Self confidence running

Madsocks
Madsocks Posts: 54 Member
in Motivation and Support
Anyone struggle with their self confidence affecting their exercise? I'll go to the gym (on the rare ocassions I get chance to) and use a treadmill, cross trainer etc but when it comes to doing road running or going out on my lunch for a run, I just can't do it. Many times I've drove to a place to do a run, and I've just not been able to get out of the car and do it, I just end up going back home. :-( I'm in a perfect location with work; on a circular business park and 3 and a bit laps is a 5k, but I don't have the self confidence to go out because I just think people will be watching this fat chuffer plodding down the street out of breath (because I haven't been the gym for a few months, my stamina has gone down quite a bit).

I just need help to get over it and to just have the confidence to get out there and get on with it. I have done parkrun many times, but that's only because there are several hundred other people doing it and I can blend in, but it's different when I'm doing it on my own. I see people posting runs on my Strava from between 2-3 miles to 16-17 miles and I just wish I could go out and do it.

Replies

  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Just do it.

    It's as simple or as difficult as you want to make it.
  • orangegato
    orangegato Posts: 6,572 Member
    You do you.
    Why not start waking and build up to running? And wear earbuds/listen to music so you can tune everything out.
  • Panini911
    Panini911 Posts: 2,325 Member
    i hear you. especially the gym, when i went it was a university gym and all the pretty girls were there in their fancy workout clothes looking like a milliion dollars. And all the cute guys. But, i just ignored it all and got in my zone. Screw them. Mind over matter, force myself to go.

    for running...well i guess i learned from the above. I started running on a treadmill in a much smaller gym so maybe that helped. Then I just naturally transitioned outside. I think going with my dog helped a ton.

    two more hurdles were running at lunch at work (so having to change at work) and then running with a group of strangers (running group). Baby steps. At this point i'll stop to run errands (grab a coffee or something from pharmacy) after a run :P I don't care.
  • kdbulger
    kdbulger Posts: 396 Member
    Yes. So, I'm fine with running, but for me it's weightlifting. I want so badly to start lifting heavy at the gym, but I'm just so scared of being stared at while I fumble my way through the first few sessions, trying to learn how to use the equipment and figure out my starting weights and use proper form. I find it very intimidating and would love for someone to teach me properly, but that's costly.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,534 Member
    This is an opportunity. Don’t let it slip by.

    To change we have to push ourselves out of our comfort zone. I wouldn’t have lost weight without becoming more assertive. Just like negativity feeds negativity, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone will strengthen your resolve in ways you can carry into other areas.

    As suggested, get out and start walking. Walking easily becomes running if that’s what you want to do. Something I learned from exercise was the power of incrementalism. Incrementalism is the foundation of weight loss. Lots of good stuff to be had in this.

    As to what others may think, push back against your brain’s negative thinking habit with some facts. Think it through. What makes sense to me may not work for you. But consider that about 25% of people are just crazy. Of the remaining 75%, a vast majority have their own negativity habit and spend most of their time looking for a negativity fix. Driving a car, politics, internet lunacy of the day, family, coworker, strangers on the street are all potential outlets for various grievances, real or imagined. Going around trying to get approval from the world at large is a fruitile undertaking.

    Last thought. Start easy. You don’t have to run a mile or run at all. Everybody thinks there’s big benefits in pushing all the time. But there’s also risk of injury. Give your muscles plenty of time to adjust. Protect your feet and knees. Work smart. Good luck.
  • Madsocks
    Madsocks Posts: 54 Member
    Thanks all. I did a long walk yesterday on my lunch, so I'm going to try and get out and do a run. The last time I did one, I only lasted about 2km before I went back inside, so I'll see how I get on. :)
  • amgreenwell
    amgreenwell Posts: 1,267 Member
    No matter what people "think" they are watching you run. You are lapping those who are sitting there doing nothing. Only you can motivate you but remember that people don't "think" about you as much as we think they do. Most people are in their own world and couldn't care less, so exercising is about you and making you better, so do what you've got to do for you.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    Sometimes we just have to force ourselves out of our comfort zones. No one really cares what you're doing. Something that helps me to to mentally switch the places of me and the person driving or walking by. If I was in their situation and I saw someone running, what would I think? Nothing.
  • funjen1972
    funjen1972 Posts: 949 Member
    edited August 2018
    Madsocks wrote: »
    Thanks all. I did a long walk yesterday on my lunch, so I'm going to try and get out and do a run. The last time I did one, I only lasted about 2km before I went back inside, so I'll see how I get on. :)

    Great job on your walk!

