Can’t live like this anymore

Hulkjacked
Hulkjacked Posts: 3 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hi, my name is Jonah. I’m 24 and weigh 495 lbs. Yeah I know it’s a lot and I feel it. I have a two year old son and keeping up with him is the biggest chore of my life because of where I am at in life. I hate it ..... I can’t do things he wants because I have to worry about if there is seating or if I have to move to much to chase him. It’s selfish and I hate it. I want him to experience everything he wants to but I feel like I’m holding him back. On top of that my marriage is falling apart because I’m lazy , facts are facts. I don’t wanna do much a lot of the time. I suffer from major depression, a big part because I can’t stand to be me and I’m ashamed of who I have become. But that ends now!! I have to get back in shape. For me and my family. This is the beginning of something great and I’ll take all the help I can get hahahaha! If you have any comments please feel free to share and questions as well I’ll answer 100% honest . Thanks for your time !
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Replies

  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    Welcome! You just have to eat less, but for a long time.
  • bluvvitch
    bluvvitch Posts: 8 Member
    Congrats on starting your weight loss journey 😁
  • DBNGUY786
    DBNGUY786 Posts: 54 Member
    You are welcome. Believe me in my weight loss I have started and stopped so many times it’s not funny. To say it gets easier is a lie but if you are consistent it gets more tolerable. All the best in your journey and I really hope you achieve what you need to achieve.
  • Hulkjacked
    Hulkjacked Posts: 3 Member
    Oh man geez !! You guys are being way more helpful than I even imagined and I’m grateful. I thank you all this is very eye opening .
  • Priyanka2883
    Priyanka2883 Posts: 34 Member
    Hey there first of all I would like to say never be ashamed of how you look . You are trying to be the best version of yourself that's amazing but don't be ashamed of your own body. And it's going to be fine . If anytime you need tips or do' s and donts feel free to message me. I have recently lost 11 kg, so I may be helpful to you. and go ahead kill that fat.
  • kjarvo
    kjarvo Posts: 236 Member
    edited August 2018
    I agree, you can still enjoy the foods that you like, just far less of them. And find things that you like that are low calories, such as melon, cucumber etc. which will provide additional physical bulk for your stomach.

    Then you can start looking at fancier diets if you want to.

    But well done on starting this! :)
  • amgreenwell
    amgreenwell Posts: 1,267 Member
    Way to own it. Knowing the challenges that face you and having reasons to change are some of the biggest hurdles for people! You got this!! Get going and don't stop until you've reached your goals!!
  • Kathryn247
    Kathryn247 Posts: 570 Member
    Hi and welcome! Start easy on yourself, you'll have a much better chance of succeeding. Any improvement is better than what you were doing before, and this is all about slow and steady. Just set up your account and start tracking what you eat, whether it's Doritos or broccoli. You can totally do this with determination and patience. <3
  • Tori2019
    Tori2019 Posts: 5 Member
    Hi Jonah! Well done for getting started and for asking for support - so many people around the world here cheering you on. Hello from the UK :)
  • Reckoner67
    Reckoner67 Posts: 3,344 Member
    Hey Jonah, congrats on taking steps to change! What struck me about your post were the comments about laziness and depression--man, depression has been my battle forever. I think the number one thing that's derailed my attempts to eat healthier in the past has been depression, because I'll start strong but depression almost always rears its ugly head and before I know it I just can't bring myself to *care* about anything, especially my own health.

    Feel free to shoot me a message if you find yourself in this spot! I've found a few things that have helped me to fight back; sadly, haven't found any specific magic bullet yet, but with a toolbox of things (sleep patterns, exercise, dealing with stressors, etc) I'm getting daily wins.

    Congrats on taking your first steps to a healthier you, though! Your son is gonna appreciate it, too :)
  • makkimakki2018
    makkimakki2018 Posts: 414 Member
    I think you might wanna start off with swiming. It'll apply less impact to your joints. You could even get pool weights and use those to workout while in the pool. All in one place you can get low impact cardio and weight training. I hope there is a nearby pool you know of indoor/outdoor doesn't matter.

