Why can’t I change my habits?
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I agree with some of the other posters that it's a good idea to change one thing at a time. Making gradual changes will be more manageable and you are more likely to stick to it. Be honest with yourself and log everything.
There is no need to give up everything that you love and you don't have to live on salads for every meal, that is not the secret to a sustainable lifestyle (unless you really love salad!). You can have "junk" (whatever you consider that to be) every now and again, you can even fit this into your calorie goal so it doesn't throw you off-track. And if you do go off-track, try not to just down-tools and throw in the can. Just dust yourself off and get back to it. Forget about yesterday. You've got this.
You are absolutely not disgusting. As you hit your goals you will be proud of yourself and with positivity will come a bit of self-love and respect. Good luck x3 -
THIS. It's not about having to make a whole 180 degree turn in your life. It's MUCH simpler to take small approaches, make them habitual and then when you're consistent with that, move on to the next small change.trynashrink wrote: »I tried to eat healthy the whole month
Eating healthy doesn't have to be about eating things that don't taste good to you. You can keep on eating a lot of the things you want if you put your mind to it and practice moderation. Take your favorite recipes and find ways to make them healthier and make substitutions to cut calories. Like cole slaw? Replace the mayo with greek yogurt. Replace butter in other recipes with apple sauce or some other healthier substitute. Oil in a pan can often be substituted with a bit vegetable stock if you regularly reapply a bit to keep things from sticking. Work in fiber and protein and good fats as all those things are especially filling. Get a food scale so you can measure your portions and track your calories accurately. Stay away from pastas, they're calorie traps.
A really great filler food is air popped (read: NOT MICROWAVEABLE STUFF YOU GET FROM THE STORE) popcorn which is tasty if sprinkled with a little salt or drizzled with a little honey for something a bit sweeter. 2 tbsp of unpopped kernels makes 2 - 3 cups of popcorn and comes in at about 77 calories. Drizzle just a little bit of honey on top, and you have a filling, sweet snack for 100 calories. Very handy for when your hungry but find yourself pushing your calorie limit.
The general message is to make sustainable lifestyle changes. Making yourself miserable eating things you don't like isn't sustainable. Getting clever about where your calories come from is part of the game. Don't be so strict on yourself that you can't take a break day to have a bit of fun with friends, but always get right back on counting your calories. Finally, don't say you can't control your eating. There are a lot of things in life we can't control. What we choose to put into our bodies is one of the few things that are almost completely up to us (budget notwithstanding). So don't tell yourself you can't -- you are quite literally the only person who can make these changes for yourself.
The single best thing you can do for yourself is to get rid of all the junk food in your house and then stop buying it. Nobody is immune to the siren call of snack food in the house; skip the temptation and just don't stock it. Even if you ignore everything else I wrote in this post, get rid of the junk food. You can't be tempted by it if you don't have it.trynashrink wrote: »I always eat and eat junk food
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Only help I can give is telling OP they're not alone. I live in Canada and my province doesn't take mental health issues seriously (yes, even the really serious ones; people have died waiting to see a professional). Every other health issue I have is lickety-split taken care of, but my depression is treated as though I'm just being overly dramatic and/or a symptom of another issue.
The best I've done for myself is to keep low calorie foods in the house (lots of flavoured rice cakes) and adhering to "it's not mine don't eat it" mantra.2 -
I went through 2 years of severe depression and anxiety and let myself go. So I get where you are coming from. I used to workout consistently and ate clean. Then, I fell into a junk food trap. I suffer from PTSD and brain damage. The trick is to get your mental health in order and learn to accept yourself as you are. Get lots of support - positive support with people who are kind, but honest, with you. Then, find a program that eases you into good eating and exercise. Jumping in with too much change can set you back. Replace one junk food item with something healthy for a couple of days. Then another with something healthy, until you have replaced all your junk food with healthy. It helps to not have it in your house so you won't be tempted. Start with something gentle for exercise, like walking, yin yoga, or a light version of something you enjoy. Yes, you need to enjoy it, so find something fun. Know that this takes a lot of time and effort and be kind to yourself when you fall off the wagon. Just get back on and start from there. It takes a lot of time to see results so be patient from yourself. Focus on progress over time, not perfection.3
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Stop calling yourself fat and disgusting. You’re not. We have fat. We aren’t fat. Our self talk can sabotage us. Sounds like you’re dieting to punish yourself for becoming “disgusting.” Start thinking of it as eating in a calorie deficit in order to lose weight and be healthier. And learn not to tie your self worth to how you look or to a number on a scale because that’s not how it works. You don’t become automatically happier, or more worthy because you obtain a goal weight. Would you tell a friend they were fat and disgusting if they gained weight? I’d certainly hope not. Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend.
Set MFP to lose .5 a week and eat the calories it gives you. And yes, it’ll be slow. But it’ll be a lot faster than drastically cutting for month and then giving up.4 -
Why can't you change your habits?
You can.
Why don't you?
Usually because you don't want to bad enough.
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In addition to the great advice you've already gotten-
Habit change isn't just deciding to change everything and then barreling in with no plan. It's easier to create a good habit than stop a bad one. It's easier to focus on doing/getting more of something than cutting something out.
Focus on one healthy food or habit you can ADD, like eating more fruit and veg, or taking a 5 minute walk when you are sad. Then determine small, easy steps to build to that. Pick ONE and make that your goal for the week. Don't deny yourself junk food or sitting on the couch. Nothing wrong with a bit of either. Instead let the good habits you are slowly building naturally push out the bad.
Also consider leaving reminders around to keep the good habits front of mind. Notes with positive messages, pretty pictures, stuffed animals, whatever.
