Is anyone else scared of hitting your goal weight?
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chunkytfg
Posts: 339 Member
I was chatting with someone yesterday about how far i've come with my weight loss(45+ kg) and that I had a little bit to go still (8 kg) and that I am really struggling with the last bit.
I'm back on the downward trend at the moment but every time I feel I can see the light at the end of the tunnel I self sabotage myself which leads to a feeling of 'cant be bothered' and before I know it i'm back up 5kg and I can't see the light anymore.
It hit me as we were talking that i'm actually quite scared of reaching my goal. I know the MFP is a way of life and something I will always have to do but I really don't know how i'm going to manage allowing myself to eat such a lot more food!
The idea of eating 3000 calories a day(no idea if thats the actual number but it'll do for the purpose of this thread) and the doors that would open back up in terms of the 'unhealthy' foods i currently try and avoid makes me think I will struggle with controlling myself. A bit like telling an alcoholic they can have 1 drink a day but nothing more!
Has anyone else gone through this 'fear' and if so what did you do to overcome it?
I'm back on the downward trend at the moment but every time I feel I can see the light at the end of the tunnel I self sabotage myself which leads to a feeling of 'cant be bothered' and before I know it i'm back up 5kg and I can't see the light anymore.
It hit me as we were talking that i'm actually quite scared of reaching my goal. I know the MFP is a way of life and something I will always have to do but I really don't know how i'm going to manage allowing myself to eat such a lot more food!
The idea of eating 3000 calories a day(no idea if thats the actual number but it'll do for the purpose of this thread) and the doors that would open back up in terms of the 'unhealthy' foods i currently try and avoid makes me think I will struggle with controlling myself. A bit like telling an alcoholic they can have 1 drink a day but nothing more!
Has anyone else gone through this 'fear' and if so what did you do to overcome it?
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Replies
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EMBRACE IT0
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Its actually not THAT much more food. What's you loss per week like? if its 1lb then thats 500 cals extra a day. It might seem like a lot but at maintenance after a while you'll wish you could have more - I know I do! Its also why regain happens, people get to goal and loosen up logging or watching what they eat and slowly weight creep can happen.
I never think of foods being unhealthy. I think of some being very calorie dense so I need to keep an eye on the quantity I have of those.
I love maintenance, never did experience this fear you are talking about - but then I'm an old hand at it, 5 years this month10 -
When you've been losing weight for a while it becomes familiar and comfortable, whereas the prospect of maintaining is new and unknown, therefore scary. I felt this too, so took steps to mitigate the fear. This included stepping up my calories gradually as I approached goal weight - this helps you get used to eating a little more at a time, so it's not a huge, overwhelming jump up. I also planned ahead and picked out meals and snacks to add up to the new calorie count which helped me to feel in control and less likely to go eat a bunch of junk just to get the calories in. It can also help to shift your focus onto new goals - maybe something exercise-based? So you still have a sense of purpose and drive to keep you on track. It does take time and it's difficult to switch from a 'losing' to a 'maintaining' mindset. Take you time, ease into it and read the stickies in the maintaining weight section to help get an idea of what others do to stay on focussed and on track. Good luck with the last 8kg:)7
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this is why diet breaks are useful tools along the weight loss journey to help people learn that 'maintenance' is not 'go back to over eating'. its still tracking calories, working out (if that's a thing you do) and being mindful of your diet.10
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A suggestion I have to help you reach your goal (other than a diet break which has a lot of merits) is to work out what your maintenance calories will be at your goal weight and over the coming month or so slowly increase your calories to that. Once you reach your goal you will already be eating at maintenance. It will be much slower getting to goal than eating at your current deficit but might be a way of overcoming your fear.2
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I was really worried about it and 4 months later still not completely comfortable. Eating at a deficit was easier in some ways as long as I was averaging a deficit, i kept losing weight. It didn't matter if one week my total deficit was 3000 and the next week it was 1500; I lost weight both weeks. Once I got to maintenance, it mattered. I still kept a small deficit to start with and I lowered my range so the top end is still 4 pounds below goal (my goal was an upper limit anyway). I gave myself a little freedom to enjoy a couple of events and shot back toward the top of the range. So I do little mini adjustments where I have to go back into weight loss made and I do have to ignore the urge to start tomorrow and allow myself one more day of eating heavier. I am going through one right now and got the scary binge urge stronger than I have in a long time. There is no magic secret; I just have to rely on the same discipline that got me here to keep me here.4
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Last week I hit my goal of losing 35 pounds, now at 190. I was stuck at 202 for a few weeks before I read entirely too many articles on KETO. That kick started my body to drop the remaining pounds.
