In need of some serious support
elphie754
Posts: 7,574 Member
Hey everyone. I know I’ve been slightly MIA lately. Lots going at home, and trying very hard to keep things together right now. October has always been a hard month for me, following the death of my fiancé 8 years ago. We are coming up on the anniversary, and it is always hard. Thabkfully, this year, myself and both significant other managed to get vacation the last week of October, so I won’t be alone. We are planning a family vacation at an indoor water park (munchkin will be 20 months old) for a few days which will be nice.
However, these past months have been hard. Our one cat has been very sick, and we have been fighting like crazy to get her better. Yesterday she took a. Turn for the worse and can’t even stand up. I am absolutely devastated. Right now I’m home with her, by myself, and seem to be watching her slowly decline. I am so worried that I am going to go check on her and she will have passed. It’s so hard. The reality of possibly having to say goodbye to her is just too much for me.
I’m sorry. I know this isn’t exactly weight loss related, it’s just the grief of everything has been hitting be so hard. This place has been such a rock in my journey and a source of strength for me, so hoping maybe it can give me the strength to get through this as well.
However, these past months have been hard. Our one cat has been very sick, and we have been fighting like crazy to get her better. Yesterday she took a. Turn for the worse and can’t even stand up. I am absolutely devastated. Right now I’m home with her, by myself, and seem to be watching her slowly decline. I am so worried that I am going to go check on her and she will have passed. It’s so hard. The reality of possibly having to say goodbye to her is just too much for me.
I’m sorry. I know this isn’t exactly weight loss related, it’s just the grief of everything has been hitting be so hard. This place has been such a rock in my journey and a source of strength for me, so hoping maybe it can give me the strength to get through this as well.
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Replies
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I have a dog so i know how much pets can mean to us, i can only send you a virtual hug and hope your cat is not suffering, i cant say much else.take care0
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I'm so sorry. I've lost pets, and it's HARD.
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So far, she seems to be making it through the night. I’ve been waking up every few hours to check on her and syringe feed her small amounts. I find her in a different spot each time which gives me a little hope. We are gosling that the steroids kick in and reduce the inflammation in her intestine. It’s a Small hope, but we can’t give up on her yet. As of Friday the vet had though she was improving and really thought there was a chance her condition was reversible. Then in 48 hours she got so much worse.9
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@Elphie745, I am so sorry you are going through this with your cat, especially at this time of the year as I know, from previous posts, how hard it is for you. I am also glad that you are planning a family trip. That babe of yours is growing so fast, I still remember you pregnancy and Munchkin's birth.
I lost my cat a few years ago. Unfortunately the symptoms you are discribing sound similar to my Jasper's.
It started with his coat getting rough, bad breath, and a decline in appetite.
We were at the vet every 2 weeks then every week for months. He was on steroids to try and help his appetite, and I was feeding him homemade beef and fish broth every 2 hrs when he was lethargic. There would be the odd few days to a week where he would pick up and eat on his own, but they got less and less frequent.
The vet, she was so good, asked if she could send stool and blood samples off to a couple of veterinary colleges in the USA and Canada. Neither could come up with a diagnosis.
One day I got up in the early hours to give him a feed and knew it was time to let him go. He was just not recovering and his quality of life was so poor it would have been cruel to keep hoping.
We sat together until my SO got up for work, then I sat him on my knee while SO drove us to the vet.
We all, including my vet, had a good cry, then said goodbye.
I gave permission for an autopsy and samples were sent out. No diagnosis was made, but his intestines were flat and ribbon like, no one knew why.
I'm telling you this long story because, in hindsight, I should have been more loving and let him go sooner.
If you can't get a good diagnosis, and only steroids will give your cat an appitite, please be kind and don't keep hoping for 4 months like I did.
I sat crying as I type, and send you and the rest of your family big hugs.
Cheers, h.22 -
middlehaitch wrote: »@Elphie745, I am so sorry you are going through this with your cat, especially at this time of the year as I know, from previous posts, how hard it is for you. I am also glad that you are planning a family trip. That babe of yours is growing so fast, I still remember you pregnancy and Munchkin's birth.
I lost my cat a few years ago. Unfortunately the symptoms you are discribing sound similar to my Jasper's.
It started with his coat getting rough, bad breath, and a decline in appetite.
We were at the vet every 2 weeks then every week for months. He was on steroids to try and help his appetite, and I was feeding him homemade beef and fish broth every 2 hrs when he was lethargic. There would be the odd few days to a week where he would pick up and eat on his own, but they got less and less frequent.