    When you start putting on muscle you will burn fat a lot faster. You may even eventually see that your loose skin sits on your muscles nicely. Most importantly though (watch what you eat). I like to think its 80% diet and 20% exercise.

    Best of luck.
  • sdereski
    sdereski Posts: 3,406 Member
    Congratulations on taking the first and most important step in your weight loss journey - admitting the truth to yourself. We are here to support you, and already you have received some great advice. Personally, I agree with @AnvilHead
    Don't make this more difficult than it has to be. Another bit of advice. Go for a walk. Each day, go a bit further. Even if you are starting by going around a block.

    Wishing you all the best and cheering you on from Canada. :)
  • AndrastesKnickerWeasels
    AndrastesKnickerWeasels Posts: 7 Member
    Welcome to MFP Jonah, and congratulations on starting your journey! I saw you talking about your issues with depression and I simply had to comment. I am also diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders and they are currently my biggest obstacles when it comes to getting things in order and losing weight. It can be rough, and extremely hard to find the motivation to even get up some days, never mind actually care about what your eating and your activity levels, but you can do it.

    For me, I try to focus on the little victories every day: getting out of bed and going to bed at set times, making sure I get outside at least once a day, even if it's just a ten minute walk around my block and not getting hung up over the scales. Some days are harder than others, but you can do it, for yourself and your family!

    Good luck, I believe in you!!
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Hi Jonah, You've come to the right place..
    A tip I learned a long time ago.. don't be too hard on yourself, take it easy, you have a fair journey ahead. So don't try eating 1200 cals and exercising till you can't move in the first week. if you make the process too hard it will be difficult to maintain. As theyve said above, fill out the questions and eat what mfp says. No special food, eat things you'd like, but make them fit into your calories. Idk how much you can do physically it might not be much right now at your weight but it will get easier. Much luck to you ☺
  • Fuzzipeg
    Fuzzipeg Posts: 2,301 Member
    Keep in mind there will be a bad day or days, put them behind you and move on, try not to let them happen together, you will be in a different place in 6 months. You have the greatest inspiration in your son.

    Take a pride in yourself, you were in a bad place but you are taking steps to put yourself into a much better one this is a very big decision and deserves recognition and applause. Take it, one day at a time.

    Something which could really help is increasing your fibre intake, do it steadily not as a one off regular increase, it can take a system by surprise to do it too fast. I hope in a few weeks you will be achieving the mfp guided level at least, even if you need to boost your intake with psyllium capsules. Along side this I hope you can increase your water intake. Having more fluid in the system helps the body adapt to the new you. I say water because it is more easy for your body to use than even low/no calorie fizzy drinks. Water in addition, use that part of the app and I hope you will see the "glass" overflow, achievement.

    I've reduced by a fair bit, its only with the last 12 lb I've felt, its easier to move, arms hang more comfortably, still room for improvement. It will not happen in a rush but it will come, hang on in there and learn what you like and how much is reasonable for your activity level. Exercise may be difficult remember it takes more calories to stand tall than it does to slouch, sitting tall is also better than slouching only not use quit as many calories. Standing tall will help you feel better about yourself.
  • kballard1966
    kballard1966 Posts: 13 Member
    Hi Jonah, you've got this and we are here to help. I'm getting back on track today because I'm steadily gaining back all I have lost and then some. Together we can achieve! Please feel free to friend me.
  • jondspen
    jondspen Posts: 253 Member
    edited August 2018
    Jonah - first off grtz for trying to get a handle on your life and weight. It's not going to be easy, but it's not impossible.

    Second, I agree with above postings - put your info in here and start logging everything you eat. I would highly suggest you get a food scale and weigh everything you can. Its a pain at first, but after a while you get pretty good at judging portion sizes. FYI, just about everyone under estimates the calories they eat.

