Awful, horrible, miserable day.
I know I've said it a million times here already, but...as of Wednesday, my husband will have been gone a month. He's in Iraq. I talk to him everyday, he has email access so I can write him emails, but...
I am miserable. I had an absolute breakdown last night and again today. Usually I am fine and I get through my days with small pangs of loneliness and sadness here and there, but last night and today I am having a full blown breakdown.
I need him home. Why do things have to be this way? I need my husband more than the military does.
*huge sigh* :frown: :brokenheart:
I am miserable. I had an absolute breakdown last night and again today. Usually I am fine and I get through my days with small pangs of loneliness and sadness here and there, but last night and today I am having a full blown breakdown.
I need him home. Why do things have to be this way? I need my husband more than the military does.
*huge sigh* :frown: :brokenheart:
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Replies
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I know I've said it a million times here already, but...as of Wednesday, my husband will have been gone a month. He's in Iraq. I talk to him everyday, he has email access so I can write him emails, but...
I am miserable. I had an absolute breakdown last night and again today. Usually I am fine and I get through my days with small pangs of loneliness and sadness here and there, but last night and today I am having a full blown breakdown.
I need him home. Why do things have to be this way? I need my husband more than the military does.
*huge sigh* :frown: :brokenheart:0 -
I I need my husband more than the military does.
*huge sigh* :frown: :brokenheart:
is that really true? it may seem that way ..but...
think of the good things....
you can see and write and read and are in doors with running water...it could be worse and he is doing a service for all of us
hang in there0 -
He has been gone a month and only one total meltdown...you are doing great as far as I am concerned. My hubby retires in 6 months after 20 years in the Army, I have been with him for the past 10..so BTDT, let me tell you. Seriously, if you are up and about and working and working out and eating and sleeping...you are doing great. You are going to have meltdowns now and then, hello..your husband is gone, it would be abnormal for you to NOT have meltdowns. I know there are all kinds of things people say to do to make you feel better, but it sucks no matter what you do. They only thing that will fix the suckiness of it all is your man being home. So chin up girly girl..it takes a strong man to be in the Army...takes a stronger woman to back him up. He will be home soon, have a pity party with a few of your girlfriends,,,a few glasses of wine,,,and that is one more day closer to him being home. :flowerforyou:0
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Awwww!
This is all just a journey...the weight loss, the deployment. And meltdowns are a part of that. (I'd be more worried if you didn't melt down!)
You're strong! You're as strong as you need to be. Every day brings you one step closer.
I'm thinking of you and your husband, and so very grateful for both of your sacrifices.0 -
I can't even imagine what it would be like. I give credit to all the military families and thanks to all the military!!0
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You can do this, I know it's hard.0
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I agree with everything said by the previous posters! I too am a military "significant other." My fiance left on Jan 2 and we also have email contact daily. It is VERY hard being separated from the one person in the world who means everything to me.... but this is not the first time we've done it, and it won't be the last! In 2006/07 I was the one deployed! I was gone for 8 months... and it was tough, but we made it through. After all was said and done, it didn't seem like such a long time had passed. And this, too, will pass in time.
There are days where I wake up pitying myself for being lonely. But then I have to kick myself in the butt and thank my lucky stars that this is just temporary. He is not gone forever. In the meantime, I'm working to change my body and change my attitude so he comes home to a happier, healthier woman! I cry some nights because it sucks being in that big comfy bed all by myself. And some days I wonder what's the point of even getting out of bed? But he wouldn't want me to feel this miserable, and I don't want me to feel miserable.
If you know his estimated return date, you can make a paper chain with a link for every day he will be gone. At the end of the day, just before bed, break one link and throw it away. Another day down... another day closer to that happy reunion!
I wish you the best and I wish there was more we could do to make the time pass quicker. Thanks for being there for him. Your support matters to him more than you know. It's just as hard being the one over there as it is being the one over here waiting...0 -
I thank you for your tremendous sacrifice for our country and everyone in it.
I'm sorry it's not easier. My only advice is to lean on other military wives for their support.
