Bodybuilding and body image issues
sardelsa
Posts: 9,812 Member
I am wondering how common it is for people who bodybuild (recreationally or competively) to experience some type of body image issues (I don't know if classified as serious as body dysmorphia but maybe in some cases).
Before I got into lifting and bulk/cut cycles, I always figured things were not possible and accepted how I looked but tried to improve on what I could. Since I started bodybuilding however, and seeing what is possible...I don't accept certain things as much any more. I am always trying to keep pushing and find myself getting more and more focused on this "perfect ideal" I have in my head.
I don't know what is going on with me lately but I am so discouraged...I feel like I work so hard and I am still nowhere near happy. I am constantly doubting myself, thinking maybe I am not working hard enough, not running the right programming, not eating right, not taking this seriously enough. Sometimes I think I might need a coach to push me in the right direction. But I feel like my goals aren't serious enough for that. Then I think I might need new goals, but I've tried in the past and while I love getting stronger having it as my #1 goal just doesn't keep me motivated either. I just don't know how to get out of this funk and stop putting so much pressure on aesthetics.
Anyone going through something similar or have any advice on how to manage it?
Before I got into lifting and bulk/cut cycles, I always figured things were not possible and accepted how I looked but tried to improve on what I could. Since I started bodybuilding however, and seeing what is possible...I don't accept certain things as much any more. I am always trying to keep pushing and find myself getting more and more focused on this "perfect ideal" I have in my head.
I don't know what is going on with me lately but I am so discouraged...I feel like I work so hard and I am still nowhere near happy. I am constantly doubting myself, thinking maybe I am not working hard enough, not running the right programming, not eating right, not taking this seriously enough. Sometimes I think I might need a coach to push me in the right direction. But I feel like my goals aren't serious enough for that. Then I think I might need new goals, but I've tried in the past and while I love getting stronger having it as my #1 goal just doesn't keep me motivated either. I just don't know how to get out of this funk and stop putting so much pressure on aesthetics.
Anyone going through something similar or have any advice on how to manage it?
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Replies
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Good afternoon, Stephanie! I totally understand your thoughts. Lots of people are their own worst enemy...their own worst doubter. I will keep it short and sweet (if you can believe that):
Trust yourself.5 -
Very timely - this is an article I just read by Jeff Alberts (from Eric Helms' 3DMJ blog). You may find it helpful, or at least insightful: http://3dmusclejourney.com/transparency-bodybuilding/
FWIW, I think anybody who gets into bodybuilding/physique training (whether competitive or not) suffers this to some degree. As the saying goes, "The day you started lifting is the day you became forever small". I've made huge improvements from where I started, but I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be - and given my genetics (and age), I probably never will be to where I'd be 100% satisfied (if there even is such a thing as "100% satisfied" when it comes to physique!).9 -
I'm no where near a bodybuilder but I lift and when I get bored changing my goals always helps. I don't recall if you do cardio or not, but if you do try focusing more on that for a while: longer runs, faster sprints, etc. (or whatever applies to your cardio of choice)
I also think you have kids but don't remember their ages. If they're old enough have you considered getting involved in a sport that you and they can participate in? Doing something like that helps to shift your focus off of solely aesthetics to what your body is capable of. For me, it adds a new perspective and a reminder to be grateful for what my body can DO in addition to how it looks.
However, I know you are very knowledgeable on these topics, so I agree with the above poster: trust yourself.5 -
Same boat here. I feel frustrated. I put so much effort in, this past fall/winter/spring, and when I compare before and afters, I don't see much change. When I focus on strength goals, I feel more immediate gratification, but at the end of the day, I'm lifting because I have specific aesthetic goals and those trump strength. And I kind of wonder if it's just a result of putting so much time, effort, and interest into something and having it not meet expectations. I've put my hand to other efforts too (landscaping, baking projects, sewing) and the disappointment I feel after all that hard work produces lackluster results is similar, I think, to how I feel about my bodybuilding effort these days. I think I just need to find the bright side, focus on the positive results I've gotten from this time (even if all that is is getting my body back after babies, or just a great feeling I've had after every workout has been completed). I think even the perfect looking Instagram fitspos have things they want to change, and we're all working toward it.2
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Have you ever heard the saying that goes something like- the day you started lifting is the day you became forever small because you will never be as big as you want to be? Even though it's used as a joke in a meme , it still holds very true.
