Binge eating disorder

Nataliieexo · May 2019

I’ve been debating wether to write this for a while now. I’ve been sure I have a binge eating disorder for years now.
As a child I would sneak sweets, biscuits etc.
As a teen I was thin, maybe too thin, a mixture of never being home, constantly being active, hardly eating and drinking alcohol.
That stopped and suddenly I was hiding food again, hiding what I’d bought at the shop, hiding wrappers, no one knew how much I was eating outside of family meals.
It seemed to phase in and out I would binge eat for long periods of time, gain weight, then without trying I would eat normally, not healthy but I wouldn’t really eat outside of meals and i managed to maintain my weight for quite a long time
I had my son in 2014 I put more weight on after having him than I did when I was pregnant with him. I then had my own house, and so much freedom. I was then told I had secondary infertility and they couldn’t work out why and said it was my weight and I had to have a bmi of 30 to have fertility treatment.
I started slimming world in oct18 and lost 2st and thought it was something I could carry on with because it worked well. Then Christmas came and it went downhill from there while I have maintained my weight loss I am in a bad cycle. Which includes binge eating, taking water retention pills that make you pee out the excess water weight you have gained, counting calories for a few days then back into that cycle of using water pills. It was supposed to be a one off thing but it didn’t turn into that if it’s not the water tablets, it’s binge eat then make myself exercise or walk 30.000 steps a day to try and counter act some of the damage. It’s just a bad cycle.
Now I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve spoken to a dr briefly about it but didn’t feel like she cared or believed me and I left feeling like I was just greedy.
My partner has no idea how much I eat either.

The worst thing is I’m so down about having secondary infertility when it’s probably the binge eating that’s caused it. I don’t ovulate at all, I’m not going to get anywhere with that at all unless I can get healthy.
I just don’t know what to do about it especially after a dr brushed me off.

Lillymoo01 · May 2019

It takes a lot of strength to open up like that and be so honest. That alone is a huge step forward. You really need to see a therapist who specialises in eating disorders. We can offer you heaps of support, but can't really give you the advice you need as we are not trained to do so and may end up giving you unhelpful information unintentionally. Speak to your doctor again and if they don't listen find one that will so that you can get a referral.

I wish you the best of luck for treatment so that you can break this cycle for good.

ceiswyn · May 2019

I don't have a solution, but I hear you.

In retrospect, I suspect that most of the reason I got to 385 pounds was undiagnosed binge eating disorder (just to go along with my depression and anxiety, THANKS BRAIN). It's only in the past couple of years that I have begun to recognise that what I thought was hunger was actually often the binge urge. And that that is actually stronger than actual hunger.

The last few weeks, especially, I've been struggling with bingeing - due, I suspect, to tiredness, stress, and various things making me miserable or frustrated. A bowl of ice cream after dinner seems inoffensive and fits inside my calories, but then instead of feeling satisfied I kind of fancy more, and... the more I eat, the stronger the urge gets, like a hook in my gut constantly drawing me downstairs to get yet more food, until I've eaten enough calories to gain a pound and feel physically sick.

The most frustrating thing is knowing that if I can stop for just ten minutes that urge will go away completely. But while I'm in the grip of the urge I just. Can't. Stop.

MichelleSilverleaf · May 2019

I second pushing your doctor for a referral, and if she doesn't ask her to note it in your file that you requested a referral and she refused to make one. It seems to work stateside to get drs who don't want to doctor.

Nataliieexo · May 2019

I will definitely make a appointment with a dr and see if I will be taken seriously.
I want to change, I need to change, it already effects my reproductive system. I am just 1st 6lbs from the weight they wanted me to be for the fertility treatment but I’m stuck and I don’t think I will be able to move forward until I get help.
I had to take a break from slimming world because I was running out of excuses as to why I was gaining and losing the same pounds all the time.

Nataliieexo · May 2019

ceiswyn wrote: »

I don't have a solution, but I hear you.

In retrospect, I suspect that most of the reason I got to 385 pounds was undiagnosed binge eating disorder (just to go along with my depression and anxiety, THANKS BRAIN). It's only in the past couple of years that I have begun to recognise that what I thought was hunger was actually often the binge urge. And that that is actually stronger than actual hunger.

The last few weeks, especially, I've been struggling with bingeing - due, I suspect, to tiredness, stress, and various things making me miserable or frustrated. A bowl of ice cream after dinner seems inoffensive and fits inside my calories, but then instead of feeling satisfied I kind of fancy more, and... the more I eat, the stronger the urge gets, like a hook in my gut constantly drawing me downstairs to get yet more food, until I've eaten enough calories to gain a pound and feel physically sick.

