How to break up with him...?
Replies
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This is what i'd do, don't know if it will help but here goes.......Invite him for a coffee somewhere neutral, and explain all your concerns, say that you've realised you're not ready to persue this relationship at this time, that you really want to stay friends. Make it clear that friends don't do the stuff he's been doing, that you'll be there to support him emotionally but not financially.
You sound a very caring person, so i think you'll need to be kind but very firm if only to prevent you caving...good luck with how ever you do this. :flowerforyou: 0 -
at the risk of sounding nasty, it would appear he is a loser!
You are so early on in the relationship, that it should (hopefully) not be too emotional and he would be more likely to take the news better... so just be honest with him and tell him that you don't feel you can continue the relationship0 -
and don't be too overly concerned with his feelings - he's a big boy and will survive.
He will! You may both even be able to laugh about it in future. Good luck.0 -
We can't judge you simply because we've all been in a difficult situation similar to this (or been on the other end?) first things first, you're definitely doing the right thing by ending it, the longer it goes on, the harder it will be (for both of you really because you'll have the stress of putting up with him and he'll have more time to think back over the duration that you were together and could possibly react badly).
I would just sit him down, in a public ish place (if you are a bit worried about him creating a scene, its always best to be in front of people that could be on hand to help if god forbid it went wrong) and just openly tell him what you've told us (minus the words pothead lol) just explain you're not quite ready, and it wouldn't be fair to drag him along.
Good luck dear!0 -
Tell him how you feel as you have described (pot, money, feeling uncomfortable - don't say too much about his work habits as you are not his manager) with the exception of that he ignores you at work. That I can understand. Perhaps, by breaking it off, he will pay more attention to you knowing that you are no longer a couple.
Look for someone outside of work?0 -
I think you should just tell him you are trying to lose some annoying unwanted weight...0
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Haha, this is the best one so far :laugh:I think you should just tell him you are trying to lose some annoying unwanted weight...0 -
I'm personally not a big fan of the "Let's just be friends" thing. If it works and you can truly be friends, that's fabulous. I've never been able to pull it off before when the person breaking up with me has said that. (That could be my own problem, I'm willing to admit.) If you say it, mean it. Do you want him as a friend?
It's going to be hard working with him once you break up, but honesty is definitely the best way to go. You can't control what he says about you. You can, however, control what *you* say and how *you* act. If he slams you, don't retaliate. Take the moral high road, as it were. You're more likely to keep the respect of your coworkers that way.0 -
OK no one is interested in channeling Steve Martin?
Say, "I break with thee. I break with thee. I break with thee." Then you throw dog poop on his shoes.
This is the best advice in the world. My roommate and I listened to this ^ all the time freshman year of college.0 -
Leave my picture on your night stand; next to your vibrator.0
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It's been three days. Just tell him that you made a mistake and shouldn't have agreed to be his girlfriend. It's not like you guys have been dating for years and have a lot invested emotionally.
So what if he calls you a skank? Big deal. He'll get over it. You'll get over it.
But word to the wise: Don't poop where you sleep. Don't date coworkers. Terrible, TERRIBLE idea.0 -
amg double post fail >.<0
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I once told a guy "it's just you feel like a brother to me" and he cried. So, DON'T say that.0
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Tell him you are married to the sea.0
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I once told a guy "it's just you feel like a brother to me" and he cried. So, DON'T say that.
weird same thing happened to me0 -
Since you look like an attractive version of Raven Symoné, you should just say "This relationship is not so Raven" and be done with it.
-wtk0 -
I'm evil for doing this on a website, but I need help (ideas) on how to break up with my boyfriend.
Now, before you go judging me, let me explain myself. He and I have only been a couple for 3 days. We've been dating for about a month prior. He's nice & funny - which I really like HOWEVER:
1. he's a pothead (which I actually wouldn't mind at all except for the fact that he asked to borrow money from me to purchase it.)
2. he asked to borrow money from me. already.
3. he's my coworker...and he's constantly late to work (irresponsible?)
4. he hardly talks to me at work. I understand, because I wanted to keep this relationship on the DL for now, but he practically ignores me...
5. he is so obviously deeply scarred by all the women who have cheated and lied to him, and I'm afraid he's gonna make me pay for it
He's not a bad guy, he's just hurt. I knew all of this before I agreed to be his girlfriend but I have my own damn issues to work out. I know I should have said no. Shoulda Woulda Coulda. But...now what? How do I let him down easy? I don't want to hurt him anymore
Also, please don't be so mean to me. I made a mistake, and I feel terrible. I just need help. I really do care for him, but I'm just trying to avoid huge heartbreak because even now he has all the power to hurt me.