For a lot of us , As soon as we realize that we can do the extraordinary we will always want more and want to be better.
It helps me to put things into perspective by comparing pictures. I look at myself before and now and even though I'm nowhere close to where I want to be, I still look amazing and better than most!
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I totally get it. I used to never think I was skinny enough, and lifting got me out of that mentality... but now I never feel big enough or lean enough. I see these women with, what I consider to be, perfect physiques and wonder how many more bulk/cut/recomp cycles do I need to do to get there. I've also realized that I'm bigger than I think I am, I just can't see it.5
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I completely understand how you feel and I would guess that nearly everyone who participates in some kind of bodybuilding feels this way often. I think that building a physique is a long process that takes a lot of patience and when you're in the middle of it you can forget how far you've come. I don't currently compete but I have a coach and I have found that having input and guidance from an unbiased, external source is very helpful - Especially when I get in my own head and doubt myself.
As others have mentioned, I think that you always look better than you think that you do. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of another girl in the mirror at the gym and I think "Wow, she looks great! I wish I was that big..." and then I realize that it's actually me.5 -
Seems common to never be 100% satisfied whether looking for a transformation (20%+ improvement or so) or just some icing on the cake (last 5%) because perfection is not obtainable, just something one can strive towards as a goal. If anything, I view bodybuilding more as a hobby, having some goal/improvement to strive for (something to preoccupy my spare time; there are not any real consequences or stakes to have anxiety about)3
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I am wondering how common it is for people who bodybuild (recreationally or competively) to experience some type of body image issues (I don't know if classified as serious as body dysmorphia but maybe in some cases).
Before I got into lifting and bulk/cut cycles, I always figured things were not possible and accepted how I looked but tried to improve on what I could. Since I started bodybuilding however, and seeing what is possible...I don't accept certain things as much any more. I am always trying to keep pushing and find myself getting more and more focused on this "perfect ideal" I have in my head.
I don't know what is going on with me lately but I am so discouraged...I feel like I work so hard and I am still nowhere near happy. I am constantly doubting myself, thinking maybe I am not working hard enough, not running the right programming, not eating right, not taking this seriously enough. Sometimes I think I might need a coach to push me in the right direction. But I feel like my goals aren't serious enough for that. Then I think I might need new goals, but I've tried in the past and while I love getting stronger having it as my #1 goal just doesn't keep me motivated either. I just don't know how to get out of this funk and stop putting so much pressure on aesthetics.
Anyone going through something similar or have any advice on how to manage it?
Have you thought of hiring a coach as you say to challenge You?3 -
I am wondering how common it is for people who bodybuild (recreationally or competively) to experience some type of body image issues (I don't know if classified as serious as body dysmorphia but maybe in some cases).
Before I got into lifting and bulk/cut cycles, I always figured things were not possible and accepted how I looked but tried to improve on what I could. Since I started bodybuilding however, and seeing what is possible...I don't accept certain things as much any more. I am always trying to keep pushing and find myself getting more and more focused on this "perfect ideal" I have in my head.
I don't know what is going on with me lately but I am so discouraged...I feel like I work so hard and I am still nowhere near happy. I am constantly doubting myself, thinking maybe I am not working hard enough, not running the right programming, not eating right, not taking this seriously enough. Sometimes I think I might need a coach to push me in the right direction. But I feel like my goals aren't serious enough for that. Then I think I might need new goals, but I've tried in the past and while I love getting stronger having it as my #1 goal just doesn't keep me motivated either. I just don't know how to get out of this funk and stop putting so much pressure on aesthetics.
Anyone going through something similar or have any advice on how to manage it?
It is really common to have body issues in bodybuilding. I've seen people at 8 percent body fat so lean a paper cut would kill them talk about lossing weight.
Just some thoughts
You are more then your looks, what you lift and what you can do. Find joy in other things in life, we are only going to live so long. Anything can and will be taken away, if you arn't having fun maybe a deload were you do something different will make you motivated. Human nature makes it hard to be happy with what you have look up hedonic treadmill. Sometime when I am not happy I start looking at everything but the things in my life that are making me unhappy.
I wish the best for you.
