FIRST WEEK FAILURE
kristinstephenson86
Posts: 27 Member
I pretty much went over every single day my first week logging. There was maybe 1 or 2 days I did ok. It is so hard for me to count calories and stay under. Did anyone else struggle their first week?? My name is Kristin by the way. I am 32 (but look like a 28 
), and I am the biggest I have ever been since having my daughter at 19. I am currently about 180-185 pounds, and I am only 5'1. I carry most of my weight in my lower half, but my curves are at the precipice of being gone! I still have some shape, and I am more muscular than your average female (which I don't like). I would say I am spoon shaped with the extra weight not quite pear but almost. I find it is really hard for me to eat a very low amount of calories which is a little under 1400 to lose a pound a week. I walk for 45-50 minutes every day on lunch (which doesn't burn a lot of calories) and I try to do HIIT a couple times a week. I am scared I am just going to get fatter and fatter, never lose weight, and lose my femininity. I feel totally unsexy for the first time in my life. I feel terrible, because I see middle aged women with no shape anymore, and it makes me depressed because I feel that will be me. I know that is shallow. I have always been relatively attractive, and at this point don't even get naked in front of my boyfriend and feel awful about myself!! I have PCOS, and there is SO MUCH conflicting evidence about what works and what doesn't I am totally lost, and sometimes feel like I'm trying this all for naught. Any thoughts!!? Thank you all.
), and I am the biggest I have ever been since having my daughter at 19. I am currently about 180-185 pounds, and I am only 5'1. I carry most of my weight in my lower half, but my curves are at the precipice of being gone! I still have some shape, and I am more muscular than your average female (which I don't like). I would say I am spoon shaped with the extra weight not quite pear but almost. I find it is really hard for me to eat a very low amount of calories which is a little under 1400 to lose a pound a week. I walk for 45-50 minutes every day on lunch (which doesn't burn a lot of calories) and I try to do HIIT a couple times a week. I am scared I am just going to get fatter and fatter, never lose weight, and lose my femininity. I feel totally unsexy for the first time in my life. I feel terrible, because I see middle aged women with no shape anymore, and it makes me depressed because I feel that will be me. I know that is shallow. I have always been relatively attractive, and at this point don't even get naked in front of my boyfriend and feel awful about myself!! I have PCOS, and there is SO MUCH conflicting evidence about what works and what doesn't I am totally lost, and sometimes feel like I'm trying this all for naught. Any thoughts!!? Thank you all. 10
Replies
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Are you completely sedentary outside of exercise? Most people aren't but they set themselves as that and then struggle with the low calories.6
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Thank you for responding! Yes I sit at a desk job all day, and I have to travel in a car sitting several times a week. So it is accurate that I put sedentary
My body HATES losing weight, and I have always been heavier even in my most athletic days. My body will make me go insanely hungry and my brain becomes obsessed with food as I lose. And it is really really hard. I also lose much slower than your average person. The cards feel stacked up against me, and makes me feel really depressed. I don't want to steadily gain weight- I want to look good and feel good in my 30s. But I feel like I'm going to just balloon up over these years with very little control. Even when I was exercising like an athlete in my mid 20s I was still over my recommended BMI. Sorry a little depressed about it!! 4 -
First of all, you're still alive, so you haven't failed, yet. Tomorrow is a new day, don't beat yourself up.
Second, many people with PCOS do well on a low carb diet because PCOS is associated with insulin resistance. You don't have to go full-on keto to get benefits. Try setting your carb macro a little lower and see if it helps you. I have diabetes and eat about 150g net carbs per day with good results. Eating lower carb also reduces cravings for some people, maybe it will help you.
It's difficult for petite women because their calorie requirement is so small! You have my sympathy there. Try to get some exercise to earn back a few extra calories, it can make a big difference in your morale. Try to embrace your muscles, they help you burn calories and fill up any loose skin you will get from losing weight. You may also want to reduce your rate of loss to half a pound a week - I know that seems slow, but it's better than giving up and continuing to gain!
Finally - you gotta love yourself no matter what. You are not doomed to be overweight the rest of your life, but if you live long enough you WILL become a middle aged lady and your body will change. Then an old lady and your body will change further. Look at the older women you admire, and find ways to become someone you want to be.
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This is a story you are telling yourself. Limited thinking, negative thinking, catastrophising.
You can lose weight. Set a reasonable goal of "Lose 1 pound per week." Log your food, even if you go over. Take a walk outdoors. Log that. Eat those extra calories. Study your FOOD page and figure out how to make this work.
