Need advice from successful maintainers :) please
CaliMomTeach
Posts: 745 Member
Hi. I am a 5'6, 48 yo old female who went from 193 pounds to about 137 pounds, July 2016 to maybe April 2017. After that, I went up and down from 135 (spring 2018) low to 151 (January 2018). I stopped weighing my food and logging in Fall 2018 (busy teaching new grade level, tired of obsessing over food, etc...) and finally got on the scale last Monday and I was up to almost 162! That is a weight gain of 27 pounds from my lowest point. At this rate, I would gain it all back. So, I started tracking, weighing again on Monday, and I am down to 155.4 (lots of water weight) and am currently eating 1200 calories or less. I haven't gone back to the gym yet with the excuse of I am too big for my old workout clothes and don't want to buy more, but I have a elliptical in my room that I have not touched. I don't want to feel like I have to obsess over what I eat for the rest of my life, but I am thinking that maybe I do. It was nice eating what I wanted again, ordering whatever sounded good on the menu, and not worrying about calories when eating dinner at someone else's house. But feeling the fat grow on my stomach, not feeling as energetic, and realizing that all of the nice clothes I bought for myself were now too small felt terrible. I have no doubt that I can get down to a weight I am happy with (my goal is 140-135 was too thin for me). What I am worried about is STAYING there. Please let me know your strategies and advice. Thanks!
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Replies
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Also, please explain to me why losing weight is such much easier than staying there?5
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Is 1200 cals really necessary to lose weight?9
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TavistockToad wrote: »Is 1200 cals really necessary to lose weight?
For me, right now in the beginning it is. I should have said that I upped my calories to 1300, 1400, and 1500 as time went on, and ate back about 75% of my exercise calories. I think MFP started me at 1400 something when I weight 193 and then dropped me to 1200. I need the motivation of a quicker drop right now to stick to it. When I get to 145, I will increase it a little. Do you think I will have more success in the long run by starting with a slower rate of loss?2 -
CaliMomTeach wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »Is 1200 cals really necessary to lose weight?
For me, right now in the beginning it is. I should have said that I upped my calories to 1300, 1400, and 1500 as time went on, and ate back about 75% of my exercise calories. I think MFP started me at 1400 something when I weight 193 and then dropped me to 1200. I need the motivation of a quicker drop right now to stick to it. When I get to 145, I will increase it a little. Do you think I will have more success in the long run by starting with a slower rate of loss?
Well the problem seems to be that you can't find a sustainable way of eating that you can do in a deficit and then maintenance?
Maybe a smaller deficit would help you with this?18 -
CaliMomTeach wrote: »Also, please explain to me why losing weight is such much easier than staying there?
You didn't just stop weighing your food. You stopped weighing yourself. That's the issue. I'm guessing you also stopped thinking about how your clothes fit. Or you wear/switched to mostly stretchy types of clothes?
Pay attention. That's the key to maintenance. Don't ignore your weight and justify what changes you do notice. Doing anything hard is, first and foremost, about training yourself to stop tolerating your own phony baloney excuses.
You have to keep weighing yourself. When you see you're packing it back on, you pay closer attention to diet.
Losing is easier because weighing yourself if rewarding. When you see the number on the scale go down, you get a shot of dopamine. It's hard to weigh yourself regularly during maintenance because there's no reward. No payoff. Do it anyway. Make it part of your life. If you are gaining, you'll know. You'll know you are letting it happen. Even if that doesn't keep it from happening, you'll be seeing HOW it happens and you'll be better able to prevent it in the future.
Pay attention, see things not how you want them to be but AS THEY ARE, know yourself. This is how you grow in any way.44 -
CaliMomTeach wrote: »Also, please explain to me why losing weight is such much easier than staying there?
You didn't just stop weighing your food. You stopped weighing yourself. That's the issue. I'm guessing you also stopped thinking about how your clothes fit. Or you wear/switched to mostly stretchy types of clothes?
Pay attention. That's the key to maintenance. Don't ignore your weight and justify what changes you do notice. Doing anything hard is, first and foremost, about training yourself to stop tolerating your own phony baloney excuses.
You have to keep weighing yourself. When you see you're packing it back on, you pay closer attention to diet.