The most frustrating thing is knowing that if I can stop for just ten minutes that urge will go away completely. But while I'm in the grip of the urge I just. Can't. Stop.

I feel the same, a lot of the time I don’t even enjoy the food, or I get to the point of feeling so ill because I’ve ate that much and I think to myself I’m definitely not doing this again but I do. I’m definitely a stress eater, emotional eater it doesn’t take much to trigger me.

Unknown · May 2019

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teranga79 · May 2019

ceiswyn wrote: »

I don't have a solution, but I hear you.

In retrospect, I suspect that most of the reason I got to 385 pounds was undiagnosed binge eating disorder (just to go along with my depression and anxiety, THANKS BRAIN). It's only in the past couple of years that I have begun to recognise that what I thought was hunger was actually often the binge urge. And that that is actually stronger than actual hunger.

The last few weeks, especially, I've been struggling with bingeing - due, I suspect, to tiredness, stress, and various things making me miserable or frustrated. A bowl of ice cream after dinner seems inoffensive and fits inside my calories, but then instead of feeling satisfied I kind of fancy more, and... the more I eat, the stronger the urge gets, like a hook in my gut constantly drawing me downstairs to get yet more food, until I've eaten enough calories to gain a pound and feel physically sick.

The most frustrating thing is knowing that if I can stop for just ten minutes that urge will go away completely. But while I'm in the grip of the urge I just. Can't. Stop.

This has explained exactly what I go through so much better than I could have expressed it. I know, rationally, that of course I can stop, that's I'm the only person who has control over what I eat (and how much of it). But mid-binge, and pre-binge, a herd of wild horses couldn't keep me away from the food.

dgailwhitt · May 2019

I don't claim to be an expert or even cured but I can sympathize and share with you some self-help techniques that have been helping me. For the last month, I have been eating differently than I have my entire life. I find that if I focus on getting adequate protein (for me, 40% of my intake), I am less likely to binge. Although the tendency to binge is thought to be psychological, it must be also physiological as well because this seems to be working for me. I think that my cravings are reduced and I am less likely to binge. I only had one episode during the last 32 days and other than that I have been sticking to my eating plan. I also have experienced a lifetime of binges and within the last few years, it has even gotten worse happening at least twice a week. This made any weight loss impossible.

The other thing that I have been doing is whenever I think of starting to binge, I remember the reason why I want to lose weight. According to my BMI, I am now morbidly obese. I am still active and healthy but I am now classified as such. I want to change that. I am using a phrase that reminds me of that fact. I knew a women who was about 20 years older than me, morbidly obese and confined to a scooter. She has since passed away. Whenever the urge hits me, I say her name to remind me of my motivation to stop the binge.

You have a very compelling reason to lose weight...for your child and future children. You should do every thing in your power to lose it now because I can tell you from experience, it will only get harder.

Another self-help resource...google "self-help for binge eating" You can access free articles that help you with overcoming this disease. Find one that resonates with you. Geneen Roth is an author who has written several books on the subject.

I hope some of this might help you.

ceiswyn · May 2019

The fact that I am at my goal weight range and in maintenance is definitely not helping. It just means there's a little voice that says 'so what if you gain a couple of pounds, you can afford to...'

But how many pounds will that couple turn into, little voice?

kshama2001 · May 2019

Nataliieexo wrote: »

I will definitely make a appointment with a dr and see if I will be taken seriously.
I want to change, I need to change, it already effects my reproductive system. I am just 1st 6lbs from the weight they wanted me to be for the fertility treatment but I’m stuck and I don’t think I will be able to move forward until I get help.
I had to take a break from slimming world because I was running out of excuses as to why I was gaining and losing the same pounds all the time.

Great, let us know how that goes

I snuck sweets as a child too and later self-medicated with alcohol. I found the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques I learned in just a handful of Smart Recovery and Rational Recovery meeting tremendously helpful. (Last I checked only SR had in person meetings these days.) CBT is also very effective for food issues.

CBT (and yoga) helped me with the emotional issues that were causing me to self-medicate.

Changing my macros helps me with the physical issues/cravings - if I'm not getting enough protein I can eat and eat and eat and never feel satisfied, even if I've eaten to the point of feeling sick.

Regular exercise helps me as well - not sure what category to put that in.

Unknown · May 2019

This content has been removed.

SillyGirl_6 · May 2019

Thank you for sharing your story. Being vulnerable takes courage. I developed BED while taking care of my Dad when he got cancer while being a single mom with 4 kids at home. I pretty much ate my way through a year and a half. My PCP put me on Vyvanse in March. It is normally used for ADD but has also been accepted by the FDA for use with BED. It calms the cravings and urges to binge. I'm also in counseling and learning to cope with stress in a healthier manner. MFP and my Fitbit are how I keep myself in check.

