Psychological Hurdles

There are groups for anxiety and depression, its finding one with enough traction to stay active thats the trick. Try searching the groups section for things like mental health. Good luck. You are not alone.

I have depression too. Medication and therapy have really helped, and exercise really helps my mental state a lot. I just rejoined mfp, feel free to add me

GravisMetus wrote: »

I’m so happy some of you are speaking up. Hiding these issues we face is counter productive to the problem. And I’ve learned there is nothing to be ashamed of!

It's an unfortunate catch-22. If you're depressed, you need help, but the very nature of depression makes you ashamed and unable to talk about it so you don't get the help you need then you feel worse. I have had clinical depression and anxiety since childhood, I'm 43 now, and there were times during my treatment that I was still unable to make that next appointment or talk about new issues that came up. Fortunately, that's mostly passed and I am fairly evened out between a low dose of meds and regular lifting (with a little cardio mixed in). There are some off days where I feel like I'm working against the current, but they're not nearly as frequent as they used to be. I will always have body image issues though. I don't believe that's going anywhere, but with age I've come to accept a lot more.

It's a shame that so many of us suffer from this consuming illness, but certainly, it does help many of us to hear about others dealing with the same.

It's great you're reaching out to others. This app was wonderful for getting myself together, weight and fitness wise.

I definitely have battled with bouts of depression, anxiety, body image issues, and impostor syndrome fairly extensively. I've never been officially diagnosed with anything or seen a professional about mental health since elementary school, when my parents had me speak with the school psychologist about how hard I was being on myself about grades (at age 8). I was also mild-to-moderately overweight for the majority of my childhood, and that definitely had an effect on my self esteem as an adolescent and into adulthood.

Coincidentally, I'm also 29 and I'm easily in the best shape and look better now than at any point in my life. Still, I struggle with focusing on what I perceive to be huge flaws in my body and physique; both about areas I have control over attempting to change, and those I do not. I also continuously find myself internally harping on "why didn't you start lifting sooner? You idiot, you'd be so much better off it you'd started at [insert younger age] than waiting until 26" and the like.

The short list of things I commonly think about being not "enough":
- lean
- muscular
- tall
- handsome
- confident
- competent in social interactions of any kind
- competent in my job/should've picked a more lucrative career
- organized
- financially savvy
- thoughtful
- creative
- generally attractive

I've been happily married for 5 years, have a good group of close friends, and have no real interest in making more IRL, so I'm not sure why a number of those factors that drive others' perceptions and opinions bother me so much. Still, they fester. I'm flattered as often as I'm perplexed when I catch my wife leering at my arms, or when she tells me in proud disbelief how hot I've gotten. I've never been adept at taking compliments.

I've found the time I spend exercising, mostly lifting, to be one of the most effective escapes. The area in my basement with my bench/weights feels like a sanctuary most days. Though, it's still not a complete bastion from my negative thoughts; it's adjacent to other areas of the basement I desperately need to de-clutter, my lift numbers should be higher, etc. I work out alone so it's easy to become immersed in thought. I've tried music, podcasts, streaming shows, and silence and none of them make me immune to my thoughts wandering to anxiety and/or negativity-inducing places. Sports talk podcasts probably help me the most, keeping my attention focused on the superficial topics being discussed.

I can't claim to have any good advice beyond you're not alone in struggling within your own mind. I've found that knowing yourself better and identifying tendencies is at least half the battle to managing your thoughts.

Feel free to add me and good luck in your weight loss pursuits.

