Other people's kids

LiftingSpirits
LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
in Chit-Chat
Could you be in a serious relationship with someone whose kids annoy you?
Even the best parenting doesn't make perfect kids and most people are annoyed by their own kids, BUT.... could you open your heart and life up to kids that annoy you?
I have never been a step parent type in a relationship so I am truly curious as to other people's opinions on this.
Do you learn to love those kids? Do you ignore the fact that they drive you crazy and still carry on the relationship or is it a dealbreaker?
Be honest, don't just say what you think you should say or try to bash me for wondering about this. I haven't been in the situation so I do not know the answers.
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Replies

  • tc1333
    tc1333 Posts: 4,033 Member
    It's a deal breaker.
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    edited March 2019
    i've been in a long term relationship with a kid involved and she is pretty wonderful but if the kid is annoying i might question what sort of parenting might have lead to the behavior (nurture) or if it was just nature
    nature yes
    nurture no
  • RomaineCalm
    RomaineCalm Posts: 3,972 Member
    If you didn't eventually warm up to them, how long could you pretend they didn't annoy you? Might be an issue down the line...
  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
    RomaineCalm wrote: »
    If you didn't eventually warm up to them, how long could you pretend they didn't annoy you? Might be an issue down the line...

    It's a tough call because generally someone probably shouldn't be introducing their kids to a potential mate on date 1 or 2 or maybe even for months. You never want kids to get attached to someone and pull that person out of their life. So I would say spending time with someone else's kids should be on a limited basis to prevent that. Then you don't know whether you ever will warm up to them.
  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
    tinkerhellraiser wrote: »
    all kids are annoying tbh

    I agree with this a lot. All kids have annoying moments, but some are just little jerks. That doesn't always result from a bad parent or maybe it is from the other parent.
    If i ever find myself in this position I would want to love those kids as my own. They would deserve that as well as my partner, but what if I just couldn't? I feel like this is probably a bigger issue now than in the past as kids seem more influenced by society than their upbringing
  • InkgirlKC
    InkgirlKC Posts: 251 Member
    Raising annoying kids is one thing because you are slow indoctrinated into it but getting them all at once through a new relationship could be overwhelming.
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,900 Member
    Divorce or breakup of the kids "originals" can make kids behavior by no fault of their own a deal breaker.
  • Je55ica_79
    Je55ica_79 Posts: 276 Member
    If you don't like thier kids its definitely a deal breaker.

    I have a blended family its a challenge but if i didn't love my non bio child like I love my own no way would it have worked out!

    Also my oldest daughter's ex stepmom was so mean to my daughter. Why? Who knows! But my child didn't deserve to be treated awlful while they were married.

    Just walk away you're doing everyone a favor!
  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    I'd just beat them at their own game. I can reach a level of annoying that kids could only dream of.

    You are the champion
  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Only if he was wealthy and could afford Swiss boarding school and summer camp in a remote location very far away.

    Smart. So I can consider dating men with children IF he is rich. I like your thinking.
  • Tankiscool
    Tankiscool Posts: 11,105 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Only if he was wealthy and could afford Swiss boarding school and summer camp in a remote location very far away.

    Just because they got holes in their cheese don't make em fancy! Learned that the hard way!
  • Tankiscool
    Tankiscool Posts: 11,105 Member
    I can't say, I'm a kid myself xD

    But seriously if they annoy me, it's probably the parents parenting skills rather than the kid itself. Very hard to annoy me lol as I'm a pest myself o:) It would be a deal breaker.
  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
    Tankiscool wrote: »
    I can't say, I'm a kid myself xD

    But seriously if they annoy me, it's probably the parents parenting skills rather than the kid itself. Very hard to annoy me lol as I'm a pest myself o:) It would be a deal breaker.

    I won't ask if your dad is single then 😝
  • Tankiscool
    Tankiscool Posts: 11,105 Member
    LiftingSpirits wrote: »
    Tankiscool wrote: »
    I can't say, I'm a kid myself xD

    But seriously if they annoy me, it's probably the parents parenting skills rather than the kid itself. Very hard to annoy me lol as I'm a pest myself o:) It would be a deal breaker.

    I won't ask if your dad is single then 😝

    He isn't, but I am 😉

    lemme sliiiddddeee in your dm! 😏😜
  • George_of_the_Jungle
    George_of_the_Jungle Posts: 3,316 Member
    TBD I suppose, but it is something I've thought about. Being biased as I am my kids are all pretty fkn cool, so the others need to be too. If I were to see that it were from the results of a different parenting styles then it would be a factor for consideration at least. I dont envision ever sharing a home again, at least not while my kids are still living with me, so I think that provides a bit more tolerance.
  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
    Tankiscool wrote: »
    LiftingSpirits wrote: »
    Tankiscool wrote: »
    I can't say, I'm a kid myself xD

    But seriously if they annoy me, it's probably the parents parenting skills rather than the kid itself. Very hard to annoy me lol as I'm a pest myself o:) It would be a deal breaker.

    I won't ask if your dad is single then 😝

    He isn't, but I am 😉

    lemme sliiiddddeee in your dm! 😏😜

    😂
    But you just told me you are an annoying kid

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