Help I'm lost

harley79 · July 2018

I'm 48 and weigh 323lbs. I'm at a list on where to start and Everytime I try a new program like WW or low carb or keto my mind sticks to it for a week or 2 and then gives up or I change plans to suit the way I want to eat.. I'm starting back on fitness pal even though the calories of 2100 is freaking me the hell out .. I don't know where to turn and feel like it's hopeless
P.S I also have to stop saying "Screw it" eat and be happy

Tammy

booksgiver · July 2018

2100 calories a day freaks you out? You must be tall as at my height, 5'1, 2000 would be maintenance. I'm also 68 so that's likely a factor as well. I can tell you this, there is no "screw it, eat and be happy". When you're morbidly obese there is no happy. It's a terrible sense of loss of self control and worry about the future. Unfortunately, one's weight continues to increase unless we start with self discipline. I understand and have often felt exactly the way you do now. I can warn you though that unless you get control aging is going to be much more difficult. I wish I had gained control at 48..now is your chance!

harley79 · July 2018

I am 5'8" lol lol is that tall??

nutmegoreo · July 2018

Start by logging what you eat now. In about a week, you'll havd some good data. Look over those logs and see where you can reduce and make simple changes that you can live with. The all or nothing mindset led me to failure so many times. Learning his to adapt your current habits so that you can enjoy the process, but still get there.

Kim_S_G · July 2018

As to where to start, read this: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300331/most-helpful-posts-getting-started-must-reads#latest

As to feeling hopeless: read some of the success stories, and see pictures of people just like you who lost a lot of weight. I find this very helpful. If other people my age and weight can do it, I know it is not impossible for me to do it.https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/success-stories

harley79 · July 2018

Ty Booksgiver you r absolutely right every year I put it off i get older and older and I'll be saying I wish I did it when I was 48

yirara · July 2018

You can eat what you like, as long as you don't eat more than your calorie allowance. So don't try to force some lifestyle onto you that isn't you. Don't do keto if you don't like not eating carbs, don't do anything else you don't like. Just eat, only less of it

matthewwbarrett · July 2018

harley79 (Tammy), You are not alone. Everyone here struggles with weight. I happened upon a Wellness Program for fitness a few years ago and I have been successful losing weight - at least sometimes! Here is my advice: you have to work on both exercise and diet - there are no shortcuts. Do not worry so much about calories. Start some exercise. Walking is great if you can do that. Remember that life is movement. You need to move regularly and challenge yourself over time to increase distance and/or speed, but take baby steps at first. I FEEL BETTER after I exercise, even during it, and gain more energy and confidence. Buy a fitness tracker to measure steps - that is motivating for me, I like to see the numbers go up! I own a Fitbit Charge 2 for my wrist (steps, heart rate, and sleep) and a Garmin Edge 20 (with GPS) for my bike (distance, speed). Start to remove bad foods from your diet. Colas, sweets, fake sugars, vegetable oils, margarine, and "low fat" are all really bad. Healthy fats like coconut oil to cook with, olive oil to drizzle over salads, and Kerrygold (organic) butter are very good. Crowd out the bad by trying healthy foods that you like. Try many of the vegetables in the produce section. You do not have to "like" all healthy food, you just have to find some you can incorporate. You WILL develop better habits. Do not be so hard on yourself! But focus on results, one thing, one step at a time.

Matthew

tinkerbellang83 · July 2018

harley79 wrote: »

I'm 48 and weigh 323lbs. I'm at a list on where to start and Everytime I try a new program like WW or low carb or keto my mind sticks to it for a week or 2 and then gives up or I change plans to suit the way I want to eat.. I'm starting back on fitness pal even though the calories of 2100 is freaking me the hell out .. I don't know where to turn and feel like it's hopeless
P.S I also have to stop saying "Screw it" eat and be happy

Tammy

I'd suggest stop trying to make big changes with all these different programs.

2100 isn't much at all in the grand scheme, I am same height as you and 100lbs lighter and my gross calorie intake most days is around 2400 to lose 1lb per week.

Understanding how your calorie allowance is calculated can allay your worries:

Ignore previous poster's comments about bad foods, there are no bad foods, only a bad overall diet.

Start logging your normal intake for a couple of days, see where your food intake is taking you over and make small changes to get to you down to your calorie allowance and then you can start making small changes for better nutrition.

