Is anyone else scared of hitting your goal weight?
chunkytfg
Posts: 339 Member
I was chatting with someone yesterday about how far i've come with my weight loss(45+ kg) and that I had a little bit to go still (8 kg) and that I am really struggling with the last bit.
I'm back on the downward trend at the moment but every time I feel I can see the light at the end of the tunnel I self sabotage myself which leads to a feeling of 'cant be bothered' and before I know it i'm back up 5kg and I can't see the light anymore.
It hit me as we were talking that i'm actually quite scared of reaching my goal. I know the MFP is a way of life and something I will always have to do but I really don't know how i'm going to manage allowing myself to eat such a lot more food!
The idea of eating 3000 calories a day(no idea if thats the actual number but it'll do for the purpose of this thread) and the doors that would open back up in terms of the 'unhealthy' foods i currently try and avoid makes me think I will struggle with controlling myself. A bit like telling an alcoholic they can have 1 drink a day but nothing more!
Has anyone else gone through this 'fear' and if so what did you do to overcome it?
I'm back on the downward trend at the moment but every time I feel I can see the light at the end of the tunnel I self sabotage myself which leads to a feeling of 'cant be bothered' and before I know it i'm back up 5kg and I can't see the light anymore.
It hit me as we were talking that i'm actually quite scared of reaching my goal. I know the MFP is a way of life and something I will always have to do but I really don't know how i'm going to manage allowing myself to eat such a lot more food!
The idea of eating 3000 calories a day(no idea if thats the actual number but it'll do for the purpose of this thread) and the doors that would open back up in terms of the 'unhealthy' foods i currently try and avoid makes me think I will struggle with controlling myself. A bit like telling an alcoholic they can have 1 drink a day but nothing more!
Has anyone else gone through this 'fear' and if so what did you do to overcome it?
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Replies
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EMBRACE IT0
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Its actually not THAT much more food. What's you loss per week like? if its 1lb then thats 500 cals extra a day. It might seem like a lot but at maintenance after a while you'll wish you could have more - I know I do! Its also why regain happens, people get to goal and loosen up logging or watching what they eat and slowly weight creep can happen.
I never think of foods being unhealthy. I think of some being very calorie dense so I need to keep an eye on the quantity I have of those.
I love maintenance, never did experience this fear you are talking about - but then I'm an old hand at it, 5 years this month
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When you've been losing weight for a while it becomes familiar and comfortable, whereas the prospect of maintaining is new and unknown, therefore scary. I felt this too, so took steps to mitigate the fear. This included stepping up my calories gradually as I approached goal weight - this helps you get used to eating a little more at a time, so it's not a huge, overwhelming jump up. I also planned ahead and picked out meals and snacks to add up to the new calorie count which helped me to feel in control and less likely to go eat a bunch of junk just to get the calories in. It can also help to shift your focus onto new goals - maybe something exercise-based? So you still have a sense of purpose and drive to keep you on track. It does take time and it's difficult to switch from a 'losing' to a 'maintaining' mindset. Take you time, ease into it and read the stickies in the maintaining weight section to help get an idea of what others do to stay on focussed and on track. Good luck with the last 8kg:)7
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this is why diet breaks are useful tools along the weight loss journey to help people learn that 'maintenance' is not 'go back to over eating'. its still tracking calories, working out (if that's a thing you do) and being mindful of your diet.10
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A suggestion I have to help you reach your goal (other than a diet break which has a lot of merits) is to work out what your maintenance calories will be at your goal weight and over the coming month or so slowly increase your calories to that. Once you reach your goal you will already be eating at maintenance. It will be much slower getting to goal than eating at your current deficit but might be a way of overcoming your fear.2
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I was really worried about it and 4 months later still not completely comfortable. Eating at a deficit was easier in some ways as long as I was averaging a deficit, i kept losing weight. It didn't matter if one week my total deficit was 3000 and the next week it was 1500; I lost weight both weeks. Once I got to maintenance, it mattered. I still kept a small deficit to start with and I lowered my range so the top end is still 4 pounds below goal (my goal was an upper limit anyway). I gave myself a little freedom to enjoy a couple of events and shot back toward the top of the range. So I do little mini adjustments where I have to go back into weight loss made and I do have to ignore the urge to start tomorrow and allow myself one more day of eating heavier. I am going through one right now and got the scary binge urge stronger than I have in a long time. There is no magic secret; I just have to rely on the same discipline that got me here to keep me here.4
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Last week I hit my goal of losing 35 pounds, now at 190. I was stuck at 202 for a few weeks before I read entirely too many articles on KETO. That kick started my body to drop the remaining pounds.