Much love. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
Ccano, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time being without your husband. I know this is no consolation to you but I just want you to know how thankful I am for his service to our country. Hang in there and be strong. You're not alone in what you're going through. God bless you and your husband. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
Betty0 -
Praying for you! :flowerforyou:0
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I I need my husband more than the military does.
*huge sigh* :frown: :brokenheart:
is that really true? it may seem that way ..but...
think of the good things....
you can see and write and read and are in doors with running water...it could be worse and he is doing a service for all of us
hang in there
Yes, it really is true. I do need him more. I haven't encountered many people who like it when I say that, but I don't care how selfish I sound. I do need my husband more than they do.
Sometimes I feel like wearing a shirt everyday that says "DO NOT MESS WITH ME, MY HUSBAND IS DEPLOYED."0 -
He has been gone a month and only one total meltdown...you are doing great as far as I am concerned. My hubby retires in 6 months after 20 years in the Army, I have been with him for the past 10..so BTDT, let me tell you. Seriously, if you are up and about and working and working out and eating and sleeping...you are doing great. You are going to have meltdowns now and then, hello..your husband is gone, it would be abnormal for you to NOT have meltdowns. I know there are all kinds of things people say to do to make you feel better, but it sucks no matter what you do. They only thing that will fix the suckiness of it all is your man being home. So chin up girly girl..it takes a strong man to be in the Army...takes a stronger woman to back him up. He will be home soon, have a pity party with a few of your girlfriends,,,a few glasses of wine,,,and that is one more day closer to him being home. :flowerforyou:
20 years in the Army...:flowerforyou: My dad retired after 20 years in the USMC. Thank you for relating to me and not making me feel bad for my meltdown. Being a Marine brat, I knew what I was getting myself into when I married my Marine. I even knew he was deploying. But love doesn't always strike you at the most convenient times, does it? I have to say though, I am thrilled to be his wife. We have been married a month and a half now...yep, we got hitched 2 weeks before the deployment.
Today, just as I was in the midst of my meltdown, a bouquet of red roses (arranged like a bridal bouquet, which was just amazing since I haven't had my big wedding ceremony yet...we're planning it for next year) was delivered to my front door along with a teddy bear and small box of chocolates. I could hit him for the chocolate thing, but...right now, on this god awful day, I'm going to enjoy one delicious little piece of chocolate. I love him.0 -
How you deal with..."this" is your own choice.
My fiance has been deployed for 5 months to Iraq.
I am not going to lie and say it gets easier....cause it doesn't and sometimes it comes out of nowhere.
One thing I am learning is that I can't let "my issues" with his deployment affect his performance on the job. There have been times it has. I knew going in to this the price I would have to pay for the price he chose to pay by being a soldier.
However you deal, it's your own thing.
Someways are more productive then others though.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I agree with everything said by the previous posters! I too am a military "significant other." My fiance left on Jan 2 and we also have email contact daily. It is VERY hard being separated from the one person in the world who means everything to me.... but this is not the first time we've done it, and it won't be the last! In 2006/07 I was the one deployed! I was gone for 8 months... and it was tough, but we made it through. After all was said and done, it didn't seem like such a long time had passed. And this, too, will pass in time.
There are days where I wake up pitying myself for being lonely. But then I have to kick myself in the butt and thank my lucky stars that this is just temporary. He is not gone forever. In the meantime, I'm working to change my body and change my attitude so he comes home to a happier, healthier woman! I cry some nights because it sucks being in that big comfy bed all by myself. And some days I wonder what's the point of even getting out of bed? But he wouldn't want me to feel this miserable, and I don't want me to feel miserable.
If you know his estimated return date, you can make a paper chain with a link for every day he will be gone. At the end of the day, just before bed, break one link and throw it away. Another day down... another day closer to that happy reunion!
I wish you the best and I wish there was more we could do to make the time pass quicker. Thanks for being there for him. Your support matters to him more than you know. It's just as hard being the one over there as it is being the one over here waiting...
You are so right, one day down, one day closer. If I made a paper chain it would be unbelievably long since he is not due back until next January. He comes home on combat leave this summer, which I am absolutely beyond excited for. He'll be back either in June or August. Then we'll be halfway through this stupid year.