And take some time to think about other ways to deal with stress or sadness. Saving a fave song on your phone, taking a walk, texting a friend, bookmark a webpage with puppy videos, etc.
Best of luck, hang in there!
The human brain is designed much like the groove in a record. You cannot (stressing this again - CANNOT) simply end one habit without picking up another one. This is why many people fail at stopping smoking, weight management, etc.
Think in small terms - Write down 5 habits you want to change and prioritize these 1-5. Scratch off 2-5 and focus on number 1. Work on this "bad" habit you have that does not help your goals and replace this with a "good" habit that helps you achieve your goals. After a number of weeks when this is fully ingrained in your routine then repeat this exercise.
Most of all make small changes. Do not ever implement a dramatic change as these always fail. It is only a matter of time.6 -
It takes time, hard work, determination, and attainable goals to make real change. Trying to change all of your eating habits at once is a really good way to fail. Learn how to make small changes over time.
Also, it's not necessary to only eat "healthy" (however you define that) to lose weight. That's the beauty of calorie counting. As long as you eat fewer calories than you burn, you'll lose weight.2 -
From what I read in the original post, it seems that you turn yourself totally around to where you crave the "junk" foods. You can eat junk and still lose. Personally, I think you should leave enough calories each day for a treat of some kind that you crave...or even every second day. Maybe you might be that person that needs a banking method of eating light all week and have one "cheat" day even though you aren't because you bank a couple hundred cals each day? I was like you. I love junk and thought I couldn't lose even though I was thin before. I bank 200 each day and Sundays are my day to eat whatever.
Please be more forgiving of yourself. It takes time to get onto this. Start slow and ease into it.
Best of luck
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The first step would be to stop worrying about WHAT you eat and focus on HOW MUCH you eat. If you are a junk food junkie then be so. Just stay within your calorie goals, whatever you eat. Once you get your calorie intake under control then focus on what you eat. From your original post it sounds as if you were trying to radically change your lifestyle and this became overwhelming so you defaulted back to your old ways.3
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_aenyeweddien_ wrote: »I was exactly like you before, and you know what works best for me? Nice cheat day once a month:) It keeps me going and motivates me to stick to my diet and workout routine through the whole month if I know there's Haagen Dazs and pizza waiting for me at the end of it
Alos, take pics of your progress and measurements. I learnt the hard way that sometimes the weight goes down only slightly, but you will see a massive difference in pictures/measurements and that's a massive motivation to keep going
Along those lines, I eat at maintenance a few days per month - the two heavy days of my period and the two days proceeding. I like having that to look forward too.0 -
trynashrink wrote: »Hello, this whole year I’ve tried to lose weight so bad, I started off January real good but then I left it and I’ve gained weight like crazy, I feel disgusting, I hate everything about me especially my big arms. I used to love going out and now I hate it because I feel grossed out with my body
I tried to eat healthy the whole month and I just can’t, I always eat and eat junk food because I get anxious and sad and I’m sad because I’m fat so it’s a neverending cycle. Does anyone know how Can I start making a change? I’m honestly so done with being so fat and disgusting, and eating out of pure anxiety
Are you being treated for your anxiety? That could make a big difference. Therapy and possibly medication might help you work out your emotional eating problem and help you not hate yourself. Work on developing new coping stategies to deal with your emotions.
As far as weight loss goes you need to have a calorie deficit. You do not have to eat a particular list of foods to do that.
Set an acheivable weight loss goal. If you are less than 20 lbs overweight .5 lb-1 lb a week is reasonable. Even if you have quite a bit more weight to lose 1 lb a week might be a better goal if you can stick to it more consistantly.
Making changes is something you do in steps. You should start with just logging what you normally eat and sticking to your calorie goal as a first step. You want to eat in a way you can sustain so eat food you like and learn portion sizes appropriate for you. You can later start to alter your diet in other small steps like getting more protein or having more vegetables on your plate.
It takes time to change habits, treat your mental health and change your body. You do not have to be perfect to be making progress in these areas.0 -
trynashrink wrote: »Hello, this whole year I’ve tried to lose weight so bad, I started off January real good but then I left it and I’ve gained weight like crazy, I feel disgusting, I hate everything about me especially my big arms. I used to love going out and now I hate it because I feel grossed out with my body
I tried to eat healthy the whole month and I just can’t, I always eat and eat junk food because I get anxious and sad and I’m sad because I’m fat so it’s a neverending cycle. Does anyone know how Can I start making a change? I’m honestly so done with being so fat and disgusting, and eating out of pure anxiety
Hearing things like "healthy" and "real good" always makes me worry that people have created too large a calorie deficit, which is leading to over eating. How many pounds do you need to lose to reach your goal weight and what weekly weight loss goal did you choose?
https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/1200-calorie-diet/
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Re anxiety - I used to be an emotional eater, but now I manage stress with regular exercise, and more intense or longer exercise during periods of increased stress.
I was planning on doing errands during my lunch break yesterday, but work was really stressful, so I blew the errands off and spent time in nature instead, which I really needed. I could not have gotten through this past week without either lots of Ben & Jerry's or lots of exercise, and am glad I choose the exercise.
When I'm depressed, I have to force myself to start exercising, and give myself permission to stop in 10 minutes if I need to, but I never do, and am always glad that I made the effort.3 -
Be kind to yourself. Don't punish yourself on salads and green smoothies. Let yourself eat things you like - just eat less of them.
^^^THIS.
The negative self-image could lead you to sabotage your efforts without you being aware of it. Some part of you may feel you’re not worthy of being the happy, healthy version of yourself you are trying to be.
Please consider seeking some professional help to see you deserve the things you are doing to improve your health and your life.
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@trynashrink Please indicate with numbers, not adjectives, your height and weight, and age.0
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