Losing is easier because weighing yourself if rewarding. When you see the number on the scale go down, you get a shot of dopamine. It's hard to weigh yourself regularly during maintenance because there's no reward. No payoff. Do it anyway. Make it part of your life. If you are gaining, you'll know. You'll know you are letting it happen. Even if that doesn't keep it from happening, you'll be seeing HOW it happens and you'll be better able to prevent it in the future.
Pay attention, see things not how you want them to be but AS THEY ARE, know yourself. This is how you grow in any way.
Thanks! Yes, I stopped weighing myself. I stopped paying attention to what I was doing to my body. Yes, I thought, i just won't wear these pants right now. Great advice, thank you.9 -
You don't have to obsess about every calorie forever, but yes, you do have to pay attention to your weight forever. There will NEVER be a time when you can eat just anything you want and not gain weight. The trick to maintaining is figuring out how much attention you do need to pay. For example, many maintainers weigh once a week, or once a month, and take action whenever they exceed the top range of their maintenance weight.
Speaking for myself, I intend to log forever. But that doesn't mean I don't ever eat out or enjoy a meal at a friend's house. I just plan my other meals and activities to allow those things to fit into my goals.
Losing is easier than maintaining for a couple of reasons - first of all, maintaining without weighing or logging is bound to be more difficult than losing while weighing and logging, because in the first case you are trying to do something without the proper tools and information. That's bound to be harder. But it's also easy to lose on 1200 calories because 1200 is hardly any food - you eat the bare minimum food, you tough it out, done. There are no choices involved. To maintain, you have to look at all the available foods and make good choices. And choices are hard.19 -
I don't weigh my food but I do weigh myself.
If my trend weight starts to creep up I make small adjustments, if my weight reaches my intervention weight I intervene. I think it's a huge mistake not to weigh yourself regularly, doesn't have to frequently (that's very personal) but it really shouldn't be possible to gain 20lbs and be surprised.
If you have a serious aversion to the bathrooms scales then maybe some unforgiving clothes or tracking measurements instead?
I'm still calorie aware but without calorie counting. Sorry you find maintenance harder than losing weight - I'm the complete opposite. Losing weight is hateful for me and maintaining with some vigilance is my normal mode and has been the last four decades. Just a shame that for two decades I maintained but at an overweight level.
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There has to be some accountability and yes, it's for life.
If you don't want to log food, then at least weigh your body. If you don't want to weigh your body at least listen to those tight pants.
Denial isn't constructive, since you've learned your body counts the calories whether you do or not.
I'm eleven years into Maintenance (lost 70+ pounds on this site) and I have to do something to keep track. I choose to log food and weigh myself. When I don't, I tend to stop doing the right things.
Back at it! Logging food isn't an obsession in my opinion. It lets me eat enough food but not too much. 1200 is really low, by the way. I'd set it at 1500 PLUS exercise calories. No reason to suffer.
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I am over 60 yrs and finding exercise VERY difficult. Also I am only 5 ft so I have to maintain at 1200 calories. It is not too bad at home but we like to go out to eat. Ideas on what to eat at a restaurant? I have lost and gained the same 70 lbs at least 4 times!6
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Imho... maintaining in as high of an energy flux as you can is the best idea. We humans are eating machines. Eat and breed. That's what we do best. Regaining some weight is not always the worst. I am doing it. Calling it a "bulk" , but it is really just some tightly controlled weight restoration. Best of luck.1
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Maintaining is hard Been in maintenance for 15 months now and I continue loggin Not as precise as I did when I was on my journey down but I still log. I know that it helps me to balance better.
I weigh weekly and when I am up toward the high end of my maintenance weight Simply tighten my logging and as a result come down.
When I went into maintenance my main change was to eat more during the weekend but not during the week That seems to work for me.8 -
erbfrench62 wrote: »I am over 60 yrs and finding exercise VERY difficult. Also I am only 5 ft so I have to maintain at 1200 calories. It is not too bad at home but we like to go out to eat. Ideas on what to eat at a restaurant? I have lost and gained the same 70 lbs at least 4 times!
For health and for your own sanity finding some exercise that works for you is a good idea. Even if it's only walking, or a low impact video for ten minutes, a couple of hundred calories makes a big difference.
