Anyone else have friends who suck?

2VORNT2V wrote: »

caco_ethes wrote: »

2VORNT2V wrote: »

My friends don't suck, if one of them did I'd wife them up

Uh huh, don’t velociraptors have cloacas?

I'm in to claw play

You’re adorable

Not since my FWB days...unfortunately.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm 39 single & have 4 friends & all single (3 are 39) too. 3(girls) of them have some sort of anxiety problems, they're always bailing on me. I'm lucky if I can get a chance to have an afternoon coffee with them on a Sunday afternoon if they don't get a panic attack. The other feels like he only wants to catchup when a blockbuster movie is out (so not too much catch up there.
I found that going to the gym has helped me find new friends. Mind you it has been a slow process (about 2 years). I've slowly gotten to know these people found out we're all there with similar goals. We've finally gone on some charity events a couple of dinners and planning on going on some fun runs.
Do you have any interests or hobbies or sports? Maybe by attending cooking/ language classes or crafts or even the gym for example, you might come across people with the same interests (well I at least you're both there doing the same activity ) & hopefully make new friends.

I feel your pain, it can get pretty lonely flying solo.

Just put less effort into the planning and let them do it you set yourself up for failure if you try with flakes

I haven't had friends in years. So yes they suck

Friends? What’s that?

I'm 41 and have a good core group of close girlfriends but I realize not everyone is lucky enough to have that. I will say it wasn't always so great. I found that my mid 20s through early 30s were a harder to time to maintain friendships as so many moved around for jobs, had babies/young kids, etc. I was always married with no kids and a career, but a lot of my friends were SAHMs and didn't get a lot of opportunities to take a night out so their friend time was mainly spent with fellow SAHMs. Since mid 30s it has seemed like most people had a calmer life overall with older kids and a little more time and money to go out and do things (nothing lavish like big trips, I just mean coffee anytime or the occasional concert, dinner, play, paint night, winery, etc).

I would highly suggest trying out some new hobby/class/group to meet people. I know it may sound weird but even meeting people through mutual acquaintances on sites like facebook, Yelp, etc, can turn into new friendships. While my core group is mainly women who have known each other since our teens or college age, we have "taken on" several newer friends in the last 4-5 years (usually that one of us met through work or social media) and they fit in perfectly and add a lot to our get togethers. I think by late 30s into early 40s most of us are a lot more accepting of newcomers as long as they're "our type" and by that I mainly mean similar interests and politics...not some strict mean girls crap or anything. We are a wide range of women.

EDITED TO ADD: I would absolutely write off people who flake. I can still have the occasional catch up conversation or maybe coffee one on one with a friend who is flaky but I'm not committing to "real plans" with anyone who has burned me more than 1-2 times in that area. Some old friends fell by the wayside as they found religion or drugs or whatever. Others just can't get their act together or remember which night to meet...so that's just too bad for them.

I have run into this a fair amount - I even have one friend that I call my "3rd times a charm" person. If something is planned, I know it won't actually happen until the 2nd time it's rescheduled. I just know that's the pattern and don't take the first 2 scheduled items too seriously.

After my divorce I found a book club, which led me to a group of over 50 single ladies. I love hanging out with them. There is very little judgment, they're all much more social than I am and they plan things regularly. I found that I enjoy spending time/talking with them much more than other women my age.

I have a very tight group of friends. Most of them I ride with, served in the Marines with and/or share an affinity for good cigars. They are all people I can count on. If I could not, they would no longer be in my group of friends.

And I am a person they can count on.

I don't have local friends who are not also friends with my dh at this point. We would generally be invited to do things as a family or couple. I have not been able to commit to or attend things many times because of my dd's issues so I guess I am the sucky friend but they have not sitting at home alone because of it. Dh sometimes goes to things alone if dd and I can not go. My social life is not awesome but it is not because other people are flaky or suck.
As a family/couple we are not really interested in going out as much with friends as spending our free time together.

My non-local friends I don't really make plans with. We communicate through facebook and such but don't really get together as they live far away now.

Maybe time to expand your social circle to include more single people who want to socialize like you or change the type of plans you make.