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I feel like this all the time! I'm not sure I'll ever be satisfied, but this is what drives my desire to continually get better. I'm 46 years old and feel better than I did in my 20s. So I've decided that maybe this isn't the worst mindset to be "stuck" with. Afterall, we could be couch potatoes, overweight, and in declining health. 3
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I believe most of us are in the same boat. And i already recognize that even if i get a six pack i will probably want to bulk or something else.
For me, i just keep revising my goals... Many of which are not image based which has helped me in the past. Although, it has been a mental and physical struggle for me to get sub 16%.6 -
Sometimes I think we can have body image issues due to unrealistic expections.
What I mean by that is we see so many people on tv or wherever who are not 100% natural or have had different forms of cosmetic surgery.
As someone said we will likely never be satisfied but that is what drives us in a way.
I want to be the best I can be.
3 -
Sometimes I think we can have body image issues due to unrealistic expections.
What I mean by that is we see so many people on tv or wherever who are not 100% natural or have had different forms of cosmetic surgery.
As someone said we will likely never be satisfied but that is what drives us in a way.
I want to be the best I can be.
Mine certainly isn't from the television. My sister has DDD breasts, with a waistline, buttocks and tapered thighs like Kiki Vhyce. I see my body goals everyday. No room for me to slack off.4 -
I used to be physique focused and felt like I was losing and gaining the same kgs every bulk and cut cycle. I'd be upset every time I finished a cut, and every time I had a dexa scan, asking myself "is this really what I spent the last 6 months achieving?"
For me, the answer was to stop focusing on that completely, and take up something where physique was something that would develop slowly on the side while I focused on my other goals. I'm much happier now.6 -
I think that labelling it is a really good first step. If you think this is a problem, it's probably best to tackle it head on. Have u ever done any therapy? I'm thinking like CBT based thought records of noticing those rhouhhts, challenging them, and then not letting them rule your life.
There are some good workpages online to download that are CBT and body dysmorphia bases5 -
Yeah I don't if its fair to say TV or Instagram causes these issues. Because people have been striving to create perfect bodies the entire time I've been alive. No the mirror causes it. We all want to strive to be our best selves and sometimes the mirror is the first and only responder. I think we all go thru plateaus and its frustrating. The last couple of weeks have been a struggle for my cut because of summer parties and the drinks that go with them. Yet I met my original weight goal, but I said that's not good enough the next goal is 9 to 10% bf. I'm struggling getting past the 13 to 15 mark. Summer is killing me too many parties, but I'm not a pro so I'm gonna live and still be frustrated. Until I break the damn open again.
But I just wanted to say to Sardelsa, that you are a very beautiful person who has made a ton progress. It sounds like you're frustrated but Your willingness to share your progress, and knowledge is greatly appreciated by many, including myself. You've inspired a lot of people around here not just the ladies.4 -
Yes, I can definitely relate to this. Losing weight was in some ways the easy part, because it gave me such a specific focus and a goal. I was in a mindset at the time that was just tell me what to do and I'll do it. And I did.
Then the focus was on getting more lean and losing body fat. And then.... it was like I kind of ran out of goals and without that, I lost some of my motivation and that laser focus. I can see why some people get into fitness competitions, just to have that next thing on the calendar or something to strive for.
I also find it difficult when I feel "regressed." I know that my weight is fine, but I'm not as lean and jacked as I was at certain points of time and of course that is now the standard I always compare myself to. Me at my very best in this little point in time. There are times I will take a fitness class and of course I instantly pick out the ONE most fit/lean girl in the class and have to make myself not compare or feel bad. And just focus on the positive things I can do for my body that day.
The main thing that helps is when I stop to reflect and truly appreciate that I have a strong, healthy body that moves and does a lot for me. That is not something to take for granted or be treated lightly. Sometimes having a performance based goal also helps take the focus off the physical appearance and strive for something that makes me feel strong and powerful. And also just trying to keep perspective. I mean life is meant for living - not just meal prepping and walking around with nice arms. As nice as that feels!
Some days I am better at this than others.5 -
Thank you everyone for all the support. It seems I am not alone in how I feel. I am very happy with the progress I have made but I think many of us have those days where we just feel discouraged (especially when I catch some bad lighting or photo angle), not to mention I am not getting any younger so maybe that is part of it.
Getting involved in another area of fitness is a good idea, I used to be into kickboxing, and I love yoga.. so maybe putting some more focus on those areas can shift my thinking.
I don't really compare myself to anyone online, I look at my body and want it to look a certain way which seems attainable since in certain light it will look great, but then in bad lighting it's like.. uch, what happened.