I would try another provider if you can. NPs can normally see you sooner that an MD. Vyvanse might not be right for you or you may not want to take a prescription. It's an option if you want to research it. I highly recommend counseling if you have insurance that will cover it.

Much luck to you! Hugs!

GaleHawkins · May 2019

Nataliieexo wrote: »

I’ve been debating wether to write this for a while now. I’ve been sure I have a binge eating disorder for years now.
As a child I would sneak sweets, biscuits etc.
As a teen I was thin, maybe too thin, a mixture of never being home, constantly being active, hardly eating and drinking alcohol.
That stopped and suddenly I was hiding food again, hiding what I’d bought at the shop, hiding wrappers, no one knew how much I was eating outside of family meals.
It seemed to phase in and out I would binge eat for long periods of time, gain weight, then without trying I would eat normally, not healthy but I wouldn’t really eat outside of meals and i managed to maintain my weight for quite a long time
I had my son in 2014 I put more weight on after having him than I did when I was pregnant with him. I then had my own house, and so much freedom. I was then told I had secondary infertility and they couldn’t work out why and said it was my weight and I had to have a bmi of 30 to have fertility treatment.
I started slimming world in oct18 and lost 2st and thought it was something I could carry on with because it worked well. Then Christmas came and it went downhill from there while I have maintained my weight loss I am in a bad cycle. Which includes binge eating, taking water retention pills that make you pee out the excess water weight you have gained, counting calories for a few days then back into that cycle of using water pills. It was supposed to be a one off thing but it didn’t turn into that if it’s not the water tablets, it’s binge eat then make myself exercise or walk 30.000 steps a day to try and counter act some of the damage. It’s just a bad cycle.
Now I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve spoken to a dr briefly about it but didn’t feel like she cared or believed me and I left feeling like I was just greedy.
My partner has no idea how much I eat either.

The worst thing is I’m so down about having secondary infertility when it’s probably the binge eating that’s caused it. I don’t ovulate at all, I’m not going to get anywhere with that at all unless I can get healthy.
I just don’t know what to do about it especially after a dr brushed me off.

@Nataliieexo thanks so much for sharing your story. The pain is easy to feel. Like the others I have no way of knowing the solution that will fix your binge eating.

I was 63 and about to lose my mobility and could feel my life slipping away in front of my then 16 year old kids back in 2014. On a hunch I cut out all foods containing added sugars and or any form of any grain hoping to avoid starting on Enbrel injections for pain management of my Ankylosing Spondylitis. I had to find a way of giving the kids a way out should they develop Ankylosing Spondylitis and I did. They are going to be turning 22 this year and know how I started reversing Ankylosing Spondylitis is a small way.

Due to my cravings I had to do it cold turkey and it was a hellish two weeks holding my daily carbs down to 50 grams daily. Another two weeks in the cravings started to leave and now in 2019 have yet to return thankfully.

Again I have no answer for you since I do not know your case and the internet is not the place to give or get eating advice to/from strangers. The best way I found to counter the damage of my old WAY OF EATING was to find a new WOE that did not cause the physical and mental damage that my old WOE was causing.

My health started improving a few months after I started my new WOE back in 2014 and improves some year by year ever since. At 68 my health and health markers are better than at the age of 38.

I struggled for a life time and I truly hope you do not struggle much longer. There is no magic out there but there are better ways of eating in most all cases.

lindamtuck2018 · May 2019

I to have binge eating disorder. It controlled my life for so long. My disorder seemed to overrule every rational thought I had when it came to food. The hiding of food, the joy of the binge and the shame that came after was a never ending circle. By the time I entered therapy, I was in a deep depression. Therapy saved my life. I am not saying i don’t have to work hard to stay healthy but when that disordered thinking starts it is easier to manage.

Here are some of the things that work for me. They may not work for everyone. I have a list of things I can do instead of binging. I am more aware of what leads to a binge for me. I try and control these things as much as possible. Every night before I go to bed, I plan my food for the next day. I stick to this as much as possible. I eat 3 meals and 2 snacks every day. I also don’t restrict my calories too low as this will lead to a binge. As I was depressed, I had to add structure to my life.I know this sound regimental but it works for me. I stress the fact that this works for me and may not be right for someone else.

