Parents I need your advice

Its been a hot minute since I have had a new born, and I did not read all the comments so I apoligize if I repeat anything anyone has said. You definitely want to have a car seat, and have it properly installed. Most Fire Departments will show you how to install it properly. The only other extremely useful advice I can give you is to sleep when the baby sleeps. It's hard AF because you feel like you need to do a million other things while you have the time, but for real, that stuff can wait, you need to sleep, and take care of you.

Congratulations, babies are wonderful.

Listen to your gut. And give up any expectations you might have about how things will be because that's how they are for everybody.

I never even considered the concept that I may not be able to breastfeed. And when my milk refused to come in, I was pumping / BFing / taking prescription drugs to help increase my milk around the clock... but my baby screamed for 6 weeks because I was inadvertently starving her. The doctors, nurses and I kept trying to make BFing work, but it simply wasn't, and I developed PND. It wasn't until we switched to formula that I began to enjoy my daughter.

Also, you'll have doctors, nurses and other parents telling you (often contradictory) how to do things, which makes it SO confusing for a first time parent. Listen to your gut - do what is best for your family, and you don't need to justify your choices to anyone.

Congratulations!! So happy for you both! ❤️

My parenting advice will be more useful in a year or so but keep it in your memory bank...

My advice to new parents is... “Don’t wait until your child is 2-3 years old to start correcting inappropriate behavior and establish parental expectations.” In other words, when you start noticing your child exhibiting negative behaviors, you can gently teach them what is/isn’t appropriate behavior at a very young age, even if you just start repeating phrases.

Ex: Your 18 mth old starts biting, either other children, parents, etc.
To Do: Start using phrases such as “No biting”... “Biting hurts me/our friends”... “We use our teeth to bite/eat food”... “Does your mouth hurt? Let’s find a cold toy to help it feel better” and offer them a teething toy/pain meds/etc.
It’s also important for us as parents/caregivers to recognize WHY the child is biting... the child is biting because their mouth hurts from teething and they might not be able to vocalize that to someone. A child might also bite out of frustration with another child for taking their toy— in this case, start using language to label their feelings. A child who bites is not a “bad kid” and shouldn’t be labeled as such; they are just trying to make sense of what is going on and don’t have the language or reasoning skills to know what’s appropriate or inappropriate.

Ex: You enter a grocery store and as you turn to get a cart, your toddler darts out the door.
To Do: Run after them of course, then start the dialogue... “Sam, you ran away from Daddy and *that* wasn’t safe”... “I’m your dad and my job is to keep you safe and I can’t keep you safe if you don’t listen”... Then give Sam 2 acceptable choices... “Sam, you have 2 choices... Do you want to get in the cart or walk holding my hand?”... (child chooses walking)...Then follow that with “Okay, Sam you can hold my hand...but if you run away again, I will put you in the cart so I can keep you safe.”
Also remember to follow through— say what you mean and mean what you say. If you give your child the consequence up front and they choose to ignore it, follow through with the consequence. This will establish parental expectations, teach the child acceptable behaviors, and that there are consequences for our actions.

Sorry this is so long!! Feel free to friend/message me for additional advice— I have a degree in Early Childhood and many years of working with kids. Plus I have my own 14 year old so I’m learning how to parent a teenager as I go. 😂

I’m dealing with grandkids now but I remember well the exhaustion.
My advice is to sleep every minute you can.

lots of skin to skin contact when he is tiny is really important whenever possible, esp if it's warm in your place and you just have him lie on your chest and cuddle him up . those are moments you'll never forget.

my boy was very VERY colicky and wasn't up for that unfortunately . don't be too hard on yourself if he gets this way *hoping he does not for everyone's sake! * - but perhaps you can get one of those chairs that are battery operated and kinda subtly shaky to soothe him if he does. *sorry i don't know the name of what it is but i saw it on TV lol*

i tell you , if i'd have had one of those when my boy was small - it would have saved me a LOT of frustration.

don't forget self care when he's sleeping. you'll do just fine because it will go past in the BLINK of an eye! i have two who are all grown up and they managed through it all - best of luck

Congratulations! He looks like a beauty in his ultrasound picture.

You'll be blown away by how obsessed you are with your precious little son. There is nothing in the world like holding your newborn baby, looking into his eyes, watching him grow.

My advice is to do what seems to make the most sense for your baby and your family. People offer a lot of (well-meaning) advice abut sleeping, feeding, routines, clothing, traveling with a baby, etc, etc. But you'll be the one who knows your baby and family.

Best of luck!

I think you should try to relax. You won't know or have everything or really be ready and that is okay. You'll figure it out.
Be prepared to let go of things that you think you will do as parents. Children don't tend to go along with your plans or what someone else's baby did. Be flexible and do what works for your kid.

Sleep when they sleep. Help each other get enough rest. An exhausted parent is not great.

Buy a pack of diapers every week or 2 weeks from now until the baby comes. Will help spread the cost out a bit and having the stock pile with the craziness of a newborn is nice. Also, especially for fathers, it is ok to put the baby down if you get frustrated. Crying never hurt a baby. Until you have kids you don't realize how scary it is with how frustrated you can get. Just put the baby down and take some time.

Other than that, have fun.

_Deadman_Walking_ wrote: »

I vaguely remember December 2004 being the last time I napped, or had a shower without crying for joy at being alone for 5 minutes.

Me too - the little darling is 14 now - going on 40! :-)

I've got 4 kids - I still know nothing, they're ALL different. Listen to people but listen to your instincts too. Enjoy every minute and keep telling yourself that waking up every 2 hours is not going to be forever. ZZZzzzzzz

Don't buy new clothes or toys. Consignment is your best plan.