    Third, I wouldn't bit off more than you can chew - figuratively and literally :wink: !!! Cut back on the unhealthy snacks as much as you can, but realize it takes 21 days to form or break a habit, so don't beat yourself up if you eat some cookies, or just got to have a cheeseburger. I usually can go a week or two straight now and eat good, but still have to give in every once in a while, just to keep my sanity and not say "F this healthy diet crap" and quit. This from a guy in decent shape and been doing this for years. I quit smoking 17 years ago, and still get cravings - just now instead of 1 every hour, it's 1 every year - healthy eating isn't much different IMO.

    Fourth, exercise would be good to incorporate, but like I said above, start slow and realistic - or maybe not at all for right now. I'm sure keeping up with a 2 y/o old is enough exercise in itself.

    Fifth, you really need to go see a doctor and get some input and guidance from them. This is #1 the most important thing above all. If you can swing it, I would also get a consult with a nutritionist, since most MDs are not experts in new diet/health research going on.

    Finally, get a hobby or something you can do to take your mind off your cravings, stress, anxiety, and depression. If late night TV is when you grab that bag of cookies/chips, try and get out of the routine. Eat veggie during your TV time, or maybe do something completely different (read, play a game, music, learn a new language) to help break the cycle.

    Good luck, and anytime you get weak - just remember that your kid will mimic your actions - be that staying on track, or picking yourself back up and keep on trying when you don't!!!

  • Streetknife
    Streetknife Posts: 1 Member
    Portion control is key, and can be difficult to gauge until you get the hang of it. Check out this graphic showing how to use your own hand as a guide to measuring portions. It's super helpful (and eye opening!): https://visual.ly/community/infographic/health/hand-guide-portion-control
  • allisonlane161
    allisonlane161 Posts: 269 Member
    Don't look too far down the road; take it one day at a time. Today could be the heaviest you are for the rest of your life. Try to look at this as an exciting time and an opportunity given to you for you to craft your happiness.
  • missysippy930
    missysippy930 Posts: 2,577 Member
    You can do this! One day at a time! Those days turn into weeks, the weeks to months and before you know it, you will be able to keep up with your son. The victories will encourage you to keep going! You have a fantastic incentive to motivate you, so just keep moving forward! The very best of luck to you!
  • Millicent3015
    Millicent3015 Posts: 374 Member
    Hi Jonah, I too have major depression. I'm symptom free at the moment, and hope to stay that way for a long time, but you never know. I got called lazy for years and believed it, too. I wasn't lazy, though. I was depressed. The most active person on the planet can become virtually catatonic if they have depression. Sluggishness, lethargy, extreme fatigue, and loss of interest/motivation are all symptoms, which on the outside looks like "laziness" to those who don't see how you're struggling to be more active and engaged.

    So I'd say cut yourself some slack. Start gently and don't try to go all out. Do what activity you can. I did a ten minute walk this morning. I may do 40 minutes of strength exercises tomorrow, or I may not. It depends how I'm feeling. I try for 20 minutes a day, which I built up from 5 minutes a day in the beginning. Gradually replace the less nutritious food you eat with more nutritious food. Log everything, even when you overeat. There's no judgement here, and it will help you to look at what you're eating and figure out where you can make small changes, which can then become bigger, more long term changes.

    I wouldn't embark on any grand diet plan that doesn't teach you how to retrain your eating habits, or that insist you restrict some food or the other. You can make a small start and build up from there. This is a long journey you're embarking on, and there will be some pitfalls along the way. What matters when you have a setback is getting back on the road and carrying on. I'm a great believer in baby steps. It doesn't matter the length of one's stride, it's how you go the distance that's important.
  • Brabo_Grip
    Brabo_Grip Posts: 285 Member
    Being me there for my infant son was the inmpetus for me to lose 95 lbs and keep it off for the last 4 or so years. Feel free to ad me as a friend.
  • GOT_Obsessed
    GOT_Obsessed Posts: 817 Member
    Best of luck on your journey! You can do this.

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