What would happen if we only got what we asked for?
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Thanks for all the input. I see I got some I didn't ask for too
I sincerely want to help people - I sincerely want to be entertained, too, but I hate to see people struggle - so when I come across obvious (to me) wrong questions, I offer alternatives, and get shot down. It could be the way I'm phrasing it, it could be MFP's policy, I don't know, and I'm again torn between "I don't really care, and my own issues are enough for me" and "but I really want to help".6 -
kommodevaran wrote: »Thanks for all the input. I see I got some I didn't ask for too
I sincerely want to help people - I sincerely want to be entertained, too, but I hate to see people struggle - so when I come across obvious (to me) wrong questions, I offer alternatives, and get shot down. It could be the way I'm phrasing it, it could be MFP's policy, I don't know, and I'm again torn between "I don't really care, and my own issues are enough for me" and "but I really want to help".
Some people prefer the blunt, cut to the chase kind of response, while others are a bit more delicate and deal better with a softer approach. Your style will not reach everyone but will be the best approach or some.
I was only thinking today how I would treat situations differently, in real life, without the anonymity of the boards. I don't suffer bro-science but would not be as strongly spoken about my stances if I were face-to-face. That still doesn't change the fact that I think anti-vaxers and conspiracy theorists are fools.
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Almost every question people post here has been asked and answered. If people read the first page or two of posts, the stickied posts or used the search feature they'd see the answer they are going to get.
I think if someone is posting on one thing but incidentally mention something that may be a greater problem it is pretty nice of someone to point it out and give information that was not asked for. These are also discussion boards and it is more interesting when there is discussion not just yes or no boards. Not everyone wants the same thing I guess.
Only getting what you ask for could be limiting your knowledge/experience or be dangerous.
In life if I go to a repair shop and tell them part a on my device is broken then I do want them to look at part a but if they don't tell me about part b when it is the larger problem I am going to be upset with them. I don't want them to just talk to me about part a. I want them to look at the whole device and find any problems. However, I really don't want to hear about how their aunt took a trip to Florida where the person who invented my device once lived or about a completely different device.
If I went to the doctor with migraines and they only talked about that and don't ask about other symptoms or do an exam of my whole body then they may be missing a serious health problem. Although I want my migraines treated I also want to know that my thyroid may not be working.
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If you want to waste many hours of time, check out some of the great stories on the Malicious Compliance subreddit. That is full of people getting exactly what they asked for, and in some cases getting fired or arrested because of their inability to comprehend the consequences of their requests.
Some choice ones:
Can't you just unload around me?
Difficult customer demands we place her very heavy sofa onto her delicate wooden floorboards
ID EVERYONE. No exceptions.3 -
Yes, that was what I was meaning to address - people conforming to the letter, but not the spirit, of a request. It can be dangerous. I hate to see it happen. But I would also secretly snigger. But just a little bit.
I'm also curious about "common knowledge". When people ask about things that seem obvious to me, ie things I think about as common knowledge, or self-evident, are they asking just to ask (making conversation), or in the hope that "it isn't so", or is the knowledge just not that common after all? Why do people ask if they, for instance, might be eating to little to lose weight?1 -
I wish we got exactly what we asked for. I'd be chillin' in Russia with Richard Armitage and enjoying a depression-free life with calorie-free cookies, pizza, and lasagna!2
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Maybe this belongs in Chit Chat forum since it is specifically stated to discuss areas other than health and fitness.1
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Almost every question people post here has been asked and answered. If people read the first page or two of posts, the stickied posts or used the search feature they'd see the answer they are going to get.
I think if someone is posting on one thing but incidentally mention something that may be a greater problem it is pretty nice of someone to point it out and give information that was not asked for. These are also discussion boards and it is more interesting when there is discussion not just yes or no boards. Not everyone wants the same thing I guess.
Only getting what you ask for could be limiting your knowledge/experience or be dangerous.
In life if I go to a repair shop and tell them part a on my device is broken then I do want them to look at part a but if they don't tell me about part b when it is the larger problem I am going to be upset with them. I don't want them to just talk to me about part a. I want them to look at the whole device and find any problems. However, I really don't want to hear about how their aunt took a trip to Florida where the person who invented my device once lived or about a completely different device.
If I went to the doctor with migraines and they only talked about that and don't ask about other symptoms or do an exam of my whole body then they may be missing a serious health problem. Although I want my migraines treated I also want to know that my thyroid may not be working.
Well... i I think we get what we pay for. If I am asking for a FREE service, I might listen to someone drone on about how we faked the moon landing and Bigfoot is real.0 -
Most of the useful answers I've gotten in life were to questions I didn't even know to ask.
This applies to health and fitness for me as well. If all I knew about how to take care of myself were literal answers to only the questions I specifically asked, I'd still be in a pretty bad way.5 -
Given that the majority lack the self awareness to fully understand the ramifications of what they want this will be disastrous.
Asking questions, receiving answers, discussing and refining thoughts, engaging and debating ideas are all part of the process which brings us closer to the truth.
H. Roy Kaplan conducted multiple studies into the sociological impact of wealth and happiness. As part of this he investigated the lives of lottery winners and in nearly all cases this perceived positive change upended their lives, making them far worse off as the people never addressed the root causes of their unhappiness.3 -
Given that the majority lack the self awareness to fully understand the ramifications of what they want this will be disastrous.
