How do people gain weight back?
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Im confused why so many people once they get to goal weight, somehow gain the weight back?
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing".
For me if I were to go back to old habbits, once Id notice I am up say 10 pounds (really 5 but that could just be a chinese buffet meal the day after) I'd make a plan to get back on track ASAP.. but i see threads about people who lose 50 plus lbs but return with all that weight and then some back.
Im terrified to have that happen to me so I'd love insight into why we think those types of people struggle or let it happen. Thanks
Easy to say, harder to do...especially when you're talking about diligence over years and years. Beyond that, life happens and best laid plans go by the wayside.
I've more or less maintained for 6 years and have had various trials along the way. I've had periods of time when I'm cycling 100 - 150 miles per week and I don't even really have to think about what I'm eating and times like now when I'm more time crunched where I'm lucky to get in 30-45 minute rides in 3 days per week for which I must be much more diligent with food.
I usually put on 8-10 Lbs most winters when my activity dips due to cold and dark and holidays roll around, good comfort food is abundant, etc...thus far I've always taken it off at some point during the spring, but it's always a struggle to get back to that dieting mode to cut the weight and usually takes me a couple of months just to get there mentally.
It all sounds good and easy, but it's harder than people think...especially as time goes on and you have more *kitten* it moments. I was pretty gung ho in maintenance for my first couple of years, but as time goes on I have way more moments of, "do I go for a ride or do I lay out by the pool with a cold one and relax?"
Also, life just changes along the way. I actually had a lot more time to take care of myself before my kids were in school...now they are both in school and have homework and various projects and soccer practice and soccer games and golf practice, etc.19 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »OP, I'm going to assume that you've never had to maintain a significant weight loss, long term. Because weight loss is the easy part, it's maintenance that's a *kitten*.
The thing about habits is that they're very ingrained into your life and once the motivation of the short weight loss period ends, it's very easy for those bad habits to creep back in, without you even realizing it. Maintenance is such a mind game and has a lot of challenges, (along with triumphs).
Most people fail at weight loss adherence within 2 years, and the success rate is dismal beyond the 5 year mark. Like I said-maintenance can be a *kitten*
I get that but my thing is Lets say "Frank" goes from a size 42 waist down to a 32. Wouldn't they be self aware that they are in the wrong direction if say a size 36 suddenly gets too tight? I know years is a lot of time in retrospect but i have a hard time grasping how they get up to a size 44 again before realizing they need to get back on track again?
Don't you think that "Frank" was aware that he was overweight when he first went up through the sizes, with each size getting too small, until he reached size 42 the first time around? Why do you think there is something special about supposedly being in maintenance (although many people who reach a weight loss goal think of it as "done" and don't have the same goal-minded approach to maintenance) that would make people more likely to take and stick with the actions needed to lose any weight they "re-gain" as opposed to taking and sticking with the necessary actions during the initial gain? There are plenty of overweight and obese people around. Do you think they aren't self-aware?
I'm taking you at your word that your postings are coming from a place of anxiety about your own ability to maintain when you reach your goal, but the way you phrase your posts by speaking about other people, they can easily come across as judging the character of people who regain weight. I think for any of us who have ever allowed ourselves to become overweight at one time, compassion, if not self-awareness of the potential hypocrisy, should lead us away from suggesting that people who regain weight are exhibiting some kind of moral or character flaw.
The difference is "Frank" now knows what it takes to lose where as the first time he may not have. My logic is why he wouldn't ho back to what he learned sooner in the process.1 -
It’s really simple to understand. Eating too much. Life happens, and there are as many reasons as there are people, of how they “let” it happen after all the hard work they put in.
It happens to over 80% of the people who lose weight, so it’s not unusual.3 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »OP, I'm going to assume that you've never had to maintain a significant weight loss, long term. Because weight loss is the easy part, it's maintenance that's a *kitten*.
