What do you say when someone tells you that you are pregnant
12Sarah2015
Posts: 1,117 Member
And you aren't! I'm just an apple shape, needing to lose weight
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Replies
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Nothing, I was also asked how many months was I! I'm a guy though and it was obviously a pun on my belly 😂. I didn't take offense mainly as abdominal fat is whatever to me, I don't care.3
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Ask them when they tested your blood and/or pee? Then tell them not to be so bloody rude and assuming.
Sorry, but I used to get this a lot and hubby and I are unable to have children, so I tend to get very angry at people for it these days. But then we have been married 24 years this year and it gets very old very fast and also heart breaking having to explain all the time.14 -
Once I lost weight no one thought that again.
Well, that and I'm in my sixties now.
I only had one person ever say that to me, and it was an older woman. I just blew it off.
I have on the other hand asked someone if they're pregnant when they weren't. That's the last time I ever did THAT. Oh, the horror and the hurt feelz. It was pretty over-the-top (according to me
) 2 -
"No, I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat."
^ This is my standard reply, and it usually embarrasses the heck out of people for asking.
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My wife has gotten this from time to time. She doesn't say anything, she just comes home and talks to me about it and I reassure her that she is beautiful and the person who said it is dumb.17
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That's happened to me before. She was pregnant herself so I feel like she was just trying to find people with similarities. We seem to see things we want to. She said "oh, you're pregnant too?" And I said "haha maybe" It honestly didnt bother me. She wasn't trying to be mean or anything. I have a belly, I know that and that's OK. I've accepted my body, know where I want to go, and am loving it as I work my way there. It housed two beautiful children. Now, if she had been saying it maliciously, I may have felt differently.5
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My grandmother asks me this quite often. One time I was feeling really bad about myself and she asked. And my response was, "no Grandma. I'm just fat" she thankfully has not asked since.2
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Say in an extremely enthusiastic tone “Thank you so much for asking! Let me show you the ultrasound picture!” Then show them this...
Hopefully they get the message and don’t ask again! 13 -
monkeefan1974 wrote: »Say in an extremely enthusiastic tone “Thank you so much for asking! Let me show you the ultrasound picture!” Then show them this...
Hopefully they get the message and don’t ask again!
😂😂😂2 -
Well, I have lost a small person!0
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People who outright ask this question, especially to a complete stranger, are idiots. Revel in that fact and make them feel as awkward as possible when responding.5
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It happened. Right before a holiday meal as I walked in the house. From one of my dh's family who patted my stomach while saying it. I had thought I looked okay that day.
I just said I wasn't pregnant and she apologized. We were both embarrased and awkward. I felt like leaving and crying the rest of the day but did not. I ate much less that day and talked much less.
I tried to be understanding. My dd was young so people probably expected us to have another child soon. I do carry my weight like a pregnant woman. A lot of people are overweight and that is just how my body gets. I get to have thinner legs, hips and arms. She wasn't trying to be mean or hurt me. She just made a mistake. I can understand but it still hurt for quite awhile.
I think I eventually just embraced it a bit and got some maternity pants which fit my body type great and looked better than regular clothes that sagged everywhere but the waist. I stopped wearing so much black to try to look thinner and got colorful clothes I liked. In a way maybe it was freeing me from being so self concious or caring what others thought of my body shape.
Still pursued losing weight for my health.
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OP, I’m so sorry you had to experience that. I unfortunately made that mistake only once in my life when I was a young mother myself. It was someone who had been fairly along in their pregnancy and had lost the baby, but still had the extra weight. I now never comment unless a head is coming out.
It’s usually mortifying for both parties and I bet most people never make that mistake again. It just sucks that you were their one mistake. 2 -
I’d be more concerned about their feelings and making them feel embarrassed or bad so I’d just go along with it.
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I'm so sorry you had to go through that! @12Sarah2015 It's happened to me too, one time the person was even so bold as to put their hand on my belly & what I've done is say facetiously, "I'm just fat with the fruits of my husband's labor, it's the great life we live!" And to the one that patted my belly, "You just patted bloat, I just ate a donut!" 😁 We're here for you if you need more support girl! Don't let these crazies get you down!1
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »"No, I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat."
^ This is my standard reply, and it usually embarrasses the heck out of people for asking.
