So discouraged. HELP!

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mikmurphy
mikmurphy Posts: 57 Member
in Motivation and Support
I don't have anyone to talk to so I hope its ok to vent to you guys.

I gained 20 lbs when my best friend died in September. This was after busting my butt to get down to 155. Since September I ballooned up to 175. I was 173 when I started counting calories on March 5th. My calorie goals have jumped around but have stayed mostly under 1455 for 3 weeks. My average for the month is 1485. I started exercising on March 19th. I haven't lost a pound!! Measurements haven't changed, just nothing! I would bawl if I hadn't already put my makeup on to go run errands. Maybe later..

All I can think of doing is dropping my calories under 1400. Which I dread as I get SO hungry when my calories are that low. Maybe I can exercise even longer? Stop eating 5 hours before bed? Any advice, support, motivation accepted!

Replies

  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 1,030 Member
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    Are you weighing your food on a food scale? Fruit and all?
  • Panini911
    Panini911 Posts: 2,325 Member
    edited April 2019
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    I am very sorry for your loss.

    did you add your stats in MFP? what does it say to eat? I would recommend 0.5-1lb/a week rate of loss with only 20lbs to lose.

    once you have the above number, get a food scale and measure all foods. see what you are really eating.

    stick to it for 2-3 weeks and see what happens.

    I will note, if you just added exercise or increased exercise your muscles may be retaining water to repair themsleves.

    you don't need to stop eating or exercise more (unless you want to) until you've addressed the above (what should you be eating, and how much are you really eating).
  • OCDOD
    OCDOD Posts: 21 Member
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    Start weighing your food on a food scale and prepare to be shocked
  • sarabushby
    sarabushby Posts: 784 Member
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    What is your height?
    How much are you exercising and at what activity?
    Are you eating back these calories? (It seems not but just checking)

    You could just be at a low deficit losing say 1/4lb per week which can be masked by water weight and TOM.

    At 5’5 and my current weight, eating 1485 calories per day it would take me around a month to lose just 1lb if I was not exercising. Weight loss needs patience.

    I would also suggest you use a trend weight app like Libra or Happy Scale.
  • mikmurphy
    mikmurphy Posts: 57 Member
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    Thanks for all the responses! I will start weighing my food. I have an old postal scale hanging around. I eat mostly prepared foods so I won't have too many things to weigh. I'm pretty good about measuring out liquids and such, but I haven't weighed other items.

    I'm 5'7". I'm eating back my calories burned sometimes. I've been adding many less calories than the MFP suggested ones for activities. I have a goal that if I keep at this for a month I can reward myself with a fitness tracker. I really want to be losing 3 lbs a month ideally.

    It is possible that it's water weight. I've been exercising for a bit over 2 weeks now. I'm getting close to my period now and I also use a progesterone cream for perimenopause symptoms. Today I weighed a pound less than yesterday, go figure! I will grab a weight app too.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    mikmurphy wrote: »
    Thanks for all the responses! I will start weighing my food. I have an old postal scale hanging around. I eat mostly prepared foods so I won't have too many things to weigh. I'm pretty good about measuring out liquids and such, but I haven't weighed other items.

    I'm 5'7". I'm eating back my calories burned sometimes. I've been adding many less calories than the MFP suggested ones for activities. I have a goal that if I keep at this for a month I can reward myself with a fitness tracker. I really want to be losing 3 lbs a month ideally.

    It is possible that it's water weight. I've been exercising for a bit over 2 weeks now. I'm getting close to my period now and I also use a progesterone cream for perimenopause symptoms. Today I weighed a pound less than yesterday, go figure! I will grab a weight app too.

    Could be water retention from new activity, and TOM (for me that's about 5 extra pounds). Have a bit more patience. As for weighing stuff, even the prepackaged food can be off a considerable amount, so it is worth weighing that as well. Have a little more patience with yourself. Stress can play with the scale too. I'm sorry you lost such an amazing friend.
  • mstarks01
    mstarks01 Posts: 109 Member
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    I just want to say that I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your best friend.
  • NCGOALIEMOM
    NCGOALIEMOM Posts: 80 Member
    edited April 2019
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    Weighing is CRITCAL. I started a nutrition program last Sept after years of using MFP. They require you to weigh everything (not even using measuring cup...literally weighing everything all the way down to butter by ounces or grams) just by doing that, you quickly realize how far off your Eyeballing is. I’m down 54 pounds since Sept.
  • earlnabby
    earlnabby Posts: 8,171 Member
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    mikmurphy wrote: »
    Thanks for all the responses! I will start weighing my food. I have an old postal scale hanging around. I eat mostly prepared foods so I won't have too many things to weigh. I'm pretty good about measuring out liquids and such, but I haven't weighed other items.

    .

    You need to weigh out prepared foods too. Food regulations allow for a margin of error and prepared foods can be as much as 20% over their stated weight. Some can be under but most are over.