The vet, she was so good, asked if she could send stool and blood samples off to a couple of veterinary colleges in the USA and Canada. Neither could come up with a diagnosis.
One day I got up in the early hours to give him a feed and knew it was time to let him go. He was just not recovering and his quality of life was so poor it would have been cruel to keep hoping.
We sat together until my SO got up for work, then I sat him on my knee while SO drove us to the vet.
We all, including my vet, had a good cry, then said goodbye.
I gave permission for an autopsy and samples were sent out. No diagnosis was made, but his intestines were flat and ribbon like, no one knew why.
I'm telling you this long story because, in hindsight, I should have been more loving and let him go sooner.
If you can't get a good diagnosis, and only steroids will give your cat an appitite, please be kind and don't keep hoping for 4 months like I did.
I sat crying as I type, and send you and the rest of your family big hugs.
Cheers, h.
She had an official diagnosis of IBD after an ultra sound on Tuesday. She had severe thickiening of her intestine, which is why she’s been losing weight. She can’t absorb anything. She had been diagnosed with that years ago, but it was being managed with diet and probiotics. About 6-7 months ago, the company stopped making the dry food she was eating and changed the formula of the wet food. That is when she stared losing weight because she didn’t like the change. We tried numerous different foods but she just didn’t like any of them. That in combination with the stress of the move (we moved in April into a larger apartment), she lost weight. Went back to the vet and her blood work was fine, but thin, so they treated her with steroids and for potential worms (other cats stool had been positive so both were treated). She got better, but then started to decline again in September. She is also being tested for feline leukemia and aids. Vet said he sees this type of rapid decline in cats with those diseases.
Should we have to make that difficult choice, we would do it at home. Both our vet as well as a local vet agency, have home services. We had to call them out with my parents dog two years ago. It was honestly the best choice we ever made because she got to be peaceful in her own home, and they took care of everything. We just aren’t ready to let her go yet because she just started the new medications, and we are holding on to hope that she might bounce back.7 -
So sorry you are going through this. Pets are family. It sounds like your baby has a wonderful, loving home. Prayers for you and her.1
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middlehaitch wrote: »@Elphie745, I am so sorry you are going through this with your cat, especially at this time of the year as I know, from previous posts, how hard it is for you. I am also glad that you are planning a family trip. That babe of yours is growing so fast, I still remember you pregnancy and Munchkin's birth.
I lost my cat a few years ago. Unfortunately the symptoms you are discribing sound similar to my Jasper's.
It started with his coat getting rough, bad breath, and a decline in appetite.
We were at the vet every 2 weeks then every week for months. He was on steroids to try and help his appetite, and I was feeding him homemade beef and fish broth every 2 hrs when he was lethargic. There would be the odd few days to a week where he would pick up and eat on his own, but they got less and less frequent.
The vet, she was so good, asked if she could send stool and blood samples off to a couple of veterinary colleges in the USA and Canada. Neither could come up with a diagnosis.
One day I got up in the early hours to give him a feed and knew it was time to let him go. He was just not recovering and his quality of life was so poor it would have been cruel to keep hoping.
We sat together until my SO got up for work, then I sat him on my knee while SO drove us to the vet.
We all, including my vet, had a good cry, then said goodbye.
I gave permission for an autopsy and samples were sent out. No diagnosis was made, but his intestines were flat and ribbon like, no one knew why.
I'm telling you this long story because, in hindsight, I should have been more loving and let him go sooner.
If you can't get a good diagnosis, and only steroids will give your cat an appitite, please be kind and don't keep hoping for 4 months like I did.
I sat crying as I type, and send you and the rest of your family big hugs.
Cheers, h.
She had an official diagnosis of IBD after an ultra sound on Tuesday. She had severe thickiening of her intestine, which is why she’s been losing weight. She can’t absorb anything. She had been diagnosed with that years ago, but it was being managed with diet and probiotics. About 6-7 months ago, the company stopped making the dry food she was eating and changed the formula of the wet food. That is when she stared losing weight because she didn’t like the change. We tried numerous different foods but she just didn’t like any of them. That in combination with the stress of the move (we moved in April into a larger apartment), she lost weight. Went back to the vet and her blood work was fine, but thin, so they treated her with steroids and for potential worms (other cats stool had been positive so both were treated). She got better, but then started to decline again in September. She is also being tested for feline leukemia and aids. Vet said he sees this type of rapid decline in cats with those diseases.
