Help I'm lost

yirara · July 2018

I lost all the weight I wanted to lose while living in Qatar. Most socialising there is centred around going to chain restaurants like Fuddruckers or Nandos. Plus the office canteen served warm food (great Indian, ok local, totally rubbish European) where the offered calorie count was completely off and pulled out of thin air. I still managed to lose. At Nandos I'd ask for the smallest chicken breast they had, have a few fries and a bean salad with water that just about fitted in my dinner allowance. At Fudd I usually had the smallest burger with beans on the side, no cheese (who would want American cheese anyway? It's gross) and condiments on the side. I usually went a bit over but I still lost weight, and even the small burger was more than filling for me. At the office canteen I initially went with the calorie count offered, then looked up authentic recipes and used those calorie counts. Often a subzi with rice, a bit of hummus and tabuleh, plus a big pile of paprika, cherry tomatoes and cucumber to nibble on later in the day. And a nice little piece of cheese. it usually left me about 600kcal for dinner, and I was losing just fine.

hipari · July 2018

harley79 wrote: »

I am 5'8" lol lol is that tall??

I'm also 5'8''. My maintenance varies between 2500 and 2700 (weekly averages), and averaging 2100 intake means losing for me. Sure, I'm currently in a plateau, but that's expected. I think the big issue with weight loss is that a lot of us tend to think in terms of "what can I do today to achieve immediate results" instead of "what can I realistically do for the rest of my life". If you aren't ready to give up donuts/wine/sushi/bacon/whatever for the rest of your life, you're better off figuring out a way of including those favorites in moderation, in a way you feel is sustainable. It might mean losing slower, but I think permanent results are worth it.

Also, there is no bandwagon, and no track. It's life, there's no falling off it or getting back on. It's different every day, you just have to figure out a way to alter your "average" to a direction that enables you to reach your goals.

slimgirljo15 · July 2018

VUA21 wrote: »

I am 41, a woman and 5'7". I yo-yo'd for years, then finally figured it out. So far I've lost 180lbs. It took two years to drop 170, then I did a one year recomp and let my skin catch up a bit(gained 6lbs in one year, but stopped a pants size). I've lost an additional 10lbs since coming back for a grand total of 180... Here's what I've learned.

1. Diets DON'T work. Sure, you can lose weight while on various diets, it's what happens as soon as you stop the diet that's the problem. It's our "normal" eating habits that led to the weight gain, so stopping a diet and going back to "normal" is going to lead to weight gain. You have to make a lifestyle change.
2. Changing your entire lifestyle all at once is incredibly difficult and nearly impossible to maintain. Changing ONE thing is easy, and is easily turned into a habit. Over time small changes that become your habits equals a lifestyle change.
3. There are no bad foods: Unless you are allergic to, have an intolerance of, or other medical reason to avoid/eliminate certain foods (diabetes, Celiac's, high blood pressure etc). There are no bad foods.
4. Yes, it is as simple as Calories In vs Calories Out (CICO). Consume fewer calories than you use and you will lose weight. Note: a calorie is a unit of energy, they are all the same - it's the source of the calories that varies, different sources contain different nutrients. Basically, diets of nothing but Skittles or Kale are equally bad for you. Have variety.
5. Patience!!! Weight loss is not quick not linear. It takes time, a lot of time. Plateaus happen (I just got off of a nearly 2 week plateau) all the time. I've had more than I can count.
6. There's no magic. As there is no bad food, there are no foods, pills, drinks, or anything else that magically cause weight loss.
7. Exercise is not mandatory. To lose weight, eat at a calorie deficit. That's it. Now, while exercise is not mandatory it is recommended. Both cardio and strength training, this does not mean you have to join a gym. A dedicated 30 minute walk and body weight exercises are more than sufficient. Cardio: to improve your cardiovascular health. Strength training: to improve your overall strength and health.
8. Slow progress is progress. So many people quit because they don't see results as fast as they expect to, without realizing that thier slow progress, is still progress.
9. Don't quit. We ALL have bad days and weeks. It's called being human, so if you have a bad day or week: congratulations on being human, there are 8 billion of us. The only time we truly fail, is when we quit trying!
10. Goals:. Set goal for yourself. Not just weight goals, but also activity goals. Anything that is closer to your end goal from where you are can be a goal, drop a size, walk 30 minutes a day for a week, log daily for a week....these are all goals. With goals, reward yourself (just not with food, you are not a dog). Little goals: little rewards, big goals: big rewards. Rewards can be anything from a new workout t-shirt to an hour of "me time".
11. It's okay to be angry, frustrated, and/or upset. Let it out. If nothing else vent your anger and frustrations here, we've been there and know that sometimes it gets hard.

Hope this helps, you can do it.

This..

motivatedmartha · July 2018

This - baby steps. You do not have to lose all the weight immediately. Use a food scale and log accurately, find out where your key eating problems are - be it portion control, nibbling in between meals etc etc and do one thing at a time. Over a few weeks you will then be able to move your habits so that 2100 doesn't feel horrendous. During your first few weeks don't weigh yourself - leads to disappointment if you haven't lost loads during this learning/acclimatising period. Just practice eating more appropriate portions of foods you like and avoiding foods that you don't think are really worth spending calories on. This is not a race - it is about learning how to live in a healthier way.

Depending on what you have set your activity level at on mfp you may be able to earn a few more calories each day with some exercise. Doesn't need to be dramatic, walking a bit more, perhaps swimming or dancing - anything that you enjoy. The calories for these activities are in the database and relate to your weight and height; many people plan to eat only half of calories earned as the database is overly generous.

