Being overweight but seen as thin

I love the @middlehaitch and @GottaBurnEmAll photo comparisons at the same height: A very clear illustration of why overall body configuration really matters in determining a good weight. Both look great!

My friends tended to tell me at SW that I "wasn't fat" when I would describe myself accurately as fat; it was a combination of being nice to me, and (for some) deluding themselves (they were heavier). What I knew, and they didn't, was that underneath a very (very) substantial fat layer (mid-180s at 5'5"), despite broad shoulders and big hands/arms, I was basically built like a 14-year-old boy, not a 60-year-old woman: Narrow pelvis, no breasts.

Beyond that, because I was very active when obese (good CV fitness, decent strength), parts of my body looked more firm and less (for lack of a better term - apologies) doughy than many women of my BF%. Face and arms show more in public than belly, hips, thighs do, and the latter were where I was keeping a lot of my wobbly bits hidden under clothes.

So, I got the "too thin" for a while after losing, until (1) they got used to the new me, and (2) I got some glycogen replenishment and loose-skin shrinkage with maintenance eating and the passage of time, so I didn't look as haggard as I frankly did at age 60 right after losing 50+ pounds in a bit under a year.

A fitness instructor who sees me only occasionally saw me shortly after weight loss (after last seeing me obese), then again several months later at the very same weight. On the 2nd post-loss occasion, she told me that when she first saw me, she was glad I had lost weight, but thought I looked worrisomely thin, but on the second occasion looked fit and healthy. Trust me, a longtime-active 60-year-old woman isn't building enough muscle in 3-4 months to make much difference in appearance, and as a fit woman and triathlon coach herself with no horse in the race, I trust her observations.

ETA: I even had a health care practitioner (PA or NP, I think the former but not sure) dispute me when I described myself as "obese". I told her to do the BMI calc . . . she had to admit I was correct. She just wasn't used to seeing pretty-fit obese people, and we look a bit different.

In my experience, post menopausal women carry their weight different than women that still have menses. I went through menopause at age 42 (I mean I was done with it), but I honestly didn't notice much difference until I hit my mid-50s. Then fat started accumulating around my middle (both front and back), and it just sits differently on the body. It's a weird thing, and so different when I was always worried about my hips and thighs. And I notice it on men as well. My husband weighed the same for years, but when he hit his 50s, he started putting on weight around the middle - his legs and butt and chest remained the same, but his gut got bigger. I think it is a change in hormones.

Oh yeah, I had this when I first started losing. (infact it was the reason I didn't tell anyone aside from my partner about it until I lost about 4kg and inches across my chest and hips)

I've alway been a little bit chunky. Not just fat, but also muscular. I am 159cm (so quite short) and have a fairly hourglass shape. I generally carry my weight well (mostly in my boobs and my thighs).

I do judo. Weight is a thing that people talk about casually because it is useful to know when you're training with someone, how close they are to your weight category (men and women). I would regularly have people assume that I was 10-15kg lighter than I actually was. And were forever surprised how much I weighted when I told them (so many convos along the lines of: *me telling myself off for doing a rubbish throw* Them: "Yeah but I've got at least 10kg on you" Me: "I'm not sure you do.." Them: "I'm in the under 73kg category". Me: "Soooo I'm a little bit heavier than you then")

Of course these were the same people who were shocked when I told them I was losing weight.

For reference my bmi was borderline obese.

I think some of the issues is that I've always been overweight. There was a time some years ago when I was very fit and bulked up a little, when I was probably a healthy body fat percentage, but was still officially overweight. But I think most people just thought that what I looked like is what I was supposed to look like at a healthy weight, (especially as I did lots of sports and was pretty fit) when that just wasn't the case.

yirara wrote: »

I probably have some body dysmorphic issues. A very good friend of mine as well. She's constantly surprised that I don't fit into her clothes (she is petite, even if she's equally tall as me )

Anyway, before I lost weight I was 76kg at 169cm. My friend thinks I always looked slim, and I guess part of that is because I do have a long neck and a rather small head, with very thin elven hair I also never had a big belly, and my collar bones, wide shoulders and wide pelvis bones poked out, tiny wrists. All padding was literally stuck on upper arms, legs, bum and hips.

So are there other people who think they fit into this odd category? Are there people who are/were repeatedly told they are slim while being overweight?

Just curious, really. Also would love to see photos of e.g. plus size models or other people who fit this category.

After seeing your pics in the 'uterus' thread, I get what you are saying.

I see you as slim too.

I did check out your arms and legs, just because of this post, and yes your weight is carried there, and not on your torso (complete opposite of me), but both your arms and legs are very nicely shaped.

Sorry I can't help with pics of a similar build.

Cheers, h.

ETA: if I wasn't purposefully checking you out, your arms and legs wouldn't have got a 2nd look. I would have just thought nicely built slim woman.

meagan8376 wrote: »

People say if I loose anymore weight I’ll be too skinny however I’m considered overweight by five pounds, I’m chunky. Society has changed with the millennials, they don’t seem to mind chunk.

Actually it's more likely that because 70% of the US population is overweight, overweight is average. Because you're smaller than the average size, you're seen as being thin. It's about perspective, I'm a 5'7" woman, in Japan I'm seen as very tall, in the UK I'm average, in Sweeden I'm short. I'm overweight as well, but get told that I'm thin, because I'm just thinner than the average person.

kksmom1789 wrote: »

I am 5ft tall and weigh 166lbs so def in the obese category I wear size 12/14 jeans but I have a friend / coworker that is constantly telling me how skinny I look and she always seems to do it on days that I feel like I am a stuffed can of biscuits lol also when I look at myself in the mirror sometimes I don't feel super over weight I actually feel good about myself... I think I am just weird

We wear a similar size pants (size 14 not quite reaching to the 12s yet) I'm 5'2 and 167lbs and my mom keeps telling me I'm "so slender" and I just....yes I am smaller than I was before but....my BMI is still obese!

I think the trouble is that people think we are losing weight based on aesthetics & possibly even self hatred. Maybe they are trying to be encouraging/supportive by saying we are good here. But it's really a health concern being obese. There's some debate about the overweight category, because of muscle and activity level & waist circumference etc. But obesity is pretty much obesity, unless you're a body builder or smth intense. It would work out better for everyone if "skinny/slender" etc weren't our only compliments. Because I won't deny I carry my weight well. I look cute as heck, especially now I've dropped almost 40lbs. I look awesome. But not skinny. Not slender. Lmao.

In my adult life I have been anywhere from 155 pounds (due to bulimia) to 310#. Only when I weighed 155# did anyone think I was skinny. I'm 6'.