Sabotage
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Interesting topic. I had no problem sticking to my weight loss plan a few years ago, now that I'm married I am finding it much more difficult. My wife seems almost offended if I eat only half of the portions she gives me. Regardless I guess I just have to be even more disciplined. My wife thinks it's silly to count calories but it works for me so I'm sticking with it. Stand your ground and remind your spouse how important it is to lose weight.2
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Your husband suggesting you eat oatmeal that’s already prepared because you are in a rush is not sabotage. As noted, you didn’t have to eat it.
Something I foun out about weight loss- I had to become more assertive to succeed.5 -
I really don’t think your hubby was trying to sabotage you. Mine used to say the same types of things. “In the moment” I just say no thank you and move on. When we get to a point where we can talk I tell him how I feel and he does the same. 100% of the time he doesn’t even realize what he has done. He truly supports what I am doing and is happy that I am feeling better. He is also really liking “if you know what I mean 👀” the results! He still says things every now and then, but a gentle reminder is all it takes. Just let your husband know it’s hard starting out, and you really need his support. I guarantee he will be your biggest cheerleader when he starts to notice the results!3
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Motorsheen wrote: »dang.... I thought this tread was about something entirely different:
That being said, just have a direct conversation with him about your nutritional intentions.
Best of luck!
Read this whole thread, and couldn't believe no one commented on this post. Well played, well played, lol0 -
He is playing a control game with you....sounds much deeper than the weight issue. I would try talking to him. Explain how it makes you feel. Does your success make him feel insecure? Be strong...you can do this.8
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walters514 wrote: »He is playing a control game with you....sounds much deeper than the weight issue. I would try talking to him. Explain how it makes you feel. Does your success make him feel insecure? Be strong...you can do this.
Good lord it was some leftover oatmeal - I hate when food goes to waste and will often eat something or ask my husband to eat something that isn’t our first choice to avoid having to throw something out. Mornings are busy and hectic in most houses and I see this as being a quick suggestion in the moment rather than sabotage or some sort of nefarious control.
I can’t believe how big of a deal people are making out of this. Oh wait it’s MFP. Never mind.10 -
walters514 wrote: »He is playing a control game with you....sounds much deeper than the weight issue. I would try talking to him. Explain how it makes you feel. Does your success make him feel insecure? Be strong...you can do this.
You got all that from oatmeal? Come on now.
They were in a rush and he suggested eating what was readily and easily available. She just needs to have a chat with him.7 -
Sabotage would be "hey this oatmeal isn't calorie dense" and then you find out it's like 250 calories after eating it. But suggesting to eat it left you with an option. Eh, it's ONE meal. One meal doesn't define everything you're doing for the rest of the week. Shake it off, then move on.
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Motorsheen wrote: »dang.... I thought this tread was about something entirely different:
That being said, just have a direct conversation with him about your nutritional intentions.
Best of luck!
"I know you planned it"0 -
mariececilia10 wrote: »He’s a jerk. Ignore him and do you.
Lol, really?
Maybe he was just making a logical suggestion seeing as how they were pressed for time? I dunno, doesn't seem that heinous to me.2 -
walters514 wrote: »He is playing a control game with you....sounds much deeper than the weight issue.
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Some Quaker oatmeal? Log it, move the rest of your food day around, and let it go.
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What happens when you go to a brunch?
Or the girls at the office bring donuts?
Or it's that month where a bunch of people have birthdays and the cake is flowing?
Or you go to dinner with your girlfriends and they order a pitcher and four appetizers to share?
These are fairly common, real life temptations people face.
Look at his "sabotage" as training for your self-control muscles. The food temptions don't go away - you will drive past a McDonalds or Dunkin Donuts. Someone will bring home chips and candy.
So instead of trying to adjust the world to your diet, which is never going to happen, try to look at it in a less sensitive way.
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The other night I got off work late and just did not have the energy to make what I had planned for dinner. My husband said "why don't you have the leftover spaghetti?" I told him I hadn't planned the calories for spaghetti so I heated up the spaghetti for him and I had something else. (Ok, I hadn't planned the calories for spaghetti and the ice cream I wanted!)
I'm telling this story because this is really how adults handle these everyday type of situations. My husband wasn't sabotaging my efforts, he was making a suggestion. When someone makes a suggestion I am free to either follow it or not.
Like so many people have already said, it was a bowl of oatmeal. Take a deep breath and give both yourself and your husband a break. Now you know that next time you can just say "thanks, that won't work" and make your shake.2
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