I Still Have Chronic Obesity (even a year into maintenance . . .)
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Before I start – this is not meant to be an attack on you and I would personally like to congratulate you for your weight loss and maintenance so far. It’s not easy.
However, unlike the previous people who have found your story inspiring, I actually found it quite sad.
Why are you resigning yourself to a life time of obesity? What was most upsetting was your reference to knowing that you will ‘always be obese.’
You’ve already proven to yourself that you can lose weight, don’t settle for the life you describe and live in fear of all the related illnesses you mention if you ‘slip up’.
Track calories, avoid processed & sugar based foods and exercise (30 min cardio 3 – 4 days a walk – any kind). You will reach a healthy weight.
For context, I speak from experience, I too at one point was classed as overweight (borderline obese based on BMI as mine peaked at 29 and only needs to be 30 to be classed as medically obese). I made a decision that this wasn’t a life I wanted and lost it. I have maintained a normal healthy weight for 5+ years by:
Tracking calories – I do this using MFP every single day, no excuses – only days off are holidays (max 2 weeks at a time), birthdays, Christmas and strategically planned cheat days.
Adjusting goals in MFP to achieve my goals accordingly – make sure you adjustment your weight as it drops and so your calorie goals set by the app are accurate.
Banking calories - in reference to ‘planned cheat days’ you seem to beat yourself up a lot for what you call ‘binging on ice cream’. I agree the binging on anything is dangerous both mentally and physically but rather than feel like you’ve massively failed, have day each week where you plan a meal or treat of your choice that you can look forward to. You can even ‘bank’ calories for this e.g. if you want to have a 2,500 calorie cheat day but to lose weight you need to eat 1,700 a day, just eat 1,500 instead for a couple of days. Then over a week, you’ve still achieved your calorie goal.
Buying a FitBit – helps motivate me to move and on days I am not doing cardio, I make sure I walk a minimum number of steps a day. Even around the house if you have to!
Factoring in 30 mins of cardio (minimum 3 – 4 times a week) – I have a stationary bike which sits in my spare room, I love it and means I don’t even have to leave the house.
I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with my first child and its more difficult than ever to eat healthily (especially as I have to eat more than I did before) and keep up exercise. But it is possible and I’m managing to gain weight at the recommended pace (more baby and body changes than extra body fat)… I’m exhausted most days and could easily sit eat ice cream every day, you know what? I ate a whole tub of Ben & jerry’s last week and that’s ok! You can still live your life and enjoy food, you just need a balance and once you’ve reached your goal weight, it is easier.
Friendly advice based on experience, I hope it helps.
Love yourself, aim high and good luck xx
I’m afraid you completely missed her point. However, your maintenance advice is useful. Good luck with your pregnancy!6 -
Thank you for writing this . I have been saying the same things to myself and I have struggled. I wish I could just wake up one day and not have to think about things but if I stop logging , stop weighing , stop exercising all the weight comes back . I lost 94 pounds and had a slip . Luckily I got back at it before it was disastrous but now I have come to the same conclusions as you posted . I will be mentally obese forever.6
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I too can relate totally to this post. I am still in the losing it phase, down 60 and that much more to go. I was never the thin child, was overweight, chunky, plump, fat. And yes obese for decades. So it really is an ingrained mindset in many ways. At this point in time, I cope by not allowing trigger foods in the house at all. Maybe some day but for now, I know I am better off with them not in the house. But yes, I feel the same that the pounds given a microdot chance will come hustling back. So I weigh everything, eat lots of veges for volume, and try to keep starchy food low. But this post I am giving a yellow star so I can find and review over and over as I totally get it.3
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@CaladriaNapea, what a fabulous and insightful post! Just wanted to say how impressive I find your maintenance and your self-knowledge. People seem to think fat-loss is the big challenge. Nope--it's maintenance.5
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Decades ago, an ex gave me some motivational tapes from Zig Ziglar. One of the most helpful things I remember from those tapes was his philosophy on reaching goals. He said: "Ask yourself, does that act take you closer to or further away from your goal?" I try to ask myself this with every tough decision -- spending, eating, family matters, etc. It is now a healthy habit for my thought process. I'm still "falling off the wagon", but I won't let myself fall too far. My best regards to all.9
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Excellent on maintaince! And great advice. Victory isn't a goal it is a daily decision.6
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This is the identical mindset many use to mitigate and manage behavior they know they have an issue with - very prominent in finance.