I feel/felt so good whilst eating that way that it is now a lifestyle change and not a diet. I, too was concerned how I would do maintenance once my goal was reached but now I am actually looking forward to this new chapter
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I'm back at 252. Twice before I've got down to 200/210 from around the 250 mark and thought 'right I've lost the weight I don't need MFP anymore.' We'll here I am again 3rd time lucky and I intend to count once I'm at maintenance this time.3
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My fear of reaching goal is not so much about maintenance, but about other things I'll need to do -- like get a face lift for my newly acquired turkey neck.2
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I have been in maintenance since Christmas and still a little nervous. Carefully and slowly upped my calorie intake to 2000C and that seems fine but am tracking everything as I don't want to gain it back. I'm sure it will get a little easier over time (or so I hope).0
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I only struggled with the last few lbs because I was happier and healthier. It was easier to see how important it was to skip the extra calories when I was overweight and sick, the closer I got to my goal, the harder it got because my reasons for losing weight were largely gone.
No idea why you would be scared about eating more when you've just said that you're struggling to lose the last of the weight1 -
I know how you feel - I began examining my sabotaging behaviors this morning - good luck1
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Yes, it's intimidating, because for me at least, I've gotten comfortable with a weight and a routine and a pattern.0
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I am not really scared. I took 3 diet breaks along the way and I think that was key for me.
I am trying to get rid of my last stubborn 2-3 lbs and can't wait to try this maintenance business.
I like the idea of more calories and wiggle room.
Best of luck, OP!3 -
Confession: I'm stalking this thread because no, I don't understand this at all. To me, this would be like running a marathon and stopping at mile 25. That finish line, man...you deserve to cross it!!! Maintenance is really hard, but getting to goal is a major high!!6
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I went through the same thing. I never did get to my original goal weight but when I finally decided to move to maintenance I found that my calories hardly changed. There are some things that went through my brain at the time. In the beginning I had sort of expected all the problems in my life would disappear when I lost weight. Then you realize that they don't but that you have alot more energy to deal with them. My lifestyle has changed and some of my friends don't like that. I have NO desire to go back to the way things were. Yes things are better but not perfect, lol. Take your time. You will likely see very little change in your eating once you get to goal but your health will improve and over time your self confidence will too. It's really nice to be normal.7
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I am also nervous about it.. that's why I haven't really gotten to it yet. My goal was 125lb, and I bounce between 123-125lb now.. I haven't fully upped my calories to maintenance yet, I'm getting there slowly, but I'm so worried of gaining. I'm only about 200cal off from my maintenance number, but I can't get myself to add those in every day.2
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It sounds like your fear is tied a lot to the fact that you are avoiding certain foods and do not trust your ability to control yourself and keep "avoiding" them when you get "more" cals.
So, why are you avoiding any foods? You are more likely to have trouble if you do that. Start integrating those foods into your daily calorie allowance so you stop giving them mystical power over yourself.
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I totally understand what you are saying...There are so many things I have done in my life that when they near completion I start to slow down or backtrack or make excuses. For me, I get into a routine and it's unnerving knowing that I don't know what will happen once I achieve the goal. I love a plan and routine.
May I suggest (as it is what I'm planning to do when I reach that point) that you start integrating one day a week where you eat at maintenance. Doing this gets you used to what types of foods will work for your macros, weekly goals etc. Then as you get closer, go to two days and so on. This is also a good way to ease your calories back up over time so your body doesn't fluctuate so much while you transition from diet calories to maintenance calories.
If anyone is interested, I also plan to reverse diet my calories up as high as I can from that point on. 😄 man I love a plan. 🤓4 -
This is a really common feeling. You’ve spent a period of time learning a particular set of skills relating to eating and activity, and now you have to keep using those skills, yet change your mindset.
When losing weight, the mindset is cutting calories wherever possible, and it’s okay if you’re a little under your calorie goal. In maintenance, you need to eat your calories or else you will continue losing. But after spending so long with the calorie cutting mindset, it’s hard to change.
I spent 2.5 years losing 100 pounds and have been in maintenance for almost a year. It’s still hard to shake the calorie cutting mindset. In maintenance, you ultimately wind up developing a new routine, but you still need those skills you learned in order to not gain outside your maintenance range.
I would not recommend jumping to your maintenance calorie level all at once. That caused me weight fluctuations that messed with my mind, even though I expected some temporary gain from water/undigested food. Instead, many people “reverse diet” by gradually adding calories until they are no longer losing. I think this is a good way to go.3
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