The thing about habits is that they're very ingrained into your life and once the motivation of the short weight loss period ends, it's very easy for those bad habits to creep back in, without you even realizing it. Maintenance is such a mind game and has a lot of challenges, (along with triumphs).
Most people fail at weight loss adherence within 2 years, and the success rate is dismal beyond the 5 year mark. Like I said-maintenance can be a *kitten*
I get that but my thing is Lets say "Frank" goes from a size 42 waist down to a 32. Wouldn't they be self aware that they are in the wrong direction if say a size 36 suddenly gets too tight? I know years is a lot of time in retrospect but i have a hard time grasping how they get up to a size 44 again before realizing they need to get back on track again?
Don't you think that "Frank" was aware that he was overweight when he first went up through the sizes, with each size getting too small, until he reached size 42 the first time around? Why do you think there is something special about supposedly being in maintenance (although many people who reach a weight loss goal think of it as "done" and don't have the same goal-minded approach to maintenance) that would make people more likely to take and stick with the actions needed to lose any weight they "re-gain" as opposed to taking and sticking with the necessary actions during the initial gain? There are plenty of overweight and obese people around. Do you think they aren't self-aware?
I'm taking you at your word that your postings are coming from a place of anxiety about your own ability to maintain when you reach your goal, but the way you phrase your posts by speaking about other people, they can easily come across as judging the character of people who regain weight. I think for any of us who have ever allowed ourselves to become overweight at one time, compassion, if not self-awareness of the potential hypocrisy, should lead us away from suggesting that people who regain weight are exhibiting some kind of moral or character flaw.
The difference is "Frank" now knows what it takes to lose where as the first time he may not have. My logic is why he wouldn't ho back to what he learned sooner in the process.
Maybe Frank started a new job with a longer commute that requires more mental strain and less activity.
Maybe Frank has a new baby and is trying to work keeping a tiny human alive into his new daily routine.
Maybe Frank moved to a new city that isn't as climate or activity friendly as the one he left.
Maybe Frank lost a loved one and went through a depressive episode.
Maybe maybe maybe...
You said yourself, you possibly don't have a lot of life experience yet. Often times our plates fill so full, something has to give (or so we feel). Unfortunately, attention to diet and activity are easy to let go in place of more immediately pressing matters.29 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Im confused why so many people once they get to goal weight, somehow gain the weight back?
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing".
For me if I were to go back to old habbits, once Id notice I am up say 10 pounds (really 5 but that could just be a chinese buffet meal the day after) I'd make a plan to get back on track ASAP.. but i see threads about people who lose 50 plus lbs but return with all that weight and then some back.
Im terrified to have that happen to me so I'd love insight into why we think those types of people struggle or let it happen. Thanks
Easy to say, harder to do...especially when you're talking about diligence over years and years. Beyond that, life happens and best laid plans go by the wayside.
I've more or less maintained for 6 years and have had various trials along the way. I've had periods of time when I'm cycling 100 - 150 miles per week and I don't even really have to think about what I'm eating and times like now when I'm more time crunched where I'm lucky to get in 30-45 minute rides in 3 days per week for which I must be much more diligent with food.
I usually put on 8-10 Lbs most winters when my activity dips due to cold and dark and holidays roll around, good comfort food is abundant, etc...thus far I've always taken it off at some point during the spring, but it's always a struggle to get back to that dieting mode to cut the weight and usually takes me a couple of months just to get there mentally.
It all sounds good and easy, but it's harder than people think...especially as time goes on and you have more *kitten* it moments. I was pretty gung ho in maintenance for my first couple of years, but as time goes on I have way more moments of, "do I go for a ride or do I lay out by the pool with a cold one and relax?"