This is an evolutionary process. This is what you need now, but at some point you need to evolve this thought to one of more sustained management. In time you will likely view these perceived negatives as normal.
Well done!
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Very insightful and inspiring! I, too, will be bookmarking this post to come back when I need those words of hope, encouragement and understanding.2
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Excellent insight and it articulates well exactly how I feel too. Thank you. I have printed your post and included it my journal I keep. Resonates with alot of folks and for good reason. Keep on keeping on.2
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Decades ago, an ex gave me some motivational tapes from Zig Ziglar. One of the most helpful things I remember from those tapes was his philosophy on reaching goals. He said: "Ask yourself, does that act take you closer to or further away from your goal?" I try to ask myself this with every tough decision -- spending, eating, family matters, etc. It is now a healthy habit for my thought process. I'm still "falling off the wagon", but I won't let myself fall too far. My best regards to all.
Wow. Such a good quote to think about. Another one I think of is "There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path. Don't make yourself one of them."3 -
This absolutely nails it for me too, I haven't been an ideal weight for 29 years, I gradually got bigger and bigger but then decided to do something about it 15yrs ago, lost 6st and vowed I would never be fat again. 15yrs later here I am bigger than I ever was and losing it again. I know if I don't keep using tools like MFP and my fitbit I will relapse and the cycle will start again. To explain it in the way the OP has makes perfect sense to me and reinforces why this must now be my norm.
Well done for reaching your goal 😊2 -
It's the same idea as someone being an alcoholic even if they've been sober for years."Chronic obesity" is a unique way to identify my issues with weight gain and loss, repeatedly. As @seska422 said, it's comparable to a recovered alcoholic.
I agree that the comparison to alcoholism is probably apt. While obesity doesn't have the same horrific life and relationship-shattering consequences, there is still that mindset that in order to keep the monster at bay, you have to realize that it's never gone.3 -
bobsburgersfan wrote: »Why are you resigning yourself to a life time of obesity? What was most upsetting was your reference to knowing that you will ‘always be obese.’
I initially had the same reaction, but I realized that my issue was simply the use of the term "obesity". I define obesity as the actual state of being obese, where the OP used it as the name of the disease she struggles with. Similar to how a sober alcoholic is still an alcoholic, OP suffers from obesity despite being in maintenance. After looking past the word choice, I really liked what they had to say.
@CaladriaNapea, congratulations on a year of maintenance!!
Thanks for the congrats!
I wrestled with what to call it exactly. To me the actual state of having an unhealthy BMI is what I would term as being "overweight," "an unhealthy weight," "fat," or "over-fat" (as Stephan Guyenet terms it), etc. But there's this idea that having physically lost the weight doesn't change my situation. This is still something I need to fight against daily. I am fighting against is years of ingrained habits, mindsets, coping mechanisms, and simply just a way of being. I used the term "obesity" because it is more associated with the the disease-side of being overweight. I realize the idea of whether or not obesity is a disease is in and of itself controversial, but for me it is an aspect of life that will never go away (no matter my weight), which makes it more of a disease than just a condition. I
Often society (and even my doctor) treats it as if the fact that I lost the weight means that I conquered my condition. I haven't. I've simply taken ground back. Now I constantly patrol that ground to make sure that the enemy doesn't retake those borders. It's easier to fight an enemy that you can name; so in my head I call my enemy obesity. I am definitely open to someone suggesting alternate (and perhaps less-polarizing?) names for exactly what I'm fighting against.10 -
CaladriaNapea wrote: »It's the same idea as someone being an alcoholic even if they've been sober for years."Chronic obesity" is a unique way to identify my issues with weight gain and loss, repeatedly. As @seska422 said, it's comparable to a recovered alcoholic.
