He wants to gain, I want to lose. How can I make meals for that meet both of our needs??

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  • Lillymoo01
    Lillymoo01 Posts: 2,865 Member
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    My husband has much more cheese than I do and he will have rice or pasta where I will have vegetables. He will have roast potato and I will have roasted zucchini, cauliflower, brussel sprouts. He will have larger serving sizes. Basically, the fat (except cheese) and protein component of a meal will be the same with both meals but the carbs may be different and this is not a huge amount of extra effort on my behalf. He is also responsible for his own breakfast and lunch.
  • kkell2017
    kkell2017 Posts: 7 Member
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    musicfan68 wrote: »
    kkell2017 wrote: »
    The problem with that is, he doesn’t have a “big” stomach. He can eat much bigger portions, because he gets full and if he over eats then he feels sick.
    musicfan68 wrote: »
    Easy, bigger portions for him, smaller for you.

    Can he not eat snacks between meals then? That can add a lot of calories. This really is not that hard.

    He has a really weird schedule and works 12-14 hours overnight, goes to the gym, comes home eats lunch, then bed, then wakes up for dinner and goes back to work. He packs food for work, I guess we will have to pack calorie dense food.
  • kkell2017
    kkell2017 Posts: 7 Member
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    Stockholm_Andy wrote: »
    If he can't he large meals he'll need to eat more often or more calorie dense foods.

    I'm sure you don't eat every meal together right? Probably dinner, which can easily be exactly the same food with a bigger portion of protein for him, and maybe breakfast.

    Two separate breakfast isn't a hassle really. Say you both wanted omelette you could have yours with whites, spinach and mushroom. His could have the extra yolks, heavy cream, butter and bacon. (an extreme example)

    Out side of that he could have a heavy lunch plus calorie dense snacks.

    PS Maybe tell him to figure some of this out himself. It's his bulk :D

    Well we are a team, and he has been doing work himself, but it doesn’t hurt for me to help him out a little..
  • FlyingMolly
    FlyingMolly Posts: 490 Member
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    I second the snacking idea. My husband and I both have a lot of variety in our daily activities, so there are days when each of us might need extra calories. He likes to eat veggies with dressing or cured meat; I like to eat cheese, nuts, or chocolate. Once dinner is done, the hungrier one of us goes back to the kitchen and grabs something calorie-dense. It doesn’t take long to eat basically a whole second meal’s-worth, if you put your mind to it!
  • BattyKnitter
    BattyKnitter Posts: 503 Member
    edited October 2018
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    Like others have suggested calorie dense snacks are a good suggestion. My husband and I eat about the same meals/portion sizes, especially for dinner, but he adds in a lot of snacks during the day. There's a protein smoothie he makes that is a 1000 calories that's a really easy way for him to add in more calories.

    You don't have to be responsible for ALL of his food, give him our suggestions and he can figure out how to add extra cals himself.
  • beatyfamily1
    beatyfamily1 Posts: 257 Member
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    I eat about 2,300 calories but I’m losing fat. I eat two main meals and the rest is about 800 calories coming from protein drinks. I feel full but not to the point where I’m sick. Maybe more liquid fuel rather than solid foods would benefit him. I cook dinner for 4 people. When I prepare it I make it easy so that I don’t have to weigh it. For example, I make 2 cups of green vegetables per adult and 1 cup per child (7 and 9 years old). I know that one boneless chicken thigh is approximately 5 ounces depending on size so I’ll make 2-3 per adult and one per child. I eat more than my husband does. Dinner portion sizes stay the same for both of us. I’ll supplement my macros with protein drinks because there is no way I can eat that much in solid food.
  • ruqayyahsmum
    ruqayyahsmum Posts: 1,514 Member
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    In my house I tend to skip the carb side so I'll make that more calorific (potatoes delphineuois)
    Butter can be added after I've had my portion of veggies, herb or chilli butters seem to go down well

    Snacks can be higher cal, nuts and nut butters are popular

    Coffee is easy to make with extra cals using cream and syrups if he prefers it sweet
  • mclean_chris
    mclean_chris Posts: 3 Member
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    They are the same meals!!! Make the exact same meals for fat loss and muscle gain!! Want to lose fat? Make some chicken, rice, broccoli and drizzle with a touch of olive oil. Want to gain muscle? Male some chicken, rice, broccoli and drizzle with a touch of olive oil. And then have a second helping in two hours.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,996 Member
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    kkell2017 wrote: »
    It’s hard for him to eat a lot of extra portions. He works nights and doesn’t have access to a microwave to reheat, and if he eats to much at once he feels sick (over eating). He doesn’t have a “big” stomach.
    He is trying so hard to gain, and it’s just not happening.