I am starting to consider a coach, but they would have to be very knowledgeable and someone I really trust. I have someone in mind but can't commit right now, maybe in the future I will.
I don't think it has reached the level where I need to talk to someone, but if it starts to interfere with my daily life in a significant and long term way, I will consider it.
I will keep working on it. Try to keep focus on the good parts and not the bad. It is easier said than done I'm sure!
Thanks everyone. I hope we can all find that balance.11 -
For me I still deal with body images even though I am 10kg smaller, it is just different issues
- Getting fatter
- Getting smaller
- More muscle/less muscle
- Virtiligo
- etc.....
I think no one will ever be satisfied with how they look.
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Thank you everyone for all the support. It seems I am not alone in how I feel. I am very happy with the progress I have made but I think many of us have those days where we just feel discouraged (especially when I catch some bad lighting or photo angle), not to mention I am not getting any younger so maybe that is part of it.
Getting involved in another area of fitness is a good idea, I used to be into kickboxing, and I love yoga.. so maybe putting some more focus on those areas can shift my thinking.
I don't really compare myself to anyone online, I look at my body and want it to look a certain way which seems attainable since in certain light it will look great, but then in bad lighting it's like.. uch, what happened.
I am starting to consider a coach, but they would have to be very knowledgeable and someone I really trust. I have someone in mind but can't commit right now, maybe in the future I will.
I don't think it has reached the level where I need to talk to someone, but if it starts to interfere with my daily life in a significant and long term way, I will consider it.
I will keep working on it. Try to keep focus on the good parts and not the bad. It is easier said than done I'm sure!
Thanks everyone. I hope we can all find that balance.
Stef, I always said to you that you look fantastic. I think it's just all in your head, you're maybe striving for perfection. Our bodies have limits on what it can acheive. The only thing we can do is just continue what we are doing and improving each day, not to be perfect. Think of it this way, the way your body is shaped and your bf % represent 1% of the population, so you are doing something right. Most people in the general population don't even bother to better their health.2 -
Very few people see themselves as they really are. It's a shame, but human nature I suppose, we are our own worse enemy.3
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Got to agree with this above. I haven’t been active on the forum for that long but I have seen you’re cut and bulk pictures and I think that you’re progress and attitude to lifting is fantastic.
Sometimes easier to see the gains in others than yourself.
Keep up the good work
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I don't mean to make light of this.
But, I think maybe all we are saying is that anyone who start lifting wants to look better, which, necessarily, means that are dissatisfied with how they look.
It's human nature to have some insecurity...Er....It's extremely common, anyway.
But, that's where the comfort is. The comfort is in knowing that everyone feels that way. You're normal.2 -
Gotta stay off that Instagram.5
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GiddyupTim wrote: »I don't mean to make light of this.
But, I think maybe all we are saying is that anyone who start lifting wants to look better, which, necessarily, means that are dissatisfied with how they look.
It's human nature to have some insecurity...Er....It's extremely common, anyway.
But, that's where the comfort is. The comfort is in knowing that everyone feels that way. You're normal.
Yep. It's normal to be human. And by nature, comparisons happen. I think to some extent personal goals are what make those comparisons tough.
I know people that would much rather compare themselves to the couch potato crowd and be happy that they aren't a couch potato. A person in the same shape comparing themselves to the fitness beast crowd is still in the same shape, but often disappointed in their appearance or fitness gains.
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The whole reason I started lifting in HS was because I was the smallest in my class. That self image of me has followed me around the whole time. I get comments from people (good comments!) essentially saying I'm built pretty good but I look in the mirror and still see that small kid.
Never ending battle.....1 -
Definitely in this crowd. I've always easily gotten in my own head about shortcomings, physical or otherwise, which I talked about some in the "Cutting after a bulk" thread. I don't really know how to combat it, I've always just dealt with it. At times I can use it as a tool to re-focus my effort but I doubt that's the mentally healthiest path to take either.0
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piperdown44 wrote: »The whole reason I started lifting in HS was because I was the smallest in my class. That self image of me has followed me around the whole time. I get comments from people (good comments!) essentially saying I'm built pretty good but I look in the mirror and still see that small kid.
Never ending battle.....
That's exactly me, even after 5 years of lifting experience.
I try to ignore what mind says about me.1
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