Gaining Weight Again, Want to cry

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TasteofEnvy
TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
in Motivation and Support
It's been a while MFP...
When I started my journey back in 2013 (I believe) I was 180lbs. I worked really hard and lost so much weight... it took a while, but I made it to my goal, 120 lbs. I was so happy. At one point I had extreme anxiety, which prevented me from eating, so I went down to 114lbs. As I got more comfy eating I fluctuated between 121 and 123 lbs; that fluctuation was for a good year and a half.
Recently, my boyfriend moved in with me... I let his laziness, snacking habits, and unhealthy eating habits influence me. It's only been a month and I'm now 127 lbs. I am one pound away from being overweight again. During this month I could feel the fat creeping up on me; my breasts got bigger (which I really don't want or need), I'm growing an *kitten* (which is nice, but I don't want a bubble butt), my thighs and stomach jiggle when I walk, and my calves are huge... I tried going to the gym, but I can't motivate myself to anymore. It used to be so easy; when I originally lost weight I was on campus and could easily walk to the gym, and healthy portioned food was available. My current gym is nearby, within walking distance, but I don't want to walk alone and get frustrated at the idea of wasting gas driving. I've tried convincing my boyfriend, who is lucky to just have a decent metabolism, to go to the gym with me... but he never goes. I've tried convincing him to eat healthier with me... but no... he needs his snacks...

I'm so mad. I want to cry. I can't believe I'm getting fat again. I don't want this. But I have no motivation. I've even tried packing gym clothes to change into after work, which I did for a week... but in the end I'm just so exhausted (I stand cash register and stock items for 8 hours a day), I want to go home. I also tend to eat pretty healthy, but as I said, the snacking has become a problem... I have zero self-control around food; so if someone else has food, I want to eat too.

I want to lose 17 lbs, 10 being the bare minimum.

Help me out MFP. Help me learn to motivate myself again. Give me tips on what you did to lose weight in a decent amount of time (for instance, MFP is telling me it may take til october for me to lose 3 lbs... yea... no... i want faster than that, if possible).
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Replies

  • elfin168
    elfin168 Posts: 202 Member
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    It is normal for males to be able to eat more and stay slim. Unfortunately fact of life lol. It sounds like you may be a bit depressed. Your weight is not your worth. It is also completely normal to put on a bit of weight when you move in with your man. Be kind to yourself. Being mean to yourself will not help you at all. I would suggest putting aside your internal voice that says you MUST do this and you MUST do that and you arent good enough etc and put in some place some habits that are healthier. It is absolutely unnecessary to starve or exhaust yourself to loose weight and find self acceptance. Ps take a look at the does my utersus look bit in this thread :)

  • DarianJP
    DarianJP Posts: 95 Member
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    That use to be my exact same situation when I moved in with my boyfriend 4 years ago. He likes to snack and order take out but won’t work out with me. That being the case I just found things I liked to do by myself to keep active so I can still eat pizza or what not with him every once in a while. I bought a stationary bike at the Salvation Army for $25 and rode it almost everyday because I didn’t feel like going to the gym. Haha Now I just do a lot of walking as my main exercise. Just find something you actually enjoy doing and if you get bored of that, find something new. No reason to force yourself to do an exercise you don’t like. A big thing that helped me not eating everything was to do all my meal prepping on my day off and always have snacks on hand. I usually eat 3 snacks throughout the day, a vegetable (carrots, mushrooms, cucumbers), a fruit (usually an apple or orange) and some kind of nut or broad beans, etc. And I always save room for a little sweet treat after dinner. These are just a few things that have helped me maintain my weight. You lost all that weight before so I believe you can do it again! This time around it’s probably going to come off a lot slower than you’d like but the key is to be patient and don’t get discouraged. But the number one thing is: Don’t be so hard on yourself! Give yourself a break if you need it and just know that your weight is not a reflection of who you are as a person. I always obsessed about staying 110-112 lbs but I’ve gained a few pounds and tend to stay around 114-116lbs now and I feel great! Life happens sometimes, just be sure to do what’s best for you.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    List three things you could realistically do right now to give you back control.

    And then do them.

    You sound scared about losing control of the situation. Once you know you can get that back hopefully your perspective over the situation will return.

    Finally there must be some kind of middle ground you can agree with your BF when it comes to having snacks around.
  • Millicent3015
    Millicent3015 Posts: 374 Member
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    If you want to go to the gym you may have to take the plunge and walk there by yourself. You could start by walking a quarter of the way there, then halfway there, then three quarters there, until you get there. Unfortunately we can't always have people with us, and the more you go it alone the more normal it will become. You may always feel anxious about it, but it can become easier to manage.

    As other posters have said, you're being unnecessarily harsh on yourself. You were happy with 120lbs, okay with 123, and now you're carrying an extra 4-7lbs, you sound as if it's the end of the world. It's not. You can get back to 120lbs and even go a bit under, with time, patience and perseverance, but only you are responsible for what you eat.

    You have to gain some measure of self control, however small that is, otherwise you may end up in a cycle of unhelpful eating, gaining, losing and gaining again, and blaming yourself and maybe even your boyfriend for your food choices. Seven extra pounds isn't much. You could lose that in a relatively short time if you keep plugging away and stop beating yourself up for being human and having a life where change happens.
  • jctea
    jctea Posts: 1 Member
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    Maybe you could try keeping healthy snacks around for yourself so that when he's snacking, you don't feel deprived? Make sure they are things you actually enjoy though so that it's a fair compensation. And you could try eating more protein/foods that keep you full longer so that you don't give in as easily to snacking.
    Just remember to be kind to yourself. Everyone fluctuates.
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
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    msf74 wrote: »
    List three things you could realistically do right now to give you back control.