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I do try to go low carb as much as I can, but I feel so hungry. I don't know if there is a certain amount of time you have to do it to stop feeling so hungry or what. And thank you Riverside. I appreciate all the positivity, support, and encouragement. This is really hard for me; I feel like my body fights me the entire way. I have been eating healthier at the very least and not focusing just on calories, but also on the type of foods I am taking in. I also did pretty good for Thanksgiving. It feels like I am starving when I attempt to lose weight, and makes the process miserable for me. Even if I am eating really healthy I will still feel really hungry. I do think genes play a part some, and it sucks!!5
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kristinstephenson86 wrote: »Thank you for responding! Yes I sit at a desk job all day, and I have to travel in a car sitting several times a week. So it is accurate that I put sedentary My body HATES losing weight, and I have always been heavier even in my most athletic days. My body will make me go insanely hungry and my brain becomes obsessed with food as I lose. And it is really really hard. I also lose much slower than your average person. The cards feel stacked up against me, and makes me feel really depressed. I don't want to steadily gain weight- I want to look good and feel good in my 30s. But I feel like I'm going to just balloon up over these years with very little control. Even when I was exercising like an athlete in my mid 20s I was still over my recommended BMI. Sorry a little depressed about it!!
But if you just keep thinking all of that it becomes self fulfilling prophecy...
Set some fitness goals and work on eating nutritious tasty food, and then weight loss becomes a nice by product of all this if you're there or thereabouts with your calorie goal. If 1400 is too little, aim for 1550, the loss will be slower but if you're consistent that's better than getting into a starve/binge cycle.
Look at your macros to see what keeps you fuller longer.7 -
kristinstephenson86 wrote: »I do try to go low carb as much as I can, but I feel so hungry. I don't know if there is a certain amount of time you have to do it to stop feeling so hungry or what. And thank you Riverside. I appreciate all the positivity, support, and encouragement. This is really hard for me; I feel like my body fights me the entire way. I have been eating healthier at the very least and not focusing just on calories, but also on the type of foods I am taking in. I also did pretty good for Thanksgiving. It feels like I am starving when I attempt to lose weight, and makes the process miserable for me. Even if I am eating really healthy I will still feel really hungry. I do think genes play a part some, and it sucks!!
Then perhaps going low carb isn't for you? Different people find different foods satiating. If carbs are one of yours, then cutting them down severely will leave you feeling hungry and miserable.
For example, I don't find fats satiate me at all. Carbs do. So - for me - doing a low carb/high fat or ketogenic diet to lose weight would be disasterous and doomed to fail.10 -
Tavis- I just learned what macros were the 2 days ago! So much to learn, and I plan on slowly figuring this out more. Hopefully it works for me. Mind/matter- Its a catch 22 because my pcos HATES carbs yet I feel like I'm starving without them. Thats why its hard to stay positive, because I really do feel like it is set up against me or for failure. That's why I am deciding to be active on the boards I need as much help as I can get. Right now, it really does feel impossible as I have tried this so many times. There was one time I was literally starving it felt like, and I was eating so so healthy, and I was still overweight! I want to figure out what I am doing wrong!
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cmriverside wrote: »This is a story you are telling yourself. Limited thinking, negative thinking, catastrophising.
You can lose weight. Set a reasonable goal of "Lose 1 pound per week." Log your food, even if you go over. Take a walk outdoors. Log that. Eat those extra calories. Study your FOOD page and figure out how to make this work.
I second this.
It took time for you to gain your extra weight, it's now going to take a considerable amount of time to lose it.
One thing many beginners do is radically alter the amount and type of foods they eat which only ends up making them miserable. You can likely eat all the same foods you always have but in smaller portions--I do and so do many, many other members. It's important to still enjoy the foods you eat if you want any kind of sustainability.
Also, don't mistake eating "healthy" foods as the way to lose weight. My husband eats way more "healthy" foods than I do but he eats way too much of it so he struggles with his weight whereas I eat what I enjoy--pizza, burgers, ice cream, chocolate, and plenty of other "unhealthy" things that husband won't touch--in appropriate quantities and have lost the weight that I set out to. FWIW, I'm also a bigger-boned girl who has has always been larger, even at my fittest. If I can do it, you can do it!
Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Give yourself time to learn. It's actually better to take your time and develop good habits for the long run rather than rushing to an unsustainable goal in misery. Think of this as a marathon not a sprint.8 -
kristinstephenson86 wrote: »Tavis- I just learned what macros were the 2 days ago! So much to learn, and I plan on slowly figuring this out more. Hopefully it works for me. Mind/matter- Its a catch 22 because my pcos HATES carbs yet I feel like I'm starving without them. Thats why its hard to stay positive, because I really do feel like it is set up against me or for failure. That's why I am deciding to be active on the boards I need as much help as I can get. Right now, it really does feel impossible as I have tried this so many times. There was one time I was literally starving it felt like, and I was eating so so healthy, and I was still overweight! I want to figure out what I am doing wrong!
You're not doing anything wrong. PCOS is an illness. Your body IS fighting you, which is why you feel like your body is fighting you. You're going to get a lot of advice from people who know a lot about dieting but have no idea about the specific needs of someone with PCOS.
It does take a couple of weeks eating lower carb for the cravings to stop, in my experience. The thing about insulin resistance is that since your body has to make so much extra insulin to digest carbs, and insulin makes you hungry and causes your blood sugar to fluctuate, eating carbs can cause mad cravings. When my diabetes was undiagnosed I would eat whole bags of candy and feel like I was starving. When I started limiting carbs to a level which kept my blood glucose consistent I felt much better. But it took a little while to adjust.
How about first focusing on making sure you get enough protein and fat? It also makes a huge difference when you eat carbs - trying to work out on low blood sugar, for example, feels awful, so eat a little something before your exercise, and a little something to refuel afterwards. This isn't easy, but it is possible. Search the forums and you should find some support threads for women with PCOS.3 -
kristinstephenson86 wrote: »Tavis- I just learned what macros were the 2 days ago! So much to learn, and I plan on slowly figuring this out more. Hopefully it works for me. Mind/matter- Its a catch 22 because my pcos HATES carbs yet I feel like I'm starving without them. Thats why its hard to stay positive, because I really do feel like it is set up against me or for failure. That's why I am deciding to be active on the boards I need as much help as I can get. Right now, it really does feel impossible as I have tried this so many times. There was one time I was literally starving it felt like, and I was eating so so healthy, and I was still overweight! I want to figure out what I am doing wrong!
Lower carb doesn't have to be no carb though, does it?
It took me a long time to realise it, but the time will pass anyway, so even if you're only losing a pound every couple of weeks, after a year you'll be 26lbs down.
An idea might be to find some pals with similar calorie goals, and pals with PCOS to see what they eat and give you some ideas?6 -
I have tried no carb in the past and def not going to do that again. Just lower, but even the slight reduction makes me ravenous. I will def try some PCOS forums. A lot of people are uneducated on it and don't realize it does indeed make it 2x harder to loser weight. With PCOS it isn't as simple as calories unfortunately. I just don't know the balance. I have seen so many doctors for it, and I tell them I can't lose weight and they just say oh well. As long as you are healthy- and I get that. But I want to be comfortable in my body too, feel sexy, feel ok shopping for clothes! I'm still young, and my boyfriend is 6 years younger! I want to feel good about myself health wise AND physically. I may never get there; hard to come to terms with that.6
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First week or two is for learning. Review logs tp see where a litte cut back, not cut out, would make a difference. Plan at least a day ahead and prelog then adjust. Use a scale for everything to learn serving sizes. You can do this if you understand it is a change for life, not a quick fix. Patience and commitmemt for long term are tje secret sauce.4
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I have PCOS and have lost 90 pounds in a year without once considering carbs. Strictly calories in vs calories out. It works. It’s a slow process but it’s not impossible and PCOS isn’t an excuse to not lose weight. In fact it’s the best way to manage the symptoms of the condition.14
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Hey Kristin! Don't be so hard on yourself, if this were easy we wouldn't have to work for it. That fact that you're working for it speaks volumes. Im in my second week and still struggle mentally even though I had results my first week. My weakness is sweets, cookies to to be exact. I literally went from eating sugary cereals, cookies, donuts, drinking sugary tea and soda etc whenever I felt like it ....to consuming less than 120g of carbs/1330 calories most days- and no I don't feel starved. My first week I tossed all garbage sweets in the garbage and replaced them with healthier sweets (sugar free jello, berries, chocolate rice cakes etc). While Im able to do away with temptation at home I still have to go to work where there's always a spread of garbage sweets in the kitchen- especially now that it's the holidays. Im no pro and am learning just as you are but I'd say will power and keeping your goals in mind is key. Good luck, you got this
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Hey, have you ever tried paleo my mom got me into after have success with herself losing 60lbs. I started it with a bang! Losing 35lbs.
