Weird weight loss problem
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If she's not complying, what are you going to do then? Tell school administration to watch her? Tell her friends to scold her if she doesn't eat what you designate for her? Seriously. If she is resentful of your current methodology and eating behind your back, that should be a serious warning sign to stop what you're doing before something more serious happens. As a mom of three daughters, I have a really difficult time understanding how a pediatrician would recommend weight loss and not send you to a registered dietitian in this scenario given the likelihood of it encouraging disordered eating in this age group.
She is still growing and going through puberty and barely overweight. The foot needs to be treated so she can be more active, and the "problem" with her weight will address itself if you're modeling healthy behavior and attitudes about weight and food. If you villainize food to her, this is a path you're going to have a really tough time returning from.
This doesn't seem right to me at all and you shouldn't be consulting strangers on the internet about it given your previous history of posting about your preoccupation with her weight. Warning flags all around.33 -
DomesticKat wrote: »I recommend you find a new doctor because I really don't see this working out in your daughter's favor. Your preoccupation with her weight is also concerning. Did you ever speak to a registered dietitian? Did the specialist recommend weight loss for the problem or the pediatrician? What happens if getting to the bottom of a healthy BMI range doesn't solve her problem? Lots of missing info here.
Both drs. The pediatrician has been telling her she should lose a bit of weight for at least one year. The specialist does not know the pediatrician, so they are not influencing each other.2 -
ask her if she's eating extra stuff, kids at school share food at lunch especially sugary snacks.
She says no. They do not have lunch at school, they have a late lunch at home. They have a snack at school, but she has chosen to not take any cash at school and just bring something from home, mainly because she does not like the choices at school (really limited selection).2 -
DomesticKat wrote: »I recommend you find a new doctor because I really don't see this working out in your daughter's favor. Your preoccupation with her weight is also concerning. Did you ever speak to a registered dietitian? Did the specialist recommend weight loss for the problem or the pediatrician? What happens if getting to the bottom of a healthy BMI range doesn't solve her problem? Lots of missing info here.
Both drs. The pediatrician has been telling her she should lose a bit of weight for at least one year. The specialist does not know the pediatrician, so they are not influencing each other.
Yeah I'm sorry but I'm calling BS on this. For a child who is still growing and active and barely overweight, I don't buy this. I don't buy that they wouldn't come up with a treatment plan to help her be more active without counting calories first. Get a new pediatrician and see a registered dietitian and stop consulting strangers on the internet about your child.24 -
DomesticKat wrote: »If she's not complying, what are you going to do then? Tell school administration to watch her? Tell her friends to scold her if she doesn't eat what you designate for her? Seriously. If she is resentful of your current methodology and eating behind your back, that should be a serious warning sign to stop what you're doing before something more serious happens. As a mom of three daughters, I have a really difficult time understanding how a pediatrician would recommend weight loss and not send you to a registered dietitian in this scenario given the likelihood of it encouraging disordered eating in this age group.
She is still growing and going through puberty and barely overweight. The foot needs to be treated so she can be more active, and the "problem" with her weight will address itself if you're modeling healthy behavior and attitudes about weight and food. If you villainize food to her, this is a path you're going to have a really tough time returning from.
This doesn't seem right to me at all and you shouldn't be consulting strangers on the internet about it given your previous history of posting about your preoccupation with her weight. Warning flags all around.
I do not know how this works where you live, where I am dieticians do not have a very good reputation to be honest and drs rarely recommend them. The pediatric hospital does have a nutrition department, but appointments take forever plus they are supposed to address really serious problems, they are not there to help you lose a few kilos. The specialist we consulted works in the hospital and he told us he sees no reason to not just work on this at home by good all fashioned cutting calories, and the pediatrician also told us to take some time until Christmas to see if she will adjust to cutting calories a bit and if we see no change, then make an appointment.5 -
I call *kitten*.
A doctor thinks an active fifteen year old needs to lose 10kgs (22lbs) because of a sore foot? 10kgs is just vanity weight and in a fifteen year old is just "puppy fat" needed by the body as it goes through the hormonal roller coaster ride of becoming a woman.
A doctor recommends weight loss for a sore foot as opposed to rest and recovery?
And lastly, a doctor doesn't think a FIFTEEN year old is capable of handling the responsibility of tracking calories.
Honestly, you sound like YOU have a problem with your kid's, perfectly normal, weight.
