Less Alcohol - September 2018 - One Day at a Time

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  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,747 Member
    edited September 2018
    Well this is a quiet Sunday in here. Nice to see a new face. Welcome@lauragreenbaum glad you are here and might I say 7 month is a good victory to go AF. Life does hand us an obstacle course at times but with good strategy you can get around it.

    Great thoughts and suggestions @Ke22yB. I try to keep my responses short and sweet. No one wants to hear a book as to why they are drinking and we are not.

    Good job @txmoonstar. I used to inhale everything I drank, even coffee. Not sure why but I have slowed down too.

    Today marks 14 of being AF. It seemed a pretty easy 2 weeks because I had no events to go to that were overly alcohol intense. I told a friend today I am better and happier drinking if and when I want rather than when it is expected of me when I am out.

    Also today marks 235 days of everyday check in to MFP. Things are looking up uP UP!
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    txmoonstar wrote: »
    Last night I took the advice and savored each taste. I usually gulp but this time I sipped and enjoyed 2 glasses of wine over a few hours. Of course as the evening progressed and my stress level went up, I drank 6 beers.

    @txmoonstar Great try!! Keep at it.

    Try to be aware that each drink makes us less able to resist another drink.
  • USCBMOM22
    USCBMOM22 Posts: 31 Member
    Good morning, everyone. Just catching up here. Love reading the posts and many are so inspiring. I had a pretty challenging weekend. Hurricane Florence passed through our area. We are in the Charlotte area, so we had mostly rain rain rain. Not nearly as bad here as our friends on the coast. I was very proud of myself that I did not drink my way through the entire storm. My sweetie and I had a couple glasses of wine on Friday evening. On Saturday, I had nothing. We spent most of that day and evening at the hospital awaiting the arrival of my sweet grandson. Yesterday, I had a glass with dinner and a glass after dinner. So, while I did not stay completely AF over the weekend, I definitely stayed within moderation. I have realized if I can keep myself busy when I hit those trigger times, I don't have time to think about the wine. Now, even though I kept the wine consumption under control, we are not even going to discuss the hurricane snacking. Let's just pretend that didn't happen :D
  • globalhiker
    globalhiker Posts: 1,672 Member
    donimfp: appreciate this & I agree - for me it seems that dependency, even with less alcohol, is still there after all these weeks of tapering & I want it gone-Congrats on 48 days AF too, wonderful accomplishment!
  • forestdweller1
    forestdweller1 Posts: 413 Member
    Just went to the new "Sober" forum. 9 pages in, I got so depressed I had to quit reading. Not sure why the thought of never drinking again was such a downer. I never got to the point of staggering drunk or blackouts, I just drank so much that it affected my weight and budget.
    Beginning month #4 of AF with no intention of staying that way forever. Looking forward to enjoying a well-sauced dish of spaghetti squash with a glass of Chianti next month. And then leaving the table !! [crossing fingers]

    Getting over my sads by cleaning out a closet until Cat tells me it's time for a lap-sit.

    Congratulation and hugs to all those who are meeting their goals, and those who are doing Day One one more time.
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    edited September 2018
    frankly, i have more friends with my friends of bill w than with anyone who drinks-typically. there are exceptions
    don't just cut something out of your life. fill it with something beneficial. imho
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,747 Member
    forestdweller1 wrote: »
    Just went to the new "Sober" forum. 9 pages in, I got so depressed I had to quit reading. Not sure why the thought of never drinking again was such a downer. I never got to the point of staggering drunk or blackouts, I just drank so much that it affected my weight and budget.
    Beginning month #4 of AF with no intention of staying that way forever. Looking forward to enjoying a well-sauced dish of spaghetti squash with a glass of Chianti next month. And then leaving the table !! [crossing fingers]

    Getting over my sads by cleaning out a closet until Cat tells me it's time for a lap-sit.

    Congratulation and hugs to all those who are meeting their goals, and those who are doing Day One one more time.

    @forestdweller1 : as we have said soooooooo many times in here. We are each in here for own own control. Whether it be cutting back from a bottle of vino at night to one glass or cutting back and taking a break from drinking for an X amount of time. I hope you were not sad for to long yesterday after your read those posts. You sound to me as if you have a well enforced plan that your going to follow through with. Awesome job!
  • forestdweller1
    forestdweller1 Posts: 413 Member
    edited September 2018
    KKHKISHZKH wrote: »
    I'm finding this far easier than I thought I would. Considering I started this because I thought I might be developing a problem... I'd drink a bottle of wine every friday night (curry and wine night), and wine or gin on saturdays (date night), then I'd buy wine during the week if I was feeling stressed. If I felt that way and didn't get wine I'd feel panicky.


    OMG...YES !! I didn't even necessarily have to drink the bottle, I just needed to have one in the cellar or I would feel the panic.