    And then do them.

    You sound scared about losing control of the situation. Once you know you can get that back hopefully your perspective over the situation will return.

    Finally there must be some kind of middle ground you can agree with your BF when it comes to having snacks around.

    1) start meal prepping and hopefully make it a habit before my bf gets back from cali

    2) walk the dog more

    3) portiom control

    I texted my bf and he said hed do is best to be healthier and eat less junk around me :)
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    You are 127 pounds. You talk about yourself as if you weigh twice that. You need to be kinder to yourself.

    Ever since i was 200 lbs (joined MFP at 180) ive been so scared of being that much again. Not only is it bad for my height (5 ft and a half inch) but my mom verbally abused me over it
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
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    pinuplove wrote: »
    If you were happy at 120 and comfy at 123, why do you want to lose to 110, 117 at a minimum? How tall are you?

    I am 5 foot and a half inch, with a large frame. The most I am supposed to weigh is128 according to my obgyn and a lot of sites ive seen. The lowest im supposed to weigh is 113-115 with my frame, 95 with just my height (lol unrealistic for me)
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
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    Millicent3015 wrote: »
    If you want to go to the gym you may have to take the plunge and walk there by yourself. You could start by walking a quarter of the way there, then halfway there, then three quarters there, until you get there. Unfortunately we can't always have people with us, and the more you go it alone the more normal it will become. You may always feel anxious about it, but it can become easier to manage.

    As other posters have said, you're being unnecessarily harsh on yourself. You were happy with 120lbs, okay with 123, and now you're carrying an extra 4-7lbs, you sound as if it's the end of the world. It's not. You can get back to 120lbs and even go a bit under, with time, patience and perseverance, but only you are responsible for what you eat.

    You have to gain some measure of self control, however small that is, otherwise you may end up in a cycle of unhelpful eating, gaining, losing and gaining again, and blaming yourself and maybe even your boyfriend for your food choices. Seven extra pounds isn't much. You could lose that in a relatively short time if you keep plugging away and stop beating yourself up for being human and having a life where change happens.

    I would LOVE to walk by myself in the day time... but by the time I'm off work its dark and i don't feel safe :'( i had to beg my boyfriend once to bring a book and walk with me to the gym (not even work out with me) and he acted like i was asking him to cut off his arm...
  • amsteve64
    amsteve64 Posts: 2 Member
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    Sorry but I have to go with the tough love approach. You've done it once and you can do it again. Stop beating yourself up. Planning your weekly meals may help so you won't have to think about what you're going to eat. You can prepare a different meal for your boyfriend or he can eat what you prepare. This was a challenge for me and my husband, now he eats what I prepare or cook for himself. No more excuses for not working out.......get moving your life depends on it. The healthier you are the happier you will be. I am only 5'2 and had gotten to 169lbs at one point. My doctor told me I was considered overweight. I was getting close to a size 14. I worked out 5 days a week at the local gym, cardio, and would only lose a couple of pounds for years. After more than 10 years of trying I had to do what I never wanted to and that was count calories. I found that in order to drop lbs I had to maintain a 1550 - 1600 caloric daily intake and doing this for 1 week I lost 8lbs. I worked out 3 days a week, cardio only. I continued doing this with the exception of having 1 day a week that I can eat whatever I want. It's been a little over a year now and I have lost a total of 22 lbs and have kept it off. Of course I gained a couple of pounds here and there but I stuck with it. A couple of months ago I started working out 5 days a week twice a day to maintain my success. 30 mins walking before work and then after work 30 mins cardio and 30mins - 1hr of weights. I workout alone because I can't find anyone who is committed and consistent. If I can do it so can you. I believe in you......get moving.
  • jondspen
    jondspen Posts: 253 Member
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    3 lbs in a month is pretty good results. Also, quite blaming your boyfriend, it's your body. You control what you put into it, aka CICO, and what you do with it, aka exercise. His snacks have nothing to do with your journey. You need to learn to control or avoid temptations. There is candy in stores, there are vending machines at work, there is desserts when you go eat out. Putting your weight gain off on him, and then wanting instant results when you have not kept up with it is unrealistic. BTW, you state you are 1 lbs from being overweight again, which means your body weight is in the normal zone?

    Stop the drama...quit the blame game...and just get off your *kitten* with a little self discipline.
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
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    jondspen wrote: »
    3 lbs in a month is pretty good results. Also, quite blaming your boyfriend, it's your body. You control what you put into it, aka CICO, and what you do with it, aka exercise. His snacks have nothing to do with your journey. You need to learn to control or avoid temptations. There is candy in stores, there are vending machines at work, there is desserts when you go eat out. Putting your weight gain off on him, and then wanting instant results when you have not kept up with it is unrealistic. BTW, you state you are 1 lbs from being overweight again, which means your body weight is in the normal zone?

    Stop the drama...quit the blame game...and just get off your *kitten* with a little self discipline.

    I never said he made me eat snacks, i said it influenced me which (in my opinion) is still me blaming myself. I full on admit there and in the comments that its my lack of self-control around snacks and lack of motivation. I never said i wanted instant results, thatd be unrealistic. I know its going to take time, just as it did before. I wanted motivation, inspiration, and advice from others on how to lose it in a decent amount of time (as well as to vent).

    Trust me, this isnt drama. This is just stress and venting. Appreciate you attempting to give me tough love though :)
  • elsie6hickman
    elsie6hickman Posts: 3,864 Member
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    No one can motivate you but yourself. It sounds like a lot of whining to me. If you lost a lot of weight before, you know what you have to do. Start logging your food. Getting fat again is your choice, not a given. And there will always be an excuse why you did, but at the end of the day, you are in control. Get busy!!

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