Fidelity Part Deux...

odusgolp
odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
edited October 2024 in Chit-Chat
Do you think men and women are meant to be monogamously committed until death?

Please support your position in a grammatically correct five paragraph essay.... or not.
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Replies

  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    I believe that this varies by individual person. Some people are built for monogamy, and others are not.
  • Jennjenn1974
    Jennjenn1974 Posts: 350 Member
    I think it's a choice. You choose to be in a committed relationship or you choose to be a cheating *kitten*.


    Many people try to choose both. I choose not to cheat. I have no reason to nor any desire to. If you do, however, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship.

    And the talking out of my *kitten* will stop in...3...2...1....
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
    I certainly think that they are capable. I'm not quite sure about "meant to".. meant to by whom? Are you asking if we have a genetic predisposition to stray? Are you asking if religious justifications are still applicable?
  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
    The concept of monogamy was created when life expectancy was 30 years - I'm just sayin'

    Serial monogamy is where it's at now-a-days.
  • thkelly
    thkelly Posts: 466 Member
    what's the over/under on how many pages this makes it before it's locked?
  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
    Some animals are monogamous but most animals are not. And being as humans are animals we are not 'meant' to do anything and have socially many times in many lands changed our beliefs on the social norms of monogamy.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Always a tough question to really explore. I think "meant to" is where it breaks down for me. I don't know if we're "meant" to do anything - that is, preordained to carry out some set of expected behaviors. I think we are influenced by a number of factors like parents, geography, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, friends, schooling, etc. (up to and including astrology - hey, I've heard some very good explanations for how astrology can influence our personalities).

    I think men and women are "meant" to make this choice in an informed and shared manner. That is, I don't begrudge people for believing either. I definitely don't side with either extreme. I don't think people are "supposed" to get married, despite numerous societal messages telling us this. And I don't necessarily think people are "supposed" to be monogamous. I think people make choices and we live with those choices. Hopefully those choices don't bring about pain to ourselves and others.
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
    I couldnt put my loved on thru the hell of cheating. I know it would kill me, cause me pain and anguish.......I dont know if I d be able to continue

    Id never choose to do that to my loved one............I m truly happy, no way I would cheat. Ive been with the same person 28 years, 2 months and thank God everyday for who I have............
  • kunibob
    kunibob Posts: 608 Member
    Some folks can do it, some can't. It's not just faithful or cheat, though...open relationships are always an option, and if done right (like any relationship) they can be committed and fulfilling. In any relationship, open or closed, honesty and communication are what will make it work.

    Personally, I've always tended toward monogamy and am happy to stay that way. :smile:
  • AliDarling
    AliDarling Posts: 373
    i married my husband for life. if you're not willing to make that strong of a commitment, perhaps you shouldn't get married
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    It's not just faithful or cheat, though...open relationships are always an option, and if done right (like any relationship) they can be committed and fulfilling.

    ^ That.

    also, one could always remain single.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I'm not talking about choosing to... I mean meant to....

    Like penguins. Penguins simply are. It's not really a "choice".

    Then again, freaking Kowalski is dam* smart, I could be totally wrong.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    Well then... No. Humans definitely have to make a concentrated effort to be monogamous hahahaha
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    i married my husband for life. if you're not willing to make that strong of a commitment, perhaps you shouldn't get married

    Don't judge me with that tone of voice.
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    Well then... No. Humans definitely have to make a concentrated effort to be monogamous hahahaha


    this is true.......................................hummmmmmm this is a good question. :devil:
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    Do you think men and women are meant to be monogamously committed until death?

    Please support your position in a grammatically correct five paragraph essay.... or not.

    speaking scientifically, humans as "animals" are not meant to be monogomous..men are here to spread the seed and women are here to nest...that's strickly scientifically speaking. But there's exception to every rule.
  • LisaKyle11
    LisaKyle11 Posts: 662 Member
    i think as a species....No. it's a cultural belief and for some it's a religious belief (or non belief). my husband and i have had many conversations about monogamy and it's challenges along with our natural tendencies (i feel) to not be in only one consistent relationship (sexual) for life. it's about choices. i choose to be monogamous, my husband does, but we can both admit to it being a challenge at times. marriage and relationships are constant works in progress.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    i think as a species....No. it's a cultural belief and for some it's a religious belief (or non belief). my husband and i have had many conversations about monogamy and it's challenges along with our natural tendencies (i feel) to not be in only one consistent relationship (sexual) for life. it's about choices. i choose to be monogamous, my husband does, but we can both admit to it being a challenge at times. marriage and relationships are constant works in progress.

