Help I'm lost

harley79
harley79 Posts: 79 Member
edited November 27 in Getting Started
I'm 48 and weigh 323lbs. I'm at a list on where to start and Everytime I try a new program like WW or low carb or keto my mind sticks to it for a week or 2 and then gives up or I change plans to suit the way I want to eat.. I'm starting back on fitness pal even though the calories of 2100 is freaking me the hell out .. I don't know where to turn and feel like it's hopeless
P.S I also have to stop saying "Screw it" eat and be happy

Tammy

Replies

  • harley79
    harley79 Posts: 79 Member
    I am 5'8" lol lol is that tall??
  • Kim_S_G
    Kim_S_G Posts: 120 Member
    As to where to start, read this: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300331/most-helpful-posts-getting-started-must-reads#latest

    As to feeling hopeless: read some of the success stories, and see pictures of people just like you who lost a lot of weight. I find this very helpful. If other people my age and weight can do it, I know it is not impossible for me to do it.https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/success-stories
  • harley79
    harley79 Posts: 79 Member
    Ty Booksgiver you r absolutely right every year I put it off i get older and older and I'll be saying I wish I did it when I was 48
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,944 Member
    You can eat what you like, as long as you don't eat more than your calorie allowance. So don't try to force some lifestyle onto you that isn't you. Don't do keto if you don't like not eating carbs, don't do anything else you don't like. Just eat, only less of it <3
  • Deviette
    Deviette Posts: 978 Member
    Echoing above comments: Ditch the all or nothing attitude. We are humans, we make mistakes, but that mistake doesn't need to ruin the day, or week, or month. If you sit there and say, "well I've eaten one cookie which has pushed me over my goal, I might as well eat the rest of the packet" Why? Try thinking of things over a week, or even a month. If you eat 100 kcal over your goal in one day that may seem like a lot in one day, but over the course of a week it's not a lot at all. As long as you stick to your goal the rest of the week, that 100 over, will probably be balanced out by the 20 under and 15 under that you'll gain from the rest of the days.

    If you're trying to achieve long term weight loss, you've got to aim to make long term changes in the way that you eat. If you're not prepared to stick to your plan once you reach your goal weight and go back to how you were eating before, then you'll just gain all that weight back again.
  • sharonedix
    sharonedix Posts: 28 Member
    New friend , the struggle real
    However I know there are ups and downs in life to be faced as we grow change struggle daily. But i am sure you can do this
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    harley79 wrote: »
    P.S I also have to stop saying "Screw it" eat and be happy

    Tammy

    if you're actually happy at your current weight, then thats fine, but the fact you seem to want to lose weight suggests otherwise?
  • kbmnurse1
    kbmnurse1 Posts: 316 Member
    Motivation comes from within. Your choices are eat healthy & exercise or don't. You might want to reflect on why you are sabotaging yourself.
  • stareeeyed1
    stareeeyed1 Posts: 10 Member
    I am 34 yo, 5'4", and at a weight loss goal of 1.5 lbs week. I currently have a calorie count 1300-1400 per day which I freaked out at when I first saw on MFP planner-- I find this doable for now after a few days of trying.I had been stuck for months w/ no results tracking my diet/exercise on my own in a spreadsheet old school. I stumbled upon MFP about 12 days ago and since using the trackers/calorie counters/food database I'm down 5 more lbs. so it was worth it to me to get over the slump I'd been in. Start there and see where it takes you. Everyone here understands the ups and downs.
  • deonbfit
    deonbfit Posts: 75 Member
    My sister has the same mentality as you (and I did too for a longgggg time). But it really just starts with small changes. My sister gets a bacon cheese burger with fries cheese and gravy (Poutine in Canada) on the side and eats it all in one sitting. But you need to start making sacrifices. Have the bacon cheese burger with a garden salad on the side instead. Or get the fries cheese and gravy but do a burger with no bun and just cheese. You don't need to be super restrictive to lose weight you just need to start making sacrifices at every meal. Think about the meal you want and how you can still have it but a healthier version. ground turkey or chicken instead of medium ground beef, zucchini noodles or bean sprouts instead of pasta (or half pasta half zucchini noodles), less rice more meat and veggies. Sauce on the side and dip in. baked instead of fried. etc etc etc.

    I am down 19 lbs and I have not given up anything! I'm constantly being mindful of what I'm about to eat, and I'm working to improve the foods I cant live without. I LOVE chicken wings. I eat them at least 2 times a week. I went from fried breaded to fried non breaded to grilled non breaded and now I'm starting to make them skinless.