I think you should just read this whole post to him. It sounds like you've listed plenty of reasons as to why to break up with him. You have to be strong though in the long run and not give in to his ways to get you back. That's the worst thing you can do.0 -
Go into the conversation with a very clear agenda: END IT. Don't dance around anything. You do not want to be in the relationship. The more you explain, the more you give away for debating.
Also.. The Road Dog RULES....Leave my picture on your night stand; next to your vibrator.0 -
Talk to him about it but also if you not him feel you guys are better off as friends the being in a relationship you better do it now while its still fresh..trust me you dont want it to be down the line where there are more feelings involved cause then things will
get ugly not only at work but outside it as well..good luck0 -
Be honest with him. Wouldn't you want the same in return?0
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Throw his **** in the yard. Slap him. Call him a bum. Just hide the keys to your Nova.0
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Tell him you are married to the sea.
lol0 -
I wouldn't have the "be honest with him" type conversation! It's been three days! If you start spewing out all the things you dislike it WILL turn ugly, it'll hurt his ego and he isn't in love with you yet so there'll be a backlash lol.
I agree with whoever said just tell him you made the wrong decision saying yes. You didn't think about it before you answered. You aren't ready. Didn't understand the question (lol kidding).
I will reiterate, it's not wise to go busting out all the crummy things about him that lead to this decision, focus on why you just can't/shouldn't/don't want to date right now. Sorry I said yes when I shouldn't have. See you around.0 -
how about you buy him some weed first, then break up with him... never heard of an angry pothead. :laugh:I can see it already. I break up with him, he calls me a ***** and a *kitten* behind my back. This is gonna be hard...0 -
Really? FFS it's been 3 days, say "I've changed my mind, it's not me it's you." Puh-lease, if you've been with the guy for a few years or have committed in some serious sense I can understand, but it's been 1 month and 3 days since you even considered dating.
Or you can tell him that you're sleeping with someone else.0 -
It's not me it's you!
this would be my answer also. like a bandage pull it off fast. sure it stings, but it over with.0 -
:I can see it already. I break up with him, he calls me a ***** and a *kitten* behind my back. This is gonna be hard...
That's why you tell every one he has a little wee wee before he has the chance!0 -
I had a friend who ended up in your situation. You really may need to "scapegoat" this on someone else to keep him doing you any harm. Say your parents absolutely do not want you to have a boyfriend while you're in school or they'll take you out. This way it's not you directly making the decision. I wish you luck.I'm evil for doing this on a website, but I need help (ideas) on how to break up with my boyfriend.
Now, before you go judging me, let me explain myself. He and I have only been a couple for 3 days. We've been dating for about a month prior. He's nice & funny - which I really like HOWEVER:
1. he's a pothead (which I actually wouldn't mind at all except for the fact that he asked to borrow money from me to purchase it.)
2. he asked to borrow money from me. already.
3. he's my coworker...and he's constantly late to work (irresponsible?)
4. he hardly talks to me at work. I understand, because I wanted to keep this relationship on the DL for now, but he practically ignores me...
5. he is so obviously deeply scarred by all the women who have cheated and lied to him, and I'm afraid he's gonna make me pay for it
He's not a bad guy, he's just hurt. I knew all of this before I agreed to be his girlfriend but I have my own damn issues to work out. I know I should have said no. Shoulda Woulda Coulda. But...now what? How do I let him down easy? I don't want to hurt him anymore
Also, please don't be so mean to me. I made a mistake, and I feel terrible. I just need help. I really do care for him, but I'm just trying to avoid huge heartbreak because even now he has all the power to hurt me.0 -
Every relationship is a learning experience. Sometimes you learn what you don't want. I actually had a little mental check list of things that I tried to find out about the guys I was dating within the first couple dates. They were my KNOWN deal breakers - (smoking, drugs, or other addictive behavior was one of them), so before anyone got too emotionally invested, I'd weed out the punks.
Just be honest and say this isn't right for you and move on. Sounds like work will be civil (he'll probably just continue to ignore you).
Hurt or not, there is 1 thing I've learned about people (myself included). We can help each other, but no one person can "heal" you. That's up to him to figure out for himself. Healing and forgiving is a gift we each can give only to ourselves. Everyone gets hurt in life. It's how you deal with it and what you do about it that defines who you are. So if a man is running from hurt - whether running to pot, alcohol, girls, video games, etc - then he will always hide/run from it until HE decides it's important enough to him to stop.0 -
Oh - and if he calls you a *kitten* behind your back, PLEASE don't give into the mud slinging. You know he's going to be angry - and since how we deal with difficult situations helps define who you are, if he starts calling you names, ignore it. If someone brings it up to you, ask them to consider the source. Your actions will speak VOLUMES about your character in this tough situation. People (the important ones) will see that you're not what he's advertising you to be. 0
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