I feel/felt so good whilst eating that way that it is now a lifestyle change and not a diet. I, too was concerned how I would do maintenance once my goal was reached but now I am actually looking forward to this new chapter
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I'm back at 252. Twice before I've got down to 200/210 from around the 250 mark and thought 'right I've lost the weight I don't need MFP anymore.' We'll here I am again 3rd time lucky and I intend to count once I'm at maintenance this time.3
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My fear of reaching goal is not so much about maintenance, but about other things I'll need to do -- like get a face lift for my newly acquired turkey neck.2
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I have been in maintenance since Christmas and still a little nervous. Carefully and slowly upped my calorie intake to 2000C and that seems fine but am tracking everything as I don't want to gain it back. I'm sure it will get a little easier over time (or so I hope).0
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I only struggled with the last few lbs because I was happier and healthier. It was easier to see how important it was to skip the extra calories when I was overweight and sick, the closer I got to my goal, the harder it got because my reasons for losing weight were largely gone.
No idea why you would be scared about eating more when you've just said that you're struggling to lose the last of the weight1 -
I know how you feel - I began examining my sabotaging behaviors this morning - good luck 
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Yes, it's intimidating, because for me at least, I've gotten comfortable with a weight and a routine and a pattern.0
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I am not really scared. I took 3 diet breaks along the way and I think that was key for me.
I am trying to get rid of my last stubborn 2-3 lbs and can't wait to try this maintenance business.
I like the idea of more calories and wiggle room.
Best of luck, OP!3 -
Confession: I'm stalking this thread because no, I don't understand this at all. To me, this would be like running a marathon and stopping at mile 25. That finish line, man...you deserve to cross it!!! Maintenance is really hard, but getting to goal is a major high!!6
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I went through the same thing. I never did get to my original goal weight but when I finally decided to move to maintenance I found that my calories hardly changed. There are some things that went through my brain at the time. In the beginning I had sort of expected all the problems in my life would disappear when I lost weight. Then you realize that they don't but that you have alot more energy to deal with them. My lifestyle has changed and some of my friends don't like that. I have NO desire to go back to the way things were. Yes things are better but not perfect, lol. Take your time. You will likely see very little change in your eating once you get to goal but your health will improve and over time your self confidence will too. It's really nice to be normal.7
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I am also nervous about it.. that's why I haven't really gotten to it yet. My goal was 125lb, and I bounce between 123-125lb now.. I haven't fully upped my calories to maintenance yet, I'm getting there slowly, but I'm so worried of gaining. I'm only about 200cal off from my maintenance number, but I can't get myself to add those in every day.2
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It sounds like your fear is tied a lot to the fact that you are avoiding certain foods and do not trust your ability to control yourself and keep "avoiding" them when you get "more" cals.
So, why are you avoiding any foods? You are more likely to have trouble if you do that. Start integrating those foods into your daily calorie allowance so you stop giving them mystical power over yourself.
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I totally understand what you are saying...There are so many things I have done in my life that when they near completion I start to slow down or backtrack or make excuses. For me, I get into a routine and it's unnerving knowing that I don't know what will happen once I achieve the goal. I love a plan and routine.
May I suggest (as it is what I'm planning to do when I reach that point) that you start integrating one day a week where you eat at maintenance. Doing this gets you used to what types of foods will work for your macros, weekly goals etc. Then as you get closer, go to two days and so on. This is also a good way to ease your calories back up over time so your body doesn't fluctuate so much while you transition from diet calories to maintenance calories.
If anyone is interested, I also plan to reverse diet my calories up as high as I can from that point on. 😄 man I love a plan. 🤓4 -
This is a really common feeling. You’ve spent a period of time learning a particular set of skills relating to eating and activity, and now you have to keep using those skills, yet change your mindset.
