Reaching goal and soul searching
walktalkdog
Posts: 102 Member
This topic may have been addressed many times, sorry, I'm starting a new one. I have lost the same 10ish pounds numerous times but this time - at 60 - is the last time; I am going to maintain my new weight. I'm 5'8"; I started in November at 165ish and lost slowly and had some plateaus and a frustrating two months of stalling. I refocused and have now reached the goal of 153. I've set the range at 152-155 with 155 being the upper limit. I know I will maintain it.
However, I was examing why I didn't have the same mentality before. I would lose the weight, reach the goal, then abandon the tools that got me there; namely, choosing food wisely and logging carefully.
At 60, I have a flabby belly, loose skin, and jiggly parts. Before I think I would figure, oh, it's not perfect, and give up, then regain the weight - slowly, but still regain it. Giving myself permission to love my body as it is, jiggly parts and all, is what I'm doing now. It's better than jiggly parts plus more fat on it.
I exercise diligently, both weight training and cardio, eat healthfully (mostly), and get proper sleep, manage my stress, etc. I do have a full time desk job, and find ways to get up and move around frequently.
However, I do like to eat, and realize that my downfall is relaxing the reins when going out with friends, and social situations. But I have found a way to remind myself to be ever vigilant.
In addition, I will add more strength training to keep and buld muscle mass, which we lose as we age.
But I feel a bit of a let down, and have to be mindful of that.
Anybody else have the let down feeling?
However, I was examing why I didn't have the same mentality before. I would lose the weight, reach the goal, then abandon the tools that got me there; namely, choosing food wisely and logging carefully.
At 60, I have a flabby belly, loose skin, and jiggly parts. Before I think I would figure, oh, it's not perfect, and give up, then regain the weight - slowly, but still regain it. Giving myself permission to love my body as it is, jiggly parts and all, is what I'm doing now. It's better than jiggly parts plus more fat on it.
I exercise diligently, both weight training and cardio, eat healthfully (mostly), and get proper sleep, manage my stress, etc. I do have a full time desk job, and find ways to get up and move around frequently.
However, I do like to eat, and realize that my downfall is relaxing the reins when going out with friends, and social situations. But I have found a way to remind myself to be ever vigilant.
In addition, I will add more strength training to keep and buld muscle mass, which we lose as we age.
But I feel a bit of a let down, and have to be mindful of that.
Anybody else have the let down feeling?
5
Replies
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I can relate to your story, even if I'm a little younger - only 48
I'm using the same techniques (or what you'll call it). But I also, actively, practice gratitude - I am aware that I'm privileged to have access to all kinds of delicious and nutritious foods, and a functional body; in return, it's my responsibility to manage my eating and move my body. I've been in maintenance for almost four years now (longest ever), and I'm getting more confident as time goes by, but I know that I need to put in a small effort every day, in order to stay here. I'm constantly working on my routines to make them run as smoothly as possible, and watch out for any tricks that my mind will play on me. You could just think of it as living an ordinary life - you know that "new normal" we were longing for when we started out. 12 -
Yess! Unfortunately, I was happily maintaining in the middle of my window, then a visit from family and pms-y time started me down a slippery slope of indulging too far of my cravings.
Now I'm fighting tooth and nail to get back that mentality and into the middle of the range.
I definitely feel let down especially this past week.
I realized this morning that
1) this tool is useless if I am not going to honestly log what I am eating and I know what the problems areas are
2) And when I get into the wanting to overindulge in cravings situation my new mantra is "do I really love this food more than myself"9 -
What exactly are you feeling let down about? I guess I missed it if you inferred to it in your OP.3
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The loose skin and jiggly parts are something of a let down. I am actually doing pretty well based on feedback when I posted a recent picture. I know I am by the numbers - mid 150s and 5' 7.5", so in the normal BMI range. I am close to 60 (before the end of the year) and I think part of the letdown at our age is that we want to be just like we were when last at this weight and fitness level. That's not realistic and I know that but I still feel like I am falling short of the goal.13
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Let down? Like others, I'm not sure what the let-down is. I'm 62, and happy to be thinner, healthier, stronger than I was in my 40s. I'm happy and grateful, even as I age and navigate some inevitable bumps in that road. I have friends 10 years older and more who are very active, independent, vital and enjoying life; they're my models.