I also deal with major depression as well as anxiety. Exercise is so helpful in keeping my mental health manageable, but I have a hard time making that happen without the support of others. At the same time, the depression and anxiety cause a fair amount of avoidance and isolation, making it hard for me to get that support unless the other person gets it and encourage me/holds me accountable. Right now, I have a pretty great boxing gym that has helped on all fronts, and it's always helpful to see these posts Things are a little rougher than they've been in a while, and body image issues had been a relative non-issue in the past but seem to have crept in over the last couple of years.
@GravisMetus : I'm glad you are doing better, and thank you for starting this thread

There are a few things that have stuck with me recently. First and foremost my Every Day Art instructor who taught us to incorporate the practice of sitting meditation into our creative process always said "On the days you really don't want to sit on the cushion are the days you need it the most so just do it, there is nothing holding yourself back except yourself" As a testament to what she said on those days when the last thing I was to do is meditate but I do it anyway are always the most productive and calming and I get more out of it for sure.

I try to walk daily with no distractions (music, phone, etc.) and just take where I am at and all the things happening around me, stop and take notice and just marvel. Sometimes just seeing some wildlife or a particularly stunning sunrise or sunset centers me almost as much as meditation (or mindfulness). Exercise just helps, its an accomplishment, it clears my head, and it physically tires me out so I sleep better. I don't take my sleep for granted and try to keep a routine, I've found that way too much sleep makes me not want to engage with the world so I force myself to get up and get moving. Make your bed daily even if its just straightening out blankets its an accomplishment, it's a feather you can put in your cap everyday so even on the crap days you say to yourself "At least I made my bed today" it seems trivial but it works for me.

My rescue dogs are a huge part of my life and they always brighten my day. They are a constant reminder to keep things simple and they rely on me to take care of them, so it's worth it to do all these little things I listed above even if its just to make their lives happy and in turn it snaps me out of negative thoughts and emotions.

These are just some things I do but if you have a serious depression or anxiety definitely seek out help. Starting small with little things might give you the motivation to take a step in that direction. I hit a point in my life where I was in so much turmoil I figured I would just try things that weren't self destructive and really reduce my stress as much as possible. So far so good, I don't think I will ever be completely without depression and stress but its more manageable for me these days.

That all sounds too familiar

jgnatca wrote: »

The course that helped me most, psychologically, with weight loss is a course developed out of Stanford, now managed by the "Self Management Resource Centre". There's a resource book, "Living a Healthy Life with Chronic Conditions" that's very helpful.

The key was to remove the weight loss project from the realm of emotion and do simple troubleshooting techniques to gradually get better at weight loss over time.

https://www.selfmanagementresource.com/resources/program-materials

I like that. Remove the weight loss project from the realm of emotion. I'd like to ask you something. I threw all of my Befores in the bin and I'm happy about it. I tried the side by side for years and they never motivated me. I plastered photos of celebrities all over the house. No motivation. I could look right through myself and those photos, no longer seeing them. Just one big blur. The emotions stirred up were body shaming. Just look at what you've done to yourself with more discouragement or throwing the towel in. You don't want to look like that again with more name calling to myself.


I started to think about 'normal' people without any issues with weight. A good relationship with food. They're not motivated by Befores or Afters, in fact they don't take before and after belly/body selfies. They simply enjoy living in the moment. Present. If they take a photo with others it has no weight loss project associated with it whatsoever. Weight loss projects are not the theme song running in the background of their minds all the live long day.

Diets and gyms, restrictive eating protocols, befores and afters stir up all kinds of emotions with stress and competition and challenges and comparison. I stopped looking at instagram dieting stars that eat one bowl of food aday trying to convince others they really do eat. I have eyes and I can tell there's a whole lotta wool being pulled over their own eyes.
There's so much disordered eating being shoved down everyone's gullet as the pathway to healing. This is not a diet, you eat twigs, pinecones, dirt and old tennis shoes and call it a lifestyle change. Keep telling yourself this is not a diet.

I don't want to go out like that. So I started asking myself, WWND. What would non-dieter do.

They give themselves permission to do everything on their own terms. They set themselves free from food prison. They don't measure happiness by the size of their belly. They simply live without a weight loss project being the apex and pinnacle of their lives. I choose that. Thanks for listening. I think you've given me the words to frame what I've been working on.