Thank god this will be the first, last, and only time we go through this. He gets out the year after he returns, so they won't be able to send him again before then. *huge sigh of relief*
When is your fiance due back?0 -
Thank you for relating to me and not making me feel bad for my meltdowns.
Nobody here is trying to make you feel bad :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: We just want to be here for you and support you in ways we can... I'm sorry if my comment or anyone else's comment seemed harsh... it's not meant to be! :flowerforyou: :explode:0 -
Thank you for relating to me and not making me feel bad for my meltdowns.Nobody here is trying to make you feel bad :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: We just want to be here for you and support you in ways we can... I'm sorry if my comment or anyone else's comment seemed harsh... it's not meant to be! :flowerforyou: :explode:
No no no, it wasn't you. Was I slightly irritated by Dave's response? Yes. But no, yours was very nice.0 -
Again, open forum.... you will get a plethora of responses....
Even the ones you don't like.
I hope you get to feeling more like yourself soon.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I agree with everything said by the previous posters! I too am a military "significant other." My fiance left on Jan 2 and we also have email contact daily. It is VERY hard being separated from the one person in the world who means everything to me.... but this is not the first time we've done it, and it won't be the last! In 2006/07 I was the one deployed! I was gone for 8 months... and it was tough, but we made it through. After all was said and done, it didn't seem like such a long time had passed. And this, too, will pass in time.
There are days where I wake up pitying myself for being lonely. But then I have to kick myself in the butt and thank my lucky stars that this is just temporary. He is not gone forever. In the meantime, I'm working to change my body and change my attitude so he comes home to a happier, healthier woman! I cry some nights because it sucks being in that big comfy bed all by myself. And some days I wonder what's the point of even getting out of bed? But he wouldn't want me to feel this miserable, and I don't want me to feel miserable.
If you know his estimated return date, you can make a paper chain with a link for every day he will be gone. At the end of the day, just before bed, break one link and throw it away. Another day down... another day closer to that happy reunion!
I wish you the best and I wish there was more we could do to make the time pass quicker. Thanks for being there for him. Your support matters to him more than you know. It's just as hard being the one over there as it is being the one over here waiting...
You are so right, one day down, one day closer. If I made a paper chain it would be unbelievably long since he is not due back until next January. He comes home on combat leave this summer, which I am absolutely beyond excited for. He'll be back either in June or August. Then we'll be halfway through this stupid year.
Thank god this will be the first, last, and only time we go through this. He gets out the year after he returns, so they won't be able to send him again before then. *huge sigh of relief*
When is your fiance due back?
I am afraid I got a better bargain... my sweetie is Air Force and his deployment is only 120 days... Lucky for me. We are getting married in June...
But he signed on for another four years and I am currently looking into the possibility of getting back in. So I'm sure there will be at least one more deployment... possibly more.
I know I can't quite relate to you in terms of how long you'll be separated... but I do hope you find strength on your good days and don't let your bad days get you down too much. :flowerforyou:0 -
Again, open forum.... you will get a plethora of responses....
Even the ones you don't like.
I hope you get to feeling more like yourself soon.
:flowerforyou:
And I responded to him with how I felt. Open forum.0 -
How you deal with..."this" is your own choice.
My fiance has been deployed for 5 months to Iraq.
I am not going to lie and say it gets easier....cause it doesn't and sometimes it comes out of nowhere.
One thing I am learning is that I can't let "my issues" with his deployment affect his performance on the job. There have been times it has. I knew going in to this the price I would have to pay for the price he chose to pay by being a soldier.
However you deal, it's your own thing.
Someways are more productive then others though.
:flowerforyou:
I am struggling with learning how to keep my sadness at bay when I talk to him. If I talk to him 7 days a week, I cry on the phone at least 3 of those days. That has been my biggest problem with that so far. And it's not like, sobbing and being completely over the top. I just get teary-eyed and choked up. I'm still trying to figure out how to put that in check when I talk to him, because I know he considers me his source of escape at the end of his long days. I have never been through this before, but I am trying. Very hard.0 -
I agree with everything said by the previous posters! I too am a military "significant other." My fiance left on Jan 2 and we also have email contact daily. It is VERY hard being separated from the one person in the world who means everything to me.... but this is not the first time we've done it, and it won't be the last! In 2006/07 I was the one deployed! I was gone for 8 months... and it was tough, but we made it through. After all was said and done, it didn't seem like such a long time had passed. And this, too, will pass in time.