I apologise if I am wrong. If the situation is really as you say, I recommend giving the control to your kid and you support her. Anything else is just setting her up for body/food issues.22 -
You attibute your daughter's lack of weightloss to some kind of magic/airborne calories, and believe a meticulously calculated meal plan - and asking strangers - is the solution? I think there is simply a communication/trust/empathy issue here. She doesn't trust you, and you can't pick up that she's lying, and your doctor gives bad advice. Poor girl. And not an easy problem to fix.12
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Yeah this doesn't pass the sniff test. Being antsy and impatient for your teenage daughter to lose weight is strange. I'm also having a hard time believing that a pediatrician advised you to control your teenage daughter's eating so she can get to the 'low end' of a normal BMI.
Not that this matters because this whole situation is weird and inappropriate imo, but she probably is eating more and truly thinks it's not enough food to be worth remembering and reporting. Adults are extremely bad at accounting for everything they eat so I imagine a teen would be even worse about remembering the random cookie, bag of chips, etc.11 -
DomesticKat wrote: »If she's not complying, what are you going to do then? Tell school administration to watch her? Tell her friends to scold her if she doesn't eat what you designate for her? Seriously. If she is resentful of your current methodology and eating behind your back, that should be a serious warning sign to stop what you're doing before something more serious happens. As a mom of three daughters, I have a really difficult time understanding how a pediatrician would recommend weight loss and not send you to a registered dietitian in this scenario given the likelihood of it encouraging disordered eating in this age group.
She is still growing and going through puberty and barely overweight. The foot needs to be treated so she can be more active, and the "problem" with her weight will address itself if you're modeling healthy behavior and attitudes about weight and food. If you villainize food to her, this is a path you're going to have a really tough time returning from.
This doesn't seem right to me at all and you shouldn't be consulting strangers on the internet about it given your previous history of posting about your preoccupation with her weight. Warning flags all around.
I do not know how this works where you live, where I am dieticians do not have a very good reputation to be honest and drs rarely recommend them. The pediatric hospital does have a nutrition department, but appointments take forever plus they are supposed to address really serious problems, they are not there to help you lose a few kilos. The specialist we consulted works in the hospital and he told us he sees no reason to not just work on this at home by good all fashioned cutting calories, and the pediatrician also told us to take some time until Christmas to see if she will adjust to cutting calories a bit and if we see no change, then make an appointment.
If you hadn't already posted in the past about your preoccupation with your child's looks and weight, I might actually believe this. But I don't. What you're saying just doesn't add up. She needs her injury treated and she needs a parent to model healthy behavior about her body, weight, and food. Telling a child to drop to the bottom of a healthy BMI range without providing any further treatment for her injury or consulting with a dietitian on how to meet her unique nutritional needs as a growing child does not add up. MFP is not intended for use by or for children.21 -
This is probably the strangest thing I have read all day. Children gain and lose weight as they grow, I remember being a little chubby and then shooting up and becoming a string bean many times during my childhood. It seems bizarre to me to put a child on a diet and as a parent to restrict your child... foot problem or not, I'd be getting a second opinion I feel like the weight "issue" is unrelated. If she has a foot problem take her to a podiatrist and see what they can do. Love your child for who she is, if she is happy with her weight quit pressuring her to lose she is her own person.13
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If her foot hurts, is she still exercising?
But I'm in agreement with most of the recent comments that she doesnt need to lose weight since she is probably still a healthy weight (assuming they weighed her in the middle of the day with clothes on, not naked in the morning thus resulting in a weight a few lbs higher than it would be in the morning).
I dont understand why no other treatment for her foot has been prescribed. And if she has muscle, she should never get to the low end of her BMI, she would be far more unhealthy. Sounds also like she has a negative body image already, and that's not something I would encourage to make worse.10 -
I too find it very difficult to believe that two different doctors are prescribing nothing but "lose 20 lbs" to a teenage girl who is a healthy weight.
OP, your daughter is at a critical time in her life where lots of young women start to develop a bad relationship with food and with their body. This idea to carefully monitor and manipulate her diet to get her to the low end of healthy weight sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. If you aren't careful, not only will she carry negative connotations around food and her weight through the rest of her life, but she will quite possibly associate all of that with you as well.21 -
Why are you guessing at her TDEE and deficit amounts? The pediatrician who recommended weight loss AND told you to count her calories for her should give you some guidance. Or refer you to a registered pediatric dietician. I would also take a close look at logging accuracy since you’re using your own system rather than mfp. Also make sure the formulas in your spreadsheet encompass all your data cells.0
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Given the martial arts, this sounds more like a sports injury than a weight problem. I'd recommend seeing a podiatrist or sports physio doctor, maybe get some orthotics for her. She might need to dial back certain activities for a while to let it rest. I'm sure her coach could give her some lower intensity cross-training things that don't aggravate the foot yet keep her conditioning.