Right now I eat a ton of healthy food and even though I do that I feel full... I eat every 4 hours. They’re so low calorie foods I barley hit my calorie intake (1200-1500)
I wonder if you can get to a gym at lunch time it would be worth your while vs walking which will defiantly gone your legs.2 -
kristinstephenson86 wrote: »I have PCOS, and there is SO MUCH conflicting evidence about what works and what doesn't I am totally lost, and sometimes feel like I'm trying this all for naught. Any thoughts!!? Thank you all.
I thought the protocol by Melissa Ramos "Sexy Lady Balls" was very insightful regarding PCOS, hormonal, and generally ALL women's issues. She helped me a lot, and at a reasonable rate. Keep searching for answers!!0 -
(Can't edit my post on my device....) I'm also reading "Cooking For Hormone Balance" ATM, which could be beneficial as well.0
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I think you really need to stop the negative self talk. This is going to sound harsh but you have to (wo)man up and take responsibility. I have PCOS and it sucks but it's not an excuse. Being in a caloric deficit results in cravings and hunger, that is the body's design. (almost) everyone's body would like to add as much fat as it can and will fight you tooth and nail to hang on to that fat. You are not unique and your body can lose weight just fine.
PCOS is a challenge and yes maybe weight loss will be slower (it was for me) but with enough consistency and patience you can lose the extra chub. Your body will not defy the laws of thermodynamics I promise you.
If your mindset starting a diet is 'OMG I'm always so hungry when I eat less' then guess what? You will be SO hungry.
As far as carbs go, I've done just strict CICO without looking at macros, keto and low carb (under 150g) and I've lost on all three methods. Low carb makes me feel better so that's my preference. If you're truly worried about the carbs, get tested for insulin resistance. It's common with PCOS but not everyone has it. If you're not insulin resistant (and in certain cases even if you are) you don't need to be low carb.11 -
How much have you been exceeding your goal by? If you're set to lose 1 lb a week, you have a 500 calorie cushion between your goal and maintenance. That is, you wouldn't be in danger of gaining weight unless you were averaging more than 500 cals above your goal.0
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First of all, love who you ARE, inside, not the numbers reflected on a scale. Life is short and people who love you see you as more than a weight and size. (Something I didn’t learn into well into my 40’s). Self acceptance is a wonderful thing.
Second, be patient and kind to yourself. It takes time to unlearn bad habits and learn how to organize those daily calories into meals you can manage. I find focusing more on how I am doing a good thing for my body and being positive makes me more successful than fretting and focusing on my hunger near the end of the day and a stuck scale.
Water...lots of water...helps to feel full, too.
I find logging every single calorie and limiting the calories per meal helps me stay on track. Try and do some exercise everyday. Even if just 15 min dancing around the house. And definitely don’t feel defeated because only when you give up are you ever defeated.
You can do this! If we survived motherhood and teenage years, we can do anything! 😊
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@kristinstephenson86 are you power walking those 45-50 or strolling? Each time you feel to indulge when you have already set your meal plan drink water. You need to join a gym and interact with people that are apart of Zumba classes, spinning, strength and conditioning etc... “a drowning man will catch at a straw to prevent himself from drowning” with that said you must do the most go out of your comfort zone get back your sexy body10
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It is not failure it's a learning curve! You are logging (+ 1 point) presumably weighing food or at least more aware of calories and portion size (+ 1 point) and aware that you need to do something to help you get healthier ( + another point) ,. So you are now 3 points ahead of were you were last week, that's good progress. The rest is trial and error to find what works for you , keep moving forward one step at a time and don't give up just change what's not working X good luck x5
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What worries me is the negativity--I can't lose weight, I've got PICOS, I'm short,....you get the idea. Go back and read your posts. You're working against yourself. Many people aren't successful right off the bat. There's a lot of trail and error--and then you say "oh well", and try something else. Calorie counting works, if you do it properly. Are you weighing and measuring everything with a digital food scale? You have to find your sweet spot between calories and exercising. Exercising is not necessary for losing weight, but it will leave you with a better bod when the weight loss is done. Work on being positive. Take your measurements and keep a journal so you can see your progress. Keep going and never give up.6
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lynn_glenmont wrote: »How much have you been exceeding your goal by? If you're set to lose 1 lb a week, you have a 500 calorie cushion between your goal and maintenance. That is, you wouldn't be in danger of gaining weight unless you were averaging more than 500 cals above your goal.
