can't seem to hit my kcal goal

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Hi, sorry to bother you all but I'm looking for some advice. First of all, I apologize for my weird way of writing, English isn't my main language.
I don't regularly track my food (I know it's bad I know), but when I do, I realize I struggle hitting 1200 kcal (my goal is a little more over 1300). I'm not restricting to lose more weight or lose faster. I'm just nor hungry.
I don't eat diet foods, I eat lots of fruits and vegetables (which mean I'm always over my recommended amount of sugar), I like nuts and seeds (which means I often go over my recommended amount of fat). I'm not a huge fan of meat, so I turn more to lentils and chick peas for proteins. I'm lactose intolerant so I avoid cheese, yogurts, milk,... all dairy products (even when I want to indulge, I'll prefer a sorbet to an ice cream).
For my back story: I've always been overweight, always been the chubby girl who was laughed at at school because I wasn't thin like other girls. So as you can imagine, I tried from the age of 8-9 o lose weight. Nothing really worked. I almost did it all: WW, weird fab diet (soups, protein shakes (which would made me sick, but I thought I just reacted to eating "healthier"... aha healthier talking about chemical drinks), fasting,... nothing worked.
At one point, after a health problem I ended up weighting 70 kg for 151 cm, which placed me in the obesity category. After my health problem, I went back to 65 kg naturally, but even if I tried hard, I couldn't go down.
I went to see a nutritionist, who helped me losing 10 kg, but it was with a restrictive diet: mostly diet microwavable meals, all diet options of food, food restrictions (no avocados, no nuts, no seeds, no bananas, no cherries, no grapes,...), savory breakfast (which made me nauseous every day since I can't stand savory in the morning + it was sometimes cheese so it didn't help, but even when it was turkey ham it made me want to throw up or just skip breakfast), very little kcal intake: 1100-1200 kcal vs my RMB 1316 KCAL,...)
So now, even though I didn't follow my nutritionist plans to stay that weight (because it was like the diet: no bananas, no avocados, no nuts, no seeds, even lentils for him are bad... WTF?), I didn't gain weight, but I still feel too fat (my body fat % is 26, I'd like to go down to 23-25%). I train 3*/week (sometimes more), and my job makes me be on my feet and walking. But still I'm not losing weight, but I'm not hungry and I don't restrict myself. But I've to admit I sometimes have urges to eat a lot of greasy, sugary, unhealthy foods (and yes, I'm starting to consider seeing an eating disorder specialist because it starts to look like some sort of bulimia to me. I've been like that my whole life: not being hungry + periods when I'd feel like eating the entire food in my house, but I don't).
So my question is: how to increase my intake, without meat or dairy? Because a lot of the time, people say "just put cheese to add calories" or "just eat more meat". I know it seems legit, but it's not for me. I know getting more proteins is the way to go, but I don't know how without dairy or meat and without exploding my sugar, carbs or fat amount in a day and so start to lose weight.

Replies

  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,752 Member
    edited September 2018
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    If you're not losing weight you're eating more than you think.
    If you want to lose weight you need to eat less. What you eat is less important than how much you eat.

    Do you weigh all your food on a scale to determine how much you're eating? If not, start - weigh everything you can and use measuring cups/spoons for the few things you can't weigh. Log everything that goes in to your mouth.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    I think that if your goal is weightloss, you're not tracking correctly, not just on days you're not tracking at all. This means youre eating more than you think. The fear of specific foods/nutrients that the nutritionist gave you, does not lead you to eat less, but to eat more, over time, because you can only restrict too much for a short time.

    So I would work on challenging your fear of food, and practice conistent logging. Yes, stay away from the food you're allergic to.
  • EilisCnrRK800
    EilisCnrRK800 Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    I think that if your goal is weightloss, you're not tracking correctly, not just on days you're not tracking at all. This means youre eating more than you think. The fear of specific foods/nutrients that the nutritionist gave you, does not lead you to eat less, but to eat more, over time, because you can only restrict too much for a short time.

    So I would work on challenging your fear of food, and practice conistent logging. Yes, stay away from the food you're allergic to.

    When I log in I weight my food so I don't know how I'd eat more than what I record. I might be eating me when I do not log in or in general overtime
    I think log in more consistently is a good idea, even though sometimes it scares me and I eat less
  • EilisCnrRK800
    EilisCnrRK800 Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    If you're not losing weight you're eating more than you think.
    If you want to lose weight you need to eat less. What you eat is less important than how much you eat.

    Do you weigh all your food on a scale to determine how much you're eating? If not, start - weigh everything you can and use measuring cups/spoons for the few things you can't weigh. Log everything that goes in to your mouth.

