It's NOT a compliment when someone says...

cheryl72076
cheryl72076 Posts: 27
edited October 1 in Health and Weight Loss
It's not a compliment when someone says "wow she has such a pretty face but needs to lose weight"...this is a back handed compliment ya'll! :grumble:
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Replies

  • momof3and3
    momof3and3 Posts: 656 Member
    "you look good for having kids"

    in other words, you look like crap if you didn't :)
  • kneeki
    kneeki Posts: 347 Member
    =(
  • Frankenbarbie01
    Frankenbarbie01 Posts: 432 Member
    So with you on those!! My personal fave ....Your pretty, for a forty year old.....
    Nice.
  • mrspenton2009
    mrspenton2009 Posts: 84 Member
    It's not a compliment when someone says "wow she has such a pretty face but needs to lose weight"...this is a back handed compliment ya'll! :grumble:

    Or they say, "she is so pretty for a BIG girl"....are you serious??!!:grumble:
  • .." you look good for over 40..." Thanks
  • AMEN!!!
  • mspix
    mspix Posts: 153
    'You look great for having four kids' :huh:
  • JennsLosing
    JennsLosing Posts: 1,026
    "you look good for having kids"

    in other words, you look like crap if you didn't :)
    ugh, i hate that one!
  • Mrswheels01
    Mrswheels01 Posts: 201 Member
    Yeh the kids one always gets to me...even before I had my daughter I hated when people said that
  • horndave
    horndave Posts: 565
    Most of the time people have good intentions in their compliments, however sometimes foot in the mouth disease is prevelant. take the complments the way they are intended. You look good, You are pretty, etc.
  • tropikanagirl
    tropikanagirl Posts: 53 Member
    I think what happens is people will just talk without thinking about how that comment will affect others. :-/
  • JennsLosing
    JennsLosing Posts: 1,026
    It's not a compliment when someone says "wow she has such a pretty face but needs to lose weight"...this is a back handed compliment ya'll! :grumble:

    Or they say, "she is so pretty for a BIG girl"....are you serious??!!:grumble:
    my husband is notorious for saying that about women. im like... SHUT UP!! like thumper said, if you cant say something nice dont say nothing at all!
  • Hahaha i looove when I get "Damn you're pretty, but you'd be sexy if you lost weight"...err thanks?
  • puggleperson
    puggleperson Posts: 740 Member
    Well you do have a pretty face... haha
  • CountryDevil
    CountryDevil Posts: 819 Member
    Are you losing weight, you are looking good. But you need to work on.....
  • sunnyrunner23
    sunnyrunner23 Posts: 182 Member
    How about "I hope I look like that when I am YOUR age!!"
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Right, I think calling someone a butter face is more desirable. I mean at least you know they are taking care of themselves.
  • sherismb
    sherismb Posts: 120 Member
    When a person is thin and tells you, "You look good, just the way are". WTH you are thin!!
  • birdlover97111
    birdlover97111 Posts: 346 Member
    One of my doctor's nurses told me, "You have such lovely eyes and beautiful skin...Just think of how great you would look if you lost some weight".....:huh: ....I found a new doctor.....:bigsmile: ..
  • camy_chick
    camy_chick Posts: 277 Member
    i don't have the compliment problem......i just have the rude people that are like "i eat from a smaller plate so i don't gain weight. you should to". i get the RUDE RUDE RUDE people..........but i may be more biased since it is my dad's wife...and i have NEVER cared for her!
  • A_New_Horizon
    A_New_Horizon Posts: 1,555 Member
    "you look good for having kids"

    in other words, you look like crap if you didn't :)

    This one always gets to me too.:grumble:
  • CassieLEO
    CassieLEO Posts: 757 Member
    "You must have lost a TON of weight, you were really getting fat there for a while".........nice.....
  • minbee
    minbee Posts: 3
    Having not seen an old friend for a few years my abiding memory of our reunion was her saying 'that's a nice top... for YOU...'

    Thanks, pal.

    Edited as I thought of another one, a girl at work who always feels compelled to comment on my clothes said to me that my jacket was nice, well, nicer than my granny cardigans anyway.
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    ok, I'll bite...

    I can see why you don't want to take it as the nicest thing anyone has every said to you, but don't dismiss it entirely either. I get that you want to look better, and that's great... but but there's a complement in there (assuming it wasn't meant sarcastically).

    I'm a member of my local triathlon club... if after tonight's run-bike-run session someone looked at me and said, "wow, you're really fast for a single father"... I would take it as a compliment and respond with, "Thanks... next step is to be fast, period." They are still complementing me even if it's not the compliment I want. Besides, I AM a single father, I AM older than a lot of them... it's still a good thing to be fast for a single dad.
  • Trixtabella
    Trixtabella Posts: 471 Member
    I think when people say this they are trying to make you realise you are pretty in spite of the fact you weigh x amount of lbs. I guess that they just feel we are insecure about our weight / age, so they are saying I know you think your fat but even if you are your still pretty. Does that make sense?
    However I do agree as my Mum used to say it all the time to me and it is so annoying and in some cases hurtful.
  • JennsLosing
    JennsLosing Posts: 1,026
    "You must have lost a TON of weight, you were really getting fat there for a while".........nice.....
    lol that one sucks, but if you think about any time somebody says out loud "you lost alot of weight" they are thinking the second part quietly in their heads .
  • njbooklover
    njbooklover Posts: 77 Member
    You look so nice today . . . so that means I don't normally?
  • Stagezz
    Stagezz Posts: 124 Member
    One of my favorites...My little sister...

    "I'm getting married in October and i picked only my fat friends to be in the wedding so i look skinner. By the way you are one of my bridesmaids..."

    Uhm thanks...
  • VeganGal84
    VeganGal84 Posts: 938 Member
    "I always love that shirt/skirt/outfit on you!" means that I need to go shopping because I wear the same things every week!

    "Keep up the good work! (about weight loss)" means that you are assuming that I'm not at my goal weight yet. What if I am?


    And these are always meant in a nice way, so I am not actually offended by them, but they do make me think!
  • mrspenton2009
    mrspenton2009 Posts: 84 Member
    so very true!
This discussion has been closed.