I was anywhere between 500 or 1000 over that was with exercise. I have slowly been doing better though. I have been eating healthier foods and reducing my intake. I didn't log at all last week I just felt depressed. But I am back at it again. 0 -
MarvinsFitLife wrote: »@kristinstephenson86 are you power walking those 45-50 or strolling? Each time you feel to indulge when you have already set your meal plan drink water. You need to join a gym and interact with people that are apart of Zumba classes, spinning, strength and conditioning etc... “a drowning man will catch at a straw to prevent himself from drowning” with that said you must do the most go out of your comfort zone get back your sexy body
Thanks for asking. It has been slow since I first started walking a year ago. It's been hard for me, because I used to be an athlete But I would say its a moderate pace 3.0-3.5. I work a professional job, and I don't have time to change my clothes. So I don't go too crazy. But it usually is marked as 3.0-3.5 mph on my step counter. 2 -
kristinstephenson86 wrote: »lynn_glenmont wrote: »How much have you been exceeding your goal by? If you're set to lose 1 lb a week, you have a 500 calorie cushion between your goal and maintenance. That is, you wouldn't be in danger of gaining weight unless you were averaging more than 500 cals above your goal.
I was anywhere between 500 or 1000 over that was with exercise. I have slowly been doing better though. I have been eating healthier foods and reducing my intake. I didn't log at all last week I just felt depressed. But I am back at it again.
Are you getting treatment for the depression?0 -
You are not a failure. You have asked for advice, asked others what they have done that helped them. You are taking all this information in, and filtering it, so you can find what will work for you. It is tough being gentle on ourselves.
For quite awhile, I would say I was not on a low carb diet. Reason was I had no clue what that really meant. I knew that KETO was not going to be my thing after looking into it. But I average 55-60 net grams of carbs per day. I assumed (incorrectly) that was average. Even with being a diabetic for 18 years I still did not really get it. What I learned is anything under 150 grams of Carbs per day is considered low carb. You may find you can be in that neighborhood, but not be real low. (Very eye opening to read the average American eats 350-400 carbs per day).
I know you can do this, good luck.0 -
If you are hungry all the time try getting your carbs to 30-50% of calories and getting your protein up to about 1 gram per lb of lean body mass. Also, focus your diet on 80% whole foods like lean meats, veggies, fruits, potatoes, whole grains etc.2
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If you are hungry all the time try getting your carbs to 30-50% of calories and getting your protein up to about 1 gram per lb of lean body mass. Also, focus your diet on 80% whole foods like lean meats, veggies, fruits, potatoes, whole grains etc.
Thank you for the advice! I am trying that- it is a very little amount of food I'm allowed to eat since I have a desk jobmaureenkhilde wrote: »You are not a failure. You have asked for advice, asked others what they have done that helped them. You are taking all this information in, and filtering it, so you can find what will work for you. It is tough being gentle on ourselves.
For quite awhile, I would say I was not on a low carb diet. Reason was I had no clue what that really meant. I knew that KETO was not going to be my thing after looking into it. But I average 55-60 net grams of carbs per day. I assumed (incorrectly) that was average. Even with being a diabetic for 18 years I still did not really get it. What I learned is anything under 150 grams of Carbs per day is considered low carb. You may find you can be in that neighborhood, but not be real low. (Very eye opening to read the average American eats 350-400 carbs per day).
I know you can do this, good luck.
Thank you so much!!TavistockToad wrote: »kristinstephenson86 wrote: »lynn_glenmont wrote: »How much have you been exceeding your goal by? If you're set to lose 1 lb a week, you have a 500 calorie cushion between your goal and maintenance. That is, you wouldn't be in danger of gaining weight unless you were averaging more than 500 cals above your goal.
I was anywhere between 500 or 1000 over that was with exercise. I have slowly been doing better though. I have been eating healthier foods and reducing my intake. I didn't log at all last week I just felt depressed. But I am back at it again.
Are you getting treatment for the depression?
I have been in and out of therapy for years. I am not currently in treatment. Thank you all for your support. It seems impossible. I want to feel good again. I have always been "attractive" and treated as such. And now that I have gained weight I feel like I have lost some of my identity. I know it is shallow, but I basically feel like a piece of trash now. I know thats not ok! I am working on that, but I do want it to motivate me to lose.1
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