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Struggling To Stay Motivated

keverett257keverett257 Posts: 1Member Member Posts: 1Member Member
Hi everyone,

I have been trying on and off again to lose weight for years. I find it really hard to stay motivated to keep eating healthy and exercising every day. It’s been especially hard because of two reasons:

1: Not being able to see any real change.

2: Constantly being told “You don’t need to lose weight.”

The second one is extremely problematic for me because I am one of those people who has zero self esteem. It’s really hard to be motivated to lose weight when people are constantly telling me off for “Not being fat” and “Obviously doing it for attention.” I am NOT doing it for attention. I seriously want to improve my health so I can reach my goals like being able to run for 5 minutes without feeling like I’m going to burst a lung. I don’t go running for attention, I do it because I genuinely want to lose weight. If I had my way I would never go outside to exercise, but because my husband and I travel I have to make do with running where I can. We live in an RV and don’t have room for a treadmill. I’m constantly feeling ashamed of being outside because I am ashamed of my body and how people react to it.

I am 5’6”, 165lbs so I need to lose weight, but I carry my weight in such a way that people ridicule me. I carry very little weight in my waist and it is almost all in my hips and thighs. My waist is 30” and EACH thigh is 29”. I have tried exercises that target the area to try and create lean muscle that should reduce the size, but it doesn’t work. I’ve even tried to avoid working the area at all and still no luck.

Each time I try to lose weight my waist gets smaller and my hips and thighs get bigger. I try my best, but seeing the numbers fluctuate between the two areas in such a manner is really disheartening. I feel like no matter what I do, I’m just getting fatter. I just want to lose weight without being shamed or feeling so ashamed.

What can I do? Please, I really need some advice on what to do. I just don’t want to feel ashamed any time I go outside.


  • noodlesnonoodlesno Posts: 68Member, Premium Member Posts: 68Member, Premium Member

    So losing weight is really for no-one other than yourself. If you want to drop some body fat and feel confident then that is your business. As long as you do it in a healthy way, people around should you leave you to it. If they don't support you then ignore them and get on with doing you.

    Perhaps, if you are bored of hearing that 'You don't need to lose weight' then perhaps stop telling people you need to lose weight. Change the narrative to say 'I want to feel more confident in my body', most people can support that.

    In terms of the waist/thigh ratio; unfortunately, you can not spot train any part of your body. Meaning that you can not target fat loss from only one part. Also generally where you fat on first is the last part that you will lose it. Meaning if you carry your weight in your thighs they will be the last place that the fat loss will happen. The only way to make your thighs smaller is to reduce your overall body fat and the only way to do that is to be in a calorie deficit. Start logging your calories and make sure you eat 500kcal per day less then you exercise.

    Good luck with everything. Also, don't be so hard on yourself or your body. It is an amazing thing that has got you this far!

  • ManEatingLizardManEatingLizard Posts: 15Member Member Posts: 15Member Member
    I'm of the opinion that so long as you're not doing anything dangerous, you are the only one that can dictate what your body NEEDS to look like. If you wanna lose weight, you should.

    Your hips and thighs get bigger because your main exercise is running. You might want to look into exercises you can do in your living room (or outside, if you want) that aren't as leg intensive. Things like planking, situps, pushups, even yoga and pilates you can mostly do in an RV living room. It limits muscle from over developing, because you're only lifting your own body weight, whereas when you run you're probably pushing yourself to go farther which means your muscle has to react and grow to accommodate that. And, with these exercises you don't have to go outside, which I always support. I hate when people watch me sweat.
  • PaytraBPaytraB Posts: 2,363Member Member Posts: 2,363Member Member
    Losing weight and fitness are for yourself only. When I was losing weight I didn't tell anyone, except my husband. I just did it. I had lost almost 20 lbs before anyone noticed. So this journey is a solitary one that you do for yourself.

    Body shape is a genetic, individual think. You can't change that. If you have a pear shape (larger hips, smaller waist) that proportion will probably always be there. It's you and it's right for you. You can, though, get to a safe & comfortable weight and fitness will tone that shape.

    You can run 5 minutes without huffing & puffing with practice. Start slow. Run 1 minute, walk 5 minutes, repeat a few times. Run slow (very slow)....slower than you want to run.You should never feel as if you are "busting a lung". If you do, slow down. Do this 3 times a week. After a week, increase the running time to 1.5 minutes; walk for 5 minutes.
    The idea is to slowly and safely increase the running and eventually decrease the walking.
    Check into a program like C25K to get an idea of how to get started. C25K is a very good program and if you can already walk 30 minutes comfortably I recommend it. It turned me into a runner.

    Running won't help with weight loss but it will make your body fitter, which looks slimmer. It will take time, though, and consistency.
    Weight lifting will help sculp your body as well. Maybe more so than running but it won't, I think, help your cardio health.

    Do this for yourself. Don't mention it to anyone, stick to your new routine & diet. Hardly anyone will notice if you don't say a word. This gives you the freedom to reach your goals at your pace.

    Good luck!
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