Friend requests with no message or photo

kevinlynch3
kevinlynch3 Posts: 287 Member
edited October 2024 in Introduce Yourself
Ok, I've only been on here a week and a half but I guess I can already be accused of being a friend snob!

Is it too much to ask that if you send me a friend request, that you at least include some message introducing yourself or telling me why you would like to be added as a friend? If it was a forum topic or you are a friend of a friend, as others of my current friends have already done..just let me know.

Otherwise, I'll probably decline and I've added a note to my profile stating that.

I'm very supportive as a friend. Because of this and the effort involved in keeping up with my friends, I don't want a large friends list and want to know that those I add feel likewise about the effort of reaching optimal weight and fitness level.

I haven't searched the forums to see if this topic is posted already but just wondering how others feel about it.
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Replies

  • countrygirl_717
    countrygirl_717 Posts: 204
    I completely agree!!
  • godroxmysox
    godroxmysox Posts: 1,491 Member
    I'm the same way. Unless I know the person (in "real" life), I decline without even checking out their profile if they don't include a message and sign with their real name. If they aren't comfortable being on a first name basis, I don't want to call them a "friend".
  • CassieLEO
    CassieLEO Posts: 757 Member
    I agree too!
  • KatyE213
    KatyE213 Posts: 447 Member
    I absolutely agree, I don't want loads of friends on here I want people who I think will support me and I can do likewise. I want few enough friends that I can recall a bit about each of them and I am not afraid to delete people who don't log in or don't have an active presence on my home page! Maybe I am just a ***** lol :smile:
  • MzMiller1215
    MzMiller1215 Posts: 633 Member
    I totally agree with you. Unfortunately, some people on here simply like to collect "friends" but do nothing to support or encourage anyone. Whenever I discover this, I kindly delete them. Welcome to MFP, by the way.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    I added a note to my profile asking for a message as to why you want to be my friend. No message, no friend. It's not too much to ask.
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
    Usually the messages I get are:

    Nice boobs.


    But sometimes people don't even add one. Hello? I even so nicely ask for one!
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    It's not too much to ask. I decline men that don't have a pic, send a message or if they don't have their profile filled out. I'm a little more lenient with women.
  • cameralinds
    cameralinds Posts: 239
    Couldn't agree more with this. Just went through my friends list and cleared it out earlier today. I think I should add a note to my profile as well... I want a few supportive pals, not many unresponsive ones.
  • Kirsty_UK
    Kirsty_UK Posts: 964 Member
    Agreed - no message, no acceptance
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
    I guess my attitude is a bit more laissez-faire with the friend requests. I think it's nice if someone wants to add me because of a forum post or because they saw some comment I made. I think it's nice if they include a message about why they want to be my friend. If they don't, that's okay too. They can lurk and watch my progress. Some people are only at that level right now and it's not my job to judge them or fault them for being more introverted than I am. I'm all straight forward, out front, boisterous and loud. Some people are quiet observers of life. If that's how I motivate them, then what's the harm? I do not now, nor have I ever, known anyone on here in real life, and I'm still here.
  • anna_lisa
    anna_lisa Posts: 486 Member
    agreed. and if you were a woman it would be considered "smart" or being "safe".
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I have a very strict friend acceptance policy.

    The requestor has to be female with a great rack and a relaxed moral attitude.
  • aph1234
    aph1234 Posts: 25
    I will look for people that are supportive of other people on the site and request a friendship because i need all the support i can get losing weight is an up hill battle i need all the cheering i can get
  • mandimoore617
    mandimoore617 Posts: 325 Member
    Eh, if they don't include a message, I check their profile out. But I'm more open to it. I keep up with my friends though, and I also don't add just everybody. I have to have something in common with someone or be in a challenge with me. I also delete people if they never comment or message me or have any contact... Or if they haven't logged in for an exceptionally lengthy time.
  • kevinlynch3
    kevinlynch3 Posts: 287 Member
    @Roaddog...hilarious....lol
  • 27strange
    27strange Posts: 837 Member
    Just sent you a blank friend request..no message...no pic...HAHA!! Just kidding! :laugh:

    I can totally agree with this. I love having friends and I love to encourage and support my friends with a positive attitude. Often, its my friends inspiration or encouraging words that helps me push through too. I take MFP seiously in the sense that I am passionate about using this tool and enjoy connecting with people who are like-minded. I'd love to add anyone that wants to be my friend, but just a brief statement of what we have in common or how we can relate goes a long way to creating that MFP friendship. If you're a fellow runner, just tell me you are in a one line message or if we are similar age/weight/etc say so. I am not one to turn down friends but if we are really gonna be MFP buddies we've gotta share a little with one another.