    I really wish we could bump knuckles right now.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Seems odd to read the responses that limit things to monogamy or cheating. I interpreted the question as whether humans were basically "wired" for monogamy. The issue of cheating has nothing to do with monogamy. Cheating is an issue of breaking an agreement.
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    i married my husband for life. if you're not willing to make that strong of a commitment, perhaps you shouldn't get married

    Amen to that.. ... Relationships are about a strong foundation of trust and intimacy and without that you really have nothing.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    i think as a species....No. it's a cultural belief and for some it's a religious belief (or non belief). my husband and i have had many conversations about monogamy and it's challenges along with our natural tendencies (i feel) to not be in only one consistent relationship (sexual) for life. it's about choices. i choose to be monogamous, my husband does, but we can both admit to it being a challenge at times. marriage and relationships are constant works in progress.

    You articulated what I was trying get across in my original reply much better than I did. You talk gooder.
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    I believe if you're in a relationship with someone then you don't cheat out of respect for that person.... Yes both men and women's eyes wonder - Its natural instinct....

    And yes, I admit I can be a little flirtatiously fun with male friends - so too is my partner with female friends....but that's where it ends... Yes we have had a couple if splits over the past 14/15 years we have been together but we have always come back to being together - it seems fated for us.,,even if this last one try at our relationship fails, we will always have a very strong bond.

    I don't think any two people are meant to be together but certainly people are drawn to one another which in turn (if the relationship lasts) creates a strong bond, trust and respect for one another.

    Some might say I'm being hypocritical but if you knew my story then you'd understand where I was coming from.

    I certainly do not believe in open relationships.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    i think as a species....No. it's a cultural belief and for some it's a religious belief (or non belief). my husband and i have had many conversations about monogamy and it's challenges along with our natural tendencies (i feel) to not be in only one consistent relationship (sexual) for life. it's about choices. i choose to be monogamous, my husband does, but we can both admit to it being a challenge at times. marriage and relationships are constant works in progress.

    You articulated what I was trying get across in my original reply much better than I did. You talk gooder.

    She does talk gooder!
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
    I learned in college the thing that differs us from the rest of the animal kingdom is that humans use logic...........according to my old philosophy instructor as my source to cite

    Ive thought about this for years, when people kill, when people destroy, when people do things that are dispicable.......

    I have a choice, to be monogomous or non monogomous.............I choose not to be non monogomous. , ,meaning, Im monogomous. , lol..........

    my choice, my logic

    Im the most happest fella in the world and I choose to keep it that way.............

    Hope that clears things up about the OP question . I make the choice, I choose not to lie or decieve , or break my contract/commitment...............Lloyd

    also, this comes from a person who is 56..........been around the block a few times and have learned many valuable lessons from experience here.....
  • NeuroticVirgo
    NeuroticVirgo Posts: 3,671 Member
    I believe that this varies by individual person. Some people are built for monogamy, and others are not.

    This.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    No, I don't. I think some people are suited to monogamy and some completely aren't, and which you are is down to your nature. You can't be blamed for it.

    I choose monogamy, but I am aware many people choose otherwise, and that's ok.
  • Queen_JessieA
    Queen_JessieA Posts: 1,059 Member
    I absolutely believe that my husband and I are suited to monogamy. We were talking about this at lunch. He knows what it feels like to have a parent who cheated and tore up a marriage and family. He said he couldn't come home and look me or our three children in the eyes and know that he had cheated. I am the same way. I have no desire for anyone BUT him. He is my soul mate and my best friend. We have been together since I was 16 and he was 18. We will be celebrating 13 years of marriage in September.
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    I do personally believe in committed, monogamous relationships and I also believe in staying married if at all possible.

    Whatever *your* position on this, you'd better make sure the person you're with understands your expectations and that you are both agreeable to whatever form your relationship is going to take. Me being with someone who doesn't feel the same way I do would be disastrous to me emotionally (and perhaps criminally as well! :devil: )
  • cantjustcant
    cantjustcant Posts: 1,027 Member
    I think people who cheat are extremely disrespectful. If you are unhappy in a relationship then get out before you screw around. Don't destroy the other person's self esteem and sense of self worth because you aren't man/woman enough to step away.

    Ohhh and after you split up with the person you cheated on don't send them text pics of your weewee telling them you miss them.
  • blnorman29
    blnorman29 Posts: 148 Member
    Are we "wired" for monogamy? No. Are we capable of it? Yes. Does that mean it is for everyone? No.

    When you enter into a relationship, be sure you are both satisfied and happy with your arrangement, whatever that may be. Your expectations should be clear from the start, and should they change during the course of the relationship, the best policy is honesty and open communication.
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