I agree that the comparison to alcoholism is probably apt. While obesity doesn't have the same horrific life and relationship-shattering consequences, there is still that mindset that in order to keep the monster at bay, you have to realize that it's never gone.
I’ve recently been a passenger on a sibling’s voyage from functioning alcoholic to non-functioning alcoholic to recovering alcoholic (it’s not a journey you want to buy a ticket for if you can avoid it).
And so much of this seems analogous:
- She will never not be an alcoholic, and I will never have a never-been-obese person’s relationship to food.
- She will have maintain constant vigilance for the rest of her life, and so will I - just in a different area.
- She needs the support and understanding of a community of people who have battled with the same problems she had, and so do I.
Of course, all kinds of things are different; but I do take heart from her successes. She’s done three rehabs and five detoxes, and probably has enough 24-hr sobriety chips to decorate a miniature Christmas tree. But she’s been sober for over a year, has fully addressed most of the problems her drinking brought on, and is doing well.
Thinking about that makes me feel a lot better about all my own failures and binges and relapses and regains. It helps me to know that just because of these things that have happened in the past, there’s no reason for me not to succeed in the future.
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Blue Bell and a bluebonnet. That's a Texas gal! If it can help, Blue Bell has a No Sugar Added vanilla which is half the calories of their regular. It's a good vanilla.1
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »Blue Bell and a bluebonnet. That's a Texas gal! If it can help, Blue Bell has a No Sugar Added vanilla which is half the calories of their regular. It's a good vanilla.
Haha, you indeed spotted me! I am not a native Texan, just recently transplanted here, and soon moseying along my way. I haven't tried the no-sugar added Blue Bell--I will have to give it a shot!maureenkhilde wrote: »I too can relate totally to this post. I am still in the losing it phase, down 60 and that much more to go. I was never the thin child, was overweight, chunky, plump, fat. And yes obese for decades. So it really is an ingrained mindset in many ways. At this point in time, I cope by not allowing trigger foods in the house at all. Maybe some day but for now, I know I am better off with them not in the house. But yes, I feel the same that the pounds given a microdot chance will come hustling back. So I weigh everything, eat lots of veges for volume, and try to keep starchy food low. But this post I am giving a yellow star so I can find and review over and over as I totally get it.
Ice cream has definitely been a temptation for me. For about the first nine months of counting calories I didn't keep it in the house. However, for the last long while I have been able to pretty easily enjoy it in moderation. I think that it's important to remember that not every moment is the same. This last weekend I was missing my husband, hadn't gotten eight hours of sleep in a couple weeks, and I had too much spare time on my hands. Not a good combo for solid decision making there. I hesitate to say "absolutely no" to something because that tends to make me want it all the more. However, I think that I need to work on considering challenges that may come up and my mental state when I go grocery shopping. This month is not the month for me to buy ice cream! When my husband comes home I think I will be much more likely to be able to return to a healthy relationship with it.3 -
OP, thanks for taking the time to share your well-thought-out reflections - they are very much in-line with my own feelings and approach to maintenance, so hit a real note with me.1
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I absolutely love this way of thinking about obesity. This was a total light bulb moment for me. Thank you for sharing!2
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I love how you put this. I can see how some would be worried that you are setting yourself up as a victim of a disease but I think it’s more of an honest, gentle way of dealing with your strengths and weaknesses. I especially love the idea that a binge is just a flare up, not an indicator of moral failings at large!
I’ve gone through a moderate food addiction recovery program and I’ve never been an alcoholic but I can see how the 12 steps help with both situations.1 -
Your post is very helpful to me!! Thank you!0
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