My main solution to going out was to do it less often to more expensive places with better quality food. I can eat fried catfish for a billion calories, or grilled better quality fish for very few. Most American style chain restaurants offer lower calorie choices but they are not very exciting compared to the calorie bombs at the same restaurants.
When I do have to go to a chain or another place with fattening food, I eat half the amount, pack up the rest, and my husband eats it later (because generally my goals mean I don't need to eat the second half of the calorie dense food.)9 -
Such great advice from you all. Thank you so much.5
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You got some great advice here @CaliMomTeach. I’ll add one more thing, the podcast Half Size Me is focused on maintenance. The host, Heather, interviews someone each week about their story, I’ve found so many helpful nuggets and inspiration from her guests.9
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I just want to offer you some encouragement. You can do this. It is so tempting to turn a blind eye to negative changes, but we must be vigilant and force ourselves to stay on top of things. Otherwise we end up back where we started or even in worse shape. I weigh myself every morning. If I've been making bad choices, I am forced to face the reality of that and can course correct before things get totally out of hand Wishing you all the best. 7
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I've been maintaining for 3 years now ... here's what I do:
> Never stopped using the food scale/tracking calories.
> Never stopped working out regularly.
> Never cut out foods I like, and if I want it I'll make it fit in my calories.
> Indulge occasionally (gatherings, holiday, special weekend thing, etc)
> Weigh myself often and get my sh-- together if it goes up.
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Actually...... I forgot a BIG one imho.... stay part of a community that shares your goals. It might be a local TOPS, a few close friends, or the forums we use here.
*edit* I would not call myself successful yet... ask me again in 10 years!8 -
You guys gave me great feedback. I really appreciate it!7
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I've been maintaining for 3 years. I weigh and track my food, exercise 5-6 days a week. I don't weigh myself though. In fact, I recently threw away my scale.
Since I know my maintenance calorie range for my activity level, I just eat at that level pretty consistently.
Good luck!2 -
So true!cmriverside wrote: »Denial isn't constructive, since you've learned your body counts the calories whether you do or not.
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I went through something similar. I got down to 143 then I went in for a tummy tuck expecting 3 - 5 pounds of skin removed. After surgery I was so swollen for so long I wasn't sure how much I weighed. A year later I was at 151 pounds! I kept logging my food etc so couldn't understand why I was gaining. Finally someone on here recommended a book called the Beck Diet Solution. I read it and realized I too was in denial and had been snacking mindlessly. I had been tasting here and there and a bite or handful of snacks here and there that didn't get logged. It all adds up. I just plain got lazy. I've learned so much and now am down 4 of the 8 pounds I gained. I know logging and counting will be lifelong habits for me.
You can get back down to where you were. You've done it before so you can do it again. As for maintenance tips I would highly suggest that book, it was very constructive for me.7 -
I've more or less maintained going on 6 years. I personally don't log and haven't done so for maintenance. I don't obsess about food, but I remain mindful of my nutrition, portions, etc. When I'm out to eat I don't always get whatever sounds the best to me...sometimes I do, sometimes I don't...it really just depends on where I'm at in regards to my nutrition for the day, week, etc.
Example...on Saturday I took my boys to the basket ball court at a park near us...afterwards I took them out for lunch as my wife wanted us out of the house while she cleaned to get ready for company later that evening. We went to Jason's Deli where I ended up getting a soup and salad combo which was definitely not my first choice, but I knew I would be indulging with a very high calorie meal later that evening...no need to double up. Conversely on Monday I took my boys to Flix Brewhouse for a movie...it was a 12:30 showing so perfect for getting lunch there too. I ordered a personal 10' sausage, pepperoni, mushroom pizza and ate the whole thing...I also had skipped breakfast early that morning in anticipation of the movie lunch.
For the most part I eat pretty healthy...I think good nutrition is important overall, not just to weight management. I have my indulgences, but I'm pretty mindful of my overall nutrition. I also continue to exercise regularly, usually 5-6 days per week, but at least 3. I weigh myself a couple times per week so I can easily catch any weight creeping up and just nip it right there while it's easy. I do gain around 8-10 Lbs every winter as my activity level dips a bit but that 10 Lbs is my top end intervention point.10 -
Maybe cut down on the eating out - that'll cut out a huge amount of calories without paying any attention or counting calories. It would also save time and money (even short and 'cheap' fast food trips add up to quite a bit in time and cost versus batch cooking simple food).7
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And weighing daily and watching the trendline (look at the trend in moving average and not that single number) - will alert you if weight starts creeping up. Then you know you need to tighten up your eating.2
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CaliMomTeach wrote: »Also, please explain to me why losing weight is such much easier than staying there?