I really feel for you. I know how hard it is to deal with this disorder. I would go back to your doctor and tell him you really want to enter a program. I did my therapy through the adult eating disorder clinic here on an outpatient basis. Maybe you could see a private psychologist who doesn’t need a referral.

emmamcgarity · May 2019

Back in my 30s I was dealing with infertility issues and had 4 consecutive miscarriages after 2 prior successful pregnancies. The doctors couldn’t explain it. Even the infertility doctor didn’t understand why. I remember soothing myself with food. I remember sneaking food from the kitchen into my bedroom closet so that no one would see me eat. I remember sleeping and eating and nothing else to try and make me not feel the world around me. Eventually I decided to use Weight Watchers to somehow discipline myself to lose the weight. Yet even while doing that, I struggled. I remember tearfully being on the phone with a friend while eating a bag of Hershey’s kisses and telling her what a failure I was. She said something that flipped a switch in my brain. She told me to log the Hershey’s kisses in my food log and move on. I wasn’t a failure. It was a bad moment. A bad day. One moment doesn’t define me. My food log doesn’t have to be pretty. It was ok if I went over on points. It doesn’t mean I’m a failure. It just means I’m human. She encouraged me to just make my next meal in plan and move on. She also encouraged me to walk for 30 minutes per day the rest of the week simply to keep myself accountable. I honestly don’t remember if I lost weight that week. But I did eventually lose the weight and eventually got pregnant again. That kid is 13 years old now. If you can’t manage to find a therapist, find a friend to chat with. Someone rational who will remind you that you are worth the effort. My sincere prayers go out to you on this journey.

helene4 · May 2019

Thank you for sharing your story! You are not alone. I struggled with an eating disorder after a traumatic experience.

I got a psychotherapist (from browsing online and picking one that I felt comfortable with) and talking to her stopped my eating disorder in its tracks! It took seeing her once a week for a month.
I still have ups and downs, but with her support my health has been restored
(Eating disorders really take a toll on the body) I consider myself recovered

Life is really hard if we try to go at it alone and fix all our problems ourself. And the best part of life is that we don’t have to do any of it alone if we don’t want to.

Never give up
I believe in you

Nataliieexo · May 2019

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories and experiences, and things you found helpful.
I will look into all of these and take notes along with seeing the dr.
I have seen a therapist before but that was to deal with losing my mother and depression. I never once mentioned the food to them maybe I should of.
I was a carer for my Mam from the age of 19-23 before she passed away and losing her will always be difficult for me, anniversaries and birthdays are a massive trigger for me.
My son is also autistic and I always put myself last. I don’t even look in the mirror very often.
I just want to be healthy for my son and be able to run around with him and hopefully give him a sibling one day.

rickfit73 · May 2019

I'm a little late to reply but I think I can add to the discussion. I'm a lifelong binge eater and spent most of my life at least 100+ lbs overweight with my highest over 400. I'd binge daily and my mind was always on food. If I'd start a 'diet' by day 2 my brain and stomach would be signaling that I was starving and near death. At 45 I got medical help and finally realized that my whole system was broken. This wasn't a simple willpower problem, but a hormone (leptin / insulin) sensitivity problem.
Under a doctor's direction I started eating low 100g carb, almost no sugar, daily 30 min light exercise and mostly whole foods. I also took prescription Phentermine which for me took away the urges and compulsion on the first day and allowed me the work the plan. The medicine kept me from sabotaging myself like I did the last 1,000 times I tried to change. I wasn't perfect, but I was pretty good 90% of the time.
6 months later I'm down 85 lbs with normal blood pressure. I believe that having a BMI 30, 40, 50+++ is a disease and I should have been treating it as seriously as I would have if I was told I had another major illness.
Good luck. There is something out there that works for each of us. We just have to find it and sometimes we need to seek professional help.

perezlau · May 2019

Maybe see an endocrinologist. Just to make sure hormones are balanced. Sometimes things like PCOS can cause fluctuations in hormone levels that affect fertility and weight.
Also, maybe find a professional psy dr. to speak to as to why you feel you should hide what you eat or to kind of help you get to a deeper understanding of what is beneath this behavior.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you find resolution or a path that helps you overcome this.

JRsLateInLifeMom · May 2019

Dietician their very helpful have seen it all . If need be they can recommend a psychiatrist who works with them that specializes in eating disorder fields .Some Doctors are pains you got to go around them or through them like a bull. It’s your health not theirs so take control if they won’t listen! When the Pediatrician don’t agree I go over their heads to a Baby Dieticians to dermatologists for my son. Not waiting for a bunch of folks to magically start agreeing I know something wrong I’m going to get it fixed no matter what. Plus the Pediatrician I got are bunch of morons swear the same one gives a different diagnosis a week later for the same kid with the same skin rash! The colleague in the office disagreed with them. Bam specialist got a final diagnosis slap on some baby eczema creams y some for keratosis pilaris dragged them out of the Stone Age onto my page! I’m too old to go through the nonsense I did with the 1st kid 20 odd years ago! You know what’s wrong they need to listen if not try a few others someone will!

Binge eating disorder

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