    Shift your mindset to this and you will begin to see results. Good luck!
  • itsgood
    itsgood Posts: 85 Member
    Motivation gets you started, habit keeps you going!
    The mere thought of going restrictive and having to give up what you like is enough to stop most people in their tracks. Still, many of us get caught in the trap of thinking "I'm going to start right nowand change my ways!" only to get discouraged and let it go. The intention is good, the motivation is real, it's just not always a very effective approach, and the last thing you need is to feel like you've failed.
    Try this...rather than take away, ADD the things you know you want to be eating. Make a deal with yourself to do something like add roasted or steamed vegetables to whatever your meal is and work toward making them 50% of what you eat. Gradually reduce the quantity of things you don't want to be eating. But don't feel you have to give things up. Start to track food so that you'll become aware of what you're actually eating in a day. When you really know what you're consuming, you become much more in control of your choices and will find yourself able to decide what you can and can't do without. Be okay with tweaking things along the way. Don't be in a hurry for dramatic results. It takes a while, and can be oh so frustrating. But it happens! You really can do this!
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,899 Member
    Morbid obesity is not a good place to be......hence the word "morbid". Is your relationship with food worth that word?
    You want to change a lifestyle and it takes time to build good habits as well as "awareness".
    Get the word "diet" out of your vocabulary.
    Start by logging here on MFP and follow the calories that are issued to you from this website and MOVE!
    If you don't do anything it is just getting worse year after year......its up to YOU to change your life! Do not depend on others as well as blame others......its only you and your game!
    "IF IT IS TO BE IT IS UP TO ME"
    "OLD DOGS CAN LEARN NEW TRICKS"
    I am 61yo and I have been losing slowly but I am living life and improving my health and attitude as I am living.
    Love going thru my own closet and trying on things that I haven't worn in years and they fit!
    Either you extend your life or shorten it! Which are you going to pick???
  • GOT_Obsessed
    GOT_Obsessed Posts: 817 Member
    1 thing that helped me was a date in the future that is important to me. Not a deadline but just a date to think about. Last fall I thought about Canada Day long weekend. We have a big celebration with company from out of province. It just hit me last fall that if I dealt with my weight now, come July 1st I would be much smaller.

    And you know what? It's July 4th and I am under 2 lbs away from my goal. Had I said screw it like I often did in the past, I would still be 57 lbs heavier than now or even more. Think of Christmas, your bIrthday, anniversary, etc. Would it not be awesome to have dropped some weight by then? Best of luck. I hope you find what will stick for you.
  • harley79
    harley79 Posts: 79 Member
    You guys are awesome!! It sounds so simple and probably is I don't know why I think it will never be for me and that I can never achieve it!!
    I'm so strong in other areas of my life uuggh
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    harley79 wrote: »
    You guys are awesome!! It sounds so simple and probably is I don't know why I think it will never be for me and that I can never achieve it!!
    I'm so strong in other areas of my life uuggh

    Simple /= Easy. One day at at time, making sustainable changes, You will fail some days. That's ok. Just don't let those days outnumber the days you kick *kitten*.
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,944 Member
    I lost all the weight I wanted to lose while living in Qatar. Most socialising there is centred around going to chain restaurants like Fuddruckers or Nandos. Plus the office canteen served warm food (great Indian, ok local, totally rubbish European) where the offered calorie count was completely off and pulled out of thin air. I still managed to lose. At Nandos I'd ask for the smallest chicken breast they had, have a few fries and a bean salad with water that just about fitted in my dinner allowance. At Fudd I usually had the smallest burger with beans on the side, no cheese (who would want American cheese anyway? It's gross) and condiments on the side. I usually went a bit over but I still lost weight, and even the small burger was more than filling for me. At the office canteen I initially went with the calorie count offered, then looked up authentic recipes and used those calorie counts. Often a subzi with rice, a bit of hummus and tabuleh, plus a big pile of paprika, cherry tomatoes and cucumber to nibble on later in the day. And a nice little piece of cheese. it usually left me about 600kcal for dinner, and I was losing just fine.
  • hipari
    hipari Posts: 1,367 Member
    harley79 wrote: »
    I am 5'8" lol lol is that tall??

    I'm also 5'8''. My maintenance varies between 2500 and 2700 (weekly averages), and averaging 2100 intake means losing for me. Sure, I'm currently in a plateau, but that's expected. I think the big issue with weight loss is that a lot of us tend to think in terms of "what can I do today to achieve immediate results" instead of "what can I realistically do for the rest of my life". If you aren't ready to give up donuts/wine/sushi/bacon/whatever for the rest of your life, you're better off figuring out a way of including those favorites in moderation, in a way you feel is sustainable. It might mean losing slower, but I think permanent results are worth it.

    Also, there is no bandwagon, and no track. It's life, there's no falling off it or getting back on. It's different every day, you just have to figure out a way to alter your "average" to a direction that enables you to reach your goals.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    VUA21 wrote: »
    I am 41, a woman and 5'7". I yo-yo'd for years, then finally figured it out. So far I've lost 180lbs. It took two years to drop 170, then I did a one year recomp and let my skin catch up a bit(gained 6lbs in one year, but stopped a pants size). I've lost an additional 10lbs since coming back for a grand total of 180... Here's what I've learned.

