Tips on getting your partner to join the gym

Yes, don’t try to force her to join the gym if she hates working out. There are plenty of other ways to exercise that don’t involve a gym. She needs to find something she likes and finds fun. And working out as a couple doesn’t always work well; if you have different fitness levels or prefer different forms of exercise, for example. She may also feel intimidated if she thinks you are watching/evaluating her workouts.

Tips on getting your partner to join the gym: Don't force her (or anyone really). Forcing an adult to do something that they aren't in any way shape or form obligated to do won't end well. I also don't think it's very kind, but that's me. I also second everything that @whmscll said. Let your wife find something that she wants to do and actually enjoys. Also, for you, realize that exercising is far from confined to being in the gym.

PLEASE don't push her. There are so many things she can do besides going to the gym. She might like some "me" time. You can tell her that you'd love for her to consider going with you--once, then leave it be. Maybe she'd like walking. Start going places with her and doing something she'd like.

tlosal wrote: »

Thanks for the thoughts and opinions. I was stating gym as an example. The main goal for this post was to find ways for both of us to be in a healthier lifestyle and how to influence those options.

then ask her what sorta things SHE wants to do don't force her to do the thing YOU like to do. then pick one you can both enjoy.

think of her general preferences and suggest trying things more up her alley to try.

can be as simple as going for walks/hikes.

tlosal wrote: »

Thanks for the thoughts and opinions. I was stating gym as an example. The main goal for this post was to find ways for both of us to be in a healthier lifestyle and how to influence those options. Some of you are taking it a bit too serious tho lol

Re read your OP. If that's what you really think then it wasn't very clear. To me, it sounded like you're trying to convince her to do something of your choice. Obviously if she was on board, she'd already be at the gym working out.

Nothing good will come out of pushing her. If you keep telling her that she needs to go to the gym, what she will likely hear you are saying is "you're fat". That's not gonna be good for either her self esteem or your relationship.

Let her be herself. Maybe she will be inspired by your change if you keep continuing to make it. My wife has started going back to the gym after watching me transform and being inspired by my progress. But she goes to a different gym that does a completely different style of exercise than what I train in, since it fits her best.

Gym time doesn't exactly count as quality time together, even if you could get her to go. You would likely be at different places in your fitness journey and doing different things, and trying to get her to foow what you are doing is just going to cause stress and strife.

If you want more quality time with your wife, make time for it. Do the things that she likes to do. If there is an active element, like going to the park or something, great. But if not, that's fine too.

Don't try to force anything on her, it's just gonna backfire and make both of you unhealthy.

I would suggest some fun and active things to do, like some of the posters mentioned above. Suggest a walk, or a bike ride when you have some time. Or dancing, ice skating, paddle boarding, canoeing—there are so many active things you can invite her to do that might feel more fun than the gym. As others said, lead by example, and then keep the invitation open to her to join in without pressure. Offer to cook—and cook healthy food.

It is not uncommon for people to get the health bug for a time and then annoy the crap out of people around them. Often the newfound fervor doesn't last because the change in habits were too sudden or too extreme and things go back to the way they were before. While it is commendable that you want to have a healthy lifestyle that includes your wife if this is new for you, you might need to just keep focusing on your own sustainability.

If you have been committed to this for 8 or so months and you feel rooted in your changes you can simply ask your wife if there is anything small she would like to do to start spending time sharing this part of your life with you. I suggest something like taking dance lessons together.