    2km is a great start. There are days I only run about 1/2 a mile and walk the rest. Sometimes I jog, walk, jog, walk just because it feels good to not run allllllll the time. Do what works for you (and dont worry about the others).
  • bpotts44
    bpotts44 Posts: 1,066 Member
    Most people don't really care what other people are doing or judge them, its really in your mind. If they do then they are @$$holes anyways. Just get started and you will soon gain confidence. I know its tough but you got this.
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    When I have almost not gone for a run somewhere because I am self-conscious about being fat, people watching me, etc., I thought to myself "This is MY workout." It's my time to do something for me. If someone wants to watch me instead of doing their own thing, that's really their concern, not mine. I just refuse to do or not do something, based on what someone else may or may not think.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Madsocks wrote: »
    Today, I decided I needed to snap out of it and go for a run, especially after weighing myself this morning. I was so nervous about it all day, more so when I was getting ready. It might sound pretty sad to some people, but it's just the way i am and the way I struggle with things. :( I was wavering, but I stuck with it, got some nice words of encouragement from the girl on reception and went out and just did it; I had Tiesto in my ears, sunglasses on and just tried to block everything out......

    ......and I managed to do it. The full 5K. Without stopping. :) And in a decent time as well. I thought I would be a lot slower what with it being the first one I've done in about 3 months but it was 31:21. And I feel so much better for it. So I'm going to try and do it again tomorrow. And then the next day, and the next day after that.

    Just a shame there are no showers in work.

    Well done.

    I would suggest you ease into it though instead of going from not running to running 7 days a week.
  • funjen1972
    funjen1972 Posts: 949 Member
    Madsocks wrote: »
    Today, I decided I needed to snap out of it and go for a run, especially after weighing myself this morning. I was so nervous about it all day, more so when I was getting ready. It might sound pretty sad to some people, but it's just the way i am and the way I struggle with things. :( I was wavering, but I stuck with it, got some nice words of encouragement from the girl on reception and went out and just did it; I had Tiesto in my ears, sunglasses on and just tried to block everything out......

    ......and I managed to do it. The full 5K. Without stopping. :) And in a decent time as well. I thought I would be a lot slower what with it being the first one I've done in about 3 months but it was 31:21. And I feel so much better for it. So I'm going to try and do it again tomorrow. And then the next day, and the next day after that.

    Just a shame there are no showers in work.

    I'm proud of you! Nice job :smile:

    These are the things that make me smile. The personal victories, the break thrus, the 'I really can do this' moments keep me motivated. Thanks for sharing your story!
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
    This is for you to be more healthy. Please don’t any rude lookie-loos (actual or perceived) take that away from you.

    You’ve got to start somewhere or you’ll never get beyond where you are now. :heart:
  • Madsocks
    Madsocks Posts: 54 Member
    Just wanted to give people an update on how I've been doing so far. I've started by speaking to someone about my mental health issues, furthermore I've been going the gym a lot more regularly, doing the couch to 5k and also a 10K trainer. I've been back to parkrun and in the last couple of weeks I've lost nearly 7lbs so I'm getting there slowly but surely. :-) I've still not plucked up the courage to do proper road running as yet, but just getting up and getting out to the gym has been a big help to me so far.
  • brittanystebbins95
    brittanystebbins95 Posts: 567 Member
    edited May 2019
    I used to only be able to run after dark for this reason. What helped me a lot was running with my dogs. Everyone loves dogs, right? Looks at dogs when they drive past? When I run with my dogs, I can tell myself that the cars driving by are admiring how cute they are, not looking at me. I feel that it draws attention away from me. Maybe it doesn't, but I can tell myself if does.
    If you don't own a dog you can run with, perhaps you could volunteer to walk shelter dogs? Then you have a running companion and they get some much needed exercise and attention :) Its a win-win for both of you. Maybe you'll even meet your next bestfriend and end up adopting one.

    Same with the gym. I used to only be able to go in the middle of the night. If there was another car there, I'd go home.
    Honestly, the ONLY way for me to get through my social anxiety is to force myself into situations that make me uncomfortable. I eventually just started going in anyway. My heart would race, I'd be pale as a ghost, sweating, I'd even have to take bathroom breaks just to cry sometimes. But I lived through it. Each time it got a little bit easier because I could tell myself, "You survived last time. You didn't think you could do it but you did. You can do it again."
    Now, a year later, and I can walk in the gym during busy hours like I own the place.
    Sometimes the only way to grow is to force yourself into new situations. Transformation does not happen within your comfort zone. Start with small steps.
  • KevHex
    KevHex Posts: 256 Member
    edited May 2019
    I listened to an interview of a 101 year old lady recently and she said you have to live your life. Her advice was to do what makes you happy, and do lots of it. Forget about the rest, because when you look back on life you don't want to wish you had done something and dwell on the missed opportunity. Other people, strangers or people you pass on the street don't matter, go and run, smile and think of how happy the future you will be.

    Edit: I just read you went running, that is awesome.

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