What holds people back from noticing/ complimenting?

In today's society of being politically correct, they are probably afraid to offend you by saying anything. That would imply they noticed you were overweight before

I think some people are afraid that if they say you look so much better now that they are telling you that you looked bad before. Even though you probably think you did too, they might be afraid to say something bad about you even though it was in the past. If that makes any sense.

Hey withchaco,

Perhaps some people feel that if they say how great you look or how great you are doing at losing weight, you may feel they are saying you looked bad before. Just a guess.

Congratulations on your success thus far. Keep going like you are and those abs will come.

tangdalun

First off, CONGRATS on your accomplishments! Secondly, sometimes I think people are scared to say anything so they don't offend you. I've lost 34 lbs and I haven't gotten any comments like that yet unless it's from my MIL or my husband who obviously both know that I;ve been trying to lose weight. I don't know what holds others back other than maybe they're scared to offend us? I don't know lol.

They might not want to offend. Or maybe they're not sure their perception is right, especially if they don't see you often. I know there have been a few times where I'll see someone who I *think* has lost weight, but I don't want to mention it because I'm not sure since it's been a while since I've seen them. In your case, it sounds like it's noticeable enough that they should be confident in their perceptions, but you never know.

Some people are afraid that they will offend you, and others are afraid you will say something like "I have lost because I now have X disease", and that leads to uncomfortable conversation. Last time I really went on a diet my family literally thought I had stopped eating (which is ironic because in reality I eat more than most men do). People are weird.

Just keep up the good work and know that you are doing a great job and you are losing! You have accomplished a great thing .

Same as everyone else: it's the PC-clause. You don't want to offend someone by saying "have you lost weight" since it means you know that they knew that they were fat and never said anything then so why say something now.
Coming from a fat person, I've noticed people I work with that have lost weight & I don't hold back - so far no one has said back to me "so what, you're saying I was fat before", they get excited about talking about losing the weight, especially since they know I've been there, too.

People that don't lose weight - whether they don't need to lose or don't want to lose - don't understand how that little compliment can egg a person on in the right direction. Ignore the Ignoramuses: you are doing AWESOME!!! Going from X's to M's is Fab-YOU-Loss!!!

well ... being bigger than my peers all my life, it's my experience that it's kind of like 'the elephant in the room' that nobody really talks about. of course, my family & long time friends have seen my weight go up & down so nobody says much any more when I lose cause I think they just expect it to be temporary (suppose I do, too)
I have ONE bff who is blunt about it (I love her to death) She'll compliment me when I lose and chide me when I gain. Other than that - if it's a 50 lb gain nobody said a word about it unless I bring it up.
There really IS no tactful way TO mention it. I guess losing is the same thing - unless it comes up in conversation, it's kind of like saying 'hey, you're not as FAT as you were' . People do lose weight when they're sick, but nobody wants to be the one to compliment them for that. Cut them some slack, I'm sure they notice and approve, they just don't know how to tactfully SAY that.
I will - GOOD JOB! you're awesome!

this is a rather tricky situation- I've been on both sides- the person who's noticed others who've lost weight ( sometimes a GREAT DEAL)

and now I'm the one who's lost a great deal.

I'm not sure how to give compliments, much less RECEIVE them.

I don't feel comfortable "judging" people by HOW THEY LOOK, so to vividly point out that I've noticed
IMPLIES that I had a less favorable opinion of them to start with.......

My worst "nightmare" has already happened to me just recently:

A lady I hadn't seen for a while said, "Wow, you've lost a LOT of weight...You look GREAT!"

I could have dealt w/ that OK, but she kept on going...... " I mean, WOW! I cannot believe HOW MUCH YOU'VE LOST...I can't get over it!"

By now, I'm feelin' the urge to deck her......as the thoughts run thru my head, " Just how FAT did she think I was to start with?"



So, I say all that to say that I have NO CLUE...
I'm hurt if someone doesn't SEEM to notice, or SEEMS to be indifferent if they did,
but I am also not completely comfortable IF they do say something...

Aside from jealousy/ their own insecurity, that is.

I've come from XXL to M, and the only people who have said anything are the ones who already know I've changed my lifestyle around. Everyone else either hasn't noticed, or... something's keeping them from commenting on it. They're still just as friendly though, so I don't think they're being insecure... Or maybe I just need to lose more :laugh:

I know I've gotten significantly thinner. I know I look much better. I just want to know why sometimes people don't notice/ say anything. Not just to me, but in general.

I echo a few other's sentiment.

When I gained weight in college then lost it, my *now* husband told his mom, "Wow, she's REALLY lost the weight." It kind of embarrassed me...even though I knew I looked terrible when I gained and looked much better at that time. I was still just sensitive that I had let it even get to that point.

So when I notice someone is losing, I do always comment and tell them that I'm proud of them and they look so much happier, etc. But I do watch my wording because if someone has just recently lost the weight they may be a little more sensitive at the time.