    Having said that... if you are looking for a friend that spends hours on here, loves to encourage others, loves to burn calories like crazy, and attempts to eat healthy...then add me and let's enjoy this journey together!!!
  • kevinlynch3
    kevinlynch3 Posts: 287 Member
    @Ogothicao...I actually agree with you if you read my initial post..I have no problem if you want to get motivation from reading what others post. Just tell me "why" you want to be added as a friend when you send the request. That's my beef..lol

    The only time I might consider dropping someone who is already a friend is if they have not logged in to mfp in a while or if I consistently encourage them and they never return the favor.
  • dayzeerock
    dayzeerock Posts: 918 Member
    You've gotta earn the right to be my friend....no witty message = no friend!
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I got a few like this, with no message whatsoever. I took time to maybe figure out what forum we both posted on, perhaps that was why they friended me. But after a couple of those, I stopped. No message? Decline. I've even cleared a few "friends" who hadn't logged in for weeks and weeks. I like to be actively engaged with my MFP friends. I don't want a huge list of people to keep track of.
  • kevinlynch3
    kevinlynch3 Posts: 287 Member
    @dayzeerock...wow you're tougher than me..lol
  • joeygirl84
    joeygirl84 Posts: 224 Member
    Right On!!!!!!!
  • kandrews24
    kandrews24 Posts: 610 Member
    I COULD NOT AGREE MORE!!! Believe it or not, however, I added a line like this to my profile (first sentence), and people STILL SEND ME FRIEND REQUESTS with no message or photo. Now sometimes, it turns out that I commented on their introduction message (in which case, I understand they don't know the ropes). Overall however, I tend to allow folks to friend me, but then I'm quick to delete them (2-4 weeks) if they are not active and supportive or otherwise a good fit. I take my MFP friends seriously and require a mutually supportive relationship! Hello, that's why I'm here.
  • Tennis2Win
    Tennis2Win Posts: 4
    Yeah, All I need is another social network to make friends! Because fb, tweeter, myspace, linkedin, etc. are NOT enough? Love to be motivating but I agree, I can't keep up with all of it. You have to draw a line somewhere!!!
  • runnerjenn0708
    runnerjenn0708 Posts: 400 Member
    2 thumbs up on this post!!! Throw a person a bone :)
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
    For those who don't accept friend requests unless they have pictures...why? I can understand the no message thing - though if someone doesn't include a message in a request to me I can usually figure out why they're asking (usually it's because I posted a response to thread) but I don't need to know what someone looks like in order to be encouraging / supportive of them. A lot of people have pictures of their kids, pets, vehicles, spouses, etc.
  • myiceisonfire
    myiceisonfire Posts: 782 Member
    Agree!
  • giammarcor
    giammarcor Posts: 217 Member
    Usually the messages I get are:

    Nice boobs.


    I hate it when I get that message!! But, seriously, it's the least people can do. The only time I can see not putting in your message is when someone enters a topic looking for friends and you let them know in the topic that you sent a request.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    roaddog you crack me up! and i do have a great rack, but very strict moral standards(hubby only)--doesn't mean i can't appreciate a great laugh!!
  • daisyelaine
    daisyelaine Posts: 480 Member
    I'm totally with you on this one... anyone who wants to be my friend that doesn't have a message might not make it. Like many of the previous posters, I want to have actual reasons that I'm friends with people here. It doesn't have to be much, but just say how you found me, or if you know me in real life, whatever. If you want to just lurk and watch me, that's fine too.. just tell me that. Leaving out a path of where you came from --creepy.

    That said, I can be pretty private about things with people I don't know either, so maybe that's just me.
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