Deviette · July 2018

Echoing above comments: Ditch the all or nothing attitude. We are humans, we make mistakes, but that mistake doesn't need to ruin the day, or week, or month. If you sit there and say, "well I've eaten one cookie which has pushed me over my goal, I might as well eat the rest of the packet" Why? Try thinking of things over a week, or even a month. If you eat 100 kcal over your goal in one day that may seem like a lot in one day, but over the course of a week it's not a lot at all. As long as you stick to your goal the rest of the week, that 100 over, will probably be balanced out by the 20 under and 15 under that you'll gain from the rest of the days.

If you're trying to achieve long term weight loss, you've got to aim to make long term changes in the way that you eat. If you're not prepared to stick to your plan once you reach your goal weight and go back to how you were eating before, then you'll just gain all that weight back again.

sharonedix · July 2018

New friend , the struggle real
However I know there are ups and downs in life to be faced as we grow change struggle daily. But i am sure you can do this

TavistockToad · July 2018

harley79 wrote: »

P.S I also have to stop saying "Screw it" eat and be happy

Tammy

if you're actually happy at your current weight, then thats fine, but the fact you seem to want to lose weight suggests otherwise?

kbmnurse1 · July 2018

Motivation comes from within. Your choices are eat healthy & exercise or don't. You might want to reflect on why you are sabotaging yourself.

stareeeyed1 · July 2018

I am 34 yo, 5'4", and at a weight loss goal of 1.5 lbs week. I currently have a calorie count 1300-1400 per day which I freaked out at when I first saw on MFP planner-- I find this doable for now after a few days of trying.I had been stuck for months w/ no results tracking my diet/exercise on my own in a spreadsheet old school. I stumbled upon MFP about 12 days ago and since using the trackers/calorie counters/food database I'm down 5 more lbs. so it was worth it to me to get over the slump I'd been in. Start there and see where it takes you. Everyone here understands the ups and downs.

deonbfit · July 2018

My sister has the same mentality as you (and I did too for a longgggg time). But it really just starts with small changes. My sister gets a bacon cheese burger with fries cheese and gravy (Poutine in Canada) on the side and eats it all in one sitting. But you need to start making sacrifices. Have the bacon cheese burger with a garden salad on the side instead. Or get the fries cheese and gravy but do a burger with no bun and just cheese. You don't need to be super restrictive to lose weight you just need to start making sacrifices at every meal. Think about the meal you want and how you can still have it but a healthier version. ground turkey or chicken instead of medium ground beef, zucchini noodles or bean sprouts instead of pasta (or half pasta half zucchini noodles), less rice more meat and veggies. Sauce on the side and dip in. baked instead of fried. etc etc etc.

I am down 19 lbs and I have not given up anything! I'm constantly being mindful of what I'm about to eat, and I'm working to improve the foods I cant live without. I LOVE chicken wings. I eat them at least 2 times a week. I went from fried breaded to fried non breaded to grilled non breaded and now I'm starting to make them skinless.

Shift your mindset to this and you will begin to see results. Good luck!

itsgood · July 2018

Motivation gets you started, habit keeps you going!
The mere thought of going restrictive and having to give up what you like is enough to stop most people in their tracks. Still, many of us get caught in the trap of thinking "I'm going to start right nowand change my ways!" only to get discouraged and let it go. The intention is good, the motivation is real, it's just not always a very effective approach, and the last thing you need is to feel like you've failed.
Try this...rather than take away, ADD the things you know you want to be eating. Make a deal with yourself to do something like add roasted or steamed vegetables to whatever your meal is and work toward making them 50% of what you eat. Gradually reduce the quantity of things you don't want to be eating. But don't feel you have to give things up. Start to track food so that you'll become aware of what you're actually eating in a day. When you really know what you're consuming, you become much more in control of your choices and will find yourself able to decide what you can and can't do without. Be okay with tweaking things along the way. Don't be in a hurry for dramatic results. It takes a while, and can be oh so frustrating. But it happens! You really can do this!

VUA21 · July 2018

I am 41, a woman and 5'7". I yo-yo'd for years, then finally figured it out. So far I've lost 180lbs. It took two years to drop 170, then I did a one year recomp and let my skin catch up a bit(gained 6lbs in one year, but stopped a pants size). I've lost an additional 10lbs since coming back for a grand total of 180... Here's what I've learned.