There are days where I wake up pitying myself for being lonely. But then I have to kick myself in the butt and thank my lucky stars that this is just temporary. He is not gone forever. In the meantime, I'm working to change my body and change my attitude so he comes home to a happier, healthier woman! I cry some nights because it sucks being in that big comfy bed all by myself. And some days I wonder what's the point of even getting out of bed? But he wouldn't want me to feel this miserable, and I don't want me to feel miserable.
If you know his estimated return date, you can make a paper chain with a link for every day he will be gone. At the end of the day, just before bed, break one link and throw it away. Another day down... another day closer to that happy reunion!
I wish you the best and I wish there was more we could do to make the time pass quicker. Thanks for being there for him. Your support matters to him more than you know. It's just as hard being the one over there as it is being the one over here waiting...
You are so right, one day down, one day closer. If I made a paper chain it would be unbelievably long since he is not due back until next January. He comes home on combat leave this summer, which I am absolutely beyond excited for. He'll be back either in June or August. Then we'll be halfway through this stupid year.
Thank god this will be the first, last, and only time we go through this. He gets out the year after he returns, so they won't be able to send him again before then. *huge sigh of relief*
When is your fiance due back?
I am afraid I got a better bargain... my sweetie is Air Force and his deployment is only 120 days... Lucky for me. We are getting married in June...
But he signed on for another four years and I am currently looking into the possibility of getting back in. So I'm sure there will be at least one more deployment... possibly more.
I know I can't quite relate to you in terms of how long you'll be separated... but I do hope you find strength on your good days and don't let your bad days get you down too much. :flowerforyou:
June! Ahh, you must be excited. Have you gotten most of your planning done or are you still in the process? (Wedding talk always makes me happier, lol).
120 days, so then around this time next month you will be halfway through your separation. I am crossing my fingers that if there must be deployments, that they are short for you and your FH.0 -
I will keep you and your hubby in my prayers. Hang in there.0
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You're entitled to how you feel. Don't feel bad about how you feel. Your feelings are your own and they are valid. You miss him terribly that is all. I think people in your life know you're hurting and they feel bad you're hurting and hope you're hurting less is all. They wish you weren't going thru as much pain. Feel what you feel and try your best to take very good care of yourself.
In terms of what you do, what other things are you doing to take good care of yourself?
Besides eating right and exercising?
How about join a club, any club, not just a gym but a club, or a class, where you expand your social interest, your social network? Whether it is for golf, cooking, public speaking, badminton, scrapbooking, hospital volunteering, volleyball, baseball, knitting,................whatever it is to spend more time with others in a social setting so that you get the additional support you need and at the same time, spend additional time to not think about your loved one overseas too much. Yes, think about him yet not think about him. Focus on other things too so that the amount you think about him is moderated. The more you can focus on yourself, the healthier you'd feel.
Think about it in reverse. Imagine him in Iraq and he could not focus on his job because he can't stop thinking about you nonstop and missing you every minute of every day. He would not be as good as he could be at his job if he could not focus. He has to think about you at appropriate times of the day during his off duty hours not all hours of the day.
And that is what you have to do too. You have to miss him and think of him in moderation. I know it is not easy. It is not human to ask of you to do that. You miss him and you worry about him all day long.
But think of the alternative, of not being able to not think about him. And you worry about him day and night thus, affecting your physical and emotional health. I'm sure he would not want you to suffer this way.
You have to. You absolutely have to take good care of yourself. Your health physically and especially emotionally.
This is not selfish, this is taking good care of yourself. The more time you spend doing other activities that occupy your mind and time, the more rounded you are, the more you'd be able to handle the stress of having him away.
