bullied at the gym

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2

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  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
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    There are always non-verbal ways to confront someone. If the lady in a turtleneck was making you feel self-conscious by staring at you, you could always stare at her [feel free to make a face] to make her feel self-conscious about herself.

    The guy giving you lip about being on the phone, ignore him. Some people like to create tension by creating attention. Not giving it to them puts more insecurity into themselves and therefore they will act like children who throw tantrums like giant 2-year olds. He probably enjoyed the fact you scurried away.

    I know it's already been done, but for future reference, there are times when you could match the confrontation with the same type of action; i.e. staring, countered by staring back, and there are times when you could equally match confrontation by doing the complete opposite; i.e. yelling, countered by silence.

    I would have loved to be in your position. I welcome opportunities like that to arise. I practice it every time I'm at work with disgruntled clients.
  • strandedeyes
    strandedeyes Posts: 392 Member
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    I would have stared down that woman for wearing a turtleneck and jeans to the gym....now thats just weird.
  • mgodby86
    mgodby86 Posts: 27 Member
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    I'm sorry this happened to you - how rude!! Just use it as fuel for your next workout ! :)
  • gracemtn
    gracemtn Posts: 33 Member
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    Just use it as fuel for your next workout ! :)

    good idea.
  • summerbert
    summerbert Posts: 292 Member
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    Either tell them to shove it or ignore them. Just pretend like they aren't even there hovering your space
  • RussianLynx
    RussianLynx Posts: 83
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    one word...TAZER.

    That literally just made me laugh out loud!
  • JeepBaja
    JeepBaja Posts: 1,824 Member
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    I have a million and half things I *should have said*

    See the movie "You Got Mail"? Remember it? Remember how Meg Ryan could never muster the strength to say what was on her mind when she was confronted with a rotten person? How she wanted to say how she felt but didn't want to be mean. Remember how she felt bad when she finally did say something mean?

    You are better than these tools in the gym. I've seen it all... I used to confront tools like this in on fashion or another... I would use dry humor or sarcasm or just outright call them on their idiocy and I hate confrontations! They suck... Next time just ignore them, stare right past them as if they don't exist, that they are not worth your time because in the end, they are not worth your time. It's bad enough you are already in a gym, why take on more misery??? :)
  • RussianLynx
    RussianLynx Posts: 83
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    That guy was a jerk and I'm sorry he made you feel that way.

    I get irritated at the gym with people on their phones if they're sitting idly on a maching I want to use and just chatting/texting and basically being a jerk, but I would never think that gives me a right to verbally abuse someone! It's not anyone's business whether you use your phone. It's your phone and your gym time. She could have used any machine, but chose the one next to you.

    He was a tool. Please don't let him ruin the gym for you. I agree with the earlier suggestion of maybe going to the gym at a different time of day (and hopefully avoiding them) until you get your confidence back.

    Who cares what they think? Do you really value the opinion of someone who wears jeans and a turtleneck on a treadmill?
  • dr1981
    dr1981 Posts: 76 Member
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    If you aren't ready for a physical confrontation then I wouldn't say anything back. Just ignore it. If you have another encounter with him or her then bring it to the attention of management. Seriously. Fights get real nasty real quick. Also try to keep calls to a minimum while using the equipment. :D

    and not to imply that you were being inconsiderate since you've already mentioned there were other machines available but now that we're on the subject.... personally it really puts me through the roof when someone is occupying the equipment that I want to use but that person is only half-assing or not doing anything at all because he or she is on the phone....... god just thinking about it makes my blood pressure go up. I've had to ask a guy who was just sitting on the bench press equipment talking on the phone for several minutes if he was done using it. That's RIDICULOUS!! I was so annoyed and really wanted to just yell at him to get the f-ck off the bench. Seriously, people and their f-cking phone habits!!

    okay, end rant. lol
  • mistawalka
    mistawalka Posts: 108 Member
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    one word...TAZER.

    A high fibre bean based diet and some lunges are almost as effective at clearing a 'personal' zone around your exercise area.
  • gracemtn
    gracemtn Posts: 33 Member
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    Yeah I fully own the fact I shouldn't have been on the phone. Not allowed in my gym. I DID break the rule. I was more bothered by the manner in which he came at me. He was about 30years my senior and I felt threatened. Than he decided to make a big deal about my age claiming I shouldn't be using my parents membership, he was going to have the attendant call my mom, etc. Facts being the gym is apart of a very snotty golf club. It is MY membership, I write the damn check every month. And the gym is HUGE and we were the only people in there.

    Unfortunately, this is the 3rd time I have had someone at this club my a big deal out of my age (before I was accused of being my sons nanny and also called a trophy wife.) I am pretty sure when renewals come up I am not going to be joining again. This is probably why the manager was talking about getting new members...
  • dr1981
    dr1981 Posts: 76 Member
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    Facts being the gym is apart of a very snotty golf club.

    Figures.

    I've never had any bad experiences like that with people at any of the 24hour fitness gyms I've been to but I've had some not-so-in shape friends complain about feeling out of place and unwelcome while attending Golds Gym clubs.
  • pyro13g
    pyro13g Posts: 1,127 Member
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    Report him to gym management. Next time, a foot in the boys:wink:
  • RussianLynx
    RussianLynx Posts: 83
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    He went out of his way to be a jerk to you. He could have reminded you of the phone policy without being such a tool about it.

    Report him next time. If you're being harrassed about your age and such on a regular basis, I'd say shop around for a new gym when your renewal time comes. I love my gym. I'm a good ten years older and a lot heavier than their average clientele, but I've never been made to feel unwelcome in any way.
  • Dmonique85
    Dmonique85 Posts: 112
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    a girl in jeans with way too much perfume did that to me the other day. I didn't look at her at ask just moved really fast on the elliptical til she gave up.
  • Kimmotion5783
    Kimmotion5783 Posts: 417 Member
    edited February 2019
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    lilac01 wrote: »
    I would have told the couple to **** OFF!

    I agree. May we all be blessed with that kind of bravery! It's not easy.
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
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    Zombie thread
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
    edited February 2019
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    singingflutelady wrote: »
    Zombie thread

    Yay! Time for this!

    tm37ex53fki7.gif


  • Kimmotion5783
    Kimmotion5783 Posts: 417 Member
    edited February 2019
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    Fyi, there's a fine line between criticism and harassment. If this happens regularly, especially with repeat offenders, it's harassment- report them to the front desk. Make note of the time, place and what happened- especially if it interferes with your workout in any way.

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