Yes! Lol that my reply too!2 -
"when are you due?' is what I asked and the answer "I'm not pregnant but I'm fat and look pregnant - don't feel bad everyone says that" I will never ask that question again. 1
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PRAISE THE LORD, another immaculate conception!3
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Reminds me of the time I actually was pregnant, right around that in-between time at 5 mo. I had a male colleague wish me congratulations, but then added, “I was so glad to hear you were pregnant, I thought you had just let yourself go.” Remains to this day one of the strangest comments I’ve ever received. Anyway, OP, I hope you don’t let that discourage you!!1
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This was one of the things that hurt me the most, to be honest. All throughout my weight loss phase, people were constantly asking me when my baby was due. I was trying so hard to lose weight and get in shape and it was such a blow when people said this. Friends gossiped about it behind my back. The worst was after having family pictures taken, and a family member immediately messaged me asking when I was due. I was so happy with how those pictures came out and it made me feel so bad. My baby was 5 months old. I wasn't pregnant.
I have diastasis recti, so even at a normal weight I have to be careful with my posture. I also have fibroids and cysts, so the bloating from that makes it even worse. I once had an Ikea saleswoman ask my 9 year old daughter if I was having a girl or boy baby. My daughter told her that her dad had a vasectomy and we weren't having anymore children 😂 The saleswoman couldn't run away fast enough.
Unless you see a baby physically crowning, please don't comment on a woman's appearance or assume she's pregnant.7 -
One of my colleagues had the contrary situation. She was pregnant and nobody noticed... and suddenly we learnt she was on maternity leave.
She hadn't told anyone about her pregnancy because she had had various miscarriages, and assumed nobody commented just in case she miscarried again and the situation got awkward. The truth is she was a big lady and all of us thought she was putting on more weight. Thankfully no one commented on that either, or offered any diet tips.1 -
Reminds me of the time I actually was pregnant, right around that in-between time at 5 mo. I had a male colleague wish me congratulations, but then added, “I was so glad to hear you were pregnant, I thought you had just let yourself go.” Remains to this day one of the strangest comments I’ve ever received. Anyway, OP, I hope you don’t let that discourage you!!
The stuff people say! When I was pregnant, one of our neighbors asked me if it was a planned pregnancy and then went on to say that "everybody" assumed we didn't like children because we had multiple dogs.
OP, I've had that kind of comment and it sucks. I usually tell the person, with a straight face, that I'm not pregnant and then I hold eye contact. I used to get flustered about it when I was younger but now I admit that I stare like that so that the commenter gets uncomfortable. Then I usually tell my husband, and similar to MikePTY upthread he tells me that the person is dumb and I'm wonderful
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Oh man I want to make them feel as awkward and crappy as they made me feel. At one point a former neighbor poked me in the belly and asked if there was another little one on the way. My (honest) response was that no, I wasn't pregnant, I was just putting on weight due to the fact that I wasn't able to exercise as much as I had been due to the cancer treatments I had been undergoing. I'm pretty proud of my self-restraint. I wanted to tell her that if she touched me again, she'd pull back a nub.
Dumb b****. Seriously, I hadn't really even gained much weight at that point. I need to consider the source. She moved out and left her dog behind. Garbage human being.
Hey, OP, I hope you don't let it derail your awesome efforts. One day you can deliver a fit, healthy, double-finger salute.3 -
I just tell them I am great with burrito, and am due in about 8 hours and leave it at that. The nervous chuckle that follows is probably more satisfying then it should be, lol.2
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They get the death stare, and a lecture about how I was brought up to believe it was rude to comment on a person's appearance. Depending on the day, and who it is, I might also add - for example how would you feel if I mentioned that massive spot/ coffee stain on shirt/ mad eyebrows etc ....0
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Just bluntly tell them you're not. They're the ones being rude.0
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mom23mangos wrote: »OP, I’m so sorry you had to experience that. I unfortunately made that mistake only once in my life when I was a young mother myself. It was someone who had been fairly along in their pregnancy and had lost the baby, but still had the extra weight. I now never comment unless a head is coming out. It’s usually mortifying for both parties and I bet most people never make that mistake again. It just sucks that you were their one mistake.
This was someone in their 80s who said it.0
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