Should we have to make that difficult choice, we would do it at home. Both our vet as well as a local vet agency, have home services. We had to call them out with my parents dog two years ago. It was honestly the best choice we ever made because she got to be peaceful in her own home, and they took care of everything. We just aren’t ready to let her go yet because she just started the new medications, and we are holding on to hope that she might bounce back.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Huge hugs to you! Having a vet come to the house is a blessing. I am fortunate to have a vet that will do this, too. Makes a totally horrible situation a little more bearable.
I have a personal guideline for when the inevitable time comes and euthanasia becomes the kindest option:
Better a day too soon than even one day too late.
I hope the meds turn her situation around. Keep us posted.
Thinking of you!3 -
I may be being too hopeful, but a slight improvement this morning. Gave her the fluids and she decided she was done with them so she got up and tried to walk away. She didn’t make it far and she is so weak she can barely stand, but at least she was able to get away when she had had enough.6
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It's so hard when your pets are sick - big hugs for you and kitty.0
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middlehaitch wrote: »@Elphie745, I am so sorry you are going through this with your cat, especially at this time of the year as I know, from previous posts, how hard it is for you. I am also glad that you are planning a family trip. That babe of yours is growing so fast, I still remember you pregnancy and Munchkin's birth.
I lost my cat a few years ago. Unfortunately the symptoms you are discribing sound similar to my Jasper's.
It started with his coat getting rough, bad breath, and a decline in appetite.
We were at the vet every 2 weeks then every week for months. He was on steroids to try and help his appetite, and I was feeding him homemade beef and fish broth every 2 hrs when he was lethargic. There would be the odd few days to a week where he would pick up and eat on his own, but they got less and less frequent.
The vet, she was so good, asked if she could send stool and blood samples off to a couple of veterinary colleges in the USA and Canada. Neither could come up with a diagnosis.
One day I got up in the early hours to give him a feed and knew it was time to let him go. He was just not recovering and his quality of life was so poor it would have been cruel to keep hoping.
We sat together until my SO got up for work, then I sat him on my knee while SO drove us to the vet.
We all, including my vet, had a good cry, then said goodbye.
I gave permission for an autopsy and samples were sent out. No diagnosis was made, but his intestines were flat and ribbon like, no one knew why.
I'm telling you this long story because, in hindsight, I should have been more loving and let him go sooner.
If you can't get a good diagnosis, and only steroids will give your cat an appitite, please be kind and don't keep hoping for 4 months like I did.
I sat crying as I type, and send you and the rest of your family big hugs.
Cheers, h.
She had an official diagnosis of IBD after an ultra sound on Tuesday. She had severe thickiening of her intestine, which is why she’s been losing weight. She can’t absorb anything. She had been diagnosed with that years ago, but it was being managed with diet and probiotics. About 6-7 months ago, the company stopped making the dry food she was eating and changed the formula of the wet food. That is when she stared losing weight because she didn’t like the change. We tried numerous different foods but she just didn’t like any of them. That in combination with the stress of the move (we moved in April into a larger apartment), she lost weight. Went back to the vet and her blood work was fine, but thin, so they treated her with steroids and for potential worms (other cats stool had been positive so both were treated). She got better, but then started to decline again in September. She is also being tested for feline leukemia and aids. Vet said he sees this type of rapid decline in cats with those diseases.
Should we have to make that difficult choice, we would do it at home. Both our vet as well as a local vet agency, have home services. We had to call them out with my parents dog two years ago. It was honestly the best choice we ever made because she got to be peaceful in her own home, and they took care of everything. We just aren’t ready to let her go yet because she just started the new medications, and we are holding on to hope that she might bounce back.
I’m so sorry to hear about your kitty. This might be a shot in the dark but may be worth trying... you said your kitty was diagnosed with IBD and started struggling after the food changed it’s formula? Many vets are not well versed in nutrition, and get a kick back from food companies kibble they sell to their patients . My puppy had similar issues and was also diagnosed with IBD, they put him on that science diet junk and he just kept getting sicker. They also recommended steroids but he was so young I didn’t want to go down that route just yet... what saved his life was an HPP processed (kills all the bad bacteria in a way that doesn’t effect the food by pressure, important for a pet with a compromised immune system) RAW diet. We feed him a brand called Natures Instinct and it seriously saved his life... I was the last person who would have believed it would have made a difference, but I had a friend who went through a similar thing with her dog and she recommended it to me and I was desperate to help him. We saw the change immediately over night, he went from having constant diarrhea/throwing up for 8 months to the healthiest pup.
