Grandpa Gary Jokes

CaptainFantastic01
CaptainFantastic01 Posts: 9,558 Member
in Chit-Chat
This is where I will empart all the grandpa Gary Jokes to you

Replies

  • CaptainFantastic01
    CaptainFantastic01 Posts: 9,558 Member
    A frog walks into a bank and is looking to get a loan to start a small buisiness. He walks up to the teller, who’s name is patricia wack. He explains his situation to her and she tells him she can’t give him a loan without collateral. He explains that he understands and places a toy train on the counter. Confused Miss wack explains that she cannot grant the loan as this is not really worth anything. The frog gets angry and starts yelling
    “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? My father is Mc Jagger!”
    As she cannot calm the frog down she grabs her manager and explains the situation to him. The manager takes a moment then says to her
    “It’s a Knick knack patty whack, give the frog a loan. His old man’s a rolling stone”
  • CaptainFantastic01
    CaptainFantastic01 Posts: 9,558 Member
    A man returns to his childhood home after decades away. His family had moved out and a new family moved in and they were kind enough to let him walk through the house. He tells them which one was his and admires what they’ve done with it. He asks to see the attic and the family baffled that there is one obliges. In the attic there was a box of his things, still there after all these years. His football trophies, an award for attendance, love notes he never sent, and his letterman’s jacket. In awe that all this was here he pulled on the jacket and stuffed his hands In the pocket. Inside there was a ticket for a shoe repair store.
    “I must have brought my shoes there and forgot!”
    The guy looks up the repair shop and miraculously it still exists. He goes and brings the ticket to the man and his eyes grow wide
    “IT’S YOU” says the man at the counter “we’ve waited so long! We didn’t think you’d return!”
    The man goes back into the store, to grab the shoes and comes back out after a few minutes and says
    “Your shoes will be ready In 4 days, come back then”
  • kindalikevelma
    kindalikevelma Posts: 1,337 Member
    kace_kay wrote: »
    CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »
    A frog walks into a bank and is looking to get a loan to start a small buisiness. He walks up to the teller, who’s name is patricia wack. He explains his situation to her and she tells him she can’t give him a loan without collateral. He explains that he understands and places a toy train on the counter. Confused Miss wack explains that she cannot grant the loan as this is not really worth anything. The frog gets angry and starts yelling
    “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? My father is Mc Jagger!”
    As she cannot calm the frog down she grabs her manager and explains the situation to him. The manager takes a moment then says to her
    “It’s a Knick knack patty whack, give the frog a loan. His old man’s a rolling stone”
    CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »
    A man returns to his childhood home after decades away. His family had moved out and a new family moved in and they were kind enough to let him walk through the house. He tells them which one was his and admires what they’ve done with it. He asks to see the attic and the family baffled that there is one obliges. In the attic there was a box of his things, still there after all these years. His football trophies, an award for attendance, love notes he never sent, and his letterman’s jacket. In awe that all this was here he pulled on the jacket and stuffed his hands In the pocket. Inside there was a ticket for a shoe repair store.
    “I must have brought my shoes there and forgot!”
    The guy looks up the repair shop and miraculously it still exists. He goes and brings the ticket to the man and his eyes grow wide
    “IT’S YOU” says the man at the counter “we’ve waited so long! We didn’t think you’d return!”
    The man goes back into the store, to grab the shoes and comes back out after a few minutes and says
    “Your shoes will be ready In 4 days, come back then”

    Grandpa jokes FTW :lol:

    They’re like dad jokes, but better.
  • CaptainFantastic01
    CaptainFantastic01 Posts: 9,558 Member
    kindalikevelma wrote: »
    kace_kay wrote: »
    CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »
    A frog walks into a bank and is looking to get a loan to start a small buisiness. He walks up to the teller, who’s name is patricia wack. He explains his situation to her and she tells him she can’t give him a loan without collateral. He explains that he understands and places a toy train on the counter. Confused Miss wack explains that she cannot grant the loan as this is not really worth anything. The frog gets angry and starts yelling
    “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? My father is Mc Jagger!”
    As she cannot calm the frog down she grabs her manager and explains the situation to him. The manager takes a moment then says to her
    “It’s a Knick knack patty whack, give the frog a loan. His old man’s a rolling stone”
    CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »
    A man returns to his childhood home after decades away. His family had moved out and a new family moved in and they were kind enough to let him walk through the house. He tells them which one was his and admires what they’ve done with it. He asks to see the attic and the family baffled that there is one obliges. In the attic there was a box of his things, still there after all these years. His football trophies, an award for attendance, love notes he never sent, and his letterman’s jacket. In awe that all this was here he pulled on the jacket and stuffed his hands In the pocket. Inside there was a ticket for a shoe repair store.
    “I must have brought my shoes there and forgot!”
    The guy looks up the repair shop and miraculously it still exists. He goes and brings the ticket to the man and his eyes grow wide
    “IT’S YOU” says the man at the counter “we’ve waited so long! We didn’t think you’d return!”
    The man goes back into the store, to grab the shoes and comes back out after a few minutes and says
    “Your shoes will be ready In 4 days, come back then”

    Grandpa jokes FTW :lol:

    They’re like dad jokes, but better.

    🤗🤗
  • GoodLardy
    GoodLardy Posts: 163 Member
    CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »
    A frog walks into a bank and is looking to get a loan to start a small buisiness. He walks up to the teller, who’s name is patricia wack. He explains his situation to her and she tells him she can’t give him a loan without collateral. He explains that he understands and places a toy train on the counter. Confused Miss wack explains that she cannot grant the loan as this is not really worth anything. The frog gets angry and starts yelling
    “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? My father is Mc Jagger!”
    As she cannot calm the frog down she grabs her manager and explains the situation to him. The manager takes a moment then says to her
    “It’s a Knick knack patty whack, give the frog a loan. His old man’s a rolling stone”


    A coworker always tries to tell me this joke, but she laughs so hard I’ve never heard the entire thing. Until now. Thanks Captain!

  • DawnOfTheDead_Lift
    DawnOfTheDead_Lift Posts: 753 Member
    Me:"Hey Grandpa Gary, make me a sandwich."
    Grandpa Gary: "Abra Kadabra, you're a sandwich!"

    Me:"Hey Grandpa Gary, I'm hungry."
    Grandpa Gary: "Hi, Hungry!"
  • CaptainFantastic01
    CaptainFantastic01 Posts: 9,558 Member
    The_Devil_in_Miss_Jones wrote: »
    A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!

    OH MY GOD lol
    DawnOfTheDead_Lift wrote: »
    Me:"Hey Grandpa Gary, make me a sandwich."
    Grandpa Gary: "Abra Kadabra, you're a sandwich!"

    Me:"Hey Grandpa Gary, I'm hungry."
    Grandpa Gary: "Hi, Hungry!"

    These are god tier dad jokes i'm so proud

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