Maybe I just have a different perspective: 18 years ago, at age 44, I had stage III breast cancer, with non-stellar odds of survival (maybe 60:40 in favor of living), and had already been a cancer widow for 2 years. Now, I feel like every day is a gift: Alive seems like a really good start on the rest of my day.26 -
P.S. Is it about having attained your weight goal? Maybe it's time for a new goal, such as a body composition goal, an athletic skills or achievement goal, or just learning something new in an entirely different realm: New hobby, learn to play a new musical instrument, take up a new and slightly scary sport, learn a new foreign language . . . .
:flowerforyou:9 -
I think the hard part of maintaining is just wrapping your head around forever. It’s literally doing whatever got you there with a handful more calories. At almost 2 years in, my goal is to focus on optimal nutrition. I’m 53 and feel better than I did in my 30’s. I’ve become a student of gut health and find it fascinating.
Long story short — keep doing what you’re doing.18 -
walktalkdog wrote: »This topic may have been addressed many times, sorry, I'm starting a new one. I have lost the same 10ish pounds numerous times but this time - at 60 - is the last time; I am going to maintain my new weight. I'm 5'8"; I started in November at 165ish and lost slowly and had some plateaus and a frustrating two months of stalling. I refocused and have now reached the goal of 153. I've set the range at 152-155 with 155 being the upper limit. I know I will maintain it.
However, I was examing why I didn't have the same mentality before. I would lose the weight, reach the goal, then abandon the tools that got me there; namely, choosing food wisely and logging carefully.
At 60, I have a flabby belly, loose skin, and jiggly parts. Before I think I would figure, oh, it's not perfect, and give up, then regain the weight - slowly, but still regain it. Giving myself permission to love my body as it is, jiggly parts and all, is what I'm doing now. It's better than jiggly parts plus more fat on it.
I exercise diligently, both weight training and cardio, eat healthfully (mostly), and get proper sleep, manage my stress, etc. I do have a full time desk job, and find ways to get up and move around frequently.
However, I do like to eat, and realize that my downfall is relaxing the reins when going out with friends, and social situations. But I have found a way to remind myself to be ever vigilant.
In addition, I will add more strength training to keep and buld muscle mass, which we lose as we age.
But I feel a bit of a let down, and have to be mindful of that.
Anybody else have the let down feeling?
I am 60 as well. You describe perfectly what in the past has ALWAYS led to me regaining the weight. You get there and you look in the mirror and catch gross glimpses and think "why did I bother?". I am almost a year into maintaining now, and this time I approached it differently. I said "ok you are great at losing - what about setting a goal of a year to maintain?" Why not give your skin and body TIME to look better and get used to the lower weight instead of bouncing right up again? So, for me, it seems to be working somewhat. I still see those ugly glimpses but I do get hope from the longer maintainers who do see some improvement over a few years.7 -
OP - in your Post you say “stop dieting”....but the thing is, you dont stop. You simply add a handful more calories and go about your life.14
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What exactly are you feeling let down about? I guess I missed it if you inferred to it in your OP.
What I mean is that I have to accept a flabby stomach, "bat wings" (the back of the arms), and flabby inner thighs. The body is not going to look like it did decades earlier, that's all. Putting things into perspective, not having to deal with health issues, or having been extremely overweight, makes these concerns seem trivial.
I just needed to vent it on this board.
Thanks for the replies.OP - in your Post you say “stop dieting”....but the thing is, you dont stop. You simply add a handful more calories and go about your life.OP - in your Post you say “stop dieting”....but the thing is, you dont stop. You simply add a handful more calories and go about your life.
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OP - in your Post you say “stop dieting”....but the thing is, you dont stop. You simply add a handful more calories and go about your life.
I don't think I said that "stop dieting"; if I did it's not what I meant. I think the maintenance part has always been the hardest for me, plus it's a different goal.
Thanks for replying.2 -
walktalkdog wrote: »At 60, I have a flabby belly, loose skin, and jiggly parts. Before I think I would figure, oh, it's not perfect, and give up, then regain the weight - slowly, but still regain it. Giving myself permission to love my body as it is, jiggly parts and all, is what I'm doing now. It's better than jiggly parts plus more fat on it.
I exercise diligently, both weight training and cardio, eat healthfully (mostly), and get proper sleep, manage my stress, etc. I do have a full time desk job, and find ways to get up and move around frequently.
However, I do like to eat, and realize that my downfall is relaxing the reins when going out with friends, and social situations. But I have found a way to remind myself to be ever vigilant.