    1. Diets DON'T work. Sure, you can lose weight while on various diets, it's what happens as soon as you stop the diet that's the problem. It's our "normal" eating habits that led to the weight gain, so stopping a diet and going back to "normal" is going to lead to weight gain. You have to make a lifestyle change.
    2. Changing your entire lifestyle all at once is incredibly difficult and nearly impossible to maintain. Changing ONE thing is easy, and is easily turned into a habit. Over time small changes that become your habits equals a lifestyle change.
    3. There are no bad foods: Unless you are allergic to, have an intolerance of, or other medical reason to avoid/eliminate certain foods (diabetes, Celiac's, high blood pressure etc). There are no bad foods.
    4. Yes, it is as simple as Calories In vs Calories Out (CICO). Consume fewer calories than you use and you will lose weight. Note: a calorie is a unit of energy, they are all the same - it's the source of the calories that varies, different sources contain different nutrients. Basically, diets of nothing but Skittles or Kale are equally bad for you. Have variety.
    5. Patience!!! Weight loss is not quick not linear. It takes time, a lot of time. Plateaus happen (I just got off of a nearly 2 week plateau) all the time. I've had more than I can count.
    6. There's no magic. As there is no bad food, there are no foods, pills, drinks, or anything else that magically cause weight loss.
    7. Exercise is not mandatory. To lose weight, eat at a calorie deficit. That's it. Now, while exercise is not mandatory it is recommended. Both cardio and strength training, this does not mean you have to join a gym. A dedicated 30 minute walk and body weight exercises are more than sufficient. Cardio: to improve your cardiovascular health. Strength training: to improve your overall strength and health.
    8. Slow progress is progress. So many people quit because they don't see results as fast as they expect to, without realizing that thier slow progress, is still progress.
    9. Don't quit. We ALL have bad days and weeks. It's called being human, so if you have a bad day or week: congratulations on being human, there are 8 billion of us. The only time we truly fail, is when we quit trying!
    10. Goals:. Set goal for yourself. Not just weight goals, but also activity goals. Anything that is closer to your end goal from where you are can be a goal, drop a size, walk 30 minutes a day for a week, log daily for a week....these are all goals. With goals, reward yourself (just not with food, you are not a dog). Little goals: little rewards, big goals: big rewards. Rewards can be anything from a new workout t-shirt to an hour of "me time".
    11. It's okay to be angry, frustrated, and/or upset. Let it out. If nothing else vent your anger and frustrations here, we've been there and know that sometimes it gets hard.

    Hope this helps, you can do it.

    This..
  • motivatedmartha
    motivatedmartha Posts: 1,108 Member

    This - baby steps. You do not have to lose all the weight immediately. Use a food scale and log accurately, find out where your key eating problems are - be it portion control, nibbling in between meals etc etc and do one thing at a time. Over a few weeks you will then be able to move your habits so that 2100 doesn't feel horrendous. During your first few weeks don't weigh yourself - leads to disappointment if you haven't lost loads during this learning/acclimatising period. Just practice eating more appropriate portions of foods you like and avoiding foods that you don't think are really worth spending calories on. This is not a race - it is about learning how to live in a healthier way.

    Depending on what you have set your activity level at on mfp you may be able to earn a few more calories each day with some exercise. Doesn't need to be dramatic, walking a bit more, perhaps swimming or dancing - anything that you enjoy. The calories for these activities are in the database and relate to your weight and height; many people plan to eat only half of calories earned as the database is overly generous.

    Countless people on here have successfully lost more weight than you need to - you are no different - you can do this. Remember, the slower the process the more you will have learned those habits that will help you maintain a healthy weight forever. X
  • VUA21
    VUA21 Posts: 2,072 Member
    harley79 wrote: »
    You guys are awesome!! It sounds so simple and probably is I don't know why I think it will never be for me and that I can never achieve it!!
    I'm so strong in other areas of my life uuggh
    harley79 wrote: »
    You guys are awesome!! It sounds so simple and probably is I don't know why I think it will never be for me and that I can never achieve it!!
    I'm so strong in other areas of my life uuggh

    Instead of focusing on the end goal, focus on a little goal. Make yourself 3 goals: log everyday for a week, lose 5lbs, and do a total of 60 minutes of dedicated walking (doesn't matter if it's 1 day or 3 weeks - just get to 60 minutes). Or any other 3 small goals you like.