And here's the danger... One day you say*kitten* it and have a cold one by the pool. You watch the scale with some anxiety and to your surprise your weight stays the same. In a couple of weeks you try it again - and the scale stays the same. THEN you start to believe it's ok to skip the exercise and lay by the pool. You believe your body has reached some new equilibrium that lets you get away with that... Then the scale creeps - just a bit. You know you need to go for a ride or a run but - dang it - now you're out of shape and it hurts. So you avoid the pain and say *kitten* it - and have a cold one by the pool. You tell yourself you'll start tomorrow... The lies are back in your mind - it's so easy...(Do I sound like I've been down this road?)45 -
This is one of the reasons I wonder if maintaining a small deficit during the week to eat more on the weekend might be a good idea for me. It is what I do now anyway and it keeps me from ever getting out of this mode completely. I don't know until I get there and try it though (assuming that is still my plan).
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I have been obese my entire life (fat kit, obese by high school..you get the picture).
In my mid 20's i lost 100lbs, with the help of a doctor (endocrinologist and registered dietitian). took about a year. put it all back on. i couldn't find a dietitian and didn't think i could do it on my own (had used some drugs the first time).
FINALLY late 20's early 30's I found some help thanks to my family doctor, worked with weight loss management clinic and lost the 100lbs again.
I ended up putting 40lbs back on. I knew it was happening but it was also a pretty hard time for exercise and commitment to food (excuse i know). Finally when my dog died I threw myself into fitness, which made it easier to log and eat well. And for the first time lost weight totally on my own. i'm actually lower than ever having lost 52lbs.
How did I gain all that weight back?
portion creep. i stopped weighing food. and this will be key for my entire future, i am HORRIBLE at bit by bit over months and months letting portion creep come in. Then the treat comes more than once a month. and you stop deciding between dessert or wine and having both....my exercise also reduced (dog could no longer walk as much). Just you know, life.
why didn't i go back on weight loss mode at first size increase?
just normal reasons we don't start weight loss the first time around. we put it off. we don't really commit. "i'll start monday". you get the idea. BUT I did catch myself less than halfway this time so that's ... better.10 -
Life happens. For many people, the issue is comfort/stress eating, or they have psychological issues all tied up in their eating habits, or their weight was a defense mechanism. Once the priority of "weight loss" is gone, all those stressors come back into play, quietly and sometimes subconsciously. You see the weight creeping up but tell yourself, "I deserve this comfort/enjoyment/safety right now, I'll lose the little bit of weight once things get better". But the 5 lbs becomes 10 becomes 20 and now you feel like a failure which makes you double down on the comfort/stress/safety eating. Poof.
Making sure you deal with all the reasons you became overweight while you are losing weight, and planning new reactions & habits, hobbies & comforts before you actually get to maintenance is key IMHO.
I am a data geek. The data gives me the comfort and safety that I used to look for in food and in rules around food. It's why I expect to continue logging for the foreseeable future. I've also become more active, which gives me more food freedom, assuming I retain my health. Logging and walking have helped me maintain for a couple of years, knock on wood this will continue.
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This is one of the reasons I wonder if maintaining a small deficit during the week to eat more on the weekend might be a good idea for me. It is what I do now anyway and it keeps me from ever getting out of this mode completely. I don't know until I get there and try it though (assuming that is still my plan).
That's exactly what I do, and I've been able to maintain for several years. Slight deficit during the week so I can go a little over maintenance calories on the weekend. I maintain in exactly the same way I lost weight, just with a few hundred extra calories available to me. That's been the key for me...nothing much changed when I hit my goal weight.5 -
Being aware that you're gaining and being able to do something about it are two different things. I maintained for a couple years and then went back into old binge eating habits and just got to point where I didn't care. And then I would try for a couple days or weeks and then go on a binge for a week or just stop caring. It's been hard to get back to a consistent diet and routine instead of giving in at social occasions and giving in to the emotional rewards of sitting on the couch and eating without caring about portions.7
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SuzySunshine99 wrote: »This is one of the reasons I wonder if maintaining a small deficit during the week to eat more on the weekend might be a good idea for me. It is what I do now anyway and it keeps me from ever getting out of this mode completely. I don't know until I get there and try it though (assuming that is still my plan).