  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,747 Member
    lalabank wrote: »
    I never thought I’d be able to say this, “I don’t think about alcohol every day” Sometimes I even go weeks. I spent 20 years ending every other day with a twelve pack or 2 bottles of wine. On the off days I was overeating and exhausted.
    I didn’t go through rehab or meetings. I just started to drink less. I made some big changes in my life, found a job I love, a relationship I value, a home I’m excited to wake up and care for. I found reasons to not be hungover, a life I didn’t want to *kitten* up, memories I wanted to not blackout.
    I never once said “I’m quitting drinking”.
    I have a few drinks on occasion and I love them. I even had a binge night with old friends and I loved it.
    But the longer I went without a drink, the less I really cared about it.
    I just wanted to share that it is possible to be an alcoholic and still enjoy a drink on occasion.

    ❤❤❤❤❤ @lalabank this was very inspiring to read. I am so happy you have found the things in life to occupy those drinking hours. It is possible and you are proof to prove it. Thank you for sharing.
  • KKHKISHZKH
    KKHKISHZKH Posts: 187 Member
    forestdweller1 wrote: »
    KKHKISHZKH wrote: »
    I'm finding this far easier than I thought I would. Considering I started this because I thought I might be developing a problem... I'd drink a bottle of wine every friday night (curry and wine night), and wine or gin on saturdays (date night), then I'd buy wine during the week if I was feeling stressed. If I felt that way and didn't get wine I'd feel panicky.


    OMG...YES !! I didn't even necessarily have to drink the bottle, I just needed to have one in the cellar or I would feel the panic.



    Ke22yB wrote: »
    @KKHKISHZKH Over ten years ago I knew I had to stop for immediate health problems but deep down I was sure that I would get it under control and one day be able to "enjoy it" again and here we are over 10 years and I have no thoughts of ever starting again because of the improvements in my health and my lifestyle. I went through a lot of the same panic moves if it was a Sunday and I was away I knew that I had to buy a bottle on Saturday to bring home in case what was in the house wasn't enough for sunday night and the liquor stores here closed on sunday back then
    FeelinFooFoo wrote: »
    Ke22yB wrote: »
    @KKHKISHZKH Over ten years ago I knew I had to stop for immediate health problems but deep down I was sure that I would get it under control and one day be able to "enjoy it" again and here we are over 10 years and I have no thoughts of ever starting again because of the improvements in my health and my lifestyle. I went through a lot of the same panic moves if it was a Sunday and I was away I knew that I had to buy a bottle on Saturday to bring home in case what was in the house wasn't enough for sunday night and the liquor stores here closed on sunday back then

    I'm hearing a lot about this 'panic' and I can really relate. I thought it was only me and I didn't know how to describe it, I described it as an impulse to buy and an urge to buy. But yes upon thinking about it I would indeed panic about having access to alcohol or having enough. I guess it was ruling my life. Like intrusive thoughts about alcohol taking over and having an affect on my actions and behaviours. Good to know I wasn't alone in feeling this way.

    *hugs* to you all. It's good to know there are people that understand! I actually had a bit of a wobble yesterday but I ignored it and it passed. :)
  • USCBMOM22
    USCBMOM22 Posts: 31 Member
    lalabank wrote: »
    I never thought I’d be able to say this, “I don’t think about alcohol every day” Sometimes I even go weeks. I spent 20 years ending every other day with a twelve pack or 2 bottles of wine. On the off days I was overeating and exhausted.
    I didn’t go through rehab or meetings. I just started to drink less. I made some big changes in my life, found a job I love, a relationship I value, a home I’m excited to wake up and care for. I found reasons to not be hungover, a life I didn’t want to *kitten* up, memories I wanted to not blackout.
    I never once said “I’m quitting drinking”.
    I have a few drinks on occasion and I love them. I even had a binge night with old friends and I loved it.
    But the longer I went without a drink, the less I really cared about it.
    I just wanted to share that it is possible to be an alcoholic and still enjoy a drink on occasion.

    Thank you for sharing this. I'm on my way to this very lifestyle you are describing. I still have a ways to go, but thank you for posting. It is very encouraging.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    viceam wrote: »
    Survived last night with no more wine. Not easy, even after spending a few weeks tapering. Every cell in my brain was having a hissy fit is the best way to describe it... poor night's rest. Still glad I did it -and see the need for me to really spend a month or so at least in "AF" mode to really heal my liver and hit the re-set buttons. Thank you for helping me get this far along...!

    @viceam Bravo on winning that battle!!! Your efforts have definitely made you stronger.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    erikNJ wrote: »
    Wow, I decided to catch up on this group this morning. Great to see all these new people joining in.
    @MissMay and @Orphia you guys are rockstars keeping this going! There is nothing but positivity in this group now. Reminds me of the good old days in the beginning of 2018. :)

    @erikNJ Thanks so much! Lovely to hear from you! How are things with you? You seemed to have things nicely under control.

