We broke up because...
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That baby wasn't mine, either!0
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She kidnapped a baby so she wouldn't gain weight being pregnant!0
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Of irreconcilable similarities...0
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He wanted to be me...like the chick in Single White Female0
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I caught her squating over another gym member she said she was spotting but not buying it!0
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During adverse situations he too often referred to his go-to phrase, “It is what it is” and inevitably it WAS what it WAS...0
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He was too philosophical0
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While he exceeded my expectations, I confirmed his trepidation...0
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We were having a deep discussion about our future and he just turned his back to me!0
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He already had a boyfriend and he couldn't let him go0
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In terms of toilet paper placement, she preferred “under” while I was team “over”...1
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He wasn't well versed in thermodynamic theory0
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He didn't like my pet pig0
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She left me behind in the Escape Room0
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He forget to check and make sure my parachute was working properly!0
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He threw in the towel0
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She never appreciated it when I showered her with compliments.0
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Compliments was the only kind of shower he did0
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When I heard him tell a friend on the phone and I would vote for Hillary again!0
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He left the icecream tub in the freezer... empty1
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