Countless people on here have successfully lost more weight than you need to - you are no different - you can do this. Remember, the slower the process the more you will have learned those habits that will help you maintain a healthy weight forever. X

VUA21 · July 2018

harley79 wrote: »

You guys are awesome!! It sounds so simple and probably is I don't know why I think it will never be for me and that I can never achieve it!!
I'm so strong in other areas of my life uuggh

Instead of focusing on the end goal, focus on a little goal. Make yourself 3 goals: log everyday for a week, lose 5lbs, and do a total of 60 minutes of dedicated walking (doesn't matter if it's 1 day or 3 weeks - just get to 60 minutes). Or any other 3 small goals you like.

These are very realistic and easily achievable goals. Each time you reach one, make a new small goal for yourself. Keep track of them, a simple notebook is great. Anytime you feel as though you're not progressing, take a look at what you've already achieved. It'll show you exactly how far you've come.

sharonedix · July 2018

Once again everyone above has said such insightful thoughts . Surely each of you are a blessing sent to help a new friend . Please each of you add me . I dont know how to add each of you or I would

lolly2414 · July 2018

Like someone else said before, maybe think of a future date and focus on it. I started my weight loss/get healthy plan at the beginning of May. I'm 38 and started out at around 244 lbs and my first big goal is to be under 200 by New Year's. I've lost 18 lbs so far and am on track to be right around 200 by then. Then if I achieve that goal I would like to be at 160 by my 40th birthday in October of next year. I want to be able to say that I'm in better shape on my 40th birthday than I was on my 30th birthday. Even if I miss my goals by a handful of lbs, I still feel better knowing I'm heading in the right direction. Perhaps since you said you're 48, you could focus on where you'd like to be by your 50th birthday? Or focus on getting to the next clothing size down from where you're at right now. That can be a good motivator.

For me, changing things a little at a time helps. I still allow myself to drink a soda when I eat out, but I don't keep any in my house so I can't drink it at home. I allow myself to eat out for 1 lunch per week and 1 dinner per week, but try to choose healthier options at restaurants. I try to eat smaller portions (use a small plate instead of the standard size dinner plate) and I log everything I eat. Also, anything you know you'll binge on (for me that would be ice cream) keep it out of the house. Yet, still allow yourself some treats as long as they fit in your calorie goal. I still allow myself some potato chips or chocolate, but only when I can squeeze it into my calories. Then try to be more active, even if it's just walking more around the house and working up to taking walks around the block. Any added exercise will help you be more fit, but will also allow you more calories to eat.

Good luck! You can do this!

Spliner1969 · July 2018

harley79 wrote: »

I'm 48 and weigh 323lbs. I'm at a list on where to start and Everytime I try a new program like WW or low carb or keto my mind sticks to it for a week or 2 and then gives up or I change plans to suit the way I want to eat.. I'm starting back on fitness pal even though the calories of 2100 is freaking me the hell out .. I don't know where to turn and feel like it's hopeless
P.S I also have to stop saying "Screw it" eat and be happy

Tammy

Low carb, keto, generally don't work for a lot of people. It's not as important how you eat as how much you eat. You also don't have to starve, but you're not going to be able to drown everything in butter or add sugar to everything in order to stay under your calorie goals. 2100 is quite a bit. I'm 6'2" tall, male, and eat around 2200 on average when cutting slowly. That's with 4 days a week of heavy exercise for up to two hours at a time.

The problem is that the food industry tries to sell you things that taste good because you'll buy more. That's exactly why you see the checkout registers at the stores lined with candy and high calorie snacks rather than low calorie snacks and veggies. Heck grab one king size candy bar or a little six pack of gem doughnuts and you can easily blow 500-600 calories. I really wish stores would remove all the junk from their checkout isles. Would probably help parents keep their sanity a bit better as well.

Start taking a look at what you eat on a regular basis and adjust it. You could start by getting a kitchen scale, and accurately log everything you eat for one day just to see how many calories you consume without trying to limit yourself. Then the next day take a look at what you eat and investigate ways of tweaking recipes or substituting items to lower the calorie counts. It's not rocket science, but you have to be diligent and willing to learn to eat new things, and prepare food differently.

My mother grew up on a farm and they rarely had things like sugar in the house. Once she married and had kids she always had sugar in the house. She learned that adding it to a lot of things she cooked made it taste better. So I was raised with everything coated in butter, enhanced with sugar, and it tasted wonderful. Today, I simply can't cook like that. I've learned to make my favorite recipes from childhood differently. I choose leaner meats, different types of meats (ground turkey, ground pork, lean ground beef, etc.) and eat more steamed veggies along side of it. I learned to like salads but also learned that there are light dressings out there that are 1/3 or less the calories of the full blown fatty and sugary ones.

Good luck! You can do it if you put your mind to it. Exercise can help you earn more calories as well, try walking a mile or two a day.

Vgetskinny · July 2018

What always helps me is to focus on ADDING to my food and drink intake! Do not think about taking away. Instead, add PROTEIN, FIBER and WATER. I set alarms for myself on the computer (where I usually work all day) and on my cell phone, which is almost always with me. It reminds me at 11am to drink water, 12pm eat protein, 1pm water, 2pm Eat Fiber, 3pm drink water, and so on. This makes me feel more full and satisfied, and before I know it I am consuming less calories because I have made better choices in order to get the high protein and fiber. I do keep the carbs low for the most part, but I never start with that. Each week I tweak it just a little to make it healthier, but my first weeks are all about ADDING the right three components.
PROTEIN, FIBER and WATER.

Help I'm lost

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