He's serving his country, fulfilling his duty of what he signed up to do. Yet, he would not be happy doing what he's doing knowing you're not doing ok without him. The best thing you could do is to take extra extra good care of yourself so that you can withstand the stress, the loneliness of it all. Feel what you feel. You are entitled. It is valid. Yet, have the courage and initiative to live a full life of your own. A full, well rounded, robust full life of your own. Don't put your life on hold. You too, are fighting your own challenge in our own world, your own life and that is to live a full life. A full, rewarding, worthwhile life.
Your existence matter.
Wishing you the best. Wishing you strength, resilience, vigor and peace of mind.
Take good care of yourself.
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I I need my husband more than the military does.
*huge sigh* :frown: :brokenheart:
is that really true? it may seem that way ..but...
think of the good things....
you can see and write and read and are in doors with running water...it could be worse and he is doing a service for all of us
hang in there
Yes, it really is true. I do need him more. I haven't encountered many people who like it when I say that, but I don't care how selfish I sound. I do need my husband more than they do.
Sometimes I feel like wearing a shirt everyday that says "DO NOT MESS WITH ME, MY HUSBAND IS DEPLOYED."
Don't worry- it makes perfect sense to me. They have soldiers in multitudes; you only have the one husband. You have so much strength to endure this time apart- not only is he a credit to your nation, you are too. And you're allowed to be sad- like others have said, it's only natural and it'd be worrying otherwise.0 -
He has been gone a month and only one total meltdown...you are doing great as far as I am concerned. My hubby retires in 6 months after 20 years in the Army, I have been with him for the past 10..so BTDT, let me tell you. Seriously, if you are up and about and working and working out and eating and sleeping...you are doing great. You are going to have meltdowns now and then, hello..your husband is gone, it would be abnormal for you to NOT have meltdowns. I know there are all kinds of things people say to do to make you feel better, but it sucks no matter what you do. They only thing that will fix the suckiness of it all is your man being home. So chin up girly girl..it takes a strong man to be in the Army...takes a stronger woman to back him up. He will be home soon, have a pity party with a few of your girlfriends,,,a few glasses of wine,,,and that is one more day closer to him being home. :flowerforyou:
But love doesn't always strike you at the most convenient times, does it? I have to say though, I am thrilled to be his wife. We have been married a month and a half now...yep, we got hitched 2 weeks before the deployment.
No one should make you feel bad for going through a truckload of emotions right now, remember most people actually are trying to help without really and truly knowing the pain you are feeling, so its kindness in its own misdirected somewhat insensitive form...And no, love isin't convenient....my husband left for training 2 weeks after we got married, no honeymoon. We went on our honeymoon on our 3rd anniversary. Left for deployement 2 months after my son was born, it was just me and baby for a while..I have moved 9 times in 10 years....And I wouldn't trade a day of it for an accountant or mechanic or someone who gets the priveledge of coming home to their family every day. At the end of all of this, you will be one badass chick able to take on just about anything anywhere. So take a deep breath (and a glass or two of wine, to hell with the calories), it will be ok.0 -
I know I've said it a million times here already, but...as of Wednesday, my husband will have been gone a month. He's in Iraq. I talk to him everyday, he has email access so I can write him emails, but...
I am miserable. I had an absolute breakdown last night and again today. Usually I am fine and I get through my days with small pangs of loneliness and sadness here and there, but last night and today I am having a full blown breakdown.
I need him home. Why do things have to be this way? I need my husband more than the military does.
*huge sigh* :frown: :brokenheart:
Its seems hard now but it will get easier trust me. Mine is in the army and we do 12-15 month tours to Iraq (He has done 3 so far)- he actually just came home from his 15 month tour in July and will be leaving this November for another year this time to Afgahnistan- My husband is gone more than he is home and its sad to say that you will end up getting used to it if that makes sense. Have him set up his instant messenger with yahoo and you get one too its a great easy way to keep in touch send him a webcam and you get one as well. Things in Iraq are alot easier now then they were back in 2003 ALOT MORE LUXURIES-
Best advice for you is to stay busy. Nobody said being a military wife is easy- especially when they deploy. You are married but in a sense you are single because you are ALWAYS ALONE. Find hobbies, work, workout, ect..0 -
I know I've said it a million times here already, but...as of Wednesday, my husband will have been gone a month. He's in Iraq. I talk to him everyday, he has email access so I can write him emails, but...