That's exactly what I do, and I've been able to maintain for several years. Slight deficit during the week so I can go a little over maintenance calories on the weekend. I maintain in exactly the same way I lost weight, just with a few hundred extra calories available to me. That's been the key for me...nothing much changed when I hit my goal weight.
The only pitfall I see with me is that on weeks I don't earn enough calories for a full day at maintenance I still take it because I don't usually care if it slows my loss by a little. I have more than a year to go before I have to worry about it but I have seen enough people regain that I will not back-burner at least some contemplation even now. Much will happen in the next year though with my rate of loss falling and getting even more active.3 -
Being aware that you're gaining and being able to do something about it are two different things. I maintained for a couple years and then went back into old binge eating habits and just got to point where I didn't care. And then I would try for a couple days or weeks and then go on a binge for a week or just stop caring. It's been hard to get back to a consistent diet and routine instead of giving in at social occasions and giving in to the emotional rewards of sitting on the couch and eating without caring about portions.
That "not caring" is really a killer. I think a lot of people can understand the feeling of just wanting to not worry about your responsibilities and being done with having to keep up on everything adult, let alone your eating habits.11 -
RelCanonical wrote: »Being aware that you're gaining and being able to do something about it are two different things. I maintained for a couple years and then went back into old binge eating habits and just got to point where I didn't care. And then I would try for a couple days or weeks and then go on a binge for a week or just stop caring. It's been hard to get back to a consistent diet and routine instead of giving in at social occasions and giving in to the emotional rewards of sitting on the couch and eating without caring about portions.
That "not caring" is really a killer. I think a lot of people can understand the feeling of just wanting to not worry about your responsibilities and being done with having to keep up on everything adult, let alone your eating habits.
Exactly, when life is super stressful I find I don't have the mental energy to care about weight management. So I've been working on stress management.
Injury (couldn't run) and life stress allowed me to gain back 70 lbs of original 120 lbs lost.8 -
I think it's really hard to keep yourself under control long term. Many people post on here that they're sick of logging. Once they lose the weight, they quit. You get used to weight swings while logging, so when it happens in maintenance you don't worry too much--it'll go back down in a few days, but then it doesn't. When you know you're gaining, but don't want to know how much, you stop getting on the scale. That's when you're really in trouble. By the time you force yourself to, it's depressing.5
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I've lost a bunch of weight and have been keeping it off for about a year and a half now... I am terrified about gaining it back (or even some of it back).
I don't trust myself and am planning on tracking my calories for the remainder of my life. Whenever I go "off-book" it seems to always turn into a binge (in the colloquial sense). In the midst of these "binges" I know they are happening. I am telling myself - "hey dude, you are going crazy, stop" - but I just don't. I'll eat until I am ill and it sometimes even continues to the next day. I feel shame and am disgusted with myself after they happen. Then, I get back "on-book" and am great for another few weeks.
So, I can see how someone can know they are gaining weight and know what they should do but just ignore it.
Also, I think some people gain back their weight because of some emotional issue that is never addressed in the dieting process. I know I have some underlying issues with food and am currently looking for a psychologist who specializes in eating disorders (it's been very difficult finding someone who is in my insurance's network). I am a bit scared since I have no experience with mental health care but I think it is necessary for me.9 -
I appreciate all the feedback. BTW im by no means throwing shade at people for not sticking to their weight management. Im just trying to prepare myself mentally by learning from mistakes that other people make. I only had about 50 to lose and have done fairly good of keeping it below a certain point the past 2 years. Also being in a deficit constantly makes me more conscious of what I am taking in.. I just know after goung down several sizes I never want to let myself go up.. so I'll have awareness.. but maybe I have to see myself 3 or 4 years from now.. im still in late 20s so not a whole lot of life experience
All the people who regained weight probably thought that too.14 -
I appreciate all the feedback. BTW im by no means throwing shade at people for not sticking to their weight management. Im just trying to prepare myself mentally by learning from mistakes that other people make. I only had about 50 to lose and have done fairly good of keeping it below a certain point the past 2 years. Also being in a deficit constantly makes me more conscious of what I am taking in.. I just know after goung down several sizes I never want to let myself go up.. so I'll have awareness.. but maybe I have to see myself 3 or 4 years from now.. im still in late 20s so not a whole lot of life experience
All the people who regained weight probably thought that too.