Self-esteem is a big deal too. I was also very active yet overweight as a kid, so I think I can relate to your daughter. And I did stress about my food and my weight a lot. I felt awful and nothing anyone could have said would have changed my opinion of myself. Yet despite all my sports, I never thought of myself as an athlete! If being big had meant feeling "strong" and "athletic" instead of just "fat" I think that would have done wonders. I wonder if her team or her coach have any ideas about this.
As for the food itself, it sounds like she feels hungry a lot, which is totally expected given she's a growing and active young person. There are aspects you could explore besides just calories. As a teen I often chose low-protein breakfasts (milk & cereal), but switching to a different type of food (turkey & eggs) was a game-changer. Less hungry, less snacking. But that's just me so maybe shop around for a dietitian who has experience working with teens. There are lots of different approaches and maybe someone out there can help her while making it fun.7 -
Probably a dumb question, but how old is the battery in your scale?7
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Given that she is already at a healthy weight I would drop it. Completely. Keep healthy foods around the house available for everyone in the family. Let her make her own food decisions from what is available. She was also at the doctor appointment and can decide for herself if losing a little weight is important to her. I would not say another word to her about her weight at all. I would not ask her to step on the scale at all unless you start to see warning signs that she is rapidly losing weight.
It is so easy for teens to develop eating disorders. Your care for her diet could be misconstrued to lead her down a dangerous path.11 -
Mistraal1981 wrote: »I call *kitten*.
A doctor thinks an active fifteen year old needs to lose 10kgs (22lbs) because of a sore foot? 10kgs is just vanity weight and in a fifteen year old is just "puppy fat" needed by the body as it goes through the hormonal roller coaster ride of becoming a woman.
A doctor recommends weight loss for a sore foot as opposed to rest and recovery?
And lastly, a doctor doesn't think a FIFTEEN year old is capable of handling the responsibility of tracking calories.
Honestly, you sound like YOU have a problem with your kid's, perfectly normal, weight.
I apologise if I am wrong. If the situation is really as you say, I recommend giving the control to your kid and you support her. Anything else is just setting her up for body/food issues.
The dr has recommended rest, as in no activity at all outside the pool, not even walking a couple of blocks, for the next weeks, plus a ton of anti-iflammatory meds, and stretching exercises several times per day. Other than this, to prevent this from happening again, he has recommended losing about 10 kilos (which for a 65 kilo person is not just a bit of vanity weight) and wearing special insoles in her shoes, for life.
But thank you very much dor your advice.7 -
kommodevaran wrote: »You attibute your daughter's lack of weightloss to some kind of magic/airborne calories, and believe a meticulously calculated meal plan - and asking strangers - is the solution? I think there is simply a communication/trust/empathy issue here. She doesn't trust you, and you can't pick up that she's lying, and your doctor gives bad advice. Poor girl. And not an easy problem to fix.
Uhm, did I say anywhere anything about magic calories? I am actually asking for ideas on what I might be missing here, or how to deal with such an issue. From people who have struggled to lose weight, or have successfully lost weight, or even better have done so in their teens. I have no personal experience on how to deal with this as a teenager, I was hoping someone else might have.
As for my dr giving bad advice, what can I say? We have seen a top orthopedic surgeon in the local pediatric hospital, have consulted a podiatrist to provide insoles for her shoes, who has also seconded the ortho's advice, and has only altered a bit the stretching routine, we have discussed this with the pediatrician, even before the injury, so while it could be that 3 drs are all ignorant, I will accept their advice and accept that she has to lose the weight. I am not asking opinions on whether the goal is correct, only on how to get there.
I do not want to have exhaustive discussions with my daughter, I do not think that daily dicsussing her weight and diet is healthy, and for the same reason I am reluctant to brainstorm with mum with kids of similar ages, because such a discussion could easily become gossip, even by accident, and I do not want this to affect my daughter's social life. A forum seemed like a safe place to ask for ideas, but I guess I was wrong.
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Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »Probably a dumb question, but how old is the battery in your scale?
Recently changed, and the dr did use the hospital scale. By his calculations her BMI was 25.5.
She is muscular in back, arms and legs. But she also has a small chest, and definitely fat in her tummy area and hips.5 -
This is probably the strangest thing I have read all day. Children gain and lose weight as they grow, I remember being a little chubby and then shooting up and becoming a string bean many times during my childhood. It seems bizarre to me to put a child on a diet and as a parent to restrict your child... foot problem or not, I'd be getting a second opinion I feel like the weight "issue" is unrelated. If she has a foot problem take her to a podiatrist and see what they can do. Love your child for who she is, if she is happy with her weight quit pressuring her to lose she is her own person.
As already mentioned, the immediate health issue is addressed by medication and exercise, the long term problem is the one for which weight loss has been recommended.
Other than this, she is no longer growing, she has already had her growth spurt, and as verified by an x-ray, she will not gain any more height.4
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