I hope your kitty gets better soon 🙁.3 -
middlehaitch wrote: »@Elphie745, I am so sorry you are going through this with your cat, especially at this time of the year as I know, from previous posts, how hard it is for you. I am also glad that you are planning a family trip. That babe of yours is growing so fast, I still remember you pregnancy and Munchkin's birth.
I lost my cat a few years ago. Unfortunately the symptoms you are discribing sound similar to my Jasper's.
It started with his coat getting rough, bad breath, and a decline in appetite.
We were at the vet every 2 weeks then every week for months. He was on steroids to try and help his appetite, and I was feeding him homemade beef and fish broth every 2 hrs when he was lethargic. There would be the odd few days to a week where he would pick up and eat on his own, but they got less and less frequent.
The vet, she was so good, asked if she could send stool and blood samples off to a couple of veterinary colleges in the USA and Canada. Neither could come up with a diagnosis.
One day I got up in the early hours to give him a feed and knew it was time to let him go. He was just not recovering and his quality of life was so poor it would have been cruel to keep hoping.
We sat together until my SO got up for work, then I sat him on my knee while SO drove us to the vet.
We all, including my vet, had a good cry, then said goodbye.
I gave permission for an autopsy and samples were sent out. No diagnosis was made, but his intestines were flat and ribbon like, no one knew why.
I'm telling you this long story because, in hindsight, I should have been more loving and let him go sooner.
If you can't get a good diagnosis, and only steroids will give your cat an appitite, please be kind and don't keep hoping for 4 months like I did.
I sat crying as I type, and send you and the rest of your family big hugs.
Cheers, h.
She had an official diagnosis of IBD after an ultra sound on Tuesday. She had severe thickiening of her intestine, which is why she’s been losing weight. She can’t absorb anything. She had been diagnosed with that years ago, but it was being managed with diet and probiotics. About 6-7 months ago, the company stopped making the dry food she was eating and changed the formula of the wet food. That is when she stared losing weight because she didn’t like the change. We tried numerous different foods but she just didn’t like any of them. That in combination with the stress of the move (we moved in April into a larger apartment), she lost weight. Went back to the vet and her blood work was fine, but thin, so they treated her with steroids and for potential worms (other cats stool had been positive so both were treated). She got better, but then started to decline again in September. She is also being tested for feline leukemia and aids. Vet said he sees this type of rapid decline in cats with those diseases.
Should we have to make that difficult choice, we would do it at home. Both our vet as well as a local vet agency, have home services. We had to call them out with my parents dog two years ago. It was honestly the best choice we ever made because she got to be peaceful in her own home, and they took care of everything. We just aren’t ready to let her go yet because she just started the new medications, and we are holding on to hope that she might bounce back.
I’m so sorry to hear about your kitty. This might be a shot in the dark but may be worth trying... you said your kitty was diagnosed with IBD and started struggling after the food changed it’s formula? Many vets are not well versed in nutrition, and get a kick back from food companies kibble they sell to their patients . My puppy had similar issues and was also diagnosed with IBD, they put him on that science diet junk and he just kept getting sicker. They also recommended steroids but he was so young I didn’t want to go down that route just yet... what saved his life was an HPP processed (kills all the bad bacteria in a way that doesn’t effect the food by pressure, important for a pet with a compromised immune system) RAW diet. We feed him a brand called Natures Instinct and it seriously saved his life... I was the last person who would have believed it would have made a difference, but I had a friend who went through a similar thing with her dog and she recommended it to me and I was desperate to help him. We saw the change immediately over night, he went from having constant diarrhea/throwing up for 8 months to the healthiest pup.
I hope your kitty gets better soon 🙁.
Thank you. She is on prescription food right now, since it has to be blended and syringe fed.0 -
I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this right now. I have a dog who is aging and sometimes unwell and my throat always gets tight when I go to check on her in the morning because I too have that fear of finding that she has passed away during the night. The reality of saying goodbye is so hard especially when you're currently dealing with the anniversary of a significant loss. My thoughts to you and your family. 1
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I'm so very sorry you are going through all of this! That is a lot to handle all at once. I wish I had something helpful to say but I have to give is empathy. One year ago I had to put my old kitty down as she suddenly went from slow to decline to rapid and I didn't want her to starve to death. It was devastating. This also happened the week before I returned to work from maternity leave when I was already feeling emotional and vulnerable. I hope your kitty improves and I'm glad you and your SO are able to take a mini vacation at the end of the month so you won't be alone. HUGS 1
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Thank you all for the much needed support.