    A postal scale is handy. You can also buy a really decent kitchen scale at Amazon or Walmart for $15.

  • FinntheVeggie
    FinntheVeggie Posts: 74 Member
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    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    laceygaywilson wrote: »
    mikmurphy wrote: »
    Thanks for all the responses! I will start weighing my food. I have an old postal scale hanging around. I eat mostly prepared foods so I won't have too many things to weigh. I'm pretty good about measuring out liquids and such, but I haven't weighed other items.

    I'm 5'7". I'm eating back my calories burned sometimes. I've been adding many less calories than the MFP suggested ones for activities. I have a goal that if I keep at this for a month I can reward myself with a fitness tracker. I really want to be losing 3 lbs a month ideally.

    It is possible that it's water weight. I've been exercising for a bit over 2 weeks now. I'm getting close to my period now and I also use a progesterone cream for perimenopause symptoms. Today I weighed a pound less than yesterday, go figure! I will grab a weight app too.

    We have exactly the same goal I'm roughly 170 and my goal is 150ish!!!

    I am sorry for your lost!! Stress can cause changes in your body. The way we deal with stress can cause us to hold on to all kinds of things! So I recommend have a good cry let it all out!! Then before bed drink some smooth move!! (It's a tea that will empty all the yuck out of your system) then start fresh!!! Burn more calories than you consume and eat less than the defosit will allow!! You will be shreding lbs in no time!! This is my third weightloss journey!!! We got this!! Feel free to vent to me anytime!! Also see my daily Battle with the scale in the motivation and support forum!! Add me if you want to!!!

    Laxative tea is unnecessary, same with under eating.

    Seconded. That stuff is not helpful, and can even be unsafe for many people.
  • MarilynTC
    MarilynTC Posts: 98 Member
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    I am very sorry for your loss. I can totally understand gaining weight after a shocking life event - I gained 50 lbs last year when I was suffering from huge, nasty leg wounds likely caused by vasculitis. Doctors still have no idea why it happened, nor are they in agreement as to what they are, really. Luckily for me they are healing now, but I have to lose all this extra weight and suffer from major depressive disorder on top of it all.

    If you want to talk, feel free to message me!
  • earlnabby
    earlnabby Posts: 8,171 Member
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    debraah66 wrote: »
    I don't weigh things and so far I havent had a problem. I did realize I was eating too much butter when I started though. Anyway, I would try not to use your extra calories from exercise. I'm not sure how accurate the burned calories are on this app.

    They are as accurate as what you enter. just like the food.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,013 Member
    edited April 2019
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    laceygaywilson wrote: »
    mikmurphy wrote: »
    Thanks for all the responses! I will start weighing my food. I have an old postal scale hanging around. I eat mostly prepared foods so I won't have too many things to weigh. I'm pretty good about measuring out liquids and such, but I haven't weighed other items.

    I'm 5'7". I'm eating back my calories burned sometimes. I've been adding many less calories than the MFP suggested ones for activities. I have a goal that if I keep at this for a month I can reward myself with a fitness tracker. I really want to be losing 3 lbs a month ideally.

    It is possible that it's water weight. I've been exercising for a bit over 2 weeks now. I'm getting close to my period now and I also use a progesterone cream for perimenopause symptoms. Today I weighed a pound less than yesterday, go figure! I will grab a weight app too.

    We have exactly the same goal I'm roughly 170 and my goal is 150ish!!!

    I am sorry for your lost!! Stress can cause changes in your body. The way we deal with stress can cause us to hold on to all kinds of things! So I recommend have a good cry let it all out!! Then before bed drink some smooth move!! (It's a tea that will empty all the yuck out of your system) then start fresh!!! Burn more calories than you consume and eat less than the defosit will allow!! You will be shreding lbs in no time!! This is my third weightloss journey!!! We got this!! Feel free to vent to me anytime!! Also see my daily Battle with the scale in the motivation and support forum!! Add me if you want to!!!

    There is absolutely NO reason to drink laxative tea or eat less than the deficit MFP gives you, and in fact it can be counter productive and even dangerous.


    OP, I'm sorry you've been struggling :flowerforyou: Take a deep breathe, you can do this.

    Some of the Most Helpful Posts threads may help:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10636388/free-customized-personal-weight-loss-eating-plan-not-spam-or-mlm/p1

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10634517/you-dont-use-a-food-scale/p1
  • OooohToast
    OooohToast Posts: 257 Member
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    I am also sorry for your loss - I think it was (and still is) a time to be kind to yourself. Please give yourself time to recover from the shock and loss. As for the weight loss, I can only echo the advice to weigh everything - I didnt for the first two weeks and like you was thinking 'why isnt anything happening'. I am still amazed at just how far out I was with the portions....and fat is a particulalry sneaky one ! What macros are you working to ? And is there much in the way of processed food in your daily menu?

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