    Am I right in thinking you're a bartender, or did I get that wrong earlier?
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    FeelinFooFoo wrote: »
    So iv been AF all week and now it's Friday! That familiar voice in my head whispered, it's Friday, you've been non stop all week. You deserve a drink. Then something happened. I questioned wether this is just plain old habit talking and if I really needed to drink tonight. Plus I'm headed out to dinner tomorrow and will no doubt have an alcoholic beverage so I can pass tonight.

    I know I will drink wine tomorrow as that's my preferred drink when having dinner. I have also accepted that I just enjoy drinking wine. My challenge is to limit my amount and not drink so much that I suffer from a hangover the next day. If I can master this I will be one very happy camper lol.

    So options are, smaller glasses, lower alcohol wine or spritzers. I will see how I fair tomorrow.

    Hope everyone has had a good day !

    @FeelinFooFoo Really great plans!

    With alcohol, as with all things, it's lovely to learn how to do things purely for the joy they bring.

    Addictions are habits that are not joyful.

    There is real sense of Zen or satisfaction in being able to know when things are the right amount.

    e.g. not just with alcohol, but with food/eating, with exercise, with work, with spending, cleaning, Art.... I could go on!
  • erikNJ
    erikNJ Posts: 1,009 Member
    Orphia wrote: »
    erikNJ wrote: »
    Wow, I decided to catch up on this group this morning. Great to see all these new people joining in.
    @MissMay and @Orphia you guys are rockstars keeping this going! There is nothing but positivity in this group now. Reminds me of the good old days in the beginning of 2018. :)

    @erikNJ Thanks so much! Lovely to hear from you! How are things with you? You seemed to have things nicely under control.

    Am I right in thinking you're a bartender, or did I get that wrong earlier?

    Thanks Orphia. Overall things are good. I have kind of lost my gym motivation. But my diet and drinking has remained under control. Down 30 lbs for the year.

    And close, I work for a beer wholesale distributor. So I deal with bars and liquor stores everyday.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    erikNJ wrote: »
    Orphia wrote: »
    erikNJ wrote: »
    Wow, I decided to catch up on this group this morning. Great to see all these new people joining in.
    @MissMay and @Orphia you guys are rockstars keeping this going! There is nothing but positivity in this group now. Reminds me of the good old days in the beginning of 2018. :)

    @erikNJ Thanks so much! Lovely to hear from you! How are things with you? You seemed to have things nicely under control.

    Am I right in thinking you're a bartender, or did I get that wrong earlier?

    Thanks Orphia. Overall things are good. I have kind of lost my gym motivation. But my diet and drinking has remained under control. Down 30 lbs for the year.

    And close, I work for a beer wholesale distributor. So I deal with bars and liquor stores everyday.

    You're awesome.

    Hope you find a new exercise love, whether it's a new gym routine or goal, or a completely different form of exercise. The main thing is to find something you love and want to keep doing.

    Sorry, not trying to boss you around! That's excellent you're sticking to your calorie limit!
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    @ErikNJ, long time no see! Congrats on the impressive weight loss! Your fellow baseball fan here is going to the Astros game tomorrow, and they announced last week that all attendees get a replica championship ring. Woo Hoo! It’ll be my second game sans alcohol but at least my normal buddy who treats us to a whole bottle of gross ballpark wine isn’t coming.
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,747 Member
    And here we are 22 days into September and 22 days on this thread. Yippee. I had no problem starting over my count after AF for 15 days. If it were earlier in the year I would have gotten in here all disappointed with myself. Probably because back then I would not have thought and probably did not have the self control I have managed to muster up from deep inside myself. I am proud of that. And I am extremely proud of anyone that can get in here and post (or just read) these awesome TRUE stories of our daily need to get it under control for what ever reason. <3

    Also big HELLO and HUG to @eriknj. I was hoping you were still around. You missed @WineGelato who was in here not too long ago. Glad you are still doing well. And super congrats on those 30#'s. It is tough enough to stick to one goal....YOU have several going on at once. Don't stay away so long. You are a wonderful asset to the group.

    Everyone enjoy the weekend. Happy first day of Fall.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    https://tendaily.com.au/views/a180916hdv/why-drinking-wine-is-a-dangerous-way-to-unwind-20180917

    "On the other hand it is a somewhat risky self-care tool, one that is hard to cap at one or two, largely because it is almost too effective at helping us unwind. We generally stop at one bubble bath, or one cup of tea a night – but alcohol is a self-care tool that is fairly difficult to shut off, due to its powerful effects on a stressed out brain."


    "If you are finding that alcohol is a major part of your evening self care ritual, it might be helpful to consider what other kinds of rituals might accompany, or replace it. This might look like creating a new evening ritual of having a shower as soon as you get home, and then going for a walk - or it might involve pouring that glass of wine, but also pouring a large glass of soda water."

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