concerned the more methods there are out to get help the better.
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