    I weight my food yes and all I eat is logged in (when I do log in haha)
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,958 Member
    Options
    If you're not losing weight you're eating more than you think.
    If you want to lose weight you need to eat less. What you eat is less important than how much you eat.

    Do you weigh all your food on a scale to determine how much you're eating? If not, start - weigh everything you can and use measuring cups/spoons for the few things you can't weigh. Log everything that goes in to your mouth.

    I weight my food yes and all I eat is logged in (when I do log in haha)

    Okay, so the obvious answer is log everything every day. That's what I had to do in order to lose weight and if you are struggling that is where you can start.

  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,154 Member
    Options
    If you aren't losing too fast or suffering lowered energy level/weakness, you likely aren't eating too little.

    If you are losing too fast, consider adding back the seeds, nuts, avocados, peanut butter, full-fat items instead of reduced-fat, use more caloric salad dressings, or just add more oil when cooking or on veggies/salads: Low volume but calorie dense.

    For me, tracking routinely takes all the worry, stress and dysfunction out of the situation. I recommend it. For example, it will allow you to eat less nutrient-dense foods you may crave occasionally, in reasonable portions, while staying at a sensible calorie level, making the whole process more pleasant and achievable.

    If you track meticulously, it can seem fussy or time consuming at first, but you soon learn how to do it efficiently, and the time/effort becomes minimal.

    If you track routinely for a while, so that you find the food choices, frequencies and portions that represent a permanently sustainable and healthy way of eating for you, then you can use that knowledge to stop tracking so meticulously, but use your body scale to know when you may need to tighten up portions.

    Detailed tracking isn't for everyone, but if you're struggling on your current course, I'd recommend giving it a fair try.
  • EilisCnrRK800
    EilisCnrRK800 Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    If you're not losing weight you're eating more than you think.
    If you want to lose weight you need to eat less. What you eat is less important than how much you eat.

    Do you weigh all your food on a scale to determine how much you're eating? If not, start - weigh everything you can and use measuring cups/spoons for the few things you can't weigh. Log everything that goes in to your mouth.

    I weight my food yes and all I eat is logged in (when I do log in haha)

    Okay, so the obvious answer is log everything every day. That's what I had to do in order to lose weight and if you are struggling that is where you can start.

    I guess the days I don't log in I consume more because I'm not "conscious" about what I eat. I'll start being more consistent than. Thanks for your support
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    Options
    A few things:

    Unless you have very specific health reasons to keep your fats or sugars low, it's okay to go over the default MFP goals for them. In fact, a lot of us try specifically to get into the red with fat every day.

    There's also nothing wrong with "chemical drinks." Seriously what does that even mean?

    There are tons of vegetarian and vegan protein options. They do almost always come paired with more carbs, though. If you're managing your calories, that shouldn't affect your weight loss. You might start researching some vegan recipes that are heavy on protein if you want to add more to your day.

    You mention the possibility of bulimia and you mention fear of certain foods and of logging in general. These are red flags that you should get checked out by a professional just to be sure. Preferably by a therapist or counselor who has experience with disordered eating patterns. Have you looked into the resources available in your area?
  • lesdarts180
    lesdarts180 Posts: 2,726 Member
    Options
    I can't work out whether you are trying to lose weight or eat more? You say you regularly consume less than 1200, so unless you quite often consume more than say, 1500, you should be losing some weight - although it might be very gradual.
    One problem I find with estimating calories in food is the distinction between cooked and raw. This can be a problem if you usually cook your own food from scratch. An example from my own experience is lentils (which I see you use). I was weighing out 30 g of raw lentils (plus onions, celery etc ) to make soup or veg casserole and one day I realised that the nutritional information on the packet was quoting cooked lentils - which doesn't make sense as everyone cooks them differently. I had to do quite a bit of research to find the calories in raw, dry, lentils. So have a look at how you are cooking food - do you add "a little bit of this and that" without measuring them? Do you buy your chick peas in a tin with clear nutritional info or are you starting with dry chick peas?

    By the way, your English is perfectly fine - much better than I can manage in any other language!
  • EilisCnrRK800
    EilisCnrRK800 Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    If you aren't losing too fast or suffering lowered energy level/weakness, you likely aren't eating too little.

    If you are losing too fast, consider adding back the seeds, nuts, avocados, peanut butter, full-fat items instead of reduced-fat, use more caloric salad dressings, or just add more oil when cooking or on veggies/salads: Low volume but calorie dense.

    For me, tracking routinely takes all the worry, stress and dysfunction out of the situation. I recommend it. For example, it will allow you to eat less nutrient-dense foods you may crave occasionally, in reasonable portions, while staying at a sensible calorie level, making the whole process more pleasant and achievable.

    If you track meticulously, it can seem fussy or time consuming at first, but you soon learn how to do it efficiently, and the time/effort becomes minimal.

