Would you ever consider dating a married man/woman?
julieweledniger
Posts: 19 Member
in Chit-Chat
What are your thoughts on this subject and does it make a difference if they’re separated from their spouse/partner?
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Replies
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interesting topic to say the least... will be nice to see the comments!2
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Nope. I don't like to share 😆
Separated depends on the situation and the person, but usually that person is in or will soon be in a *kitten* storm that I don't want to be a part of...2 -
Well considering the fact that married people who "date" have strongly sociopathic personality characteristics, and in some cases are outright sociopaths, the answer is obviously no. No one who values his or her own life would date such a personality type unless they were also of this personality type. In which case "a match made in hell" would be an apt description of such a union.3
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I would totally date a manbearpig tho... Just to see one lol0
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Dating a Married Woman right now. Actually, when I met her, she was going through a divorce and so was I. First date was very tentative. On the second date I asked her to marry me. 30 years later and I am still excited to go out with her. I know that, sometimes, people are going through trying moments in their lives and might not make the best partners, but sometimes you roll the dice and win.
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hey its a question i was born to answer-
but do you mean, would you "date" them if their spouse knew about it in some way, like if they were in an open relationship? if so, then no. i was friendly with a couple a few years ago who had an "arrangement" like that, and it was more hassle and heartache for both of them than you can imagine. and it ended in a divorce between them too. she still reaches out to me from time to time and says hi. her former husband is just an empty shell now.
or, do you mean, just date a "separated" person who is still technically "married", but otherwise has nothing to do with their spouse? that's more complicated. they can always patch things up. especially if there are children involved- the odds of them patching it up are a lot higher at that point i think. no matter what you or them want, you don't want to hurt the kids ever. they still got a chance in life.
*or* do you mean, yknow, literally be a side*ick for a married person? without their spouse knowing about it?
if so, yeah that's cool. it's probably the best option in the end.
the way i see it, if you're on the verge of something with a married person, if they've gone that far already, well its either gonna be you, or its gonna be someone else. so it might as well be you.10 -
Nope. If he's separated, he can hit me back up when he's divorced because I don't like sharing a man. Even if he's living apart from his wife, what's the hold up in actually getting divorced? I know divorces can be complicated and take a while but if he's just separated and not even in the process of finalizing the end, then ABSOLUTELY NOT.3
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No.I am married and would not date anyone but my spouse.
If we seperated/were divorcing I would not feel okay dating until we were actually divorced.
If I were single I would not get involved with someone who was married even if they were seperated or in an open relationship.2 -
In NC, you can't even file for divorce until you've been legally separated and living apart for a full year. So yes, I've dated a "married" man. And I'm also still legally married. I'm not going to put my life on hold for a year or more because of a stupid law.9
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If I was not already a married man, I don't think so... I'd probably maintain a plutonic friendship tho until something more lucrative came along lol0
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Dating, as in, actually going out in public regularly? Or just *kitten* ing them?
Dating: separated, yes. Any other level of connection, no.
*kitten* ing: open relationship, yes. Sneaking around, no.0 -
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After the ex demanded an open relationship and admitted she'd been sleeping around our whole marriage.........
That would be a hell no.5 -
i would say probably not. let me know when the divorce is final. too much possibility for drama otherwise. i prefer no drama in my life0
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_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ wrote: »In NC, you can't even file for divorce until you've been legally separated and living apart for a full year. So yes, I've dated a "married" man. And I'm also still legally married. I'm not going to put my life on hold for a year or more because of a stupid law.
Same law here. Legally separated is viewed as Marriage Over, just without the final rubber stamp. I've never known anyone to reconcile following a legal separation as things are usually long dead before that point.
I married young and separated 2.5 years later. My ex wasn't filing for divorce and I couldn't afford to for a while. Then he kept switching lawyers and the whole thing had to restart three times. It took us 3.5 years to finally get divorced, longer than the actual marriage. I wasn't going to put my life on hold for that long in my 20s so, yes, I dated while "married".0 -
No. I mean I might casually date them but I wouldn't stop seeing other people and get all attached. Sorry but he's technically married... wife always comes first. call me when you're divorced.0
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CookingWithCumin wrote: »Dating, as in, actually going out in public regularly? Or just *kitten* ing them?
Dating: separated, yes. Any other level of connection, no.
*kitten* ing: open relationship, yes. Sneaking around, no.
So if their Facebook relationship status is “It’s complicated”, it’s a hard no from you?
soooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard.1 -
I am banging your spouse. Right. Now.
But we’re SO not gonna date.5 -
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_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ wrote: »In NC, you can't even file for divorce until you've been legally separated and living apart for a full year. So yes, I've dated a "married" man. And I'm also still legally married. I'm not going to put my life on hold for a year or more because of a stupid law.
Same law here. Legally separated is viewed as Marriage Over, just without the final rubber stamp. I've never known anyone to reconcile following a legal separation as things are usually long dead before that point.
I married young and separated 2.5 years later. My ex wasn't filing for divorce and I couldn't afford to for a while. Then he kept switching lawyers and the whole thing had to restart three times. It took us 3.5 years to finally get divorced, longer than the actual marriage. I wasn't going to put my life on hold for that long in my 20s so, yes, I dated while "married".
Exactly. My separation agreement even states: "The parties shall hereafter live as though they had never been married to one another." It's not uncommon here for people to stay legally married for years after a separation, assuming neither party is ready to marry someone else. Divorce can be expensive, and there are perks to staying married (health insurance, tax returns, etc). If it's an amicable separation, there's not a big need to rush the legal proceedings. I can guarantee my ex won't initiate proceedings because he doesn't want to pay for it, so I'll get around to it when I get around to it.0 -
Hell no. Separated is still married. Until the divorce is final, NO.2
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CookingWithCumin wrote: »Dating, as in, actually going out in public regularly? Or just *kitten* ing them?
Dating: separated, yes. Any other level of connection, no.
*kitten* ing: open relationship, yes. Sneaking around, no.
So if their Facebook relationship status is “It’s complicated”, it’s a hard no from you?
They would have to have that stamped on their forehead for me to see it. I don't Facebook.1 -
Nah. Even if they are separated, there's too much emotional uncertainty and baggage/baby mama drama.
I have no interest in being a side piece to someone so physical relations is a no.5 -
um NO, not only NO, but heck NO.4
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Would I get benefits from this arrangement?2
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mustacheU2Lift wrote: »Would I get benefits from this arrangement?
Like healthcare and a nice 401k package?
Lemme get back with you after I speak with HR.1 -
if they are officially separated / already going through motions of getting a divorce / legal separation , then maybe if the attraction or bond is very strong .
But generally , I wouldn't go there.
Too complicated .2 -
Are they actually separated or did he just say "It's like living with a roommate" ?
3
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