emotional aspect of all this

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  • shelbygeorge29
    shelbygeorge29 Posts: 263 Member
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    brenn24179 wrote: »
    I hate that commercial on tv when mother slides her daughter a chocolate bar under her door and says now things will be getting better, I must have taken that to heart somewhere down the line.

    I was thinking in that same vein with that commercial. Why are we teaching kids chocolate will soothe out the bumps in life?
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    odd ditty, thanks so much for taking the time to write all that. I am so sorry you have been thru so much, I have read where people that are molested almost always have a weight problem. Then you had to get that disease on top of that. I am grateful to never have had sexual things happen to me. I did have neglectful narcisstic parents and my adult children are the same so I am sure frustrations led me to overeat. Hope you are ok now and have got your weight back to normal. I can see when things happen to us it is like turning to food like drunks do to alcohol, very numbing and distracting. Hopefully we can find healthier ways to cope, working on this.
  • kiela64
    kiela64 Posts: 1,447 Member
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    Absolutely. I had a really amazingly emotionally good summer, and losing 45lbs was challenging but doable. My SO has been a fantastic emotional support and I was doing so so so well on all fronts.

    Now I've been experiencing more emotional upset being sidelined with a concussion (and recently officially a mild depressive episode...yay...) I've absolutely caved and used food as a crutch again. Thankfully I haven't regained too much yet, just 4lbs (and I've lost 1.5 again, it's been bouncing around all month here as I feel better and worse).

    Exercise improves everything - my compliance with my eating, my mood, my sleep. But getting there, caring, having the energy. It's hard. I'm not always up to it.

    I think also part of the process is forgiving yourself for using food as a crutch. If you know why, how it helps you, maybe you can figure out what to replace it with. Or if it's okay in some instances, but in a smaller portion, etc.
  • sarakenna12
    sarakenna12 Posts: 37 Member
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    This is a really powerful thread. Thank you everyone for sharing. It's helpful to see how sticky depression can be in relation to food and weight; how depression can eat at you while compelling you to overeat. I've felt out of control in so many aspects of my life... with food, alcohol, fitness, emotional stability... As I go through this journey I see that the things that feel out of control for me are interconnected, and that my emotional health is the common denominator. In order to work on balancing one thing, I must work on balancing them all.
  • Lolinloggen
    Lolinloggen Posts: 463 Member
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    I have just been through a stressful time at work and my coping mechanisms have changed But I admit to having felt the urge to eat eat eat to cope with the stress. I did not but it sure showed me the mechanism again.
    Thankfully I managed to get some other mechanisms in place over the last few years but I got to the point when that almost did not work anymore either.
    I got through (though still dealing with the fall out) and praise myself for doing so.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,900 Member
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    estherdragonbat wrote: »
    What's helped for me has been upping my exercise. I don't do high-intensity, but over the last two years I've gone from "25 minutes of walking daily, even if it's just a few circuits around the block and when weather doesn't permit, fitness glider in the basement" to "Shoot for 2 hours of walking; 90 minutes or more is good enough OR 75 minutes on the glider, plus strength training 5 days/week (dumbbells ranging from 8x2 to 30x2lbs depending on exercise)". And what I've found is:
    • When I exercise, I'm proportionally less hungry. In other words, I eat back 50-75% of my calories according to what MFP says I burn. So, if it tells me I burned 510 calories—pretty much par for one of my 2-hour walks now—I eat back 255 and I find that I'm not hungry on 1605 total calories. BUT if I don't exercise, I feel hungry on my base 1360.
    • The time I spend exercising is time not spent grazing, nibbling, etc. Basically cuts back on my boredom/mindless eating.
    • Exercise helps my moods, so less stress/emotional eating.

    Ya, exercise is crucial for my emotional state too. I'm sleep deprived today, and had to really force myself out there. I promised myself I could quit after 4 songs if I needed to but I was doing trail maintenance, got involved in a big fallen tree cleanup, and was out there for 65 minutes.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    Lolinloggen wrote: »
    I have just been through a stressful time at work and my coping mechanisms have changed But I admit to having felt the urge to eat eat eat to cope with the stress. I did not but it sure showed me the mechanism again.
    Thankfully I managed to get some other mechanisms in place over the last few years but I got to the point when that almost did not work anymore either.
    I got through (though still dealing with the fall out) and praise myself for doing so.

    that is great, keep telling myself I can be stressed or stressed and fat if I overeat.
  • Girlheidi
    Girlheidi Posts: 60 Member
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    kiela64 wrote: »
    Absolutely. I had a really amazingly emotionally good summer, and losing 45lbs was challenging but doable. My SO has been a fantastic emotional support and I was doing so so so well on all fronts.

    Now I've been experiencing more emotional upset being sidelined with a concussion (and recently officially a mild depressive episode...yay...) I've absolutely caved and used food as a crutch again. Thankfully I haven't regained too much yet, just 4lbs (and I've lost 1.5 again, it's been bouncing around all month here as I feel better and worse).