I went to work tonight with the gut feeling it would be the last time I would see her, and said my goodbyes. It is going to sound crazy, but for the last half hour at work, I haven’t felt right. I couldn’t get comfortable, felt nauseous and very lightheaded. Was sitting in the truck with my partner and got very dizzy and even said something isn’t right. Texted SO who is home and he said she was stable. Tried to shake the feeling but just couldn’t. He just called to let me know he went to pick her up and she stopped breathing. I think I knew she was gone.
I am heartbroken. I feel guilty that I’m at work when she passed. I know we did everything we could for her. I had even come to closure thatof she was still like that in the morning, we would have to put her to sleep. I was being selfish in trying to keep her around when she was so sick. I think she was trying to tell us that because she kept reaching her paw out to whoever was closest and tried to meow.31 -
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I have lost cats also. They're like family members. Especially as we have no children. We had 4 at one point. Now we have one left, she's such a character and I treat her like my baby and she adores the attention.
I feel your pain. The cat on my picture is the most recent one we lost. She was so beautiful and I miss her dearly. Its been 3 and a half years since we lost her and I still cry every now and then. What helped me was concentrating on my other cat and appreciating every moment with her. I dont know if you have any more pets, if you haven't appreciate every day your with your loved ones. Life is too short ❤1 -
Strange, I was just thinking about you the other day and how much I always liked your posts a couple years ago. Crazy that your baby is already 20 months old - time sure flies.
I am so sorry that you lost your sweet kitty. Please don't feel guilty that she passed while you were at work. This may be total woo but I always have this belief that animals know it's hard for us and sometimes they really try to let go when we aren't around, to spare us the pain. She may have been holding on for you and felt ready to go when she knew you wouldn't have to witness it.
So many hugs to you. 4 -
I’m so sorry for the loss of your kitty:(.0
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I'm so sorry
Don't second guess that you could have done more for her. You obviously loved her very much and did your best. Take comfort in knowing it was her time to go; the decision you'd made (had she made it through the night) was the right one. 0 -
I lost my husband of 16 yrs together 19 years 3 yrs ago and November lost our dog of 12 yrs. I understand the lost part.4
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Our other cat is so sad. He keeps looking for her in the places she used to sleep. He wouldn’t go near her yesterday.
Not sure if maybe he was scared or upset. I feel so bad for him. The black cat is the one who passed.
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Update: our other cat was so depressed that he would wander around crying all night and it just broke my heart. So I called the shelter and told them what happened. They had a huge intake of kittens this month, so we went to get a friend for our other cat. So far he has been tolerating the new addition. Little worried about him (not the kitten) though because he’s been vomiting numerous times today. Thankfully we have a vet appt tomorrow for both of them.
New kitten:
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Congrats on the new kitty. That is exactly what we did.
The established cat took a while to adjust, the new one was skittish and ferrel, but did accept her in the end.
Cheers, h.0 -
I was devastated when my beautiful husky died young of cancer. Took me a really long time to get over it. Probably would have taken much less time if I had been able to get a new dog, but that wasn't possible for me.
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Update: our other cat was so depressed that he would wander around crying all night and it just broke my heart. So I called the shelter and told them what happened. They had a huge intake of kittens this month, so we went to get a friend for our other cat. So far he has been tolerating the new addition. Little worried about him (not the kitten) though because he’s been vomiting numerous times today. Thankfully we have a vet appt tomorrow for both of them.
New kitten:
Aww 🙁, our cat did that too after our dog died. She howled all night, it was such an awful eerie sound! She stood by the window looking out waiting for him to come home. It took her 2 years to start acting herself again. I bet it was a good idea you brought home the kitten, hope it will help him (and you) take your mind off things.2 -
Update: our other cat was so depressed that he would wander around crying all night and it just broke my heart. So I called the shelter and told them what happened. They had a huge intake of kittens this month, so we went to get a friend for our other cat. So far he has been tolerating the new addition. Little worried about him (not the kitten) though because he’s been vomiting numerous times today. Thankfully we have a vet appt tomorrow for both of them.
We had a dog die suddenly a couple of years ago and our remaining dog seemed unhappy and a little lost until we adopted our new boy. He helped her heal . . . actually, he helped all of us heal. Best wishes for your family and your new kitten!0 -
What a cutie!
We lost our 15 year old dog in September and the cat she raised who was her best buddy was absolutely inconsolable. Last week we adopted another dog and I am amazed at how well they have bonded and how he has come back to his old self.
I hope your new kitty helps all of you recover - always space in your heart for good memories and a new love.1
This discussion has been closed.
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