    If you track routinely for a while, so that you find the food choices, frequencies and portions that represent a permanently sustainable and healthy way of eating for you, then you can use that knowledge to stop tracking so meticulously, but use your body scale to know when you may need to tighten up portions.

    Detailed tracking isn't for everyone, but if you're struggling on your current course, I'd recommend giving it a fair try.

    I still eat seeds and nuts (not like crazy, I think I do max a TBSP of almond butter a day, or if I haven't eaten the butter, I'll have like a hand full of mixed nuts (Almonds, cashews, brazil,...)) because I never understood why they were "forbidden". Yeah, they're calorie dense, but it's good calories, like you can't compare going to a fast food and the same amount of calories with a whole food (in my opinion anyway, but maybe I'm wrong haha).
    I've always been scared (ok don't laugh) that tracking will make me too conscious about what I eat and tend to eat less (it had happened to me before, when I saw I was getting too close to go over my daily intake I'd be kind of overwhelmed)... that's where I think you can see what a life long of fab diets do to one's mind :(

    I don't really use my scale (I sometimes step on it to see my body fat %, well an indication of it), I use my clothes and how I feel and how I look. I do belly dancing and we had a show a week ago, I was horrified to see how mushier I'd become since March, which is weird because I didn't change anything in my diet. Maybe the 2-months hiatus has taken its toll.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,154 Member
    Options
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    If you aren't losing too fast or suffering lowered energy level/weakness, you likely aren't eating too little.

    If you are losing too fast, consider adding back the seeds, nuts, avocados, peanut butter, full-fat items instead of reduced-fat, use more caloric salad dressings, or just add more oil when cooking or on veggies/salads: Low volume but calorie dense.

    For me, tracking routinely takes all the worry, stress and dysfunction out of the situation. I recommend it. For example, it will allow you to eat less nutrient-dense foods you may crave occasionally, in reasonable portions, while staying at a sensible calorie level, making the whole process more pleasant and achievable.

    If you track meticulously, it can seem fussy or time consuming at first, but you soon learn how to do it efficiently, and the time/effort becomes minimal.

    If you track routinely for a while, so that you find the food choices, frequencies and portions that represent a permanently sustainable and healthy way of eating for you, then you can use that knowledge to stop tracking so meticulously, but use your body scale to know when you may need to tighten up portions.

    Detailed tracking isn't for everyone, but if you're struggling on your current course, I'd recommend giving it a fair try.

    I still eat seeds and nuts (not like crazy, I think I do max a TBSP of almond butter a day, or if I haven't eaten the butter, I'll have like a hand full of mixed nuts (Almonds, cashews, brazil,...)) because I never understood why they were "forbidden". Yeah, they're calorie dense, but it's good calories, like you can't compare going to a fast food and the same amount of calories with a whole food (in my opinion anyway, but maybe I'm wrong haha).
    I've always been scared (ok don't laugh) that tracking will make me too conscious about what I eat and tend to eat less (it had happened to me before, when I saw I was getting too close to go over my daily intake I'd be kind of overwhelmed)... that's where I think you can see what a life long of fab diets do to one's mind :(

    I don't really use my scale (I sometimes step on it to see my body fat %, well an indication of it), I use my clothes and how I feel and how I look. I do belly dancing and we had a show a week ago, I was horrified to see how mushier I'd become since March, which is weird because I didn't change anything in my diet. Maybe the 2-months hiatus has taken its toll.

    OK, I'm going to agree with those saying that it would be a good choice to talk with an experienced therapist or counselor before the subjective perceptions of this get too unmanageable.

    Best wishes for success!
  • EilisCnrRK800
    EilisCnrRK800 Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    A few things:

    Unless you have very specific health reasons to keep your fats or sugars low, it's okay to go over the default MFP goals for them. In fact, a lot of us try specifically to get into the red with fat every day.

    There's also nothing wrong with "chemical drinks." Seriously what does that even mean?

    There are tons of vegetarian and vegan protein options. They do almost always come paired with more carbs, though. If you're managing your calories, that shouldn't affect your weight loss. You might start researching some vegan recipes that are heavy on protein if you want to add more to your day.

    You mention the possibility of bulimia and you mention fear of certain foods and of logging in general. These are red flags that you should get checked out by a professional just to be sure. Preferably by a therapist or counselor who has experience with disordered eating patterns. Have you looked into the resources available in your area?

    I was always so afraid when I'd go over them, like "what am I doing wrong?". The thing is one you eat 2 pieces of fruits a day + the rest of the food I always go over.

    What I call chemical drinks is the very low quality protein shakes, loaded with sugar I used to drink to lose weight. I will not name any brand, but you know, the kind you find in cheap supermarket where in a drink you've for 100g, more than 29g of sugar and only 20 g of protein. I know protein shakes aren't bad, just those kind, targeted to people who want to lose weight rapidly.