In addition, I will add more strength training to keep and buld muscle mass, which we lose as we age.
But I feel a bit of a let down, and have to be mindful of that.
Anybody else have the let down feeling?
Just take it one day at a time. You have done wonderful things for yourself. Be proud of your accomplishments
My suggestion would be to change up your exercise routine from time to time. I find that when I do different movements with weights, I see gains. Those "batwings" and saggy skin will improve and firm up, even though they may never look like they did when you were 20. Still, isn't it much better than it was before you lost the weight? Don't you feel stronger, healthier? I'll bet you look amazing
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@walktalkdog I understand completely. I’m feeling a bit of this now as I’m on the cusp of maintenance after losing 40 pounds at age 62.3
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@walktalkdog
I kept reading & re-reading your post & all the replies all weekend. I am in the exact same position as you AND AnnPT. I am a little let down at times (regretful and grieving a little) AND I am supremely grateful for my excellent, new health. Just knowing that others were also dealing with this when it crashed in on me the past few days was exceptionally helpful to me - including Ann’s reminder.
I’ve lost almost 70 lbs over about a thousand days, purposely slowly, hoping it would help my skin. I do find it getting better and I find it is bothering me less. The ironic part is loose skin did contribute to my regaining weight back at least 3 times. When I began this time, I promised myself that it would not stop this time but when I faced it In May/June, I definitely went through a real soul searching & lost more slowly as I tried to deal with it. Then moved forward in July/August to hit it again here in early Sept. I’m ready to push ahead again now. I dressed up last night & my own husband didn’t recognize me!!!! We can be clever & figure out how to dress our new figures...and as many on MFP say (and it helps me each time) we have Less Fat!!! (Not to be forgotten)
Thank you for your post & your bravery. We WILL get through this!8 -
walktalkdog wrote: »What exactly are you feeling let down about? I guess I missed it if you inferred to it in your OP.
What I mean is that I have to accept a flabby stomach, "bat wings" (the back of the arms), and flabby inner thighs. The body is not going to look like it did decades earlier, that's all. Putting things into perspective, not having to deal with health issues, or having been extremely overweight, makes these concerns seem trivial.
I just needed to vent it on this board.
Ah, our inevitable "flaws"! I get it. Thanks for the explanation. I'm struggling with aging as well but I'm going to keep working on making it as positive as I can, as hard as it is to accept at times.
I understand the venting. As you can see, it's a good thing to do as you aren't alone.2 -
@walktalkdog I totally get where you are coming from. I am 65 & all the sags & bags get to me. But I am going to keep on because truthfully, I am at a not so good place as far as weight goes. Keep your chin up, girl. I am sending good thoughts your way.2
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This is a really important conversation.
We need a Slogan!!
#PerfectlyImperfectisNormal
🏆
I’m realizing these feeling/mind games come in waves just like our hungrier times...I’m learning to be compassionate, take care of myself, & ride them out...just as I do with the hungry times.8 -
For what it's worth, OP, i know people who were never overweight in their lifetime, but as they aged, their skin got flubby and lose in places that are similar to yours, mine, and probably most of us here. I think, accepting your body as it is, be appreciative of every day in good/ decent health, and focusing on fitness and long term health rather than imperfections that you can spot, is a better solution. Focus on a bigger picture, there's no perfect bodies, but give yours some time to tighten up and improve. It will get better, not to the level of a 20 years old, but better.4
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I think this has to do with the impossible standards that we set for ourselves to reach some idea of perfection. We are bombarded by images and I think its easy to lose sight of what is important. Congratulations on your work to get this far. I try to remember that the aim is to have better health, to be stronger and fitter and feel better in my body. It is easier to get drawn into focusing on having a "perfect" jiggle free belly. Be kind to yourself. And remember you are enough as you are. And that being skinnier or fatter or jigglier or firmer doesn't mean you are somehow a better or worse person. Also - I have been trying to do some mindfulness meditation - which helps with mindful eating and a more balanced approach I think. I have been listening and trying to take some advice from the podcast "crappy to happy". Have a listen if you have access. Its full of nice reminders. 6
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All I see here is an A-team of like minded people who have each decided to "do something" and for the most part have accomplished significant achievements in healthy living through weight loss or strength management and now just need to appreciate just what a beautiful job we did by looking at our new bodies and ultimately saying "great job - you look fab!" Ladies and gents.. what you see in the mirror is SUCCESS! We ARE fixing our bodies and minds by doing this and at our age we're probably benefiting much more from the whole process than when we were young whippersnappers and didn't give a damn about it all.
