Did he do his "time"?

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spicy618
spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hi Guys and Gals!

I need some anonymous opinions.

My BFF met a guy online and they have really hit it off; on the phone. They speak and text throughout the day, also in the evenings before going to sleep since the day they exchanged numbers. He lives in another state and before meeting her,because of his business, was planning on moving to her state. She says they have alot in common, close in age, similar goals. etc. From what she tells me she is really, really liking this man.



They are meeting for the first time next week, after 2 months of phone talk and phone sex, they feel love for eachother already.lol.

Now here is where I need your opinions.

She has a "No sex for X amount of time" rule.

DOes the time on the phone count towards his "time" or does it begin after the first meet? He's only coming in for a weekend. She says it does I say it doesn't. :laugh:


Discuss :flowerforyou:


Thank you for taking the time to read and respond.
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Replies

  • lind3400
    lind3400 Posts: 557 Member
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    I say it does....she has still talked and got to know him for that amount of time, she just has not physically been with him.....
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I think it probably doesn't matter. They'll end up sleeping together anyway.
  • sweetheart03622
    sweetheart03622 Posts: 928 Member
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    Why does it matter to you? If she wants to have sex with him, she can have sex with him. Sounds more to me like you're not approving of the way she met him and therefore you don't want them to be intimate.

    That being said, I know how you feel. My best friend met a guy this way too. Truthfully, all of the talking/texting required them to get to know each other very well very quickly and they've been together for 7 years now and neither could be happier.
  • mikeyml
    mikeyml Posts: 568 Member
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    Is the "No sex for X amount of time" rule there just for an arbitrary reason or is it there with the intent of getting to know someone better. If it's to get to know someone and over the past 2 months they have, in fact, gotten to know each other then he has put in his time. If it's just an arbitrary time line to "make him want it more" then no.
  • haeden
    haeden Posts: 183 Member
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    I think that you learn a LOT from someone when u are around them. My fiance and i were apart for about 2-3 months before we he came back home and even though we talked all day long and text all day long and i knew him very well i feel as if i learned the most when we spent the time together. People can be anyone they want to be through texting and they can talk themselves up all day but you know who the true person is when you are face to face!
  • reese66
    reese66 Posts: 2,920 Member
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    Personally I don't think it does... people can be completely different in person than they are on line and on the phone.
  • Gigi_licious
    Gigi_licious Posts: 1,185 Member
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    It's her decision. If she wants to, I say do it to it. If not, don't. That's between her and him. Not to be decided by a jury.
  • LeeKetty1176
    LeeKetty1176 Posts: 881 Member
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    nah she should see what happens............ she is in control ............. if there is that sexual "spark" in real life......... and they are both adults then what the heck !
  • sweetchick06
    sweetchick06 Posts: 30 Member
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    I would say that he did “half his time”. Getting to know someone on the internet/phone is completely different then meeting someone in person. I would suggest to the friend that they use this first weekend as more opportunity to get to know each other without complicating things with sex.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
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    Well this is her arbitrary rule, so she can come up with her own arbitrary special case to handle this. :laugh:
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    My two cents: talking online, on the phone, etc. and building that strong of a relationship before actually meeting in person is so dangerous (to your wee lil' emotions). This is why I meet anyone i'm interested within a week or two... expectations get so built up and then you realize he has horrid halitosis, a tiny little friend, and he keeps your change. :tongue:
  • ItsMeTime
    ItsMeTime Posts: 44
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    well they've already had phone sex, so in some ways they have already been together- definitely been intimate just not physical. I think the "no sex for X amount of time" ship has sailed.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Well this is her arbitrary rule, so she can come up with her own arbitrary special case to handle this. :laugh:

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
  • jlewis2896
    jlewis2896 Posts: 763 Member
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    It counts if when he meets her, who he is in 'real' life is the same as who he was before. They have talked on the phone, that is a plus.

    I just was at my best friend's wedding a couple weeks ago, and they met online. I was skeptical (okay, more like, I was convinced he was a cerial killer or something) and she falls in love waaaay too fast, but they ended up being the perfect match.

    Having an 'x amount of time' rule seems kind of silly to me. It's different in every situation. Unless that 'x amount of time' is like, a week. Haha!!

    Good luck to your friend. If their relationship is anything like my friend's, you better start working on your Matron Of Honor stuff!! :)
  • megz4987
    megz4987 Posts: 1,008 Member
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    It's her decision. If she wants to, I say do it to it. If not, don't. That's between her and him. Not to be decided by a jury.

    ^ THIS
  • cawood2
    cawood2 Posts: 177 Member
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    as much 'chemistry' as you can have talking on the phone, sometimes things are different in person. I've had great chemistry with guys before meeting (though generally not that long) and then something about them isn't right when we met. Just no click in person. If the spark is there, it's there. I'm more about whether the feeling is right rather than some randomly chosen time. I knew one person who figured that if you met someone on a cruise, that time counted for 3 or 5 times the amount of "regular dating time", but we won't get into the weird physics involved in justifying jumping a virtual stranger.
  • fatgirlslove
    fatgirlslove Posts: 614 Member
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    nope...he didn't do enough "time" until she has a ring on her finger lol
  • ohwhataday
    ohwhataday Posts: 1,398 Member
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    Yes to sex! Always yes to sex!

    almost always.
  • Miss_Chievous_wechange
    Miss_Chievous_wechange Posts: 1,230 Member
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    Sounds like a f*cked up rule to me ~ just sayin'
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
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    My two cents: talking online, on the phone, etc. and building that strong of a relationship before actually meeting in person is so dangerous (to your wee lil' emotions). This is why I meet anyone i'm interested within a week or two... expectations get so built up and then you realize he has horrid halitosis, a tiny little friend, and he keeps your change. :tongue:


    LMAO!
    You poor thing. However, if you would have spoken to him on the phone for two months, you would have known he wasn't a good, uh, tipper. :laugh:

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