Asking questions, receiving answers, discussing and refining thoughts, engaging and debating ideas are all part of the process which brings us closer to the truth.
H. Roy Kaplan conducted multiple studies into the sociological impact of wealth and happiness. As part of this he investigated the lives of lottery winners and in nearly all cases this perceived positive change upended their lives, making them far worse off as the people never addressed the root causes of their unhappiness.
Isn't there a sweet spot for annual income after which most people don't actually get any happier, and in some cases happiness decreases? (Would vary based on COL I'd guess.) Or maybe I just bought into a pile of woo designed to make me feel better about not being a billionaire
Many lottery winners follow self-destructive paths straight to drug abuse, gambling addiction, excessive luxury spending, etc. Not a fate I'd envy.0 -
What would happen if we only got what we asked for?
The First Truth is that all life is suffering, pain, and misery. The Second Truth is that this suffering is caused by selfish craving and personal desire.1 -
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Given that the majority lack the self awareness to fully understand the ramifications of what they want this will be disastrous.
Asking questions, receiving answers, discussing and refining thoughts, engaging and debating ideas are all part of the process which brings us closer to the truth.
H. Roy Kaplan conducted multiple studies into the sociological impact of wealth and happiness. As part of this he investigated the lives of lottery winners and in nearly all cases this perceived positive change upended their lives, making them far worse off as the people never addressed the root causes of their unhappiness.
Isn't there a sweet spot for annual income after which most people don't actually get any happier, and in some cases happiness decreases? (Would vary based on COL I'd guess.) Or maybe I just bought into a pile of woo designed to make me feel better about not being a billionaire
Many lottery winners follow self-destructive paths straight to drug abuse, gambling addiction, excessive luxury spending, etc. Not a fate I'd envy.
The sweet spot is more based on sense of purpose as opposed to income. Income isn't as important as management of income. I suspect as long as all needs are met and wants are perceived achievable this would be the sweet spot.
The research suggests it's more of a matter of thriving in established social circles. Sudden changes cause unseen upheaval within these social circles. You see the same behavior in all changes - athletic performance, weight, education, occupation, etc.
When someone near you (or yourself) implements a change two distinct things happen. First, the commonalities between the person changed and those who did not change decrease. Second, the person changed does not have immediate access to a social circle to establish new commonalities.
This creates a great deal of stress on the person changed if they haven't prepared themselves for this. Most don't. Most aren't even aware enough to know that this potential exists, have no idea how to handle it and when confronted with this choose a return to the familiar - often through self destruction. I would venture a guess this plays a part in yo-yo dieting.
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What would happen if we only got what we asked for?
The First Truth is that all life is suffering, pain, and misery. The Second Truth is that this suffering is caused by selfish craving and personal desire.
It's sad if you stop there....
The Third Truth is that suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases
The Fourth Truth is that freedom from suffering is possible by practicing the Eightfold Path:
Right view
Right intention
Right speech
Right action
Right livelihood
Right effort
Right mindfulness
Right concentration3 -
What would happen if we only got what we asked for?
The First Truth is that all life is suffering, pain, and misery. The Second Truth is that this suffering is caused by selfish craving and personal desire.
It's sad if you stop there....
The Third Truth is that suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases
The Fourth Truth is that freedom from suffering is possible by practicing the Eightfold Path:
Right view
Right intention
Right speech
Right action
Right livelihood
Right effort
Right mindfulness
Right concentration
Not to mention that the First Truth is actually not that dire. Not all of life is suffering. It's just that suffering exists.2 -
Given that the majority lack the self awareness to fully understand the ramifications of what they want this will be disastrous.
Asking questions, receiving answers, discussing and refining thoughts, engaging and debating ideas are all part of the process which brings us closer to the truth.
H. Roy Kaplan conducted multiple studies into the sociological impact of wealth and happiness. As part of this he investigated the lives of lottery winners and in nearly all cases this perceived positive change upended their lives, making them far worse off as the people never addressed the root causes of their unhappiness.
Isn't there a sweet spot for annual income after which most people don't actually get any happier, and in some cases happiness decreases? (Would vary based on COL I'd guess.) Or maybe I just bought into a pile of woo designed to make me feel better about not being a billionaire
Many lottery winners follow self-destructive paths straight to drug abuse, gambling addiction, excessive luxury spending, etc. Not a fate I'd envy.
The lottery winner proverb is overstated. The people who overspend and ruin their lives and end up worse off than before make a more marketable story than those who hire an accountant.
The US number was reported to be around 75k in I think 2010. It does vary by location based on COL. However, what I found more interesting was that the cap only exists for questions like "how often do you feel happy?" and "have you experienced joy in the last week?" Once people are able to meet basic needs and can have some security about meeting unexpected challenges (injury, car repairs, etc.) then day-to-day emotions tend to follow the same ups and downs pretty much equally.
However, questions like "how satisfied are you with your life?" did NOT have any apparent maximum that correlated to wealth! There are diminishing returns on the rate at which happiness increases, but it does continue to increase as wealth does. So in an overall sense, the richer you are, the happier you are.0
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