When losing weight, the mindset is cutting calories wherever possible, and it’s okay if you’re a little under your calorie goal. In maintenance, you need to eat your calories or else you will continue losing. But after spending so long with the calorie cutting mindset, it’s hard to change.
I spent 2.5 years losing 100 pounds and have been in maintenance for almost a year. It’s still hard to shake the calorie cutting mindset. In maintenance, you ultimately wind up developing a new routine, but you still need those skills you learned in order to not gain outside your maintenance range.
I would not recommend jumping to your maintenance calorie level all at once. That caused me weight fluctuations that messed with my mind, even though I expected some temporary gain from water/undigested food. Instead, many people “reverse diet” by gradually adding calories until they are no longer losing. I think this is a good way to go.3 -
Trust me, the “project” does not end when you hit your goal. Really, that’s just the beginning.2
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How large is your deficit now? With only 8 left to go you should target 250 deficit for 0.5 lb loss per week . Going into Maintenance shouldn't be a huge change. I was losing so slowly at the end I hardly got anything extra in maintenance,.
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Yes, I got nervous as I got closer to my original goal weight of 169. So I switched to losing 0.5 lbs a week and refocused on building muscle & my fitness.
I think I still held out hope as I got thinner that my body would be “perfect.” It’s easy to imagine this. I also realized I’d been dieting a LONG time... time to give my body a bit of a break.
The exercise increase helped as did more nutrition & I shifted my mindset to how great I feel/felt physically. Since then have lost 3-5lbs slowly. Basically, I’m creeping towards my revised goal weight & giving myself a ton of time to do this. “It’s not a race.” Is one of the things I’ve told myself over the past 2.5 years.
And yes, we don’t get back a bunch of calories in maintenance, but we do with exercise!!!!0 -
One thing that helped me was to gradually add back calories to slow weight loss as goal got close. If I added 100 daily calories every week or so, I was more likely to spend them on small pleasurable but nutritious tweaks to the way I was already eating. If I'd added back 500 or so calories in one big block, it would've been more of a temptation to some big ridiculous low-nutrient food every day.
That said, there really aren't "unhealthy foods" (well, maybe trans fats
), there are only unhealthy overall ways of eating. If you get the nutrients you need, and still have calories left to spend, there's nothing wrong with having something less nutrient dense but really tasty or satisfying. You don't get extra credit for getting excess nutrition. 4 -
Thanks for all your input. Really useful to see that i'm not totally alone.
I do understand that it never really stops when I hit goal its just this current lifestyle i'm in now started around 7 years ago when I hit ~350lb and i've been doing it so long I don't really know any different. Before that my life is much like everyone else who's been fat there entire life. WW, SW, Herbalife, Atkins etc etc, tried them all. i'm 37yo now and for probably the past 20+ years i've either been overweight and unwilling to do anything about it or overweight and trying to do something about it. I don't know anything different and thats scary!
MFP works and I get that there are not 'unhealthy' foods as I put it, but with my lack of self control to only eat 1 of something and my need to hide from loved ones what I have eaten, I can't bring myself to leave an open packet around of anything so have a habit of 99% of the time eating the whole thing such as multi packs of doughnuts, cookies etc. So I find it easier to just avoid them in the first place. My GF and i both do MFP and she lives on 1400 cals a day with no snacking accounted for so it's really easy to eat the same as her and then I make up 'snack packs' to eat throughout the day to account for my extra calories which works out around 1800-2000 a day.
Hitting goal and then needing to up my intake to mtce levels just seems like a huge amount of snacking if the meals remain the same and thats where the 'fear' comes from. I know I could eat larger portions or add something she doesn't eat to it to up the cals and thats what will probably happen I just worry about the idea of doing it.2 -
The difference between my loss and maintenance calories at 0.5lb a week isn't even that large. Are you sure yours is? My last five pounds I had done even slower as I refused to go down to 1300 something cals - I set to maintenance and just tried to leave 1-200 cals a day on the table, so less than 0.25lb per week. Totally doable and no big adjustment at the end.0
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