    Then more fat for him. Fat is high in calories and low in volume. Peanut butter, oil, butter, cheese, etc.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
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    kkell2017 wrote: »
    So basically, my husband has been going to the gym, eating more calories, mass gainer etc, and he wants to gain weight (healthy weight). Meanwhile I am trying to lose weight. This makes it difficult sometime for me when I want to cook dinner and the recipes I use is mainly low calorie, low carb etc. I know it doesn’t bother him, but I also want him to reach his goals as well as I want to reach mine.
    Does any one have any tips, advice or thoughts on how I can make this work for both of our goals?

    Thanks in advance!

    Regardless of whether my wife and I are dieting or not, we have different calorie needs. The only meals we eat together are dinners and lunches on the weekends. For dinner I have larger portions...and I usually have a starch or grain with my dinner and my wife doesn't. Beyond that, I eat larger lunches and breakfasts and eating higher calorie foods and I can snack more.
  • MHarper522
    MHarper522 Posts: 108 Member
    edited October 2018
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    It's not necessarily about larger portions of everything just different proportions. Say you make a calorie dense food (meat, pasta, etc.) and a low calorie side (roasted veggies, salad, etc.), his meal should have a larger proportion of the meat and smaller of the veggies, the opposite of yours. Or add another easily made in batch calorie dense side (bread, rice) for his that you won't eat with yours.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
    edited October 2018
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    I mean it depends what types of things you have for dinner, but my husband eats like 3x as much as I do and I usually just try to fill up on vegetables so I can eat less of the other parts of the meal, and he fills up on, well,everything including big portions of the carby sides like potato, etc. your husband can also have a glass of whole milk if he’s into that. Plus he has all day to eat snacks and a bigger lunch and breakfast.
  • perkymommy
    perkymommy Posts: 1,642 Member
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    kkell2017 wrote: »
    So basically, my husband has been going to the gym, eating more calories, mass gainer etc, and he wants to gain weight (healthy weight). Meanwhile I am trying to lose weight. This makes it difficult sometime for me when I want to cook dinner and the recipes I use is mainly low calorie, low carb etc. I know it doesn’t bother him, but I also want him to reach his goals as well as I want to reach mine.
    Does any one have any tips, advice or thoughts on how I can make this work for both of our goals?

    Thanks in advance!

    He just needs to eat more of what he wants to eat. He can also fix his own stuff aside from yours and eat it if needed. My husband doesn't want to lose and will oftentimes eat something totally different than I or the kids are eating.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Fats have twice the calories per gram than either protein or carb.

    Different portioning has been mentioned. You will have more veggies on your plate.

    I suggest you add more fat to your meals and just feed yourself small sad portions that fit your calorie goal. This could mean adding a couple tablespoons of olive oil to your sauces. Fill in around it with vegetables for yourself.

    I suggest he pick whole milk as his beverage of choice more often. Add cream to his coffee. I suggest a hearty dinner as it is really his “break-fast” meal.

    I suggest he carry snacks with him at all times which could be energy bars, cheese slices, hikers mix, beef jerky or nuts of all kinds.
  • Tic78
    Tic78 Posts: 232 Member
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    Tell him to make his own dinner, job done 😆
  • sardelsa
    sardelsa Posts: 9,812 Member
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    Larger portions for him, more snacks (like nuts, dried fruit, granola), smoothies, also add ons.. if you are having tacos for example, you can have yours in a lettuce wrap and go light on the calorie dense toppings, on his he can load it up.. tortillas, rice, guac, cheese, chipotle mayo, etc.
  • dragon_girl26
    dragon_girl26 Posts: 2,187 Member
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    sardelsa wrote: »
    Larger portions for him, more snacks (like nuts, dried fruit, granola), smoothies, also add ons.. if you are having tacos for example, you can have yours in a lettuce wrap and go light on the calorie dense toppings, on his he can load it up.. tortillas, rice, guac, cheese, chipotle mayo, etc.

    ^^this

    Another option for you, especially if making high calorie options for him at dinnertime would be also tempting for you, would be to save the bulk of your calories for dinner and eat lighter throughout the day.

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