    These are very realistic and easily achievable goals. Each time you reach one, make a new small goal for yourself. Keep track of them, a simple notebook is great. Anytime you feel as though you're not progressing, take a look at what you've already achieved. It'll show you exactly how far you've come.
  • sharonedix
    sharonedix Posts: 28 Member
    Once again everyone above has said such insightful thoughts . Surely each of you are a blessing sent to help a new friend . Please each of you add me . I dont know how to add each of you or I would
  • lolly2414
    lolly2414 Posts: 186 Member
    Like someone else said before, maybe think of a future date and focus on it. I started my weight loss/get healthy plan at the beginning of May. I'm 38 and started out at around 244 lbs and my first big goal is to be under 200 by New Year's. I've lost 18 lbs so far and am on track to be right around 200 by then. Then if I achieve that goal I would like to be at 160 by my 40th birthday in October of next year. I want to be able to say that I'm in better shape on my 40th birthday than I was on my 30th birthday. Even if I miss my goals by a handful of lbs, I still feel better knowing I'm heading in the right direction. Perhaps since you said you're 48, you could focus on where you'd like to be by your 50th birthday? Or focus on getting to the next clothing size down from where you're at right now. That can be a good motivator.

    For me, changing things a little at a time helps. I still allow myself to drink a soda when I eat out, but I don't keep any in my house so I can't drink it at home. I allow myself to eat out for 1 lunch per week and 1 dinner per week, but try to choose healthier options at restaurants. I try to eat smaller portions (use a small plate instead of the standard size dinner plate) and I log everything I eat. Also, anything you know you'll binge on (for me that would be ice cream) keep it out of the house. Yet, still allow yourself some treats as long as they fit in your calorie goal. I still allow myself some potato chips or chocolate, but only when I can squeeze it into my calories. Then try to be more active, even if it's just walking more around the house and working up to taking walks around the block. Any added exercise will help you be more fit, but will also allow you more calories to eat.

    Good luck! You can do this!
  • Spliner1969
    Spliner1969 Posts: 3,233 Member
    harley79 wrote: »
    I'm 48 and weigh 323lbs. I'm at a list on where to start and Everytime I try a new program like WW or low carb or keto my mind sticks to it for a week or 2 and then gives up or I change plans to suit the way I want to eat.. I'm starting back on fitness pal even though the calories of 2100 is freaking me the hell out .. I don't know where to turn and feel like it's hopeless
    P.S I also have to stop saying "Screw it" eat and be happy

    Tammy

    Low carb, keto, generally don't work for a lot of people. It's not as important how you eat as how much you eat. You also don't have to starve, but you're not going to be able to drown everything in butter or add sugar to everything in order to stay under your calorie goals. 2100 is quite a bit. I'm 6'2" tall, male, and eat around 2200 on average when cutting slowly. That's with 4 days a week of heavy exercise for up to two hours at a time.

    The problem is that the food industry tries to sell you things that taste good because you'll buy more. That's exactly why you see the checkout registers at the stores lined with candy and high calorie snacks rather than low calorie snacks and veggies. Heck grab one king size candy bar or a little six pack of gem doughnuts and you can easily blow 500-600 calories. I really wish stores would remove all the junk from their checkout isles. Would probably help parents keep their sanity a bit better as well.

    Start taking a look at what you eat on a regular basis and adjust it. You could start by getting a kitchen scale, and accurately log everything you eat for one day just to see how many calories you consume without trying to limit yourself. Then the next day take a look at what you eat and investigate ways of tweaking recipes or substituting items to lower the calorie counts. It's not rocket science, but you have to be diligent and willing to learn to eat new things, and prepare food differently.

    My mother grew up on a farm and they rarely had things like sugar in the house. Once she married and had kids she always had sugar in the house. She learned that adding it to a lot of things she cooked made it taste better. So I was raised with everything coated in butter, enhanced with sugar, and it tasted wonderful. Today, I simply can't cook like that. I've learned to make my favorite recipes from childhood differently. I choose leaner meats, different types of meats (ground turkey, ground pork, lean ground beef, etc.) and eat more steamed veggies along side of it. I learned to like salads but also learned that there are light dressings out there that are 1/3 or less the calories of the full blown fatty and sugary ones.

    Good luck! You can do it if you put your mind to it. Exercise can help you earn more calories as well, try walking a mile or two a day.
  • Vgetskinny
    Vgetskinny Posts: 28 Member
    What always helps me is to focus on ADDING to my food and drink intake! Do not think about taking away. Instead, add PROTEIN, FIBER and WATER. I set alarms for myself on the computer (where I usually work all day) and on my cell phone, which is almost always with me. It reminds me at 11am to drink water, 12pm eat protein, 1pm water, 2pm Eat Fiber, 3pm drink water, and so on. This makes me feel more full and satisfied, and before I know it I am consuming less calories because I have made better choices in order to get the high protein and fiber. I do keep the carbs low for the most part, but I never start with that. Each week I tweak it just a little to make it healthier, but my first weeks are all about ADDING the right three components.
    PROTEIN, FIBER and WATER. :)
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