In my experience it's because in the weight loss phase you're motivated by the moving scale, being able to shop/fit into smaller clothes, getting compliments about your losses etc. You have a short term goal and can see tangible results. Maintenance on the other hand is for the rest of your life-20, 30, 40+ years. The compliments stop, the scale evens out, there's no positive feedback-just day in and day out of the same. In other words, maintenance is boring. Boredom leads to loss of adherence and that leads to regains. And then the cycle starts over again (and again and again....).
I come from a family of yo-yo dieters/re-gainers. When I decided to lose weight I knew I had to do something different. I decided that no matter what, I'd maintain my losses and not get sucked into the vicious cycle. Almost 6 years into maintenance now, I've figured out that for me I need something to focus on, to prevent boredom. I'm really interested in nutrition and how it may relate to health, so I've experimented with various ways of eating. That's what keeps my head in the game. For others it helps to work towards specific fitness goals etc.13 -
I still weigh and log my food but I am not longer OCD about it.
I weigh myself almost daily, and I am OCD about it!
I don't log on vacation or while eating out or at friends' house, but I eat with moderation and I keep an eye on portion control
I don't "let myself go" because I don't believe in that. I use what I learned while loosing and I keep using it in maintenance.
I keep exercising because I like it, not because I have too, and because is good for my body, bones, joints and emotional well being.
I don't use food as a solution or excuse to my problems, and I don't eat out of boredom (probably because I am, never bored
On maintenance for 9 years.
Good luck, be positive and believe that you can do it.12 -
Just remember that unless you make changes to your habits or lifestyle you will just keep gaining the weight back.
When I started to lose weight I cut a lot of things out of my diet that just weren't worth it to me. And then when I got to where I wanted to be I kept them out of my diet, with small exceptions. Same with exercise, I had to make that part of my daily routine, not only go when I wanted to lose weight. I also made sure I weighed myself semi regularly, not every day like I did before but maybe once a week to keep an eye on things. Then I told myself if I got over a certain weight I would start counting again and be more mindful. Well, after a year of maintaining, the weight crept back on, so now I'm back here for a while. But it was only 5-6 lbs so it's not a huge diet, just a way to keep myself in check. And had I not kept exercising and maintaining some good habits I'd have been back a lot sooner.
So maintaining doesn't only mean maintaining the weight you are at, it also means maintaining certain habits and a certain lifestyle. You don't need to obsess about your weight forever, but you do want to develop some habits that you can try to keep forever. Just weighing myself was easy to do and really helped keep me on the right track.10 -
In maintenance almost 6 years.
I enjoy being slim and active so do what it takes to stay that way and that involves:-
Weighing daily/use trending app and have a weight range +/-5lbs
Mentally keeping a note of my daily calories - always am mindful of how much I'm eating (only log my meals on this app now again).
Exercise at least 5 days a week for up to 45 mins and am generally active when not at my desk.
I won't eat something for the sake of it, it has to be amazing or else its not worth the calories - but that mostly applies to cakes/desserts!
The majority of my food is home made, prefer it that way and it feels an easy way to keep the calories in check.
If we have takeout I share with OH to halve the calories.
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You have received a lot of good advice. I've only been in maintenance a few months. Full disclosure: I lost weight once before and gained it all back. How is this time different?
I realized something... Let's say you take medication for a condition like high blood pressure. Once the medication gets the BP under control, you wouldn't throw out the meds and declare victory, would you? Of course not - you know the condition would return. I look at weight management the same way. Now that I've lost the weight, I can't abandon the habits that brought me to this point. I still weigh my food, log my calories, and exercise. The only difference between now and weight loss is a few hundred calories a day. I use the trending app Happy Scale to monitor my weight. Permanent results require permanent changes. Just make weight management habits something as normal as brushing your teeth or doing your laundry - it's just part of your day.11
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