Treated Differently

The first time I lost a lot of weight, it seemed everyone wanted to point it out a work. Three or four times a day I'd hear 'Oh, wow-- what's your secret?' and comments like 'the incredible shrinking woman!' Most of these comments came from women, and mostly older women at that. Motherly figures trying to be very supportive, bless their hearts.
Believe it or not, even that positive attention made me feel uncomfortable. It made me feel like I was being stared at more-- especially in the lunch room. And since I heard it so much, I feared if I ever fell off the wagon, I would be the talk of the town. I've never been one that liked being the center of attention for ANY reason.
Call me a product of a lifetime of low self-esteem, but when you continually hear surprised exclamations of 'Wow! You're looking so good!' it makes me feel like saying, 'Just how hideous was I before?'

you have just hit the nail on the head for me! i get the same thing at work all the time, i'm not a show pony so don't appreciate the extra attention!
its actually started as an inside joke between the few people who work close by to me who hear it as many times a day as i do! though that does make me look at the funny side
getting a bit annoyed with the "look at you, skinny mini!" comments - or the good old "whats your secret/what have you been doing?!"

After losing approx. 120 lbs, these are the TWO things that stand out for me:

1- Men open and hold doors!
2- Salespeople want to help me buy clothes!

Generally speaking most men don't find fat women attractive yet there are some beautiful overweight women mostly facially. A fit male generally wants a fit female for many reasons and not all those are physical. With that being said i don't treat people differently because of there weight but naturally when it comes to picking and choosing a partner overweight women go to the back of the line because for me i find obesity a sign of lack of discipline because it is. I lost ALOT of weight and yes i look good but i didn't do it for anybody other then myself. I'm treated the same now as when i was 50 lbs heavier. I'm much healthier now and that benefits every occasion even under the covers. True friends don't care what you look like but alot of times those who want to be more then friends most certainly do.

I would think people who have struggled with weight issues themselves would be less likely to judge others on appearance. Nobody likes being judged by how they look or how much they weigh. These are only one of thousands of characterstics in a person that make them who they are, why would you judge someone based on only that one trait? Fit people have faults too - just as many as fat people, some of the most physically fit people I know are also some of the most undisciplined people I know in other aspect of their lives just as some of the more overweight people I know are incredibly disciplined in other areas of their lives.

I've been on both sides (thin and fat) and yes it's true - people, (men especially, but also some women) treated me differently. I got hit on way more when I was thin, but I always felt offended when anybody would try and pick me up for such a superficial reason. If you're a cute thin lady, someone will always stop to help you change a flat tire on the road side, but if you're fat, they'll drive right by while you're getting soaked in the rain and splashed by cars changing it yourself (exception - if you're pregnant).

We all make snap judgements about people based on appearance - it's a reflex. But we can stop ourselves and ask "how would I want to be treated" and make a conscious effort to treat both fat and thin people the way we would like to be treated.

I am still very fat, and I know some men treat me differently. But sometimes in a good way - I get chatted up by the quiet guys, because they're too intimidated by the "pretty" girls. I also seem to be allowed to flirt with my married male friends, because their wives don't see me as a threat...

And yes, you can tell the prejudiced people from the genuine friends more easily.. those who dismiss me because I'm fat soon find out their mistake when they get to know me.

forgive me. but i see neither of these as positive things. it's almost like you're happy that you're put on a back burner. who wants to be the chick quiet guys go for because they're intimidated by the 'pretty' girls??? there are plenty of guys out there that would love you as you are without having you be the 'default chick'

and as far as being able to flirt with married men...again. forgive me. but the operative word that stuck out to me was MARRIED. who wants to do that? that makes them creeps, their wives shallow and...well. never mind.