QFT, I'm one of them.
Adding, I've been in maintenance for a year now after losing about 50 pounds. I'm no longer "terrified" of re-gaining as so many of us are after reaching our goal, but I'm well aware that the focus I'm putting into maintaining right now could easly be switched to self-medicating with food if/when an emotional crisis happens. I've had a couple of mini-episodes, and with all my attempts to stratagize around the possibility, I truly don't know what would happen in an ongoing situation.4 -
It took me 10 years to regain the weight that I had lost. It was creeping up slowly, maybe a kg or so every six months. A single kilo is not much.
But why I let myself regain it? A few reasons. When I lost it, I lost it through a fab diet (Ducan) that went on for nearly a year. I hated every single day of it. And when I couldn't push further and lose the last 3-4 kgs, I said *kitten* it. I didn't like how I looked and I thought I'd need to lose another 10-15kgs, despite being 66kg at 171cm (with a big bust). I didn't want to bother and just went back to my old habits.
I maintained in the range of 70kgs for almost 2-3 years, but then I started work and it was extremely sedentary. Then introduce new career-related stress, issues, anxiety, and having never really bothered to deal with my bad relationship with food - it was my comfort, my only friend when everything else seemed to be going to hell.
My first year working I regained maybe 3-4kgs.
It was 4 years ago when I had reached 78kgs that I decided to start working out and try to start learning a bit about nutrition as I didn't want to hear or think about another diet like Ducan. I hired a PT to teach me how to properly workout as I didn't want to hear another "cardio for 2hrs". Two months into it and I sprained my ankle, ending up unable to walk for 4 weeks, unable to workout for 2 months. But I took the time to find MFP (December 2015), I started reading everything there was to read, understanding about calories, reading stories of people who had been three times my weight and yet they had lost it all by this magical thing called CICO (it sounded so damn simple that I didn't really believe it).
And there was my first attempt to get back on track and start losing again. I managed to maintain and even lose a couple of kgs despite being immobile, I was thrilled. And tadaaa!! I tore my ACL. Exactly 3 years ago I was told my knee was done. I couldn't walk, it hurt, I was lost. It hit me bad because it meant that I had to have surgery and be off work for months.
My weight crept up to 82kgs. The day after I was released from the hospital I came back to MFP. I started logging, I was taking care of myself, but being immobile, being away from everything and everyone kept playing tricks with my mind (depression+anxiety), so I'd log for a couple of weeks, then eat my emotions away. And when I went back to work... it was madness. I had to prove myself and regain my position. I had to concentrate on that and I simply couldn't deal with any of that. Still I had learned enough by then to at least maintain.
I remained 82 until last summer. But as I mentioned before during my initial weight loss or the past ten years I hadn't taken the time to actually evaluate my relationship with food, find why the moment I feel down or upset or anxious I need to stuff myself. And the past year-year and a half was hard. I lost close people to myself. My career was growing but I still didn't really know how to handle the new responsibilities and related stress. I was quite literally drowning. This January I weighed at 94.6. I wasn't surprised by the huge gain. I was partially surprised it wasn't more considering just how much I had been eating those past six months. And I knew that if I didn't do something then I would be lost.
I spent nearly 4 months focusing more on my emotional health, learning to deal with stress, emotions and anxiety. Learning to be honest with myself. Learning to take care of myself.
I started logging on 26th March. I'm already 6.8 kgs down - currently weighing at 87.4 kgs. This time I not only have a bit more knowledge about nutrition and fitness, but now I know myself much better. I treat myself much better. And even though I'm almost 20kgs away from where I want to be, I've already started reading and learning about maintenance. This time I'm prepared and I intend to kick *kitten*, my own *kitten*.12
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