1. Diets DON'T work. Sure, you can lose weight while on various diets, it's what happens as soon as you stop the diet that's the problem. It's our "normal" eating habits that led to the weight gain, so stopping a diet and going back to "normal" is going to lead to weight gain. You have to make a lifestyle change.
2. Changing your entire lifestyle all at once is incredibly difficult and nearly impossible to maintain. Changing ONE thing is easy, and is easily turned into a habit. Over time small changes that become your habits equals a lifestyle change.
3. There are no bad foods: Unless you are allergic to, have an intolerance of, or other medical reason to avoid/eliminate certain foods (diabetes, Celiac's, high blood pressure etc). There are no bad foods.
4. Yes, it is as simple as Calories In vs Calories Out (CICO). Consume fewer calories than you use and you will lose weight. Note: a calorie is a unit of energy, they are all the same - it's the source of the calories that varies, different sources contain different nutrients. Basically, diets of nothing but Skittles or Kale are equally bad for you. Have variety.
5. Patience!!! Weight loss is not quick not linear. It takes time, a lot of time. Plateaus happen (I just got off of a nearly 2 week plateau) all the time. I've had more than I can count.
6. There's no magic. As there is no bad food, there are no foods, pills, drinks, or anything else that magically cause weight loss.
7. Exercise is not mandatory. To lose weight, eat at a calorie deficit. That's it. Now, while exercise is not mandatory it is recommended. Both cardio and strength training, this does not mean you have to join a gym. A dedicated 30 minute walk and body weight exercises are more than sufficient. Cardio: to improve your cardiovascular health. Strength training: to improve your overall strength and health.
8. Slow progress is progress. So many people quit because they don't see results as fast as they expect to, without realizing that thier slow progress, is still progress.
9. Don't quit. We ALL have bad days and weeks. It's called being human, so if you have a bad day or week: congratulations on being human, there are 8 billion of us. The only time we truly fail, is when we quit trying!
10. Goals:. Set goal for yourself. Not just weight goals, but also activity goals. Anything that is closer to your end goal from where you are can be a goal, drop a size, walk 30 minutes a day for a week, log daily for a week....these are all goals. With goals, reward yourself (just not with food, you are not a dog). Little goals: little rewards, big goals: big rewards. Rewards can be anything from a new workout t-shirt to an hour of "me time".
11. It's okay to be angry, frustrated, and/or upset. Let it out. If nothing else vent your anger and frustrations here, we've been there and know that sometimes it gets hard.

Hope this helps, you can do it.

dsboohead · July 2018

Morbid obesity is not a good place to be......hence the word "morbid". Is your relationship with food worth that word?
You want to change a lifestyle and it takes time to build good habits as well as "awareness".
Get the word "diet" out of your vocabulary.
Start by logging here on MFP and follow the calories that are issued to you from this website and MOVE!
If you don't do anything it is just getting worse year after year......its up to YOU to change your life! Do not depend on others as well as blame others......its only you and your game!
"IF IT IS TO BE IT IS UP TO ME"
"OLD DOGS CAN LEARN NEW TRICKS"
I am 61yo and I have been losing slowly but I am living life and improving my health and attitude as I am living.
Love going thru my own closet and trying on things that I haven't worn in years and they fit!
Either you extend your life or shorten it! Which are you going to pick???

GOT_Obsessed · July 2018

1 thing that helped me was a date in the future that is important to me. Not a deadline but just a date to think about. Last fall I thought about Canada Day long weekend. We have a big celebration with company from out of province. It just hit me last fall that if I dealt with my weight now, come July 1st I would be much smaller.

And you know what? It's July 4th and I am under 2 lbs away from my goal. Had I said screw it like I often did in the past, I would still be 57 lbs heavier than now or even more. Think of Christmas, your bIrthday, anniversary, etc. Would it not be awesome to have dropped some weight by then? Best of luck. I hope you find what will stick for you.

harley79 · July 2018

You guys are awesome!! It sounds so simple and probably is I don't know why I think it will never be for me and that I can never achieve it!!
I'm so strong in other areas of my life uuggh

pinuplove · July 2018

harley79 wrote: »

You guys are awesome!! It sounds so simple and probably is I don't know why I think it will never be for me and that I can never achieve it!!
I'm so strong in other areas of my life uuggh

Simple /= Easy. One day at at time, making sustainable changes, You will fail some days. That's ok. Just don't let those days outnumber the days you kick *kitten*.

Help I'm lost

Replies

Categories