Struggling

Sazzle 1983
I completely understand what your going though. It’s almost like the number on the scale defines who we are. And I agree with the others, therapy can really help-I’ve been doing it for years. I always say it just helps get the nonsense out of my head and helps me to reevaluate my priorities.
You not in this alone.. and by the way- I think you look great!!!!

pointguard12 wrote: »

Are you having enough sex and drugs? Sometimes that helps me when my mind just won't cooperate

^^ This. He's ain't wrong. :-)

Also I only feel like I look good when I'm lifting weights and have muscle filling me out in the good spots.

Try to separate your happiness and your weight and look at them as 2 different issues, because they are.
Try the talk therapy to work on the happiness part. Therapy rocks and changed my life.
For your weight, what are you going for? A certain level of fitness, to fit into your prom dress again, to just be healthy? Then eat and exercise in a logical, sensible, long-term way to reach those goals.

Don't punish yourself for not being happy by starving yourself or overeating. That doesn't fix anything. Take a deep breath and call a therapist.

Girl, uou look awesome! Put a smile on your face when you take that beautiful picture! And I’m just going to ask straight out... what are you unhappy about? Are things going on in your life that have you down, or is it strictly about the weight? You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to, you can just answer yourself. If it’s depression, then you really need to go to a doc and get a script and some therapy to help you. Nothing wrong with that. And in the winter i think it’s harder to lose weight bc your body wants to keep itself warm and put on a few pounds.
I have the opposite problem myself... I still feel like I’m my 125-130 lb body that i have always been up till about 5 years ago and can’t stand looking at myself with all this weight on. I’m happy I lost 22 lbs so far at 1200cal since November and it doesn’t feel like I’m starving myself most of the time but i still hate how i look... it hasn’t made much difference yet in looks. But I am not out of breath anymore and Not having the GERD symptoms I was with the extra weight and i don’t crave the junk anymore so that’s good. I’m a single mom and i need to be healthy! So do you. I decided to just go with my body rhythm and intermittent fast daily... so I eat a little during the day and most at night when my cravings are... opposite of what most recommend.. it’s really helped. Maybe give yourself the freedom to NOT do what they say.

Oh. I'm bummed that you don't see yourself the way most people do. Judging by the responses to your post from strangers, you need to be kinder to yourself. It's a strange thing that we take care of physical ailments, but not mental ones. We are proactive and have check ups even when we are healthy, but we don't get "How are you feeling?" check ups. Maybe you need to frame it as a way to learn something new about yourself. A neutral 3rd party person can be really helpful. They ask questions and you have to think about it. As adults, we forget that we don't stop learning new things. Going to talk to someone also doesn't necessarily tie you up into a year of therapy. Might just be a few visits to work through something that you didn't realize about yourself.

You look great, by the way. Your hard work paid off. For some reason though, there's a disconnect between your eyes and your brain. It might be worth exploring that a little...

Meditation is very very helpful. Honestly, shut the electronics down or get them out of your house, put on some beautiful meditation music, light some candles or do some aromatherapy and just meditate to a complete calm and do this for 10 minutes every evening if you can in the morning too. Every time you have a negative thought replace it with 20 positive thoughts. Oh, by the way I’ve had therapy sessions as well and it works wonders !! Agree with the support group here that you look very fit. Keep up the great job.

+1 for exercise especially if you can get into a good group class (like bootcamp is good) that has a good supportive group of folks. Some groups I have been in are like a fitness family and very motivating and supportive. Some are just groups of folks doing the same workout but no real interaction. I don't know how to find which is which but you can often trial classes. Best of luck!

Lots of good ideas above. I have some experiences to add.

I've never been to England but I hear the winters are gloomy and that brings a seasonal depression to many. Maintaining weight through the winter holidays counts as a win! As we seek increased happiness we too often neglect the happiness we already have. Look into what a gratitude journal can do for you.

Spring is just around the corner and lifts spirits. Get outside often. As a Christian, I let Easter add so much hope and self-forgiveness to the resolutions I made for New Years.

The absolute best way I increase my happiness is to serve others. It helps me better appreciate what I have and know that the world needs me to make it better. If you need ideas on how to help, try www.justserve.org

Finally, As you go through different phases of life, let go of past pleasures and relish the new opportunities. It is hard transitioning to mid-life but struggling against it won't make it go away, so roll with it.