So grab your success by the loose bits and just laugh at them.. we don't care about you! We're here, we're better for being fit and we're just gonna keep on going! (Duracell bunnies or what?)
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You've had some thoughtful and helpful replies OP. I don't think any of us are ever happy totally with our bodies after loss - we expected a miracle perhaps.
I just wanted to wish you all the best for maintenance - I've been at my goal for 5 years now and still have things about my body I'm unhappy with but I don't let that get to me, I think of what I have accomplished and how good I feel .
Be proud of achieving a healthy weight and plan to stay there.
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I am 72, and blessed with genes that make me look a lot younger. However, I have the inevitable sags and bags even with a lifetime of exercise. Weight loss merely helped me to FEEL younger. Maintenance, as others have said, is just the same thing as dieting with more calories to play with. BUT maintenance is also far more freeing once you know that it's forever. You know what to do, and you do it, and then, when you veer from it, you yank yourself back. That being said, it takes a while to get to this point. I'm heading into my fourth year of maintenance and I still have times when I worry about gains outside of the range I set for myself. For those of us who are aging, we have to accept that we are not 20 and that our bodies, no matter how fit, will never be as firm as they were in our youth. However, we have so much more wisdom, our lives are in a good place, and if we are healthy, we own the world! p.s. Our health, a lot of times, is in our own hands. And that's a truly good reason for continuing to maintain our best weight, exercise routine, etc. A full and healthy life beats a firm skin!
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OP.. you really make two points. One is..as we get older we realize we need to lose the weight for good for health and longevity reasons. When I was younger, I lost weight to look good..then life would happen and I'd regain, thinking ?? well not thinking really.
Being older, I realize it is time to get it done for good and it is silly to keep doing the same stupid thing over and over.
As for the condition of your body? I think it will improve with time, it will just take longer because you're older. I just lost about 40 pounds... I had some issues too...but as I go along I see my legs toning and looking ten years younger as of late. When I first lost they had rippled fat left on them that I'd never seen before in my life. My neck is improving too..that really looked bad for a while. The worst are my arms...but I read an article where a reporter got rid of her bingo wings in 6 weeks. She took tips from a trainer who even works his magic on 82 year old clients I plan on doing that routine and see if I can fix that..which would be amazing.
So, keep with it.. please don't let self criticism lead to self sabotage. That is what our younger selves allowed.5 -
@elisa123gal , I'd love to see that article. Do you have a link?3
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All I see here is an A-team of like minded people who have each decided to "do something" and for the most part have accomplished significant achievements in healthy living through weight loss or strength management and now just need to appreciate just what a beautiful job we did by looking at our new bodies and ultimately saying "great job - you look fab!" Ladies and gents.. what you see in the mirror is SUCCESS! We ARE fixing our bodies and minds by doing this and at our age we're probably benefiting much more from the whole process than when we were young whippersnappers and didn't give a damn about it all.
So grab your success by the loose bits and just laugh at them.. we don't care about you! We're here, we're better for being fit and we're just gonna keep on going! (Duracell bunnies or what?)
This!!!! ^ 🎉1 -
I’m in a similar situation. I lost 50# over a year and a half. In a perfect world, I would like to drop another 20 or so, but life ‘stuff’ has gotten in the way of being active enough to stay at a deficit.
Since January I’ve maintained, which wasn’t a conscious choice as much as it was counting but adding indulgences more often than I should. I felt like a screw up for a while cause I wasn’t losing, til I realized that I’ve maintained just fine.
I turn 60 next month, and was able to get off of BP meds with the weight loss and have avoided the family disposition to diabetes, so that’s a win.8 -
I am thrilled that at 63, after being grossly obese for decades, I'm at the most consistent weight and in the best fitness shape of my life. I really don't care about a little tummy or arm flab. I can do things I couldn't do at age 15 or 20! 150 lost, 2 years into maintenance.14
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@elisa123gal , I'd love to see that article. Do you have a link?
I think this may be the article.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2192158/Im-proof-CAN-rid-bingo-wings--bear-chocs-live-lentils-lift-weights-youre-chatting-phone.html
Cheers, h.
ETA: Just the common sense- reasonable deficit, adequate protein. Lift weights.0 -
@middlehaitch Thanks so much! BTW, I always love your posts - here and in the Petites group!3
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