    Exercise improves everything - my compliance with my eating, my mood, my sleep. But getting there, caring, having the energy. It's hard. I'm not always up to it.

    I think also part of the process is forgiving yourself for using food as a crutch. If you know why, how it helps you, maybe you can figure out what to replace it with. Or if it's okay in some instances, but in a smaller portion, etc.

    One of the symptoms of concussion is depression, along with appetite and sleep. My son was badly affected during his exams - he's slim but he lost his appetite and wasn't sleeping and told me that he wasn't his usual happy self.....we saw the concussion specialist as soon as possible and I was told that this is very normal for concussions.......be kind to yourself - concussions are not fun.
  • kiela64
    kiela64 Posts: 1,447 Member
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    Girlheidi wrote: »
    kiela64 wrote: »
    Absolutely. I had a really amazingly emotionally good summer, and losing 45lbs was challenging but doable. My SO has been a fantastic emotional support and I was doing so so so well on all fronts.

    Now I've been experiencing more emotional upset being sidelined with a concussion (and recently officially a mild depressive episode...yay...) I've absolutely caved and used food as a crutch again. Thankfully I haven't regained too much yet, just 4lbs (and I've lost 1.5 again, it's been bouncing around all month here as I feel better and worse).

    Exercise improves everything - my compliance with my eating, my mood, my sleep. But getting there, caring, having the energy. It's hard. I'm not always up to it.

    I think also part of the process is forgiving yourself for using food as a crutch. If you know why, how it helps you, maybe you can figure out what to replace it with. Or if it's okay in some instances, but in a smaller portion, etc.

    One of the symptoms of concussion is depression, along with appetite and sleep. My son was badly affected during his exams - he's slim but he lost his appetite and wasn't sleeping and told me that he wasn't his usual happy self.....we saw the concussion specialist as soon as possible and I was told that this is very normal for concussions.......be kind to yourself - concussions are not fun.

    It's ridiculous how awful they can be. The first doctor I saw said I would be back to my normal self in 4 days. That was in September, and while I'm better than I was, I am Not Better yet. I have since seen some specialists that said it's normal & there's a wide variation. It sucks! I hope your son is doing better <3 I ended up having to take the semester off because I just could not do school and brain thinking. I'm working on getting back to my normal work schedule, and going back to school in January. I am TERRIFIED. I just feel dumb, exhausted, and sad.
  • kiela64
    kiela64 Posts: 1,447 Member
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    beaglady wrote: »
    kiela64 wrote: »
    Absolutely. I had a really amazingly emotionally good summer, and losing 45lbs was challenging but doable. My SO has been a fantastic emotional support and I was doing so so so well on all fronts.

    Now I've been experiencing more emotional upset being sidelined with a concussion (and recently officially a mild depressive episode...yay...) I've absolutely caved and used food as a crutch again. Thankfully I haven't regained too much yet, just 4lbs (and I've lost 1.5 again, it's been bouncing around all month here as I feel better and worse).

    Exercise improves everything - my compliance with my eating, my mood, my sleep. But getting there, caring, having the energy. It's hard. I'm not always up to it.

    I think also part of the process is forgiving yourself for using food as a crutch. If you know why, how it helps you, maybe you can figure out what to replace it with. Or if it's okay in some instances, but in a smaller portion, etc.

    Agreed. I lost 50+ pounds slowly over the course of a year and a half. Due to the stress and time constraints of helping care for my elderly father, I got stuck at the same weight around the end of March 2018, with 20 more pounds to go. It was too much to keep my head in the right place to lose, and still do what was needed for my dad, while working full time and helping husband who has his own serious health challenges.

    I decided mid-summer that my goal was to maintain, and that as long as I didn't gain, it was OK. Fall brought our wedding anniversary, hubs and my birthdays, then Thanksgiving. Plus we entered my dad into a hospice program at the end of October. At that point, I decided that I would still (somewhat haphazardly) log what I ate, but if I stress ate, then I just did. Dad passed on Thanksgiving, at which point I decided that I would keep on that path, with the deadline that after the eating occasions surrounding the funeral, I would be back to precise logging and keeping a deficit. Last Friday, he was buried, and afterward, we went out to a lengthy Chinese buffet lunch with cousins I seldom see. I ended up gaining a pound or two during those last few weeks.

    On Saturday, it was relatively easy to make the planned shift that it was time to keep a deficit again, and I've been successful since then. My point in posting this isn't to garner attention via 'poor me'. It's to mention that it has been helpful to me to recognize that it can be Ok to give yourself permission to maintain, rather than try (and fail) to lose during difficult emotional times. It was also helpful to recognize that I do use food as an emotional crutch, and to give myself permission to do that, with the understanding that the permission had an expiration date.

    Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you found a good way to navigate your emotions during this stressful time!
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    i love what you said, permission has to have an expiration date.

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