Friend requests with no message or photo

I actually put looking for supportive girlfriends and hear about that! I think that asking for a reason is not too much to ask. I am working towards my goal of 100 lbs and add people who are like minded And if someone adds me and then post inappropriate stuff they are gone! That may sound harsh but I don't want to read that.

@jmruef..actually I don't have a problem with no photo if there is a message with the request.

Very cool - I apologize if I read something wrong. I thought I saw that someone DID have a problem with it if there was no photo involved, and that made me wonder.

Just a note to people who have some kind of message in their profile requesting that friend requests be accompanied by a reason...if your profile is private (meaning only your friends can see it), everyone else will not see that bit in your profile asking for a reason. The OP is fine; I can see his profile. But just today, I sent a friend request to someone (with a reason, of course), and now that we're friends, I see her full profile, asking that friend requests come with a reason. But only her friends can see that part of her profile. Just thought y'all would like to know. :-)

I think it is important to send a message with a friend request. Sending the message personalizes the friend request and lets me know a little bit about the person that wants to be my "pal". Unlike FB, where I have a bunch of friends, all of whom I personally know, the friends I have on this site, I know not a single one, BUT, I typically know something unique about them. I like having something in common with the folks that are my MFP friends, whether it's living in the same region, having the same weight loss struggles and goals, or having similar jobs or hobbies.

Feel free to add me, but just send a message

I wouldn't worry about it. People who get upset is probably the ones who just want "many friends". YOu have a right to ask those questions. I do the same thing on Facebook.

I agree completely!!! If I get a friend request with no message attached (and it states in my profile that I will decline that) I STILL continue to get them!

Dear, your profile is private. Since I am not one of your current friends, I cannot see said message in your profile saying you will decline it.

I agree completely!!! If I get a friend request with no message attached (and it states in my profile that I will decline that) I STILL continue to get them!

Dear, your profile is private. Since I am not one of your current friends, I cannot see said message in your profile saying you will decline it.

Oh thanks! Well that explains that!! But regardless, I think its just simple courtesy to say SOMETHING about why you want to add a perfect stranger as a friend. I have never made a friend request to anybody without stating where I saw their profile and why I think we have something in common. Its usually that they are in the same stage of life as me. You know, age, health, empty nester, etc. etc.

i agree!! I'm about to start deleting some people that havent logged on or given me any feedback!

Oh and I deleted someone who was thinking this was like FB, updating random statuses each hr. uhhhh..getouttahere!!

so please add me:

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY, u ask ?? :happy:

BECAUSE I NEED MOTIVATION DAMMIT! :sad:

i want to be told "keep it up" or "good job".. and i return the favor! and then I need people to tell me to get my lazy *kitten* up and do something!!

:bigsmile:

I'm new. have no info but i really don't care if someone has a picture or not. SUPPORT with or without a photo, etc..gets my support!

AGREE!

Thank you Ogathicao, the voice of reason! You will never see a photo of me on here because I have a high professional profile in a small community and this is definitely my personal time, no-one else's business! Most of my friends on here are at least 200 miles away so I'm not too bothered that they're going to be banging on my door asking for a cup of tea any time soon. Sorry to disappoint, people, but this is only a friendly forum to support people with a common goal. It isn't real life.

I have only denied one request - i think the person thought this was match.com. I do hesitate when i get requests without messages - i do prefer some sort of reason and i always give one when i send the request. I am very serious about being here and what i want to accomplish so i look for the dedication - I probably should have been as selective with friends on FB! My account there is like my garbage pail card collection back in the day. I feel closer with some of the amazing people here!

Ok, I've only been on here a week and a half but I guess I can already be accused of being a friend snob!

Is it too much to ask that if you send me a friend request, that you at least include some message introducing yourself or telling me why you would like to be added as a friend? If it was a forum topic or you are a friend of a friend, as others of my current friends have already done..just let me know.

Otherwise, I'll probably decline and I've added a note to my profile stating that.

I'm very supportive as a friend. Because of this and the effort involved in keeping up with my friends, I don't want a large friends list and want to know that those I add feel likewise about the effort of reaching optimal weight and fitness level.

I haven't searched the forums to see if this topic is posted already but just wondering how others feel about it.

I just got a request today that didn't seem like a good fit for ME. I was going to post a forum, too! Ha! Ha! Thanks for doing the work.

I made my profile open. I am who I am. I weigh what I weigh. I have my own philosophies on how I want to achieve my goal. It doesn't get any more personal than that! I do have a statement about letting me know something about you that I added months later after joining here. Some do leave a message and some don't.

I have never refused anyone until today. I just need to see some level besides weight loss desire that we can connect on. Not leaving your name, not giving a quick hello, not saying what inspired you to ask, not having a profile filled out, not having a picture, those are things that bother me. I also have a number of friends now and want to really remember who they are as I'd like to be as supportive as possible. As it is, I don't get to see or comment on everyone as I'd like to! SO when I log in I make sure to comment on those people who have filled out my home page. I figure whoever makes it on that page deserves a comment. I know it doesn't cover everyone, but it is all hit and miss anyway.

For what it's worth, I do feel terribly guilty about not accepting and also deleting friends who haven't been active in 2 - 3 months unless I hear a reason otherwise. I do want to be surrounded by people who do the work, achieve their goals, and for the most part have a philosophy that I can relate to whether it is mine or not. As it is, I can't remember many names of my friends if it isn't part of their sign in name. I started making a document of who asked to be friended so I can remember what they said to me! It gets hard to remember everyone!

Pic or no pic, message or no message I will usually add because I dont want to miss out of what could be the greatest friend I could have on here just because something this small. I usually (on purpose) dont write a message just to see if I will be accepted.

I look through my friend list from time to time to see if they log or if they comment, at that point then I delete or keep them. Also I will look to see what they have been commenting on to see if we share the same values or goals, that helps me decide if they are keepers or not (LOL). So add me or not, Im just me, Im on MFP to lose weight, get fit, learn info and if people or friends on here can help me do it and I can return the fav then I want to be their friend. If you dont log or dont comment we wont stay friends long!!!

The ones I've accepted who didn't have a message, generally don't interact much anyway. If they want to sit on my friends list and collect dust, meh. As long as they don't go all crazy/pervy on me, I don't care.