I am miserable. I had an absolute breakdown last night and again today. Usually I am fine and I get through my days with small pangs of loneliness and sadness here and there, but last night and today I am having a full blown breakdown.
I need him home. Why do things have to be this way? I need my husband more than the military does.
*huge sigh* :frown: :brokenheart:
Its seems hard now but it will get easier trust me. Mine is in the army and we do 12-15 month tours to Iraq (He has done 3 so far)- he actually just came home from his 15 month tour in July and will be leaving this November for another year this time to Afgahnistan- My husband is gone more than he is home and its sad to say that you will end up getting used to it if that makes sense. Have him set up his instant messenger with yahoo and you get one too its a great easy way to keep in touch send him a webcam and you get one as well. Things in Iraq are alot easier now then they were back in 2003 ALOT MORE LUXURIES-
Best advice for you is to stay busy. Nobody said being a military wife is easy- especially when they deploy. You are married but in a sense you are single because you are ALWAYS ALONE. Find hobbies, work, workout, ect..
Luckily I will not have to get used to it because he's getting out of the Marine Corps a year after he comes home. They won't be sending him again. Phew.0 -
You must be a very strong person to be able to have only ONE meltdown after a month with your guy in the military! My fiance and I used to be long-distance and only saw eachother once every six months, but it was only because we lived apart, not because of the military. I broke down a lot more than you have and your situation I'm sure is much more stressful!
I respect anyone who can be strong enough to handle having a significant other in the military!0 -
I know I've said it a million times here already, but...as of Wednesday, my husband will have been gone a month. He's in Iraq. I talk to him everyday, he has email access so I can write him emails, but...
I am miserable. I had an absolute breakdown last night and again today. Usually I am fine and I get through my days with small pangs of loneliness and sadness here and there, but last night and today I am having a full blown breakdown.
I need him home. Why do things have to be this way? I need my husband more than the military does.
*huge sigh* :frown: :brokenheart:
Its seems hard now but it will get easier trust me. Mine is in the army and we do 12-15 month tours to Iraq (He has done 3 so far)- he actually just came home from his 15 month tour in July and will be leaving this November for another year this time to Afgahnistan- My husband is gone more than he is home and its sad to say that you will end up getting used to it if that makes sense. Have him set up his instant messenger with yahoo and you get one too its a great easy way to keep in touch send him a webcam and you get one as well. Things in Iraq are alot easier now then they were back in 2003 ALOT MORE LUXURIES-
Best advice for you is to stay busy. Nobody said being a military wife is easy- especially when they deploy. You are married but in a sense you are single because you are ALWAYS ALONE. Find hobbies, work, workout, ect..
Luckily I will not have to get used to it because he's getting out of the Marine Corps a year after he comes home. They won't be sending him again. Phew.
Well thats good that you only have to do this once. I have been with my husband long before the military came in the picture Hell Im the one that talked him into joining So we knew what to expect.0 -
You must be a very strong person to be able to have only ONE meltdown after a month with your guy in the military! My fiance and I used to be long-distance and only saw eachother once every six months, but it was only because we lived apart, not because of the military. I broke down a lot more than you have and your situation I'm sure is much more stressful!
I respect anyone who can be strong enough to handle having a significant other in the military!
Long distance relationships are crazy, period! It's a struggle no matter the circumstances, so I know you feel my pain.
I am doing much better now. Part of my problem was that I had visited the wife of someone my hubby works with (who is also deployed), and she told me all these stories and screwed with my head. Stories about cheating that I really didn't want or need to hear. My husband is a good, trustworthy man and I know this. But hanging out with her totally broke me down. It was after seeing her that I came home and broke down completely. But my husband has put me at ease and I am back to my normal self. Thank goodness.
This morning I woke up to an email from him that said "If marriage wasn't a one time thing, I'd ask you to marry me all over again."
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