    I'm in the process of finding recipes, I've started to try a few, some I liked, some I didn't^^

    I've noticed those behaviors recently. I guess before I didn't see, or didn't want to see. I've been like that since I was a child. Sometimes if left alone at home I'd eat a packet of biscuits just like that without thinking, and feeling bad after. When I was a teenager I talked about it to my GP but he just said it was gluttony and I just had to repress those "urges". When I was younger, bulimia, anorexia were not really talked about, and there were not a lot of specialists about it. When I realized those behaviors were red flags (because thank you internet), I started to search for professionals in my city who deal with those things. I'm still waiting for an appointment.
  • EilisCnrRK800
    EilisCnrRK800 Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    I can't work out whether you are trying to lose weight or eat more? You say you regularly consume less than 1200, so unless you quite often consume more than say, 1500, you should be losing some weight - although it might be very gradual.
    One problem I find with estimating calories in food is the distinction between cooked and raw. This can be a problem if you usually cook your own food from scratch. An example from my own experience is lentils (which I see you use). I was weighing out 30 g of raw lentils (plus onions, celery etc ) to make soup or veg casserole and one day I realised that the nutritional information on the packet was quoting cooked lentils - which doesn't make sense as everyone cooks them differently. I had to do quite a bit of research to find the calories in raw, dry, lentils. So have a look at how you are cooking food - do you add "a little bit of this and that" without measuring them? Do you buy your chick peas in a tin with clear nutritional info or are you starting with dry chick peas?

    By the way, your English is perfectly fine - much better than I can manage in any other language!

    My goal is to lose weight, but apparently I'm doing something wrong. Most of the days I can't hit 1200 kcal, yet I don't lose any weight. People around me say I'm losing, but I don't feel like it, and neither is my scale haha

    I never thought about weither, for example, the lentils were descried on the packet as "nutritional value raw/cooked", there is no indication on it... I'll have to research it then.

    Most of what I had are spices. I don't use butter, or cream (even plant-based), I rarely salt my food (my husband always had to add salt for his plate).

    For chick peas, I buy them in a glass jar, pre-cooked so the nutritional value is clearer than the lentils I buy raw.

    Thanks, I studied it by myself (well I had English at school, but I didn't really learn anything there)
  • EilisCnrRK800
    EilisCnrRK800 Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    If you aren't losing too fast or suffering lowered energy level/weakness, you likely aren't eating too little.

    If you are losing too fast, consider adding back the seeds, nuts, avocados, peanut butter, full-fat items instead of reduced-fat, use more caloric salad dressings, or just add more oil when cooking or on veggies/salads: Low volume but calorie dense.

    For me, tracking routinely takes all the worry, stress and dysfunction out of the situation. I recommend it. For example, it will allow you to eat less nutrient-dense foods you may crave occasionally, in reasonable portions, while staying at a sensible calorie level, making the whole process more pleasant and achievable.

    If you track meticulously, it can seem fussy or time consuming at first, but you soon learn how to do it efficiently, and the time/effort becomes minimal.

    If you track routinely for a while, so that you find the food choices, frequencies and portions that represent a permanently sustainable and healthy way of eating for you, then you can use that knowledge to stop tracking so meticulously, but use your body scale to know when you may need to tighten up portions.

    Detailed tracking isn't for everyone, but if you're struggling on your current course, I'd recommend giving it a fair try.

    I still eat seeds and nuts (not like crazy, I think I do max a TBSP of almond butter a day, or if I haven't eaten the butter, I'll have like a hand full of mixed nuts (Almonds, cashews, brazil,...)) because I never understood why they were "forbidden". Yeah, they're calorie dense, but it's good calories, like you can't compare going to a fast food and the same amount of calories with a whole food (in my opinion anyway, but maybe I'm wrong haha).
    I've always been scared (ok don't laugh) that tracking will make me too conscious about what I eat and tend to eat less (it had happened to me before, when I saw I was getting too close to go over my daily intake I'd be kind of overwhelmed)... that's where I think you can see what a life long of fab diets do to one's mind :(

    I don't really use my scale (I sometimes step on it to see my body fat %, well an indication of it), I use my clothes and how I feel and how I look. I do belly dancing and we had a show a week ago, I was horrified to see how mushier I'd become since March, which is weird because I didn't change anything in my diet. Maybe the 2-months hiatus has taken its toll.

    OK, I'm going to agree with those saying that it would be a good choice to talk with an experienced therapist or counselor before the subjective perceptions of this get too unmanageable.

    Best wishes for success!

    Thanks. I know it sound stupid to realize you've such habits when you're almost 30, better late than nothing I guess